Better Second Life Diary

Well I was having an excellant day...was being the operative word cuz I'm so mad at my husband right now. Men are so frustrating sometimes. But anyway Yea I've noticed more energy but not all day. Like now instead of not having any I get spurts of it. Although today I felt a WHOLE lot better because I took some iron yesterday so I think that all will improve this coming week as my body adjusts to being more active. And on a good note I'm not in the kitchen stuffin my face cuz I'm mad :) In fact I'm about to go do my exercise and work off some steam, channel it into something positive, lol.
 
Meditation for today

Recovery Meditations ~ Service ~ One Day at a Time ~ September 5, 2008
:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 5, 2008

~ Service ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

SERVICE

"The world is full of willing people;
some willing to work ... the rest
willing to let them."

Robert Frost

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

There is a time when we first come into
program when we need to just sit back
and receive. We come in a desperate
state, empty of love and acceptance,
with nothing to guide us and no place to
go. We learn to feel our emptiness and
to accept resting on others and being
supported.

Then we begin to "get it." The tingling
excitement of hope is aroused in us. A
source of power to live is discovered
inside of ourselves.

At that point, a change must take place
if we are to continue our success. While
we will always remain a receiver, we
must move into the ring of the
givers. It requires a new role of
courage and boldness to take this
step. Fear of what to say, how to sound,
and quality of performance must be
overcome. This is called Step Twelve.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

God, grant me the courage to take Step
Twelve, however imperfectly, to grow in
my ability to share what I have so
generously been given.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
 
Hey My Friend!

douknowjello said:
And on a good note I'm not in the kitchen stuffin my face cuz I'm mad :) In fact I'm about to go do my exercise and work off some steam, channel it into something positive, lol.
Click to expand...

:hurray:Good for you!!! You did not EAT out of FRUSTRATION!

As to taking the iron supplements, that's a good idea. I'm on prescribed iron and I tell you I really need it. As we get used to this program and lose weight, our energy level should rise. Yours should be up because you exercise.

Husbands can be a pain at times, but they do come through for us too.

I admire the exercise you do! What exercises? Do you walk? I'd like to incorporate exercise into my daily routine.


XOXO Berta
 
Honestly I don't do enough exercise but with my weight being SO much, 332 pounds and I'm only 5' tall, I'm just doing what I can for now. I'm only able to do ten minutes a day normally its walking. I've used my stationary bike I just got a few times but its very uncomfortable right now because I gain alot of weight in my stomach and it's the ones that have a seat and your legs go out in front of you. I've SO thought about returning it but it took so long to put it together and I'd have to take it all back apart. Plus if I exchanged it for the upright one I'm so big and the seats are so small I'm sure it'd be uncomfortable too. So I figured keep it and as I lose weight it'll get easier to use. Hope I'm making the right choice so I didn't waste money, lol. I have a treadmill too but I've gotten so big that I step off the thing on each side so for now I'm just walking outside until I lose some weight. Anyway sorry I got on a huge ramble here. Hope you're having a good day so far :)
 
Day 23 has been hard. Hope I didn't take in too many carbs. I am trying to stay below 60 grams per day, but I think I went over today.

My cravings were out of this world today. So many stresses, but at least I didn't overeat the way I used to. I caught myself in time, thank God.

Why does this have to be so dang hard?
 
Recovery Meditation for my day 25

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 7, 2008

~ HONESTY ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

"If it is not right do not do it;
if it is not true do not say it."

Marcus Aurelius

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

Honesty of all sorts is important, but
honesty with ourselves is
foundational. With everything that was
in me, I resisted the notion that I had
an eating disorder. Everybody else had a
problem with my eating, not me. But when
I finally faced the painful truth, I
began the journey to freedom, from not
merely overeating, but from all the
underlying bondage that had caused me to
stuff my feelings.

The same thing happened when I
acknowledged that my relationship with
God was in need of correction. Sure, my
whole life was a mess, but that had to
be God’s fault, right? I had to own up
to the fact that God did not fail me; I
had failed myself. I had to be open and
receptive to His way. What power comes
from honesty! I used to be afraid of
truth, but truth is becoming my friend.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

Today I will not let myself hide
from truth simply to be comfortable;
I will use truth as a tool for freedom.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
 
Hello there!!!

douknowjello said:
Honestly I don't do enough exercise but with my weight being SO much, 332 pounds and I'm only 5' tall, I'm just doing what I can for now. I'm only able to do ten minutes a day normally its walking. :driving: Anyway sorry I got on a huge ramble here. Hope you're having a good day so far :)
Click to expand...

Hey Lisa,

How are you today? I hope this post finds you well!

You are doing great! 10 minutes is better than nothing and you DO whatever exercise you can. I admire you. I'm thinking of getting the Nintendo Wii Fit to help me. I tend to isolate and don't mind doing exercises in the house. I wonder if anyone else has tried it?

I have been fighting my cravings big time. I'm so glad I had meetings to attend to get me through them. If not, I may have been back into the food. As it is, food occupies most of my thoughts. But I'm learning not to give in.

I plan to do a bit a walking later.

You are the best!

XOXO
Berta:seeya::iagree:
 
RobertaLee said:
I'm thinking of getting the Nintendo Wii Fit to help me. I tend to isolate and don't mind doing exercises in the house. I wonder if anyone else has tried it?
Click to expand...

My cousin and her kids have one and do all kind of stuff on it...yoga, dance, aerobics. I've seen them do it once and it looks fun. Also the girls I work with at work won't stop talking about it and want one really bad after another staff brought one in. Unfortunately our company won't let them just split it 4 ways and most of the girls don't have enough money to buy it alone. Stupid trivial stuff, lol. Wish I was rich, I'd just get 'em one.

RobertaLee said:
I have been fighting my cravings big time. I'm so glad I had meetings to attend to get me through them. If not, I may have been back into the food. As it is, food occupies most of my thoughts. But I'm learning not to give in.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I used to have mad cravings all the time too but once I got my blood sugar under control it got so much easier. But I still get them and when I do I'm not as strong as you. I can fight them at first but they keep coming back and eventually I cave. I read somewhere that cravings only last ten minutes so if you can stay busy and outlast it you're good. Wow that SO does not apply to me, lol. I craved hashbrowns for a week once...longest I ever held out :X lol. Anyway I'm glad you're coping so well and you are doing awesome :)
 
RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 8, 2008

~ DREAMS ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

"You’ve got to have a dream in order to
make a dream come true."

Oscar Hammerstein II

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

Since first hearing this saying many
years ago, I have come to believe in
it. I have always had the dream of being
happy, healthy, helpful and whole, but
it wasn’t until I found this program (or
it found me) that I am learning I can
have all of these things. Through the
program I am being shown a way to
achieve them.

When I first joined the program, I just
wanted to lose weight. But as I continue
to understand and learn about the
program, my dream is slowly coming
true. It’s a slow path for me right now,
but as long as I keep the dream alive in
my mind, heart and soul, I know I'll be
able to accomplish it one day at a time!

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I ask my Higher Power to keep me on the
right path toward my dream of being
happy, healthy, helpful and whole. And
right now, in this moment, I am grateful
for my dream and for the opportunity to
fulfill it.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~




Recovery Meditations are available in
color and calendar form at the URL
above. Please feel free to print them
out.

"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

Recovery Meditations ~ One Day at a Time
is sent daily to all members of the
Recovery Group community. It is also
available by subscription to those
working a Twelve Step recovery program.
Please feel free to pass on to
others. Copyright permission is freely
given by TRG.

To subscribe, please send a blank e-mail to:
RecoveryMeditations-Subscribe-Request@Lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
 
Hey Lisa

douknowjello said:
Hey Roberta :) Just stopping by to say hi and see check in. How ya doin?
Click to expand...

:waving:Hey my dear friend,

Sorry I have not been on lately. I'm a bit down because the cravings are out of this world. I went a bit over on Saturday and Sunday and I have not lost one ounce since. This could be because I reached a plateau. I'm a bit down..attending meetings on-line when I can. I am touched by your concern though. I really needed to hear from someone today.:willy_nilly: I;m at day 27 on the diet. I have not eaten sugar or white flour in 27 days! I should be happy about that. But I'm not.

You're my angel.

Now enough about me, how are you doing? I found some sugar free Oreo cookies. They are 16g of carb for 2, but I carry 1 in my emergency snack pack so I get only 8. They are delicious.

I feel a bit better now having talked to you. I'll send you my e-mail addy by PM if I can do that.

So many hugs!:hurray:

XOXOXO

Berta
 
Day 27-posting recovery meditation

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 9, 2008

~ CONNECTION ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

We all have God's phone number but the
only number we tend to use is 911. We
only call in an emergency instead of
calling just for daily connection with
God.

Mary Manin Morrissey

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

When I first came into the program, my
goal was to lose weight. It’s still my
goal, but now it’s not the main focus of
my program of recovery.

I’ve learned that my spiritual and
emotional fitness are every bit as
important as my physical fitness. In
fact, I’m finding that for me the
spiritual aspect is the most
important. If my relationship to the God
of my understanding is in order, then
everything else seems to fall into
place. If I leave my Higher Power out of
my life, then everything falls apart.

There’s an old program saying, "If you
feel apart from God, then who moved?"
Whenever I feel like God is a million
miles away, I know it’s because I moved
away from Him, not the other way
around. When I am feeling separated from
God, I see my disease of compulsion
start to take over. That’s why it’s very
important to me to maintain a conscious
contact with my Higher Power. If I let
things get too far out of hand and I
start to move away from Him, then I need
to pray. But my intention is to keep in
constant touch with God so that a
spiritual emergency isn’t the only
reason I check in with Him.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will do all I can on a daily basis to
connect with my Higher Power.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
 
RobertaLee said:
:waving:Hey my dear friend,

Sorry I have not been on lately. I'm a bit down because the cravings are out of this world. I went a bit over on Saturday and Sunday and I have not lost one ounce since. This could be because I reached a plateau. I'm a bit down..attending meetings on-line when I can. I am touched by your concern though. I really needed to hear from someone today.:willy_nilly: I;m at day 27 on the diet. I have not eaten sugar or white flour in 27 days! I should be happy about that. But I'm not.

You're my angel.

Now enough about me, how are you doing? I found some sugar free Oreo cookies. They are 16g of carb for 2, but I carry 1 in my emergency snack pack so I get only 8. They are delicious.

I feel a bit better now having talked to you. I'll send you my e-mail addy by PM if I can do that.

So many hugs!:hurray:

XOXOXO

Berta
Click to expand...


That's ok but I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time...been there for sure. Wish I had a solution but nothing ever stopped my cravings once they started but I did notice something. I used to use the ketosis test strips cuz I was doing Atkins and every time my cravings were at their worst those strips turned almost purple black...the range is supposed to be tan to pink to like a mauve, lol. So I do wonder if it wasn't messing with my blood sugars. Just wondering if you're body isn't causing the cravings cuz it's missing something? Are you making sure you eat enough?

Oh and I got your pm, I'll pm you back mine in a sec...I'm exhausted from working since last night and class and then so busy no sleep so I'm very scattered at the moment, lol.

Oh I also meant to ask, I don't know what you're ok with having on your diet but I do know of some low carb desserts using splenda. I don't know if that would help you or just make it worse but let me know if you need any substitutes. Hang in their girlie :) And don't worry about the slip ups....you can count on those happening for sure.
 
Meditation for my day 28

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 10, 2008

~ FAITH ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

"Faith has to work twenty-four hours a
day in and through us, or we perish."

The Big Book, page 16

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

The Big Book states that if we are
rigorously honest we will receive
release from our addictive
compulsions. Working the Steps is what
keeps us honest. I didn’t believe this
with my whole heart and I lived within
my disease. My sponsor told me to just
"do it" and see what happened; to "act
as if it were true."

What is faith? It is the belief that if
we stay close to our Higher Power we
will be where we need to be. It is the
guarantee that we do not walk through
this world or this disease alone. Faith
requires commitment to a belief that is
greater than what we can see, hear,
taste or smell. It’s knowing that there
is a God who loves us as we are, and Who
will journey through this life with
us. And faith requires that we act on
that knowledge. That is faith.

I did the Steps and the compulsion was
removed. A miracle? Absolutely! I had
faith that the program would
work. Putting the faith to work by
diving into the Steps released me from
the grips of the disease, one day at a
time. The beauty of the program is faith
in a Higher Power who will walk us
through one hour, one day and one
miracle at a time.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will act as if there is a God who
loves me.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~





Recovery Meditations are available in
color and calendar form at the URL
above. Please feel free to print them
out.

"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

Recovery Meditations ~ One Day at a Time
is sent daily to all members of the
Recovery Group community. It is also
available by subscription to those
working a Twelve Step recovery program.
Please feel free to pass on to
others. Copyright permission is freely
given by TRG.
 
Hey Roberta, that's hilarious that we just swapped states...when did you move cuz I wonder if we passed eachother on the road? lol Anyway gotta run as usual, chem class this morning. I'll try to check in on ya later. ~Lisa
 
Day 30!!!!! Meditation

RECOVERY MEDITATIONS
One Day at a Time
September 12, 2008

~ LOVE ~

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

"Love yourself first and everything else
falls into line. You really have to
love yourself to get anything done in
this world."

Lucille Ball

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:

It took me a long time to learn what
love truly means. I thought love
included pleasing others, saying "yes"
when I meant "no," swallowing my true
feelings and putting myself last. What I
didn’t know is that I was practicing
resentment, anger, fear, jealousy and
everything but love. I could not love
others because I did not love myself.

Then I decided to take care of myself
first. I considered no one but me, took
care of myself, (or so I thought) while
actually alienating myself from those
close to me. I ate compulsively to tame
the self-loathing I felt inside. And I
loathed myself because I did not treat
myself with real love and kindness.

Today I know that loving myself must
come first. If I love myself, I am
better able to love everyone in my life
because I do things from a place of
honesty. If I treat myself with respect,
I treat others with respect. Everyone
wins when I love myself enough to accept
myself, flaws and all.

ONE DAY AT A TIME . . .

I will ask my Higher Power for the
ability to accept and love myself for where I
am this day, knowing I am a work in progress like a
tree that grows from self-care and nurturing.

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~




Recovery Meditations are available in
color and calendar form at the URL
above. Please feel free to print them
out.

"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

Recovery Meditations ~ One Day at a Time
is sent daily to all members of the
Recovery Group community. It is also
available by subscription to those
working a Twelve Step recovery program.
Please feel free to pass on to
others. Copyright permission is freely
given by TRG.

To subscribe, please send a blank e-mail to:
RecoveryMeditations-Subscribe-Request@Lists.TheRecoveryGroup.org
 
Dang missed you by an hour...was eating my subway sandwhich. Well you must be busy the last few days...hope everything is goin good. Last night a few of us were all on and went up to the chatroom which was fun so if we're on same time again sometime we should meet up :) Talk to you later~Lisa
 
Hey there Robertalee :)

I've been reading up on your journal and I have to say, the mediation passages are really sweet.

How are things going? I'm Mandie, by the way!

Take care :) *hug*
 
Robertalee, first, let me say that this is the first time I checked out your diary, but I'll be a regular here from now on. Don't lose faith, you're going the right direction!!

People don't always understand addictions, regardless of what they are. Most who are addicted, never even realize it themselves. Even fewer people seem to really get that food can be a tougher addiction than ANY of the other ones. I mean, think about it, could a heroin addict have just a smaller portion of heroin? Of course not!! But we all need to eat...

My mom was a drug addict (pain killers), my dad is a recovering alcoholic. I have lost two uncles to alcohol related illnesses, and both my brother and sister are well on their way to becoming alcoholics.

I chose not to be a drinker, but found solace in food and cigarettes instead. I have been cigarette free now for a month, and I'm losing weight (slowly, it has it's ups and downs). I'm not sure where I got the willpower to do it. Every day is another battle. Some days I win, other days... well you get the picture. As long as I win more than I lose... So far, the cigarettes have been easier than the food!!!

I just want to tell you, if you fall, come on back here, we'll help you get back up! There are good people here.
 
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