Breaking the habit of a lifetime!

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Lylitu

Lylitu

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I'm back.
Again.
Just like the time before, and the time before that.

I never keep anything up. I started a bullet journal this year. Lasted a week.
I started couch to 5k. Made it into week 2.

So I'm back but with reservations.
I don't believe I can keep it up.
But who knows, I might just surprise myself.

So here goes nothing.

I'm tracking on MFP. This I have done in the past successfully to an extent. I'm also taking on board a lot of slimming world concepts, such as replacing elements on my meal with vegetables. Snacking on 'free' or 'superfree' foods.

And I've restarted c25k!

So here we go! Again!
 
Hello hun, welcome back! God, we've been here forever haven't we! When will we get it right?! C25k is quite good isn't it! I ran my first 5k using that but don't think I could run to the shops now!!
 
Sunflower_ said:
Hello hun, welcome back! God, we've been here forever haven't we! When will we get it right?! C25k is quite good isn't it! I ran my first 5k using that but don't think I could run to the shops now!!
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I did a 5k on no training at all (gung up at that!) And it was probably the biggest mistake ever haha
Doing pretty muddy in September and I'm a bridesmaid in March so I've got a few things to hopefully keep me on track!
 
Rebel lee said:
At least your willing to try again.
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I've never completely given up. I've always been adamant that i wouldn't get to my largest again, and I haven't at least!
It's so easy to just be fat and complacent. I often think how I could just stay this way. But a little part of me nags and nags and then I wear something and don't like how fat I look and that little part grows and grows and I'm back again!!
 
Good for you hon. One thing we can't do, even though it is soooo much easier is give up! I'm glad that you're back :)
 
Ate over my MFP calories yesterday but still stayed well below my maintenance. Plus we did a run so my net calories were less.

Today I've been pretty good at being bad!

Decided spur of the moment to go to Zizzis for lunch, they have the most amazing vegan menu.
We shared two mains and a desert. Which yes is really really bad when I'm meant to be being good. But my breakfast and tea were quite low calorie and I took the dog (borrowed from my in-laws) for a walk/jog/sprint.
And I've been sat here with a packet of oreos for a few hours that have yet to be opened!

Breakfast: veggie sausage, onions, tomatoes and mushrooms cooked with no oil (I should get some fry light!)
Lunch: half a vegan margherita, half lentil ragu, half chocolate and praline torte
Tea: rice, Linda McCartney pulled chicken, peas, sweetcorn, cauliflower and seasoning
Snacks: 4 squares dark chocolate, half a punnet cherries
Total: 1600
 
Lylitu said:
Breakfast: veggie sausage, onions, tomatoes and mushrooms cooked with no oil (I should get some fry light!)
Lunch: half a vegan margherita, half lentil ragu, half chocolate and praline torte
Tea: rice, Linda McCartney pulled chicken, peas, sweetcorn, cauliflower and seasoning
Snacks: 4 squares dark chocolate, half a punnet cherries
Total: 1600
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Looks like a good amount of food for only 1600 cals
 
Rebel lee said:
Looks like a good amount of food for only 1600 cals
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Actually was more like 1700. I forgot to add my cherries!!
Breakfast was less than 150 calories because so much of it was veg, and I replaced some of my usual rice in my tea for cauliflower to pull it down even more but still keep me full.

The Zizzis was best part of 1000 calories though so I definitely won't be making a habit of that!!
 
Lylitu said:
The Zizzis was best part of 1000 calories though so I definitely won't be making a habit of that!!
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Yea that is a pretty high one hit punch.
I love chinese so i have to limit that to every few weeks or so. Every day would b a killer. Even trying my best to stay away from carbs i know the cals there are just insane. Now if i could just make it past the sushi bar it wouldnt b bad at all.
 
Well will power went out of the window today!!
The oreos are now open :banghead:

Should stay around 1700 for the day though. Maybe a little lower net if I take the temporary dog out later.

In fact to be honest I'm going to try to not eat anything else tonight because I've eaten plenty!

Breakfast: one slice whole meal toast with mushrooms chopped tomatoes and two veggie sausages
Brunch: chopped apple and banana
Lunch: leftover veggie chicken rice and veg from yesterday
Tea: cauliflower couscous with new potatoes quorn and peas
Snacks: oreos, raspberry ruffle, few forkfuls of OHs noodles (because yes I did track stolen noodles haha)
 
Lylitu said:
Well will power went out of the window today!!
The oreos are now open :banghead:

Should stay around 1700 for the day though. Maybe a little lower net if I take the temporary dog out later.

In fact to be honest I'm going to try to not eat anything else tonight because I've eaten plenty!

Breakfast: one slice whole meal toast with mushrooms chopped tomatoes and two veggie sausages
Brunch: chopped apple and banana
Lunch: leftover veggie chicken rice and veg from yesterday
Tea: cauliflower couscous with new potatoes quorn and peas
Snacks: oreos, raspberry ruffle, few forkfuls of OHs noodles (because yes I did track stolen noodles haha)
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Just call it an oops day and move on. Those cravings are bad once they dig themselves in.
 
Well done tracking even the "stolen" food - honesty is what will get you to your goal. Also: maybe eat a small symbolic evening meal to signal to your body that sweets are no substitute for meals.
 
I think it's story time...

*possible mental health trigger*

Back in January I decided that I was going to lose weight again. For once and for all. I had lost 11lbs the year before and gained 14lbs back. Plus my friend gets married next year and she's lost loads of weight so far and is looking great. I'll admit I was jealous because even though I was overweight, she was always more so.

Anyway.

I did pretty good, lost 8lbs in January from 15st 7lbs to 14st 13lbs. And then shit hit the fan. Doesn't it always?!
I got a phone call from my grandma telling me my grandad was in hospital and dying.
A few days later he passed, I was having a difficult time with this as my grandma and dad refused to tell me where he was so I couldn't visit. Apparently it would have been too distressing for me.

Then came his funeral. In the run up my relationship with my dad got a lot better actually. The last 10 years he's not been very present and if I ever wanted to see him, other than 3 occasions (yes I counted) I've had to go see him, no matter my own health or circumstances. I was diagnosed with a type of lung cancer at 18 and a recurrence at 19. He came to visit me once at home and once in hospital.
However in planning the funeral he leant on me for support and advice and I guess I got my hopes up.
The day of the funeral he was odd, not quite himself. But I put it down to grief and booze. I also found out that he was taking waaaay too many painkillers so we had a good chat about that before I left.
One month later he was totally off the rails. Posting incoherent messages on Facebook. To the point where I had colleagues asking me if he was alright.
One day it all came to a head. I left work early (really big deal I work in the nhs and you only call in sick if you're dead sort of culture) and he wasn't answering his phone.
Rocked up at his house and he had completely lost the plot. Ranting and raving and making no sense. The odd sentence coming out about suicide. Long story short he was sectioned.
And I've spent the last few months running around after him. It tiring and draining. And unfortunately I'm his next of kin so it all falls on me!

Latest update is that he's now had a kidney biopsy because they think he has cancer on top of everything else!!!!

So that's where I've been. And I put on almost as much as I lost. But I'm back to 5lbs lost! And I've heard nothing from my Dad since the biopsy, not even a message about his father's day card.

I'm not in a particularly good place emotionally but with my husband's support I'm getting there.
 
I'm really sorry you're dealing with all that. It's very much not cool that you had to run around for someone who wasn't there to support you when you needed support and isn't there now, especially someone who's your parent. I don't know if you're interested in similar experiences from internet strangers (and the way they dealt with them) but if you are Captain Awkward is a great resource. All of which is to say: kudos for getting back up again.
 
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