Amy's weight loss diary
- Thread starter amy1985
- Start date
*deep breaths*
*long list of expletives, throwing things, hitting things*
There's been a crisis at home (as in, in Australia). I don't want to give details, it's private. But I'm in a bit of a tailspin right now. There's absolutely nothing I can do from here and I feel like I've abandoned the people who need me back home. This feeling really sucks.
I'll try to make the best out of today but I'm pretty freaking upset right now.
*long list of expletives, throwing things, hitting things*
There's been a crisis at home (as in, in Australia). I don't want to give details, it's private. But I'm in a bit of a tailspin right now. There's absolutely nothing I can do from here and I feel like I've abandoned the people who need me back home. This feeling really sucks.
I'll try to make the best out of today but I'm pretty freaking upset right now.
Sunflower2
New member
Just be calm Amy--There is nothing you can do. My boyfriend is from America and lives in Portsmouth with me and his family have been going through some horrible times and we had neither the money nor the time to travel back out to the States. It's a horrible feeling but I always remind Yank that things would be shit over there regardless of whether you were there or not. I hope things improve soon xx
Thanks 
There's nothing I could do even if I was at home, I suspect. I'm just worried sick.
Needless to say, I'm not having the best of days. I'm doing ok food wise, but that's only because I deliberately overate at lunch (which I had late because I was distracting myself before) and now I'm way too full to consider eating anything. In terms of other things, I'm just in a horrible haze.
There's nothing I could do even if I was at home, I suspect. I'm just worried sick. Needless to say, I'm not having the best of days. I'm doing ok food wise, but that's only because I deliberately overate at lunch (which I had late because I was distracting myself before) and now I'm way too full to consider eating anything. In terms of other things, I'm just in a horrible haze.
overtherainbow
New member
with Hana, I hope things get better for your family and you soon. xxxxxxxxxThanks I called home to find that the situation has eased a little, so it's not as bad as I previously thought. It's far from ideal, but the crisis seems to have been averted for now.
I'm going to write up my food diary now, which means I have to stop eating. I'm under my calories... only just barely. I don't know what went wrong this evening, but after dinner I was completely ravenous. I also have a really foul headache, and I have no idea what that's about. (Maybe the sleeping tablets? I'm going to run the 5 day course and stop, as that's what was recommended by the specialist, but I've felt especially groggy and for longer since I started taking them, even though I've been sleeping very well)
Sunday 19 June
Breakfast
0.1% milk 267 g 93.4
Sainsbury's porridge oats 35 g 124.6
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural probiotic yoghurt 76 g 41.8
Spices, cinnamon, ground 0.8 g 2.0
Tesco frozen blueberries 40 g 12.8
Tesco frozen raspberries 40 g 10.8
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 249 g 2.5
0.1% milk 58 g 20.3
0.1% milk 56 g 19.6
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 229 g 2.3
Subtotal: 330 calories, 22g protein, 51g carbs, 3g fat. 27/63/10
Snack
0.1% milk 49 g 17.2
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 241 g 2.4
Strawberries, raw 159 g 50.9
Subtotal: 70 calories, 3g protein, 14g carbs, <1g fat. 16/77/7
Lunch
tesco whole foods wholewheat couscous (prepared with water) 50 g 180.0
Squash, summer, zucchini, includes skin, raw 297 g 50.5
Tesco Green Lentils in water 117 g 99.4
Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average 114 g 20.5
Mushrooms, white, raw 72 g 15.8
Blue Dragon Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce 20 g 37.6
Water, tap, drinking 317 g 0.0
Subtotal: 403 calories, 20g protein, 76g carbs, 3g fat. 17/75/7
Dinner:
Water, tap, drinking 308 g 0.0
Tarragon and Artichoke Chicken (405.624/serve) 405.62 g 343.7
Subtotal: 343 calories, 40g protein, 15g carbs, 11g fat. 50/19/31
Dessert:
Green and Black Butterscotch chocolate 8 g 42.3
Rhubarb, raw 125 g 26.2
silver spoon caster sugar 20 g 80.0
Gala apple 136 g 68.0
Tesco light choices vaniletta 55 g 79.8
Subtotal: 296 calories, 4g protein, 57g carbs, 5g fat. 6/70/17
Random starving binge:
Hartley's sugar free strawberry jelly (140= 1/4 of pack) 420 g 24.0
Plums, raw 97 g 44.6
Sainsbury's poppy seed crackers (1 cracker=20 calories) 8.35 g 40.0
Whole Earth Smooth original peanut butter 5 g 29.8
Tesco value sultanas 9 g 27.0
Pears, raw 120 g 69.6
Tesco frozen raspberries 35 g 9.4
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural probiotic yoghurt 36 g 19.8
Subtotal: 264 calories, 10g protein, 47g carbs, 5g fat. 16/67/17
Total: 1708 calories (98%), 101g protein (102%), 263g carbs (99%), 29g fat (69%). 2862.1ml water consumption, 1254.3mg sodium (84%). Final split 24/61/16
Plus my night tea, so say another 280-320ml water. Will have my tablet with the tea tonight so hopefully I won't be up at 2am to go to the loo again, my sleep with these tablets has been good but interrupted.
Hopefully tomorrow will be much better.
I called home to find that the situation has eased a little, so it's not as bad as I previously thought. It's far from ideal, but the crisis seems to have been averted for now.I'm going to write up my food diary now, which means I have to stop eating. I'm under my calories... only just barely. I don't know what went wrong this evening, but after dinner I was completely ravenous. I also have a really foul headache, and I have no idea what that's about. (Maybe the sleeping tablets? I'm going to run the 5 day course and stop, as that's what was recommended by the specialist, but I've felt especially groggy and for longer since I started taking them, even though I've been sleeping very well)
Sunday 19 June
Breakfast
0.1% milk 267 g 93.4
Sainsbury's porridge oats 35 g 124.6
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural probiotic yoghurt 76 g 41.8
Spices, cinnamon, ground 0.8 g 2.0
Tesco frozen blueberries 40 g 12.8
Tesco frozen raspberries 40 g 10.8
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 249 g 2.5
0.1% milk 58 g 20.3
0.1% milk 56 g 19.6
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 229 g 2.3
Subtotal: 330 calories, 22g protein, 51g carbs, 3g fat. 27/63/10
Snack
0.1% milk 49 g 17.2
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 241 g 2.4
Strawberries, raw 159 g 50.9
Subtotal: 70 calories, 3g protein, 14g carbs, <1g fat. 16/77/7
Lunch
tesco whole foods wholewheat couscous (prepared with water) 50 g 180.0
Squash, summer, zucchini, includes skin, raw 297 g 50.5
Tesco Green Lentils in water 117 g 99.4
Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average 114 g 20.5
Mushrooms, white, raw 72 g 15.8
Blue Dragon Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce 20 g 37.6
Water, tap, drinking 317 g 0.0
Subtotal: 403 calories, 20g protein, 76g carbs, 3g fat. 17/75/7
Dinner:
Water, tap, drinking 308 g 0.0
Tarragon and Artichoke Chicken (405.624/serve) 405.62 g 343.7
Subtotal: 343 calories, 40g protein, 15g carbs, 11g fat. 50/19/31
Dessert:
Green and Black Butterscotch chocolate 8 g 42.3
Rhubarb, raw 125 g 26.2
silver spoon caster sugar 20 g 80.0
Gala apple 136 g 68.0
Tesco light choices vaniletta 55 g 79.8
Subtotal: 296 calories, 4g protein, 57g carbs, 5g fat. 6/70/17
Random starving binge:
Hartley's sugar free strawberry jelly (140= 1/4 of pack) 420 g 24.0
Plums, raw 97 g 44.6
Sainsbury's poppy seed crackers (1 cracker=20 calories) 8.35 g 40.0
Whole Earth Smooth original peanut butter 5 g 29.8
Tesco value sultanas 9 g 27.0
Pears, raw 120 g 69.6
Tesco frozen raspberries 35 g 9.4
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural probiotic yoghurt 36 g 19.8
Subtotal: 264 calories, 10g protein, 47g carbs, 5g fat. 16/67/17
Total: 1708 calories (98%), 101g protein (102%), 263g carbs (99%), 29g fat (69%). 2862.1ml water consumption, 1254.3mg sodium (84%). Final split 24/61/16
Plus my night tea, so say another 280-320ml water. Will have my tablet with the tea tonight so hopefully I won't be up at 2am to go to the loo again, my sleep with these tablets has been good but interrupted.
Hopefully tomorrow will be much better.
Thanks It could've been a lot worse- I was thinking about more chocolate, but I figured it wouldn't solve anything hunger wise and is high calorie.
I'm hitting the coffee, water and painkillers today. I'm now sure my sleeping tablets are the cause of this foul headache. Which is weird because I feel sleep deprived even though I know I'm well rested. One more day of them and we'll see how my sleep patterns go after that- hopefully I've helped train my body again.
It could've been a lot worse- I was thinking about more chocolate, but I figured it wouldn't solve anything hunger wise and is high calorie.I'm hitting the coffee, water and painkillers today. I'm now sure my sleeping tablets are the cause of this foul headache. Which is weird because I feel sleep deprived even though I know I'm well rested. One more day of them and we'll see how my sleep patterns go after that- hopefully I've helped train my body again.
Sunflower2
New member
How come you weigh your water Amy? Just to see how much you're drinking? Isn't it frustrating having to weigh everything alllll the time? Are you planning on carrying the weighing and calculating on forever? Even after you're "at goal". xx
Yeah, it's to make sure I'm drinking enough (it was actually in response to something Carrie said- she mentioned how much water she was drinking and I realised I didn't have anywhere near that). If anything, the water is a little frustrating to weigh (as I know it doesn't count calorie wise), but I'm normally very bad at getting enough so I monitor myself. It comes out of a jug rather than the tap (the water here is disgustingly overchlorinated so I fill up jugs or bottles and leave them for a few hours for the chlorine to evaporate so it doesn't taste like pool) so it's not a huge amount of extra fiddling.
Weighing everything else doesn't bother me- for most things it takes seconds and it brings me the kind of control to be certain I can treat myself to dessert and chocolate and things (I hate feeling deprived) or to eat in the kind of bulk that I do. It's relieved me of most of the food based guilt I've had before. I don't know what I'd do without my digital scales, they make everything easy.
I'm not sure what I'll do when I get to goal (and it's coming up- when I started losing weight I said that, while 60 is my goal, that I'm flexible and will be happy somewhere between 55 and 65. I'm at 65 now. Not ready to stop yet, but I've asked people to tell me if they think I need to stop or am getting too thin anytime from now. I suspect 55 will be too small- I last weighed that when I was 12- but I'm leaving my options open). I'll probably ease off for the most part (not entirely- I think weighing high calorie density foods is probably still useful) and continue to monitor my weight as I have been doing. I suspect I'll more or less continue the kinds of patterns I have at the moment (porridge, vegetable based lunch, larger dinner with restricted meat and extra veggies, largely fruit based snacks/ dessert) and go back to calorie counting if I find myself putting on weight.
I am also considering something else when I get to goal- I'm interested in gaining a little muscle (not bodybuilder type stuff, just a little bit more shape, rather than just thin), which may involve a calorie surplus and rejigging my diet so it's more protein based along with targeted weight training. That would involve the same kind of control I have now, just with different goals (particularly different dietary goals, which will be tough as I often struggle with my protein). (I'd then look to a more controlled weight loss to retain the muscle I'd gained and lose the fat I'd inevitably gain with a calorie surplus). But we'll see what happens when I hit goal/ decide to stop losing weight.
Weighing everything else doesn't bother me- for most things it takes seconds and it brings me the kind of control to be certain I can treat myself to dessert and chocolate and things (I hate feeling deprived) or to eat in the kind of bulk that I do. It's relieved me of most of the food based guilt I've had before. I don't know what I'd do without my digital scales, they make everything easy.
I'm not sure what I'll do when I get to goal (and it's coming up- when I started losing weight I said that, while 60 is my goal, that I'm flexible and will be happy somewhere between 55 and 65. I'm at 65 now. Not ready to stop yet, but I've asked people to tell me if they think I need to stop or am getting too thin anytime from now. I suspect 55 will be too small- I last weighed that when I was 12- but I'm leaving my options open). I'll probably ease off for the most part (not entirely- I think weighing high calorie density foods is probably still useful) and continue to monitor my weight as I have been doing. I suspect I'll more or less continue the kinds of patterns I have at the moment (porridge, vegetable based lunch, larger dinner with restricted meat and extra veggies, largely fruit based snacks/ dessert) and go back to calorie counting if I find myself putting on weight.
I am also considering something else when I get to goal- I'm interested in gaining a little muscle (not bodybuilder type stuff, just a little bit more shape, rather than just thin), which may involve a calorie surplus and rejigging my diet so it's more protein based along with targeted weight training. That would involve the same kind of control I have now, just with different goals (particularly different dietary goals, which will be tough as I often struggle with my protein). (I'd then look to a more controlled weight loss to retain the muscle I'd gained and lose the fat I'd inevitably gain with a calorie surplus). But we'll see what happens when I hit goal/ decide to stop losing weight.
decisionmaker
New member
OOOO That is so exciting! I love that your progress has been so stable (well, aside from that little plateau) and that it is simply a FACT that you will reach your goal. You must be stoked I think it's excellent that you are starting to think about what your plan will be to maintain your weight. It must be tough. It's a great idea to move onto toning, I reckon. You're such a smart cookie
I think it's excellent that you are starting to think about what your plan will be to maintain your weight. It must be tough. It's a great idea to move onto toning, I reckon. You're such a smart cookie It feels really good I've never felt in control of my own body before. But this has just worked, which is awesome. And it's done wonders for my confidence and body image issues (I've still got a way to go there, but I've never felt this good about myself)- along with other factors, of course, like my amazing boyfriend. And as you say, I know I'm going to get there. I'm actually feeling reasonably confident about maintenance- if I monitor myself once a week as I'm currently doing, I can adjust my intake accordingly and jump on any unwanted weight loss or gain before it turns into another weight loss project.
In other news, sometimes there's nothing better than a pig out. I left lunch a little late today (partly I forgot about it, partly I had a late breakfast, partly this damn headache puts me off everything) and I was getting so hungry I just grabbed a lot of the stuff in sight. I weighed and calculated it all, of course, but... over a kilogram of food for lunch today (cottage cheese, a little chilli powder, two potatoes, and a massive pile of veggies). I feel almost uncomfortably full. For under 500 calories
I've never felt in control of my own body before. But this has just worked, which is awesome. And it's done wonders for my confidence and body image issues (I've still got a way to go there, but I've never felt this good about myself)- along with other factors, of course, like my amazing boyfriend. And as you say, I know I'm going to get there. I'm actually feeling reasonably confident about maintenance- if I monitor myself once a week as I'm currently doing, I can adjust my intake accordingly and jump on any unwanted weight loss or gain before it turns into another weight loss project. In other news, sometimes there's nothing better than a pig out. I left lunch a little late today (partly I forgot about it, partly I had a late breakfast, partly this damn headache puts me off everything) and I was getting so hungry I just grabbed a lot of the stuff in sight. I weighed and calculated it all, of course, but... over a kilogram of food for lunch today (cottage cheese, a little chilli powder, two potatoes, and a massive pile of veggies). I feel almost uncomfortably full. For under 500 calories
Feeling a weird combination of headachey, exhausted, nauseous, and starving hungry. Trying to decide if/ when to have dinner- part of me wants it now and wanted it ages ago, the other part can't face such an awful thought.
I'll be glad when this course of sleeping tablets is up, because I think that's what's causing this.
I'll be glad when this course of sleeping tablets is up, because I think that's what's causing this.
I
ItalianGirl
Guest
It feels really good
What you say is perfect.
I'm so proud of you
Thank you, I really appreciate it
In things not to be proud of- I've had 949 calories today. I'm considering going to bed, I'm exhausted and I have been for a few hours. I'm in equal parts nauseous and starving hungry. Would it be awful of me to go to bed, or should I force myself to eat something (and if so, what? I don't have the energy to cook. I have leftovers but I fear they might make me vomit)
In things not to be proud of- I've had 949 calories today. I'm considering going to bed, I'm exhausted and I have been for a few hours. I'm in equal parts nauseous and starving hungry. Would it be awful of me to go to bed, or should I force myself to eat something (and if so, what? I don't have the energy to cook. I have leftovers but I fear they might make me vomit)
overtherainbow
New member
If you feel awful just go to bed hun, and hopefully tomorrow you will wake up feeling a bit fresher x
I agree with everyone, I LOVE you attitude.
I agree with everyone, I LOVE you attitude.
decisionmaker
New member
You poor chicken. totally with Rainbow.
totally with Rainbow.Thanks guys
Just before you posted I decided that hunger won out and went for comfort food. Unfortunately then calorie counting won out and so said comfort food didn't really work out (I put on the amount of peanut butter I wanted onto my sandwich then decided I couldn't justify that much, so halved it, then could barely taste it) on the end result). I'm now getting slight stomach pain but no hunger anymore, which is an overall positive.
About to go to bed. Food (not broken up, feel awful, don't want to):
Monday 20 June
Water, tap, drinking 404 g 0.0
Sainsbury's porridge oats 35 g 124.6
0.1% milk 275 g 96.2
Tesco frozen raspberries 80 g 21.6
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural probiotic yoghurt 123 g 67.6
Spices, cinnamon, ground 0.7 g 1.7
Water, tap, drinking 431 g 0.0
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 253 g 2.5
0.1% milk 64 g 22.4
0.1% milk 45 g 15.8
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 245 g 2.4
graze new england (28) 28 g 81.7
0.1% milk 73 g 25.6
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 222 g 2.2
Water, tap, drinking 442 g 0.0
Boiled potato with skin 180 g 129.6
Mushrooms, white, raw 126 g 27.7
Carrots, raw 246 g 100.9
Peppers, sweet, green, raw 172 g 34.4
Squash, summer, zucchini, includes skin, raw 142 g 24.1
Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average 116 g 20.9
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural cottage cheese 172 g 144.5
Spices, chili powder 1 g 2.8
Water, tap, drinking 363 g 0.0
calorie free tea 272 g 0.0
Kingsmill wholemeal bread (slice 40) 80 g 182.0
Whole Earth Smooth original peanut butter 10 g 59.5
Tesco value sultanas 15 g 45.0
Honey 7 g 21.3
Plus a night tea.
1257 calories, 74g protein, 219g carbs, 16g fat. 3678ml water, 1285mg sodium. 22/67/11
Just before you posted I decided that hunger won out and went for comfort food. Unfortunately then calorie counting won out and so said comfort food didn't really work out (I put on the amount of peanut butter I wanted onto my sandwich then decided I couldn't justify that much, so halved it, then could barely taste it) on the end result). I'm now getting slight stomach pain but no hunger anymore, which is an overall positive.
About to go to bed. Food (not broken up, feel awful, don't want to):
Monday 20 June
Water, tap, drinking 404 g 0.0
Sainsbury's porridge oats 35 g 124.6
0.1% milk 275 g 96.2
Tesco frozen raspberries 80 g 21.6
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural probiotic yoghurt 123 g 67.6
Spices, cinnamon, ground 0.7 g 1.7
Water, tap, drinking 431 g 0.0
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 253 g 2.5
0.1% milk 64 g 22.4
0.1% milk 45 g 15.8
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 245 g 2.4
graze new england (28) 28 g 81.7
0.1% milk 73 g 25.6
Coffee, brewed from grounds, prepared with tap water 222 g 2.2
Water, tap, drinking 442 g 0.0
Boiled potato with skin 180 g 129.6
Mushrooms, white, raw 126 g 27.7
Carrots, raw 246 g 100.9
Peppers, sweet, green, raw 172 g 34.4
Squash, summer, zucchini, includes skin, raw 142 g 24.1
Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average 116 g 20.9
Sainsbury's be good to yourself natural cottage cheese 172 g 144.5
Spices, chili powder 1 g 2.8
Water, tap, drinking 363 g 0.0
calorie free tea 272 g 0.0
Kingsmill wholemeal bread (slice 40) 80 g 182.0
Whole Earth Smooth original peanut butter 10 g 59.5
Tesco value sultanas 15 g 45.0
Honey 7 g 21.3
Plus a night tea.
1257 calories, 74g protein, 219g carbs, 16g fat. 3678ml water, 1285mg sodium. 22/67/11
C
caffeinehigh
Guest
What you say is perfect.
I'm so proud of you
This. <333
---
If you really don't feel like eating, then don't? But maybe eat something small like baked fruit and yogurt and drink some milk for a few extra calories.