Butterfly’s Journey to Health

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C'mon, hon. You can do this. It is really important to try to switch your thinking to really nurturing your body. That means not putting rubbish into it. You may laugh at me, but your body really is your temple. Jelly, corn chips, crisps are not nourishing your body. Treat yourself with the absolute respect & love that you deserve. Big hugs, xoxo Cate
 
Thank you Cate! Doesn't sound silly at all. Yes, I need to get better at treating my body better. Not just with eating either, but also with not intentionally harming myself to relieve stress and I need to get better at grooming myself too. I don't hurt myself too bad though, the food probably does more damage than anything else.

It's about 7:30 PM and afternoon snacking was a disaster. I had a whole box (10 servings) of cereal. L Had a late dinner so hoping to just have tea and fruit as an evening snack, or possibly some plain goat’s milk yogurt if I get hungry. I hope to get some dancing in this evening too. Anxiety is through the roof today so I turned to food. Been taking the maximum prescribed dose of anti-anxiety medication and really don't want to up my dose. The good news is I heard magnesium supplements can help anxiety. So going to try taking magnesium on top of my anti-anxiety meds rather than upping my dose of meds, because I’m so sick of side effects from the drugs. Kliles said I may feel better if I eat healthier anyway, which was a good point, so maybe that will help too. Exercised 15 minutes today so far before twisting my knee. It’s feeling better so I’ll try dancing or if that doesn’t work I’ll just lift weights.

And making one more new goal- Try to get a little better with the 3 lb (per arm) weights and then switch to the 5 lb weights.


As far as otherwise nurturing my body, actually brushed my teeth today (I usually don’t) and haven’t intentionally harmed myself all day. Okay, I’m off to exercise.
 
I think learning to really love ourselves is one of the biggest hurdles for most on the forum. I really don't know how we got to this. I know that I have managed to switch my thinking around to taking better care of myself, but still lapse from time to time. I use a lot of self-talk & give myself pep talks. There is no point me suggesting anything that I do not implement myself. There have been so many things that I had to change to get to this stage.
Eating healthy, exercising, seeing a therapist(briefly), looking up motivational sayings to put on the forum(they helped me as much as anyone I think), writing in diaries, including my own.....the list is fairly endless. I have to really work on it. I am prone to anxiety & depression too.
I have been taking magnesium supplements now for about 3 years, but I started taking them for cramps. If it helps with anxiety that is a really good thing.
Try to do something each morning that will make you feel good about yourself. Even if that is just washing your hair & cleaning your teeth. Look at yourself in the mirror & say something nice to yourself. Start little. Pick out an aspect of yourself that you like & say
"Butterfly- you have nice hair (insert whatever)"
Try it. You have to really force yourself some days, but it is possible to concentrate on your good points until what you see as your bad points recede into the distance.
:grouphug: xoxoCate
 
Thank you again Cate! I will try some of those. Danced for about 30 minutes. Had 2 plums as an evening snack and will likely have a cup of tea right before bed. So the day ended well.
 
Thank you Julie! Had a light healthy breakfast and threw around a medicine ball already today, so off to a good start today.
 
Went to bed early so never got the dancing in last night. But I’m up early so I know I can fit some dancing in today. Had too many pea crisps again. I finished what was in the house and decided I’m not buying anymore. Also had some jelly but not as much as last time. No chips though! Meals were pretty healthy. No change in weight.
 
Dancing sounds like a great way to get exercise and really really fun!
I have trouble at night as well with the cravings for food re nervousness and anxiety.
A couple of days ago I revisited making what I like to call "going back to basics" list. So if I am feeling anxious and want to turn to food I check my list first. It has things like read a book, take out the trash, colour in adult colouring books, jump on here, call a friend, listen to music, surf through youtube, read my bible. It helps most times and I have the list on my fridge.;)
I think you are doing a great job by the way. Anxiety is tough and your still making moves to improve what you want.:)
 
I might try making a "Going back to basics list" too. That's good advice Florence.
Well done on the healthy meals butterfly & dancing. There can never be enough dancing :)
 
Thank you Cate!

8/3/16

Breakfast-

Spinach and dairy free cheese omlette


Snack-

None


Lunch-

Gluten free vegan burrito


Snacks-

Plain goat’s milk yogurt

Apple cinnamon rice cakes (about 8 of them)

Grapes

Lemon pineapple tea


Dinner-

Vegetables and shrimp with teriyaki sauce


Snacks-

1 piece sugar-free cinnamon hard candy

2 ½ slices dairy-free American cheese

Raspberry tea

Sugar-free pomegranate mint gum

Grapes

Unsweetened almond milk

Green tea with 1 packet Truvia (erythritol/ stevia mix)


Exercise- 30 minutes dancing


A pretty good day overall.
 
Thank you Cate!

8/4/16

Breakfast-
Dairy free cheese omelette


Snack-
Green tea with 1 packet Truvia (erythritol/ stevia mix)


Lunch-
Tofu scramble burrito


Snacks-
1 can no sugar added pears

Lavender green tea

2 plain rice cakes with unsweetened peanut butter

A little extra unsweetened peanut butter

A little bit of blueberry jelly

Plain goat’s milk yogurt


Dinner-
Organic hotdog with dairy-free cheese and ketchup

Carrots and single serving guacamole


Snacks-
2 small frozen fruit bars

1 regular size frozen fruit bar

4 servings organic fruit snacks

Unsweetened almond milk

Peanuts

Tiny bit of unsweetened peanut butter



Exercise-
Threw around 4 lb medicine ball for 5 minutes

Danced for 30 minutes


Should have had less snacks but some were healthier snacks than what I usually eat. I had a lot of snacks because I was hungry, had cravings, and was stress eating a bit. I’m just so used to eating a large amount. I’m thinking my body will adjust soon, at least I hope.
 
8/5/16


Breakfast-

Dairy free cheese omelette


Snack-

Small lime frozen fruit bar


Lunch-

3 vegetarian tacos


Snacks (was very stressed so turned to eating)-

A lot of fruit snacks and too many frozen fruit bars


Dinner (wasn’t very hungry from all the snacks)-

2 portabella mushrooms with spices and a little oil

a mango

plain goat’s milk yogurt (felt I needed a little protein)



snacks-

one small frozen fruit bar (only about 40 calories)

peanut butter (probably more than I should have had)

can of no sugar added pears


exercise- none


Morning was good. Lunch at the Mexican restaurant was nice. Had terrible anxiety in the afternoon, complete with chest pain, immediately followed by a family emergency, grandfather fell twice. He just had low blood sugar and should be okay, so that’s good. Really stressful second half of the day so I turned to food to cope and didn't exercise. I'll do better tomorrow.
 
8/6/16

Breakfast-

Diary free cheese omlette

Mango

Small frozen fruit bar


Snack-

None


Lunch-

Aged tofu (pretty sure it was fried)

Avocado and sweet potato sushi (the sweet potato looked fried, but not the avocado, and it was mostly avocado).



Snacks-

Low fat dairy-free chocolate frozen yogurt with candy toppings

2 small frozen fruit bars

1 normal size frozen fruit bar

1 slice dairy-free American Cheese

2 portabella mushrooms with spices

2 servings blackberry applesauce


Dinner-

Harvest casserole (made with sweet potato, quinoa, and kale)


Snacks-

1 gluten free blueberry waffle

Grapes

Peach tea


Exercise-

35 minutes dancing

Weigh-in- -0.2 lbs, at least the scale is moving in the right direction. Got weighed later in the day then usual so could have lost a tad more.

The Japanese takeout for lunch could have been healthier but it was a better decision than going to the Chinese buffet. I’m going to stop buying frozen fruit bars, as they have added sugar and I eat too many. Also not buying any more fruit snacks (finished those yesterday). The candy on the frozen yogurt was not too much but I shouldn’t have had the frozen fruit bars too. The lunch and frozen yogurt were not very filling and left me hungry, or else I would have just eaten frozen yogurt as the only snack. Overall too much sugar today. At least I didn’t go crazy on after dinner snacks and got in some exercise.
 
8/7/16

Breakfast-

2 scrambled eggs (150 cal)


Snack-

Unsweetened almond milk (30 cal)

Unsweetened cashew milk (25 cal)


Lunch-

Butternut squash with cinnamon (100 cal)

Goat’s milk yogurt with cinnamon (117 cal)


Snacks-

Vegan pupusa (130 cal)

2 caramel popcorn rice cakes (100 cal)

Green tea with one packet Truvia (erythritol/ stevia mix) (0 cal)

1 slice dairy- free American cheese (80 cal)

Plum- (25 cal)

½ serving Cinnamon hemp bites- (115 cal)

1 ½ servings chocolate hemp bites- (345 cal)



Dinner-

Small tomato (16 cal)

Large tomato (33 cal)

1 serving dairy-free parmesan cheese (90 cal)

2 servings dairy-free ricotta cheese (200 cal)

2 servings dairy- free cheddar cheese (180 cal)


Snacks-

½ serving Cinnamon hemp bites (115 cal)

Mix of dairy free cheese (300 cal)

½ serving cinnamon hemp bites (115 cal)

Frozen fruit bar (60 cal)

Total estimated calories consumed- 2326


Exercise-

20 minutes light dancing (not sure how many calories I burned)


Weigh in- 291.5 lbs (-0.2 lbs)


Was aiming for 2000 calories today. May sound like a lot but I calculated that maintaining my current weight would be around 2400 calories a day and I don’t want to do anything too drastic. Plus that was 2400 to maintain with a sedentary lifestyle, I am also working on getting more active. But came closer to 2400 today. I’ll have less cheese tomorrow, as too many of my calories came from that today. Now that the chips and fruit snacks are out of the house I turned to cheese instead. But I will get better. Going to track my calories for a few more days at least.
 
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