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Avyeon

New member
Decided to go answer the questions from the pinned thread here.

  1. What is your current height and weight? 167cm, 76,5kg (just under 5'6, 168.6lbs)
  2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be? 50-55kg (110-120lbs) or below 60kg (133lbs) in general.
  3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now? Realistically I'd like to be in the low to mid 60kg range.
  4. Why do you want to lose weight? I want to have a better self-image, feel happier with myself & have a better relationship with food.
  5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event? Not specifically, but I got into a relationship last week. It's with someone I haven't met IRL yet (different country), but they are visiting in September. I'd love to be more attractive to him.
  6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals? BED & Bulimia, for sure.
  7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem? Because I've always had weight issues, I'm just now trying to do something about it in a healthy way.
  8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight? The biggest change in binge urges started when I started eating more varied. Really did wonders!
  9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight? I lost a lot of weight in a short period of time by starving myself throughout the day and then binging & purging through the night. I also took about 10 laxatives a day. I still take laxatives, but usually its 2 every other day.
  10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back? Obvious reasons I suppose. BED is a bitch.
  11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work? Same answer as 9.
  12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time? Absolutely. I like MyFitnessPal the most as it allows you to scan the barcode of the products you're using. It's been incredibly helpful.
  13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook? I don't cook at home often, sadly. However, I just got paid and I'm planning to do a lot more cooking. I love making rice dishes & I love trying new things. I tried oatmeal the other day and I really enjoyed it.
  14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go? I'd order takeaway... Maybe once / week or once every 2 weeks. I have a favourite ramen restaurant, sometimes I'll order Dominos, and there's a French taco restaurant that my brother & I really enjoy (just massive burritos with meat, sauce & fries).
  15. What are your three favorite foods? Beef steak, sandwiches & chocolate.
  16. What are your three favorite restaurants? Streetfood by Han (the ramen place), KFC & Dominos.
  17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food? 1) Definitely buy less pre-packaged convenience foods. Like instant ramen, pizzas or microwaved meals. I should also just use more fresh foods in general. 2) Currently I eat a lot of frozen foods (like fruit, fish, veggies etc). 3) Add some more veggies to my diet. I eat quite a bit of fruit but the sugars add up pretty quickly.
  18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different? Flat stomach, smaller thighs & upper arms, and a nicer looking chest.
  19. Do you eat when you are not hungry? Yes. Usually it's either cravings, or when I have to go out and don't want to feel hungry later.
  20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)? I used to, a LOT, but it's been a good while since I binged.
  21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret? I have my own apartment, so there's not really a need for me to do that.
  22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed? I don't usually get very sad or depressed, so I wouldn't say I'm an emotional eater.
  23. Do you eat as a reward? Yes, but not for incredibly unhealthy reasons. For example, when I go to the gym, I can have a nice snack afterwards. Or when I've been at work all day I might reward myself with by having a nicer or more fancy dinner.
  24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer? All the time. Like literally 95% of the time, without exaggerating.
  25. What do you normally eat for a meal? For breakfast I will usually have a smoothie (soy milk, frozen fruits, honey & protein powder) and either crackers, a sandwich or oatmeal, when I have crackers I might also have a rice cake or piece of fruit. For lunch it varies a lot. Most of the time inbetween breakfast and dinner, I'll just eat something when I feel hungry. I'll just look at what's available to me at the time. For dinner I've been eating a lot of a specific salad lately. It's a pre-packaged salad with lettuce, carrot, pasta, cashews, chicken & teriyaki dressing. Other options are usually soup, instant ramen, pizza, a rice dish or salad.
  26. What type of snacks do you eat? I currently eat a lot of popcorn. When I'm at work I like to have a powdered soup at times. Sometimes I'll have candy or crisps, but I try to not bring those into my home anymore because I can't control myself when it comes to those. I have small 200 calorie pizzas that I'll heat up every now and then, or I might have a portion of trail mix / nut mix.
  27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing? I try to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. But I also work a bit & I'll have to go to school again soon as well. So hopefully I'll be able to keep up that habit.
  28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home? I go to a public gym. Sometimes I'll do some exercises at home, too. But about 90% of my workout routine takes place at the gym.
  29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise? I love the crosstrainer. It's my favourite cardio exercise. I used to do 30 minutes, nowadays when I feel like I can do more, I'll do 45 minutes & sometimes even a full hour. I also do a lot of abdominal crunches & leg exercises. I also love to dance, but I don't do it nearly as much as I'd like.
  30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals? Right now, my biggest motivation is my new boyfriend. I really want him to find me attractive, and I feel like being slimmer and more fit could really help with that.
  31. Do you have rewards for certain goals? Not yet, but I do really like the idea of rewards. Maybe a new tattoo once I reach my GW. Or a new game, or new clothes for smaller goals.
 
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Cate

Support crew
Hi, Avyeon. Thanks for providing us with those answers. It does help us get to know you. It sounds like you are well on the way to being healthy & fit. Finding the right balance is the hardest thing I find.
 

Avyeon

New member
Damn, one of the new staples in my apartment is my smoothie / milkshake mix that I tried out. So I take 250ml (1 cup) of unsweetened soy milk. Then I put whatever frozen fruits in there (usually strawberries, cherries and / or blueberries), a little bit of honey and some protein powder. Its like a fruity milkshake! One of my favourite meals of the day with some crackers or yogurt.
 

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LaMaria

Well-known member
Sounds like a great way to get some protein into a sweet treat. If you have a good blender you can also make protein icecream that way!
 

Avyeon

New member
Yesterday was a little bit difficult. I felt binge urges and kept eating small things around the house. Thankfully the only sweets I had near was popcorn, so I was unable to binge on candy or junk food. But I ate some popcorn, red grapes, and sliced meats I hadn't planned on eating.
I also went out to eat with my mom. We had some good discussions, but we also discussed my new boyfriend... She actually doesn't know we're already dating, but I've brought it up to her that he and I could be together in the future. I love my mom, but she is extreeeemely racist. I wouldn't say she 'hates' people from a different race, but she has more of an irrational fear towards them. Even though my boyfriend has been in the UK since he was 6 years old, his family is originally from Iraq. She told me I'm not going to walk around with a hijab (I'm not, he's not religious), and that she hopes it doesn't work out. I'm a bit heartbroken, my family is everything to me, so to know she already refuses to accept him before even meeting him makes me sad. Anyway, mom and I both had the flatbread with ground beef & cheddar.

So yesterday I ate:
- Chicken pesto sandwich (380)
- Smoothie (210)
- Kinder bueno (246)
- A black licorice bar (110)
- Flatbread (?)
- A package of sliced beef (?)
- 2 slices of sliced spam (?)
- Popcorn (?)
- Grapes (?)

240763724_913762889350764_543638119741620812_n.jpg
 

Avyeon

New member
I've also decided I want to save up for a breast lift. It's probably my biggest insecurity, because people, especially guys, love my chest for being big. But they're anything but beautiful. I wore a bra for years without taking it off except for showers. I wore them to bed too because it was most comfortable for me. Now they're obviously very saggy, so I'm gonna need to do something about it. The procedure is €6000 if you include small implants (to have them stay the same size rather than become smaller), €5000 without. I make about €1000 / month, so if I save up a bit, I should have the money within a year.

But I'm not good at saving money lmao so we'll see.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
How sad that your mom doesn´t see your boyfriend as more than a stereotype. Hopefully in time she´ll see that people are people everywhere. My parents were very... let´s be kind and call it old-fashioned... about a lot of things but they´ve come around on most things as they´ve got more familiar with them. I grew up in a tiny village that was basically a full generation behind the rest of the country back then so the world has changed a LOT for them. If my folks can get used to people who are different hopefully yours will as well.

I understand your insecurity about your breasts and if it´s just that I´d say look into the possible outcomes and risks carefully, pick an excellent surgeon, and go for it. But do make sure it´s not just the first of a line of attempted "fixes" for things that maybe just need getting used to.
 

Avyeon

New member
My god, binge monster being a bitch lately. But not giving up! Haven't lost any weight but thankfully haven't gained any either. At the gym right now too working the extra calories off that I've eaten over the past few days. University is starting tomorrow as well, so I'll have less opportunity to snack on random bullcrap at home. Really excited to finally be able to go back to uni again! Those online classes were really putting my motivation 6 ft underground.
 

Avyeon

New member
Well, shit. Seems like I got a small pantry moth infestation. Time to toss all my dry goods. :(
 

Avyeon

New member
Ouch, that sucks! Those little buggers will get into anything.

I'm really glad I noticed it and took the time to get rid of it yesterday, because I found the bag where the infestation started, and it was RIDDLED with eggs. So I got to take care of about 25 live moths, instead of 2500.
Still tossed all dry goods of course, also cleaned all my glasses & coffee mugs that were in the same cupboard. I really hope they don't come back.
 

Cate

Support crew
I had moths in a wardrobe a couple of years ago & bought some sticky moth traps, which worked really well. They attract the moths with pheromones.
 

Avyeon

New member
Okay I'm back- again- I think. Past few weeks have been a bit tough when it comes to food. I've been having massive binge urges and I've been giving into them too. Not entirely sure why, maybe because I've been home a good while. I had 2 weeks off from work to make sure I could have a good start with university. I've also not worked out during these 2 weeks because I really been needing a break from my usual routine. But I'm definitely bummed that I've been binging. I've had Dominos a few times, I've had countless bags of candy, a few bags of crisps, some chocolate bars and a lot of microwavable snacks over these past weeks. However, I'm done with that and I want to get back on track now I've started working again.

I really want to go back to the gym too, but I'll need to wait till tomorrow morning. A piece of my tooth broke off, and it's been hurting quite a bit. Not when I don't do anything, but I really need to be careful especially when drinking anything, or taking deep breaths (because the cold air against that tooth hurts). Going to the gym makes me feel really good and motivated, so I've been waiting to go back.

I weighed myself this morning and weighed 77,6kg. I was quite pleasantly surprised I didn't gain more weight than that. I think the reason I didn't gain more, is because I was replacing normal meals with whatever junk food I was craving at the time. So instead of a proper dinner, I could just be snacking on candy and crisps instead of having that on top of a regular meal. But I'm not planning on gaining anything more, so I'm going to do my best to get back into my usual routine. :)

(Oh, and the pantry moths thankfully haven't made a return!)
 

Avyeon

New member
I just caaaan't catch a break. I was contacted by the police last week and asked to come down to the station. They called me and told me they had arrested someone and went through his phone. They found lots of clips of him being inappropriate towards women without them knowing. Aaaaand 14 of those clips were of me. He had sniffed my ass and wanked off behind me without my consent or knowledge. They were recorded in 2018 when I was working my old job so he's been doing this for at least 2.5+ years. So naturally I'm pressing charges. If the case does go to court I have the right to a lawyer of which the costs will be completely covered since I'm a 'victim' in this case. I hope the butthole gets a proper punishment, but knowing the Dutch system, he'll probably get off with a few hours of labor.
 

Cate

Support crew
What a creep!
 
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