Cohen's Lifestyle BabyFatNoMore's Weight Loss Journal

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Thank you, Cate. I appreciate your support. And I'm sorry you're dealing with some family drama of your own. It's no fun, is it? So draining mentally and emotionally. Physically draining, too. I feel bone tired after going round and round with her. I have to stop taking the bait. I've gotten much better, though. I no longer lose my temper, but I still engage in pointless conversations with her. I still try to explain myself even though I know it won't do one bit of good. {sigh}

There are lots of issues from childhood that I probably need to deal with, some that probably led to me gaining weight, but I just want life to be good and happy and rosy. Naive, I know. I hate, hate, hate confrontation, negativity, and anger. I've probably been feeding those feelings instead of dealing with them.

I hope tomorrow is a better day. But to end on a positive note, I am still 100% on plan and I will stay that way... no matter what happens!
 
I am truly being tested. My husband just called and told me he lost his job. He had only had this job for a couple months, after being out of work for a year. Before that, he was with the same company for over 20 years. All of our savings were wiped out during the time he was out of work. I'm so scared!

I don't feel like eating. I feel sick. I just want to crawl under the covers and stay there until things get better.
 
I'm so sorry sweetie. You really are being tested! It will be something that you can look back on one day & say "even though.........I still stuck to my plan" and it will be something to be so proud of. Eating off plan won't be any comfort sweets, it would only add to the stress and make you feel even worse. Eat something healthy but simple(crackers & cheese & a little celery for example. You must look after yourself. It will be even more important so that you are better able to mentally support your LH. Please do.
Sending you a great big hug and lots of love and support from Tassie to Texas, xoxoxoxoxo Cate
 
Thanks, Cate. Chocolate has been calling to me, but I've resisted. I've removed most "goodies" from the house, but my husband has a yummy box of truffles. I will not cheat, not even a single bite. As comforting as it sounds, I now know that eating that chocolate won't help me one bit. After I've eaten it, my problems will still be there, but I'll have the added guilt of knowing I deviated. No thank you!

Today I'm focusing on other ways I can make money. I currently do editing and research for a website (I've worked for them in various capacities since 2006) and I enjoy it, but it doesn't pay enough to cover all our bills. Plus, I'm seeing more and more that no job is secure and as a freelancer, it isn't wise to rely entirely on one company. So, I'm looking into other writing/editing/researching-type things I can do. I've thought of resumes, social media, and B2B writing so far. This type of thinking is way more productive than the panic I was feeling yesterday!

Diet-wise, everything is going well. I had my husband remove the scales from the house, so I'm not sure how much weight I've lost in the last several days, but I'm finding I like that. It feels like a huge pressure has been lifted. I just forget about the pounds and focus on my meals. It's kind of freeing.
 
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Congratulations Misty on turning your panic into positive planning so fast. Well done!
Getting your husband to hide the scales- smart thinking. You know that you will be losing weight & fat & the scales mess with your mind.
I think that you are being a great example for anyone starting out & I know I am really enjoying having you back. People need to hear that it is possible to succeed if you really persevere. Life is not perfect.
Well done Misty. You will succeed at whatever you set out to do, xoxo Cate
 
I just realized I haven't posted in 5 days. I'm still here and still on track. I just got a little busy.

My birthday was quiet and low-key, just the way I like it. We spent time at a park, feeding the ducklings, taking walks, and playing frisbee. It's always nice to see the kids running and playing. My husband didn't buy a cake because he didn't want to tempt me, but the kids really enjoy birthday cake, so I bought a very small one just so they could have the fun of singing to me and, of course, eating the cake. I had two crackers on a plate while they ate the cake (ha!). They thought that was pretty pitiful, but it didn't really bother me. I seem to be losing many of my unhealthy cravings. Yay!

Saturday, my oldest daughter (11) and I had First Aid and CPR training all day. It was fun and I'm glad we got to do it together. Unfortunately, I ended up missing part of a meal that day. I had packed cheese and crackers with a salad. When I got ready to eat, I found that my salad's vinegar had leaked all over the place and made a huge mess. So I only ended up eating the crackers and cheese. I hope that didn't mess me up too much.
 
Misty, I am so, so sorry that I forgot to wish you happy birthday before I went away. I must admit I was stressing out about the trip last week & was not my usual self (or the self I like to think that I am). Your day sounds lovely. Spending the day with your husband & kids, doing what you want to do, is the best thing. You sound so similar to me in so many of the things that you say. I'm sure that we would get on well if we met in person. Maybe one day...
Glad you had a nice birthday with the people you love & who love you xoxo Cate
 
One month down and 20 pounds lost FOREVER. On one hand, I feel very good about losing those 20 pounds, but on the other, I feel a bit discouraged that I still have 44 pounds to go. It seems like such a long journey. I know, I know, many people have lost much more than that, but it seems like a lot to me. I've dieted so many times and probably lost over a hundred pounds, but never more than 20 pounds at a time (and I always regain it). After I've lost around 15 to 20 pounds, I always get discouraged and give up. Or, I think, "I've done so well, I deserve a little treat." Naturally, treat equals cheat and then it's all downhill. NOT THIS TIME. I will pass the 20 pound point. I will succeed. Failure-- and cheating-- is not an option.

Cate, I have no doubt whatsoever that we would get along! I relate to so much of what I read in your journal, especially the early days. I only hope to reach your level of maturity and peace!
 
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I haven't posted much because there just isn't a lot to say! Diet is still going well. Husband is still out of work. I'm still busy working and doing things with my daughters. My moods are still fluctuating! I can go from full-blown panic to raging optimism in 10 seconds flat. :)

Here's hoping he gets a job SOON!!!!
 
Misty, Most of that sounds very familiar! My mood is fluctuating madly. I hope he gets a job very soon too. Good for you, sticking to the program xo Cate
 
I have to snap out of this! I feel so blah and numb, I'm like a zombie half the time. And I'm not feeling like eating. I missed my third meal two days in a row, which left me feeling very dizzy and lightheaded. I know I shouldn't do it, but sometimes I just feel so down and lacking in energy.

And it's like I have adult ADD. I'm trying to figure out ways to make more money, but I'm having trouble focusing on one idea. I'll get excited about an idea for a day or two and really throw myself into learning all the ins and outs of it, but then I move on to a different idea. In the meantime, I'm spending time that I should be working doing research, so I'm not really accomplishing anything. I hate when I get like this. When I have too many things on my to do list, I get overwhelmed, panicky, and scattered. I don't know where to start, so I end up treading water. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH.

Ok, I feel a little better now that I've complained a bit. Now off to make some food.
 
Misty, You are eating so little as it is that missing a meal will make you so much worse. Have a default meal that you can eat regardless. You will be useless if you don't look after yourself. PLEASE!
Have you ever meditated? Are you able to just take 10 minutes to just chill out & try not to think of anything at all. In the bath perhaps? If you fall apart sweets you'll be good for nothing. I know how you feel as I've been there. You must take care of yourself. Sending you a long, deep, relaxing breath followed by a big hug, xoxo Cate.
 
I went in for my 2nd blood test today. I hope all is well. I've definitely not deviated, so there shouldn't be a problem.

Nothing much has changed, but I'm feeling better today. My mood is lighter and I'm not quite so blah. Everything with the diet is still going great. Cate, I took your advice and made sure to have some easy meals on hand for days I don't feel like cooking. The other night, I had cheese and crackers with a chunk of cucumber. Not something I would normally eat, but it kept me in compliance and it required no energy. Just what I needed at the time.

Things have been so busy with girl scouts and homeschoolig, so I have fallen behind on my work. Luckily, the school year is drawing to a close, so I'll be able to focus more on my current job and figuring out what I want to do in the future.

My husband had an interview that looks promising. He'll find out next Tuesday if he got the job. And he's busy applying for other jobs and delivering resumes. I think he'll get something soon.

OK, back to work. Tomorrow we're out all day for an end-of-the-year girl scouts celebration, so need to work extra today.
 
Cheese/crackers/cucumber/celery was always my default meal when I couldn't be bothered. It's very convenient to take out with you anywhere as well.
My fingers & toes are crossed for your LH.
Happy for you that your mood is lightening. Things will work out Misty I'm sure.
xoxo Cate
 
Thanks for checking in, Cate. I'm okay. It's been a stressful month or so and I can't say I've done well with my diet. I'm not pigging out or anything, but I'm having trouble eating at all. I've only lost 3 pounds in the last 4 weeks.

It's just been a rough time. My husband is still out of work and I feel like I'm working around the clock, but I'm not making nearly enough money to get by. And I burnt myself badly with a ThermaCare heat wrap (not sure if these are available worldwide). My back has been covered with painful burns and blisters. And then there was all the time I lost with migraines and a sore throat.

I didn't want to whine, so I haven't been writing here. Plus, I probably didn't want to admit that I've been doing badly with my diet.

Oh, and my brother and his wife have decided to divorce. It's not a horrible thing because they never seemed like a good fit anyway and they didn't have children, but it's always sad when a marriage ends.

Now that I've spread my sunshine, I'll close. :)
 
That's ok sweets. I'm not a fair weather friend, I'm an always friend- through thick & thin. My last month has been abysmal too. Hopefully everything will improve with us soon & we'll look back at this time as tough, but we got through it ok. xoxo Cate
 
Hi Misty, Just checking up to see how you're going & to send lots of positive vibes your way. Things have settled down here, xoxo Cate
 
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