Byebye Big Bum!

Hey there!
I don't think I've ever commented on here before; just went back and looked through your diary this morning. :)

I had a few off-days this week as well, so I also am going to be making up for it this week!
Really excellent job with the running!! I love to run, as well. Sounds like you're doing really great with that.

My weight also fluctuated back up this morning...not so fun, huh? Probably it is just that, a fluctuation, though, so don't get discouraged!! :)
 
Thanks for the encouragement hanabi.

I'm just a bit frustrated at the moment - when we went canoeing today, some pictures were taken and looking at them reminds me of how fat I still look. I KNOW logically that its not as bad as it would have been 3 months ago and that this is a gradual process but I am fed up of not being able to look at a picture of me without feeling sick at how overweight I look. REALLY FED UP. Maybe I was just wearing unflattering stuff but I honestly couldn't see that much difference between what I looked like today and at christmas when I was 15lbs heavier. Sigh.

I just want to get to a point where I feel ok about myself. Right, no chocolate, no lattes, no chips, no bad meals, no toasted cheese sandwiches for breakfast, no alcohol, no "i've been good all week so one nice meal won't hurt". I want to drop 2-3lbs a week from now on. Gym or running 4 times a week - no excuses. Exercise bike at home each evening with crunches and weights.

I AM GETTING SERIOUS.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
I'm actually feeling really angry with myself.
AND I'M GOING TO RUN THIS F-ING MARATHON NEXT YEAR.

I'm going to drop 7lbs by the end of June.
I'm going to buy myself a new evening dress in the first week of July for this ball my company is having.
I'm going to drop another 7lbs in July
I'm going to increase my running from 45mins to 1 hour and from 5km to 7km.
I'm going to sleep 7 hours per night.
I'm going to arrange to meet up with Mr X in late July or August but not before then.

I'm not going to buy any more size 18 clothes
I'm not going to eat any chocolate/sweets/chips/junk until I am 176lbs. None at all. I don't want them. I don't need them.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
 
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Hey jjjay!

Cheer up bud! Your doing fantastic

Just remember you got this far!!...Slow and steady. You will get there.

It takes time...but you will get there.

You are doing everything right! And I'm sure others like myself are just as proud of you!

Take care....and take a good look at yourself and smile. Your body deserves it!

:)
 
jjjay said:
I'm just a bit frustrated at the moment - when we went canoeing today, some pictures were taken and looking at them reminds me of how fat I still look. I am fed up of not being able to look at a picture of me without feeling sick at how overweight I look. .
Click to expand...

Oh jjjay :(
Can I just say, that I can totally relate to you at the moment!
I keep having all these people come up to me lately and commenting on how much weight I have lost, and I know that I am doing well, AND YET, everytime I walk past a shop window and catch a glimpse of myself I just can't help but recoil in disgust. I was at a party at the weekend and had some photos of me taken and posted on facebook and I just wanted to die!
Granted, I looked better than before, but I keep thinking to myself, "geez, if I am ashamed to look at myself now, can you imagine if this same photo was taken three months ago?"

It just occured to me though.
Perhaps the photos of us were a bit of a blessing in disguise.
Perhaps we've been slowly starting to slip on and off the rails a little more than we'd like to lately and having seen those photos of us has steeled our resolve to continue what we're doing with a renewed sense of passion and determination??
All I can tell you is, since seeing those pictures last night, my desire for crisps and chocolate that i've been struggling with for the past two weeks has suddenly gone AWOL!

I am totally with you on this mate and you don't have to do this alone.
We'll go through it together okay? :)
 
Thanks Flumes! I'm just naturally impatient!!!! I know logically that slow and steady wins the race...I just want it all to happen straight away!

ok! Now that I have that mental picture of those charming photographs (nOT!) I am back on the straight and narrow. Bedsy, i think you are right - especially about the whole if I look like that now...what did I look like 3 months ago - that is just downright SCARY! My snacking/craving has disappeared completely and I am determined once again.

Today I ate:
Breakfast - 1 croissant - 300 cals
200g of Blueberries - 80 cals
1 low cal tuna and sweetcorn brown bread sandwich - 325 cals
4 cups of tea - 40 cals
Low fat/low cal chicken and brocolli pie meal - 320 cals)
1 bread stick - 20 cals

Total - 1085

I might have another cup of tea before bed..but nowt else! See! No snacking!! See!

On the nicer side of things though, a lady I work with (who is slim and lovely) came up to me in the ladies bathroom and said that she didn't want to offend me but had I lost a lot of weight recently becuase I look fantastic. This was exactly what I needed to hear at this time...so it put a smile on my face and a spring in my step for the morning and enabled me to say NO when I met my old boss for a coffee and he wanted to buy us both cake!

Okayyyy just stepped on the scales and I'm back down to 192.8! W00h00..in the evening...after dinner...so expecting good things tomorrow morning for my 1st weigh in on the June monthly challenge. If I move nearer towards being under 190lbs I just got to find my mojo again!! 188lb will be my 50lbs marker too...so can't wait for that!
 
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There! Thats the Jjjay we know! Positivitey!

I'm sure you'll hit your 50 lb goal very soon!
(That number is mind boggling to me....good work!)

Have a great nite and another great day at work tomorrow!
 
heh thanks for stoppping by Flumes...yeah, I'm trying to be on the up again!! Getting that mojo rattlin'!! Helped by stepping on the scales and being 192.0lbs this morning...191 is so close! Which means 190 is getting closer! Which means the 180s are BEAKONING!!

Such a mental milestone for me to get out of the 190s as this is all new territory and 50lbs is within reach. Going to try and come home and run tonight as I've got to go into work early to finish some urgent work rather than go workout this morning :(
The busier work gets, the more difficult exercise time is to find...but on the up side, I don't have time to eat so much!
 
heyyy jay! Sorry I've not stopped by in ages--like you, work is getting hectic! Hard to find the time to exercise myself so I know how you feel :( It's like, I could be thin if the whole world could just stop for about a year!!

Love you attitude at the moment--keep that mentality! You'll be at your 50lb goal in no time! <3 :D
 
ok! Today = good day!

Food:
Breakfast - Low cal Bacon/lettice/tomato sandwich - 345 cals
200g of cherries - 114 cals
Lunch - ham/egg and salad - label said 167 cals with sachet of salad cream but I didn't have the salad cream so....dunno...140 cals?
Small apple - 60 cals
handful of carrots and cauliflower that my daughter didn't finish for dinner - 50 cals
Dinner - low fat/cal lamb hotpot with grated cheese (340 + 100 cals)

Total so far: 1149 and no temptation to snack, plus another coffee house meeting where I drank tea rather than my favourite latte!

Called Mr X's assistant today about some loose ends and she said hello to me then something really loudly that identified that she was talking to me and started laughing - when I asked if everyone in their offices laughs when she does that, she said no, just Mr X...Then she said that actually he was sitting at the desk opposite her obviously in very deep concentration rather than listening in. HUH?!? Either she is teasing him about him liking me or laughing at me about liking him... hmm...it better be the former or I'm never calling either of them ever again! I just have visions of him sitting there going "no no don't tell her I'm here, she'll want to talk to me!" - its the old paranoia going again!

On the positive side, I went out for a coffee with an old friend and she told me that I don't realise just how attractive I am to men - hahahahahaha - I still don't believe her but its nice to hear it!

I'm going for a run - the weather is perfect!

Phew....nice run but I was very very tired - only ran for 25 mins and did 3km - 7.2km/h pace though so faster than I normally do. I've got my half a mile circuit down to 6.5mins (that sounds so pathetic....a 13 min mile...!) so I'm pleased that even if I didn't run a long run, I made it faster.
 
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I feel like they have spoken of you! BUT IN A GOOD WAY!
Cheeky laughter when she announces to him that it's you on the phone?!?
He's so told her he likes you!!!!

Good job on the food jjjay! And enjoy your run :D
 
hehe thanks Bedsy - banish those paranoid voices for me! This is the curse of fatness - you always think "no...why on earth would so and so LIKE ME?!?". Her behaviour was..unusual though...and given that we were all at a meeting together, she probably saw for herself LOL. I do like the idea that I called her and he knew I was talking to her but that I didn't ask to talk to him hehehehehe.

The food thing seems to have clicked lately - in the last couple of days I mean...since our mutual "photo" experience! I just DON'T WANT IT. I'm not going to obsess over not having it, I'm not going to consider having it. Other things are more important.

Slightly disappointed at being 192lbs still on the scales this morning - given that I was 192.2lbs last night and usually theres a couple of pound difference between my evening weight and morning weight (hahahah that sounds SO obsessive!!). However I am putting it down to "getting ready to WHOOOSH down a few lbs!". I might not weigh myself for a few days to give it time to happen!

Going to the theatre tonight and meeting at my favourite restaurant for dinner - i don't know how I'm going to avoid ordering a rack of BBQ ribs like I always have....I can't even find a potential calories count for these on the net but I can guess that its not good!! Ok. think long term. order salad.
 
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You can do it jjjay. I have the utmost faith in you and your goals and I know that right now, at this point in our lives, a nice, fresh, crispy salad is WAY more appealing that a fatty, oily crusty rack of ribs that is going to congeal and block our arteries and prevent us from getting into our sexy double date outfits when we meet up with Mr. X and The One in a few months from now...
 
heheheh
YEAH!!
I will come back tonight and report what healthy things I chose! I'm amazed we're online at the same time Bedsy! Then again it is very early in the morning for me before work.
 
Oh it's 3.15pm here in the afternoon!
Only two more hours of work and then it's GO time!
I am looking forward to your update ;-)
 
You'll see those scales drop super soon, Jay! Good luck for the restaurant but you wont need it! I know you'll do well :D And it totally sounds like Mr X likes you!! Are you going to ask him out do you think? Also, well done on the running! I'm under 170 now and still can't run a bloody mile without dying so you're doing SO well!!! xxxxxx
 
Methinks Mr X likes you too. This is sooo very exciting!!! I think you should totally ask him out (i asked my hunnie out and good thing i did because he said i scared him a little bit and had i not asked him, he would never have). :) :) little did he realize it took A LOT of guts to ask him out (i was just so relieved he said yes).
 
Hey Jjjay!

Grilled chicken is pretty low calorie wise too, and my usual choice in a restaurant. Just go easy on the salad dressing.....lots of empty calories there.
And at my fave restaurant, they had an awesome ribs and meat ravioli combo.
Add bread, a few drinks, some tiramisu....I bet it was 2500 calories no problem.

Now I can enjoy a great salad with chicken, some fizzy water and a small sorbet for a fraction of them calories. Just takes willpower and some healthy thinkin!

Youve done soooo well! I'm sure you'll do fine!

As for Mr. X...I would go for it. Hes probably nervous as you are.



Good luck!
 
hmm, very quick summary because I just got in from a night out and am knackered!

For dinner...w00h00...ate grilled chicken breast with salad (no dressing) and 1/2 jacket potato (no butter) and it WAS YUMMY.

Total cals for today - approx 1200 (not bad for dinner out too!!)

6 phone calls today from a certain someone ;) All work related but most of them unecessary...
 
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You can't see my right now, but I am doing The Happy Dance!!!!!
This post is about seven shades of AWESOMENESS!
I am both very proud of and excited for you mate!
So freaking wonderful! :D
 
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