Bringing myself back to life

ewwww its 8pm almost and I just had to had some food because otherwise I know that I would have crashed later on and just eaten crap.
I think I underate today, so now I had about 3 slices of cucumber, italian bread and a small can of tuna pate. I know, I could have lived without the bread but :'( I love my bread and so I had a tiny bit. I am gonna go run soon...
 
You can do this.. you got it. I think one of our first triumphs is admitting our weaknesses and learning how to make better choices. If you have read my diary , I talk about self sabotage.. yuk! I decided that i will no longer do that. But I also realize that I am not perfect. We can't be so strick on ourselves that we feel completely deprived.. then come the crash and burn. So, don't feel bad about the bread. It wasn't the whole loaf..

I know how you feel about wanting to drop the 20 fast to kind of get you going and add a boost to this new found life. Im also going out of town, but im leaving next Friday! Yikes!!!! Its ok.. when I started really looking into my weight and how unhappy I was and this cycle that that is repeated over and over again, I was 199. My highest was 204 and I was 9 months pregnant.. now I just broke to 188 over the weekend and I am pleased with my progress. Im rootin for you hun! I will be happy if I can loose another 8 before I leave but in reality .. well it might not be reality :( ...


Id be carefule with the pate.. high salt in that stuff..

Good luck on your run. Im headed to the gym right now to do my run and weights too
 
hi STOF thanks for the comments on my diary, and I've been reading through yours. I worked in a restaurant for 3 years also.. and while I was there I lost about 45 pounds. I brought water with me.. and packed lots of good things to eat.. salads.. fruits.. anything healthy that I could stuff myself with so that there wasn't room for all the bad stuff lol. Don't worry about having fast food.. or bread or anything else you find yummy. You've made the choice to do things better and are making a huge effort by watching how much you eat. Its a HUGE difference to go from say 800 calories in bread to 100-200(just random numbers :p) I have been at this a few months now and am working mainly on portion control and not eating out like I used to, and working out again.. all the stuff your doing!

Keep up the good work, your doing great:hurray:
 
I had to stop at your journal because I love the title and I love your name. I can definitely relate to it. It's exactly how I feel.

Great journaling so far, girl! You're doing so great with your exercise and food. OMG, I don't know if I could handle it if I worked at a fast food restaurant. They'd have to literally tear down a wall to get me out.
 
Thanks you guys^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You have no idea how much your words mean to me, it helps me out A LOT.


APRIL 7th (day 3) woohooo Im almost over the hump lol

this calls for :party:


Alright moving on. I am still in bed and it is 10.25am, I woke up late but I had a sleepless night. I had fruit when it bacme late around 9pm, and it helped. When I went to bed around 1.30am (was watching a movie) I felt hungry, wth right? But I didnt give up, I forced myself to just lay there until I fell asleep.

I am now about go breakfast and I have no clue what to make but ill fish for something healthy and then I am off for some shopping. I am sad to say I did not exercise yesterday but hey I did in the last past two days in a row so maybe that was my break, today I will, I PROMISSE!!!!!!!!!
I still havent weighed myself so maybe today I will, I dont think I lost anything tho, or if I did it's a pound because I have a lot of water and toxins to lose before the fat.
I think the real results will start to show after 2 weeks.

2.05pm
Went to the mall with my mom had a nice haircut and style, and I brought my slimfast optima bar for emergency cravings but I didnt need it, after about 1.3 hours of walking around we decided to have subway for lunch since its healthy.
Had a 6" whole wheat tuna sub, with veggies a squirt of mayo and mustard and a bottle of water, and no I did not have their delicious cookies (yay for me). I am at home now, and for dinner we have decided to make spinach with light cream, chicken breast and a side of mashed potatos. But in about 10min I will be off to a good run and a good freakin sweat. Later tonight at 8pm I will be going to Detroit with a girlfriend of mine to go see Jay Leno, I really never watched him before but she invited me and I guess the tickets are free so ,WHY NOT! I will NOT eat anything tonight if they suggest going out getting some food. I will have my apple ready to start the battle. I havent weighed myself yet, I think Im really just not ready to just yet. Hopefully tomorrow :)
 
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APRIL 8th

Confession #1: When I got back from the Jay leno show last night, I ate (a lot) I had more mashed potatos, half a chicken breast and some spinach, I felt full after and immediately I regreted it, but wtf? Where was my power and energy to say no? It's like it went for a walk and my addiction jumped at the opportunity, and to be honest I didnt even know what the hell I was doing while i was doing it, it just happend. So bad for me :( Oh and I did not exercise yesterday either, I could give you 199 excuses as to why not, but I won't , I didn't do it coz I got lazy!:banghead::banghead::banghead:

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Alright, let's jump back on the wagon and stop whining.
It's 10.10am and I'm not hungry , should I be eating?
Maybe I will make myself a whole wheat toast (one slice only) with some P&J and a glass of milk and an apple on the side.
Also I weighed myself. The very first time I weighed myself on BOTH my scales on one I was 280 on the other I was 271? *The 271 is old as hell and probably wrong as hell* and then I weighed myself on the 280 one and the number said 274lbs, so that would mean I lost 6lbs already? I donoooo if that is correct ( would love it to be) it is probably just water weight and the toxins that got flushed outta my system.
 
I know you aren't really counting calories, but if you know what you would need to eat to maintain your current weight, and you also know how many calories you are eating, you could see that the math is hard to argue with. It's not just water weight, hun. :)

About your late-night second dinner: it happens. The important thing is to try to be more conscious of your eating. I'd venture a guess that quite a few people on here struggle with some level of food addiction. One of the facets of addiction is that our logic and reasoning centers shut down when we are trying to get a fix. Then, when the deed is done, everything goes back to normal, and we're left wondering how it happened. It's an uphill battle, but it's one we can win if we are proactive about thinking things through carefully before letting ourselves eat. This is another reason for counting calories, I suppose: you are hesitant to eat anything before you know how it will impact your daily progress. It's not a perfect solution, but it could help.

Anyway, take that 6 pound loss and run with it. Whatever the weight is, you're probably doing something right as long as you're eating a balanced diet and drinking enough water.
 
A good thing about counting calories is being able to see exactly what your putting in your mouth. It has changed the way I grocery shop completely. It took a month or so to really get used to it and I am still noticing things I didn't before but its a great tool. It can keep you from going to low in your calories and hitting the brick wall I have spent the last month running into. You might even be able to raise your calories and still be cutting enough to lose 2lbs a week.
 
SakanaUshi said:
I know you aren't really counting calories, but if you know what you would need to eat to maintain your current weight, and you also know how many calories you are eating, you could see that the math is hard to argue with. It's not just water weight, hun. :)

About your late-night second dinner: it happens. The important thing is to try to be more conscious of your eating. I'd venture a guess that quite a few people on here struggle with some level of food addiction. One of the facets of addiction is that our logic and reasoning centers shut down when we are trying to get a fix. Then, when the deed is done, everything goes back to normal, and we're left wondering how it happened. It's an uphill battle, but it's one we can win if we are proactive about thinking things through carefully before letting ourselves eat. This is another reason for counting calories, I suppose: you are hesitant to eat anything before you know how it will impact your daily progress. It's not a perfect solution, but it could help.

Anyway, take that 6 pound loss and run with it. Whatever the weight is, you're probably doing something right as long as you're eating a balanced diet and drinking enough water.
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Well thank you :) that made me feel a little better knowing that I am not the only one who slipped, I am not a freak then :) I have tried to count calories before and yes it worked and it really keeps a person organized but I failed at it, in the past I personally felt that it kept me restricted it was like a ball hitting me in the face everday telling me "ok remeber, you are on a diet and you cant have this this this this and specially not THAT" lol I dont know if you catch my drift and I have nothing against calorie counting, I still do look at the calories I eat and the fat and carbs, I guess in a way I really am counting them Im just not writing it all down because I do carefully look at the calories of something I am about to buy or eat. Maybe it's just me trying to fool my brain in a way, Im trying a diff technique but the same way of doing it( counting calories) lol, I dont know if that makes much sense.

solty said:
A good thing about counting calories is being able to see exactly what your putting in your mouth. It has changed the way I grocery shop completely. It took a month or so to really get used to it and I am still noticing things I didn't before but its a great tool. It can keep you from going to low in your calories and hitting the brick wall I have spent the last month running into. You might even be able to raise your calories and still be cutting enough to lose 2lbs a week.
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Thanks Solty:) I know it takes time to get used to the whole calorie counting thing, I am trying to NOT count them but at the same time COUNT them lol...I think I make more sense up there replying to Sakana. lolz I apologize if I am confusing a bunch of u :nopity: hehe


STILL APRIL 8TH 1.15pm
I am having lunch, a 100% whole wheat tuna sandwich (I love tuna lol and yes I know its high in sodium so I do make sure I only have a little) with a layer of cucumbers, a squirt of mustard and squirt of mayo. Also on the side I have 4 slices of cucumber and 6 baby carrots. WOW and you guys dont know but I HATE CARROTS with my LIFE lol so this is a BIG UP for me....eating those should be interesting.

God, why wasn't I blessed to be a veggie lover lol
 
i'm not a big fan of carrots either, but i like other veggies a lot. my mom got some marzetti's dip for vegetables...i think it's like southern ranch (has a bit of a kick to it) and it makes the carrots a little bit more bearable for me. yet, i can eat any other veggie without any sort of dip or anything. it's weird.
 
QUOTE=Shep03;591672]i'm not a big fan of carrots either, but i like other veggies a lot. my mom got some marzetti's dip for vegetables...i think it's like southern ranch (has a bit of a kick to it) and it makes the carrots a little bit more bearable for me. yet, i can eat any other veggie without any sort of dip or anything. it's weird.[/QUOTE]


Well I managed to eat 4 out of those 6 baby carrots, I made it but it was not a pleasant experience for me. I like veggies like cucumber, tomatoes, potatos, eggplant, spinach, broccoli, onions, mushrooms,etc.
I do hate, celery, carrots , peppers and some others one that I cant think of at the moment, shows how much i know of veggies.

I gotta go pick up my mom from work at 3, so when I return I will go on my treadmill ( how many times has my lazy butt said that so far huh?).
Also I will clean my car today, inside and out, because it is gorgeous outside, even tho it was freakishly snowing yesterday like it was January, ahhhhhh the beautiful Canadian weather.:banghead:
 
7.09PM APRIL 8th (wednesday)

Had dinner at 5.30pm, it was a small dinner but nice and filling. A small steak, a smal baked potato and 3 asparagus and before dinner I had a slimfast optima P&J chocolate bar (130cals each). So I think Im set for the day, hopefully.
Todays menu overlook:

Bf: 100% whole wheat toast (1 slice)
P&J (tsp ea.)
small cup of 2% milk

Lunch: two slices of 100% whole wheat toast
tsp of mayo
half a tsp of mustard
4 thick cucumber slices
9 thin slices of cucumber on the sandwich
can of flaked tuna
4 baby carrots
= Tuna sandwhich with veggies on the side
to drink H2O

Afternoon snack : Apple
Had another snack : Slim fast optima bar

hour later
Dinner: Small steak
Small baked potato
3 asparagus
tsp of ketchup
water to drink

so yea, that was my day. Just did the dishes, so I am about to go down and find my suti cases, I want to let my dinner sit a little and then later on Im gonna jump on my treadmill.
 
Actually, my favorite part about counting calories is that it made it so there was nothing I couldn't eat. Sure, I probably wouldn't eat that 1,200-calorie fudge brownie delight for dessert, but I know exactly what I would need to do if I wanted to eat it (mainly go easy on other things and exercise my butt off for a few days). I can eat chocolate, I can eat ice cream. But I have to count it. If I'm good all day, I usually have enough calories left over for a treat. I don't always eat one, but I know I could if I wanted to.

It's one of those interesting ironies: through discipline and restriction, I find freedom. Counting calories lets me know--not just guess--that I'm doing well. I love that certainty. It means that I can confidently eat that chocolate chip cookie knowing that I earned it.
 
Hey hey fellow Spartan.

Looks like you're doing a good job with this. Dunno if it's your thing, but I'm using fitday.com to track the calories. It only takes a couple mins to input the foods/activities and you can set weight goals and it suggests calories/day. I find that it actually takes my mind off worrying about what I'm eating if that makes any sense at all.

Also, next time you're tempted in McDonalds, remember this;



Can you just imagine what is in that stuff to preserve it for 12 friggin years? I reckon it's some kind of mad alien burger or something. And remember, Ronald McDonald is NOT a nice person!!

Oh btw, I used to hate breakfast and found it difficult to find something too. Now I either stick to good wholemeal break and fruit, yogurt+fruit and nuts and even bran flakes with fruit (the flakes aren't as disgusting as I originally thought). Just a couple ideas.
 
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THanks Fenix ^^^ (yay Im a Spartan)
I do think that at least trying to count them cant kill me , so this morning I did. My breakfast was almost 400cals but that is okey becase I think since I started 4 days ago I always underate and that made me freakishly hungry at night, Ive slipped up the past two nights (specially last night, oh sheesh that was scary). So now I am having lunch at 3pm, i've been cleaning my house for the past 3 hours, I bleached my kitchen lol, it's so clean now I can eat off the floor. I am having

whole wheat sweet onion chicken Teryaki sub (subway) 3inch, because I gave the other half to my brother (im so nice) and also I have a small Italian wedding soup and this is a minus but I did take fruitopia to drink but before you all dice me up, i filled it up with 3/4 ice so really it's not the full cup.

I got work tonight at 6 (eek cross ur fingers for me) ....I will try to have a good dinner and I will bring a apple to work and load up on lots of water. Wohooo I can do thissssss.....
 
I recommend figuring out some specific meal plans for work. Decide beforehand what you're going to eat when you're not hungry, and then stick to it at work. If you're already planning to eat a grilled chicken sandwich and an iced tea, you won't have the dangerous deciding time while you're hungry. You know, the whole "hmmm, what do I want to eat tonight? ooooh, that looks good... and that too!" time? Come up with a few different mix-and-match things you can eat at work so you can mix it up, but decide ahead of time if you can. You can resist the temptations, I know you can.
 
I am back from work. And I must say very proudly that I had a very good time. For dinner at home I thought hmm why not have a small tiny bowl of already made macNcheese because I had to be work in 40min, by the time I get ready and stuff I wont have time to make anything, so I tried to have the bowl, I had half a bowl, it couldn't fit, it just made me feel yukki and heavy so i tossed that aside thinking that I can be strong at work and have something really healthy at work. And I did. I had a whole wheat bun 100% with a (TAn TAN TAN) veggie burger, ThATS ALL! Oh and about 2 bottles of water with that. I am home now, resting in bed and typing this, I am not full and althought I do feel like I can eat more, I can even more feel the determination not to. I feel better today, today was a good day :D
 
Good job! Keep up the great work. Having one good day, makes it easier to build moving forward, so you have more good days.
 
Lido said:
Good job! Keep up the great work. Having one good day, makes it easier to build moving forward, so you have more good days.
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Thank you Lido for dropping by, lol feels good to pass a day with success :)
We can do it.....just keep on pushing, as long as you are trying it's all good!
 
April 10th (Friday)


Woke up at 10am had breakfast.
Little bowl of rice (leftovers from yesterdays dinner which I didnt have coz I was at work), and two small pieces of chicken and a small glass of water. Went and folded some laundry for a good 35-40minutes and then went downstairs and had a 27min jog on my treadmill (burnt 207calories) I made my big fat sweater all wet from sweat woohoo. I then did some crunches, some but crunches and some weights to condition my muscles a little. Got a big ass cramp in my "six pack" ha ha so then I stopped.

It felt so good to run...I tossed aside a lot of energy and stress. I feel lighter on my feet and refreshed specially since I hadn't exercised for the past two days.

I am happy! wow....I'm happy.


Ps: I went on this calorie counter thing on google and it said I should eat 2654 calories and burn 500...that seems like a lot of calories and I know for a fact that I am not eating over 2000 calories a day, is that right. Can someone help me with this please.

I am 5'8, 22 years old, female (duh!!), 274lbs currenty.
 
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