Back... with a Vengeance!

Amunet

Amunet

New member
Hello everyone!
I've been gone for a while b/c well... I went back to my old ways unfortunately.
I hate admitting to it.. I hate that I went back to my old ways. It's embarrassing, it's shameful, but if I don't admit to it now I just know I'm going to get bigger and bigger and that just can't happen. I can NOT allow myself to get any fatter!!
For the past month I've just been shoveling food into my mouth and tonight.. I ate so much I almost made myself vomit from it. It's like... I'm not even hungry but just b/c there's food.. I need to eat it. I'm not sure if it's stress/emotional eating or not, but it stops now.

At the beginning of the year (actually a few months before that)... I was SO sure I was going to be 50bs lighter by my birthday and well.. that didn't happen. My birthday came and went, and here I am.. still overweight and totally unhappy about it.
And as I get older and older (only 27 but feel 80 right now)... being overweight is going to hurt my chances of getting pregnant... and if god permits... I would love to have alot of kids (3 is great.. 5 is perfect :D).
I need to lose weight for myself, and for my future family.

No more excuses. It's going to be hell at first.... pure hell. I hate sweating, I hate getting hot... hate struggling to do something, but I NEED to do this. NO MORE EXCUSES!
As before, I'm still not going to restrict the foods I want, BUT I will portion it. That worked for me before so long as I keep it up and dangit! I'm going to!

My bf's sister is having a wedding in June and I want to be in at least a size 14 by then! 14 would be awesome, but 12 would be even better!!!
I'm in a tight 18 right now so I have ALOT of work to do.

I'll be starting tomorrow with Turbo Jam.
As soon as I clear out this old love seat in here and replace it with the one in the living room. I'll be moving our treadmill into the LR and start on it as well. 30min or longer depending how I'm feeling physically. I hope that will work though b/c we have been having problems with the wiring and power shutting off (house is old and crappy)...


So anyway.... I'm back and I'm staying this time. I can't let myself get any bigger than this.
I'm back up to 228lbs and.... I don't want to get any bigger than this. I MUST lose weight.
 
Oh I do have questions!

I have a problem with my stomach area.
I have what I like calling a double gut.
It's like... from right below my breasts to my bellybutton is one pooch. And from my bellybutton to right above crotch is another pooch.
Just imagine a girl in profile.. and her stomach would sorta resemble a capital B.
My stomach isn't one big round area.. it's in 2 sections.

Anywho... how on earth do I get rid of the Lower part.. the part below my bellybutton. Oh I have no problem making it bigger! But I know I'm going to have trouble getting it to go away.
 
Yeah I realized what I was asking after I had asked it.
I can't just focus on one area.. it's impossible to target just one area to lose fat in.
I'm gonna have to just hope it goes away as I lose fat from all over :)
Thank you for the reply!
 
Np.... just sharing what works for me. It's amazing how your body changes as you work out faithfully. :)

Hv fun walking / joggin!
 
I did things like lunges, leg raises, crunches and etc with my trainer and he said that things like that work different parts of the abs, so I do those constantly because I was 3 lbs heavier than you at my highest weight and I was starting to get that as well. I now have one smaller roll just below the waist that I'm working on. And like pinky suggested, walking is also great for it....I noticed my stomach was flattest when I was walking the 45 minutes to and from the gym. I stopped doing it and now my stomach is not as flat and I am trying to walk more. And cardio makes a difference too.

Good luck, and I believe you can do it!
 
Thanks!

Welp... it's Sept 26th 12:40pm right now. At 1pm I'm gonna start TJ.
I probably won't be doing any treadmill until next week, at least I hope. Not sure if I can convince bf to help me move out the old love seat and all that mess heh.
As usual I know I'm gonna have trouble drinking so much water. I'm just not a big drinker. Maybe once I start sweating though that will chance, but I wanna drink at least a 16oz bottle every day before I start up with exercises :D

So I'm off for now and will be back after I get done!
 
Alrighty! So I did Turbo Jam Learn & Burn today!
And dangit if I'm still uncoordinated! rofl
Not as much as I was the very first time I did it way back when... but still enough for me to just sorta march in place trying to do what they're doing :p
I know I'll pick it up though... I just need to keep doing it :)

I sweated a bucket full though! That program will definitely work you out! I can't wait til I can actually get into the real exercising parts.
 
Hi Amunet,
Welcome back to the WLF and good for you for creating a new diary and taking control.

I hear a lot of motivation in your post - a lot of determination - but I'm also reading a lot walls:

It's going to be hell at first.... pure hell.
Click to expand...
I hate sweating
Click to expand...
I hate getting hot
Click to expand...
I hate struggling to do something
Click to expand...
I'm still not going to restrict the foods I want
Click to expand...
As usual I know I'm gonna have trouble drinking so much water.
Click to expand...
I'm just not a big drinker.
Click to expand...

I can honestly say, I was where you are. I did not like getting hot. Getting sweaty. Did not drink a lot of water. Did not want to restrict my diet, simply was going to control portions.

There comes a time when you're serious enough, that you will EMBRACE getting sweaty, getting hot, watching not only your portions but what you eat as well.

Every time I walked, I told myself in the beginning - I'm walking my butt off - literally. I wanted it gone!

Trying to simply "watch my portions" was not good enough. (Who knew an entire can of Pringles potato chips was not a single serving? Neither is half a can come to think of it) ;) Without counting calories, I was surprised how many hidden calories I was consuming. All the time.

You hit the nail on the head when you said:
So anyway.... I'm back and I'm staying this time. I can't let myself get any bigger than this.
I'm back up to 228lbs and.... I don't want to get any bigger than this. I MUST lose weight.
Click to expand...

You CAN do this - but it starts with reevaluating your thoughts on the things that will help get you there. Namely - exercise and calorie control.

Good for you for taking this first step towards reaching your goal!
 
I use fitday.com to help me be accountable for my calorie intake. It also helps me to make sure I'm getting enough vitamins. Maybe you can use it to see how you're doing on calories everyday. Oh, and avoid Subway!! There sandwiches are freakin' loaded with sodium! (sodium=evil!)

Good luck and we'll be here to listen and to help. When you feel like giving up---come here and we'll kindly kick your behind back into gear! :)
 
Oh Don't worry!
When I say I'm going to be portioning what I eat... I don't just mean guesstimating and thinking that just b/c it's less means that it's ok.
I have my nice little book with food portions and how many calories everything is. I write out what I eat and how much I ate of it.

I'm aiming towards about 1600calories a day right now. Once I start getting used to that, I'll bring that down to 1500, then 1400 til I can hopefully get to 1200 calories a day.
I really don't eat that bad now, I just eat too much.

As for all the other stuff I said.. hate getting sweaty and hot heh.. well.. That's not going to change for a while but it's something I will overcome :)
 
Oh man... it's almost 3am and I can feel my sides starting to hurt already.
First time I tryed Turbo Jam, the next day my sides were SO sore that I didn't even want to sneeze b/c it hurt so bad.
I really hope that isn't going to happen this time b/c I really want to keep up with the exercising tomorrow and am sorta afraid if I stop (that's not a rest day)... then I won't start back up.. ya know?

Well.. guess it shows that the workouts really work :p heh... Just wish that the newbie part Learn & Burn had upper body stretches included. As it is now, it just jumps you right into the exercises with minimal stretching at the end.


Oh and I had about 1500-1700 calories today :D YAY! It wasn't hard though. I think my overeating has screwed up my stomach. Whatever I eat I've been getting instant acid reflux so my appetite isn't really all that big. Hope that goes away eventually though :)
 
Go get vids! I'm sure you can probably find some good cheap ones. It'll just give you some variety to your exercising :)

And *nodnod*
I'm heading to bed now... I hope I can just sleep off the soreness.... god I hope so!!!
 
Oh man! I remember when I started drinking water, it was hard to drink even 16 oz a day. But now I'm drinking 1-2 L a day. And I hated sweating and being hot and everything like that, but...I've come to get a weird satisfaction out of dripping sweat. Yeah it's gross, but at the same time you know that you're actually making an impact.

Anyways. I really really hope that you do well! We have about the same amount to lose (I started at 221, with 225 being my highest before I FREAKED out like mad), so more likely than not I'll be checking in and hassling you (if you don't mind, that is) with relative frequency. Work hard tomorrow! I will be!
 
I think I need people hasseling me to keep me on track heh.

But no exercising today unfortunatly.
Woke up.. and my sides were just a little sore, but not much... HOWEVER... My lower back is totally sore and is killing me right now... :rolleyes:
I've had back problems before (really bad back spasms) and I don't want want to push my body (specially my back) to maybe injuring it. Rather be safe than sorry.

*sigh*
Hate that I can't exercise though. I went to bed SO excited and as corny as it is.. actually fantasized about how I was just gonna work it out hardcore the next day and blahblahblah :p rofl..... Now I'm back to feeling like an 80yr old helpless woman :p
 
Do you think you could manage a walk? Even if it's only 30 minutes, it's something. It'll burn some calories, and it's relatively lower impact. Anyways. Just don't get sad and eat a pint of ice cream (that's what I always did...and that's why I'm fatter than I used to be).
 
Oh I just stayed in bed all day
My back is feeling alot better now, but still sore and a bit stiff.
I know this feeling will almost be gone tomorrow though. And even if it isn't, I'm still doing my exercise!

So... my eating day is over. Just gone done with a nice slice of sun dried tomato & basil french bread (YUM).... and today I've had between 1600-1700 calories today :) YAY.

I'm gonna take my measurements tomorrow (if I remember :p heh) and post them up.


Oh I watched Biggest Loser tonight. Just made me realize why I love the show. It's so inspirational!
It made me take out my shirt I want to fit into when I get smaller and hang it up on the wall.
The shirt is an XL still, but it's one of those teeny tiny girly type of shirts that only look good one teeny tiny girls :p heh
I pulled that sucker on just to see how I fit in it now and I'm so glad there wasn't a mirror around.
My gut was pokin out, my big flabby arms were gooing out of the small sleeves.
I will look good in that shirt one day though! And I'll have my size 14 or 12 jeans to go right along with it!
 
I hope your aching will be gone soon. It's dangerous to exercise when your body is still recovering. U dun wana worsen what's already in pain. U can choose to lower your calories instead of exercising.

Ha.... I can't wait to pull out those smaller sizes I bought ages ago and wear them too! But well, that's still a long way to go. :p
 
Oh man.. I am struggling BIG TIME right now. (gonna be rambling a bit about nothing to keep my mind off of it)
I'm so used to eating late at night around this time and I'm just getting the urge to tear up the kitchen right now.
It's taking all my willpower to keep out of there.
*sigh*......
Why's it so hard to kick a bad habit! I guess this isn't as bad as quitting smoking though.
Now THAT was rough but something I did do... so hopefully this won't be so hard :p heh

Hmm... what to talk about.

Oh I was thinking about what my short term goal should be. I think that might help me stick with this and not get sidetracked like I usually do.
Maybe get into a size 16 by Xmas? Or... I dunno... any suggestions would be great :)
 
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