at what lb?

F

fat freeda

0
at what pound or inch did I suddenly become worthless?
at what pound did I lose my membership to humanity?

I was looking for a place to vent, I cant in my life, dont know how
I'm 5'8 280 lbs I have always been told I'm pretty maybe thats why I never noticed that I'm such a freak.

Today I found out that my sons girlfriend dosent want me in the're wedding, because I'm to fat.
My husband blew up at me this evening (could'nt find the remote) called me a fat freak.
Last month my father, whom I thought loved me no matter what, said, his girlfriend thinks I'm huge and "could loose weight if I tried she did, and all she had to do was quit eating and have some pride in herself"
WTF does that mean?

I've never done a thing in my life to hurt anyone, why is it so easy for everyone to hurt me?
I have had it!
 
The answer to your question : there is no sharp line. But, either way what you've described is extreme and close family members should not act like that. However for now you could take their comments lightly and start on a fitness program for health benefits. There is a lot of info around in this site to get you going. Good luck!
 
I'd suggest starting a fitness/diet program ONLY if you are going to do it for YOU. Not for others to be able to accept you.
 
if you are happy with the way you see yourself then there is no reason to change. my new favorite line that i got from my yoga instructor is "you are where you need to be"
 
People Diet, exersize, or actually: adapt a healthier lifestyle because they want to look and feel better. I started to diet because of the same reason: pure for ME. And that others also like it is nice, but even if they didn't, it doesn't really matter to me. If you do it for yourself, you're more likely to succeed, than doing it for others. If you want to change for YOURSELF, then yes you should. Read around the forum, educate yourself, and consult a doctor who can give you advise on how to start or help you find a good nutritionist.

If you feel fine the way you are, but just hate what others think about you, then my advise to you would be: ignore their hurtful comments and comfort yourself with the idea that being unattractive from the inside is a LOT worse than not looking like a 2nd Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie from the outside.
 
Last edited:
fat freeda said:
at what pound or inch did I suddenly become worthless?
at what pound did I lose my membership to humanity?

I was looking for a place to vent, I cant in my life, dont know how
I'm 5'8 280 lbs I have always been told I'm pretty maybe thats why I never noticed that I'm such a freak.

Today I found out that my sons girlfriend dosent want me in the're wedding, because I'm to fat.
My husband blew up at me this evening (could'nt find the remote) called me a fat freak.
Last month my father, whom I thought loved me no matter what, said, his girlfriend thinks I'm huge and "could loose weight if I tried she did, and all she had to do was quit eating and have some pride in herself"
WTF does that mean?

I've never done a thing in my life to hurt anyone, why is it so easy for everyone to hurt me?
I have had it!
Click to expand...


Yes, you're heavy, but you're still a person. It sounds like you're surrounded by hurtful, abusive people, and I wouldn't be surprised if your eating habits are directly linked to your mental state. You say you're venting here cause you can't do it in your life. That's a problem right there. You should be able to defend youself against vicious comments like that. If I called my wife a "fat freak" she'd whoop my ass! Your lack of self esteem is/has made you a doormat.

As mean as your father's comment was, he's right. You CAN lose weight. And you do NEED more pride in yourself to stand up to jackasses like these. The first thing you need is counseling. You gotta get to the root of your emotional distress, or any weight loss program you try will ultimately fail.

And you're right about the people in you life telling you what you want to hear. You're not big boned, you're overweight. Seriously so. But it's correctable. It's just body fat, it WILL come off. You have to do some serious soul work and find YOU and love YOU. Then take a stand.

Question: Is you husband big too?
 
Thank you everyone for your advice, you dont know how much it ment to hear from you all, I have never talked openly about any of the things I posted here.
I was scared the replies would be mean, if anything at all.

I know I have a problem I was to scared to face it.
It is going to be a long hard road but I have to do it and knowing I can talk to people like yourselves gives me more power.

Buck, no my husband is not heavy, he's perfect, very fit handsome and he knows it, lol isnt that how it always go's?

I have 4 sons 23-18 all perfectly fit 6'6 + oldest 2 are body builders.
They all have always loved me unconditionally and never said a negative word about my size, I'm so ashamed for them all having a mom that looks like this.

No more....today I start to change all that I owe it to myself and family

God bless you all and thanks again
 
Great for you

fat freeda said:
Thank you everyone for your advice, you dont know how much it ment to hear from you all, I have never talked openly about any of the things I posted here.
I was scared the replies would be mean, if anything at all.

I know I have a problem I was to scared to face it.
It is going to be a long hard road but I have to do it and knowing I can talk to people like yourselves gives me more power.

Buck, no my husband is not heavy, he's perfect, very fit handsome and he knows it, lol isnt that how it always go's.
I have 4 sons 23-18 all perfectly fit 6'6 + oldest 2 are body builders.
They all have always loved me unconditionally and never said a negative word about my size, I'm so ashamed for them all having a mom that looks like this.

No more....today I start to change all that I owe it to myself and family

God bless you all and thanks again
Click to expand...
Hello Freeda,
Good for you for deciding to better yourself. We are all proud of you. You're right, it may be a long hard road, but it is well worth the travel. You say you have 2 sons that are boybuilders, sounds like you can get a good amount of info from them as far as dieting and exercise goes. If not, our arms are open here on the forum. Please do not hesitate to post any questions on here. Best of luck to you. :eek:
 
Ask yourself what YOU want. Describe your outcome from a complete re-work of your body and health. Once you know the results you would like, set some goals that will help you obtain those goals within a reasonable amount of time.

Because of your weight, you may find that you will sometimes loose more than 2 pounds per week during this process. Other times you may not loose anything, or even gain a pound or two. The key is to focus on your goals and stick with your plan.

Let's pretend you wanted to get down to 150 pounds and be in a healthy BF% range. that whole process with a balanced healthy diet, cardio routine and weight training could easily be obtained within 1-1/2 years.

But, looks like you have a more near-term goal of trimming up some before the wedding. When is it? Let's say it is 3 months away. In 3 months (if you start today), you could potentially loose 25 pounds. With this in mind, you could be 255 pounds by the wedding date.

I propose that you approach your son and future daughter-in-law and explain to them that the comment hurt, but it opened your eyes. Tell them that after you thought it out and put yourself in their shoes you understood where they were coming from. As painful as it sounds, your future daughter-in-law has her own reasons (that make sense to her) for making a comment like that... After explaining the situation, go on to explain that you have ALREADY started a program to get yourself in better shape. Explain that this workout and diet will not work without the support of people around you. Finish with, a proposal. Propose to them that during the next 3 months you plan to loose at least 20 pounds. In so doing, ask them that they reconsider and allow you to join the wedding party in the event that you are able to meet your goal. That being said, when they agree (and they will), you can surprise the Hell out of them by surpassing your goal!

From there, you need to stick with this original outcome and goal setting session to continue loosing the weight. This will show everyone around you that you are taking this seriously. If you plan on living long enough to see your grandkids and have them remember you, you will need to do something to get yourself more healthy. There are so many problems associated with your current weight and future weight if you do not do something now.

So... Are you a person who cares about themself? Or, are all of the lugubrious family members right about you? Make a decision and stick to your guns kiddo!

Stop reading posts on here and wasting time on the internet (unless it is only to post your goals, routine, diet ideas, etc and get feedback). Stop watching TV shows. And do the following:

1. Decide on the outcome that you want.
2. Set goals to achieve this outcome.
3. Find out what calorie range you should be in to loose weight and create a food plan that incorporates this.
4. Break your meals into 6 or 7 smaller meals.
5. Drink 90+ ounces of water throughout each day.
6. Stop eating any and ALL trans fats.
7. design a 3 or 4 day cardio routine that will get you in 70-80% of your MHR (this will take some time and effort) for 40 or minutes. Note: this routine will probably start as 5 minutes. You will need to work up to 40+ minutes.
8. Walk at least one mile everyday!
9. Incorporate 3 days of weight training into your weekly routines.
10. Take at least one day of rest each week (stick to your diet, just don't do cardio or weights on rest day). Note: it is okay to overlap one of your cardio and weight days to obtain a day of rest.
11. Wake up everyday loving life and realizing that you are working to make a better you. And, remember that you WANT this.

Good luck and please keep us posted,
Rip
 
Freeda,

As has been mentioned, you are surrounded by clods. I also have rather unsupportive family members and long ago quit listening to them.

This is FOR YOU. This is ABOUT YOU. To hell with THEM, as they are clearly superficial fools who don't bother to know YOU.

I'm mad as hell at those people for treating you this way. You do not deserve it. You are entitled to your feelings, which have been seriously trampled on.

That said, get going on making yourself a healthier you FOR YOU.
 
Hello everyone
RIP that baby is beyond adorable.:)
LOL yes smalling my dad is a clod I dont know how he gets around like he does with his head so far up his ass.

I am happy to report that I have lost 9 lbs since my first post I walk 3 + miles a day, my husband is very supportive as well as 2 of my sons, one calls twice a day to help me with advice and cheer me on, my youngest son (18 years old) takes time to walk with me every night on the college track.

We own our own business on a very large piece of property, long driveway shipping docks etc I just walk around the property for 2 hrs a day (3+miles) and then again at the college track by my house at night so Im actually walking more than 3 miles a day.

Rip thanks so much for your responce I have read it over and over and applying it to my new program I feel I am getting on the right track and it feels real good kinda powerful feeling

Thanks again and god bless:D
(havent smiled this big in a coons age).
 
Reward yourself (mentally) as you lose your weight. Remember that it is EASY to fall back into a rut and start gainging it back. So, you need to stick to your guns and stay with this. Day in and day out. This is a life change not some whim.

From now on Freeda, you are no longer stuck. You choose your outcome.

You have started on the right path. Stay the course!!!

Easy stuff when it all boils down.

Congratz,
Rip
 
fat freeda said:
Hello everyone
RIP that baby is beyond adorable.:)
LOL yes smalling my dad is a clod I dont know how he gets around like he does with his head so far up his ass.

I am happy to report that I have lost 9 lbs since my first post I walk 3 + miles a day, my husband is very supportive as well as 2 of my sons, one calls twice a day to help me with advice and cheer me on, my youngest son (18 years old) takes time to walk with me every night on the college track.

We own our own business on a very large piece of property, long driveway shipping docks etc I just walk around the property for 2 hrs a day (3+miles) and then again at the college track by my house at night so Im actually walking more than 3 miles a day.

Rip thanks so much for your responce I have read it over and over and applying it to my new program I feel I am getting on the right track and it feels real good kinda powerful feeling

Thanks again and god bless:D
(havent smiled this big in a coons age).
Click to expand...


Congratulations! You're doin great! Keep it up, you CAN do this!:D
 
I am so sorry you've had to deal with comments like this! Perhaps now that you've verbalized (or rather typed out) these comments and how you feel about them, next time someone confronts you with a hurtful, hateful comment you can let them know right then and there that they've hurt you! I've found that people respond more to "you hurt me when you did/said this" than to "you big jerk, I hate you for saying that!" (which may just spill out if you don't vent your feelings and handle the situation).

Sometimes our families get so comfortable around us, because we are so giving and passive, that they think that they can say whatever they think and we will just take it and not be hurt by it at all just because they think what they are saying is true. Perhaps it would just take a bit of you telling them how they are making you feel for them to straighten up!

I have had to handle similar situations so I feel your pain. The decision is yours, but I can tell you this: It won't stop until you handle it properly. Just losing the weight so that they can no longer comment about it won't stop them from moving on to another percieved flaw.

I also want to second that you should only change for you, not for them.

Hugs, and good luck with whatever you decide!
 
Wow, way to go!! You are doing great! Keep up the good work and don't forget that each step you take is one more step in the direction of GOOD HEALTH.
 
Pretty inspirational to read all of this. I am tryin to lose weight and get fit too but sometimes I'ts not just for me :/.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top