Amy's weight loss diary

Ohhhh 7%. Aha! You did mean calories.
I'm so dumb.

It's probably water weight... maybe you should cut down your fat to 20g, just for a couple of days. cut out the chocolate... you're doing everything right. Sometimes our bodies just gain weight for no apparent reason.
 
You've been doing a lot of weight training.. one week when i went to ww, after i'd gone to the gym and did a lot of weight training, i gained half a pound soooo it totally doesn't mean anything, especially with your inches decreasing.

Maybe you're getting to the point when you need to focus on inches/clothes size, rather than numbers.

Dont be disheartened.
 
I've actually been trying to cut my fat back- but I look at things at the end of the day and go "aargh! where did it all come from?!!!" I'm also trying to ramp my protein way up, and get more iron in my diet (all while keeping calories more or less in range). It's all a little bit frustrating at the moment- I feel like I'm stabbing in the dark.

I've actually been going to the gym a bit less recently because I haven't been sleeping properly (side note- I got a really good night's sleep last night, 7 hours, and I think a decent quality of sleep rather than just length, too. Would still prefer 8 but two nights of decent sleep in a row- I had about 7 the night before too- is better than I've had in some time) I wonder if that has something to do with it. (I'm also in the process of trying to make my weights a little harder. Thinking about changing my hamstring weights to this: - which looks hard but I'm becoming too flexible for the one I currently do- and making my hip exercises a bit harder using my body weight rather than a dumbell)

My progress is overall positive, and I need to keep that in mind, it's just been frustrating to not see that number move, and even more so if it's going to move the wrong way! I know it's got to be more complicated than this, but... my calories are way down on what they were, I now pitch at the low end of my range, I should be seeing more results, not less, you know what I mean?

I have always said I didn't want to fixate on the numbers, and I'm just about where I wanted to be in terms of clothes fitting goals. But I struggle to believe that I can be one size and there be a stone difference in weight (without muscle building weight training- which I'll hasten to add is not what I'm doing). I could believe it if I was 63kg (as opposed to a goal of 60)- that's under half a stone. But 7kg (or more at the moment :( ) difference and the same size? Inconceivable! (yes, yes, that was a Princess Diaries reference).
 
I think I'm going to be harsh on myself for a few days. Try to slash the sodium and fat (well, I'm going to have to keep eating my leftovers), no sweets, ramp up the veg intake, eat as close to 1200 as I can without losing my fucking mind. Then see what happens.

I'm going to go to the gym now and flog myself as hard as I can without injuring myself.

:banghead: Can you tell this is upsetting me a little bit? :banghead:
 
Chill out!!!! Don't stress about the numbers, you are eating really well, and the numbers on the scale will soon go down a bit x
 
amy1985 said:
I think I'm going to be harsh on myself for a few days. Try to slash the sodium and fat (well, I'm going to have to keep eating my leftovers), no sweets, ramp up the veg intake, eat as close to 1200 as I can without losing my fucking mind. Then see what happens.

I'm going to go to the gym now and flog myself as hard as I can without injuring myself.

:banghead: Can you tell this is upsetting me a little bit? :banghead:
Click to expand...

Amy, don`t worry please) I have just read some pages from yor diary- you`ve got an aim and i think you ll reach it. You are working hard at yourself, so you just have no oportunities not to reach that weight, which you want. I wonder how exactly you can calculate your calories, i tried to do this, but i thats very boring, and now i dont)))
I didnt read all pages of your diary, i just need many time to do this, so i don`t know would my advice help you or not- but try to eat food without carbs, more protein- maybe you already have tried this, but for me- thats best way to lose weight. My breakfast is 2 eggs and 2 sausages (absolutely without carbs, some fat), some vegetables, dinner and other are like breakfast. Thats calls in Russia - "cremlin diet". You can eat so much meat, eggs, tomatos, cucumbers and other food without carbs as you want, but you absolutely cant eat potatoes, candys, flour food and other with a lot of carbs. If you like sweet stuff, you can use chocolate 99% (its not tasty, but thats good for your health and you wont gain anything). I am sorry if you`ve already tried this and i am giving you maybe stupid advice, in my case- 9 kg for a month (of course with some workouts, without fanatism), but i was very fat- so its more easy for me to lose weight, than for you.
Good luck, dont turn upset, it wont help you, i am sure that all your efforts are not in vain
 
Hon, the number won't go down if you're doing weight training. At this stage in the game, you shouldn't worry too much about that number. Just tone up and get to a comfortable size for you. You look AMAZING right now. I know you don't feel that way, but you really do look great. If you're losing inches, don't worry about the weight. You're still shrinking!
 
Thanks for your replies guys :)

Well, I got to the gym, and while I worked hard, I didn't kill myself like I was preparing to do. That would've been a recipe for injury, I could feel it. I did my lower body workout (within realms of normal, although I changed some things up a bit- I didn't change them because of my mood though), 25 min on the cross trainer (my program says 15, I've been doing 20 lately), and because my thighs were killing me, decided to do the rest in the pool (where my thighs still hurt). Had planned to do 50 laps but had to stop at 30 because people were bombing into the crowded pool (it's only 1.2m deep- here, guys, have a wheelchair, you're going to need it for the rest of your life if you don't cut that shit out. And please don't jump on me as you nearly did, I like using my legs and don't want that wheelchair for myself)

On a side note, I haven't eaten since 1pm. It's now nearly 9. This isn't good. (I'm going to go and shove food down my throat- I've literally had less than 500 calories- and then come back and respond properly.
 
Sorry, meant to get back faster, food is processing through me and I'm feeling more energetic but suddenly more tired, if that makes any sense. (Deliberately had a massive dinner, although it wasn't as massive calorie wise as I'd intended. 547 is definitely more than I normally pitch at now, though)

Dfend, thanks for the suggestion. I know lots of people have success on very high protein diets, but I'm not convinced it's for me. It doesn't seem like something I can keep up forever, and it seems very unhealthy to not have enough carbohydrates. I count my calories by using a computer program, nutritional information on packets, and an electric scale. It's not as hard as it seems. I think you're right- I'm getting down to the area where it's going to be more difficult for me to lose weight- I'm in a healthy weight range now, so my body's going to want to stop my weight loss more than it normally would.

Robin, I don't understand why the number wouldn't go down if I'm weight training- I'm still eating less than my body needs (I don't deduct exercise calories like you do, I just pitch at a slightly higher daily calorie amount), and the weight training (in conjunction with cardio) is still exercise that will be burning more calories. From what I've read, you can't build muscle in a calorie deficit unless you're quite overweight (which I'm not)- and even if I was building muscle, muscle growth is very slow and wouldn't account for the kind of gain I've seen. (I think I've put on a kilogram, for the record) The reason I weight train (other than the fact that I'm really enjoying it) is that I want to minimise muscle loss (and I've read- although I may be misunderstanding- that weight training means not only that muscle loss is minimised, but also that the proportion of fat that you lose increases. The percentages without weight training are supposed to be 75% fat 25% muscle- so what I'm hoping is not only will I be losing, say, 20g of muscle rather than 25, but also that I'll be losing 80g of fat rather than 75. Or something like that, I made those numbers up). And my understanding is that "tone" is a good proportion of muscle/ fat- if I lose too much muscle, I might end up skinny fat, which I don't want.

I know I look reasonable now (I have self esteem issues, it's big for me to say even that), but it's not really about looks, it's about optimal health. I still have (a little bit of) a gut, I still have weight that shouldn't be there. I think 60kg (more or less- you're right about the number, but I don't feel I'm yet at the stage where I can say "close enough, that'll do"- I'm 7kg or 15.4lb off my target) is where I should be. I'm happy to plod along at however long this takes to do healthily, and so the plateau hasn't upset me. But a gain upsets me, because as far as I understand it, I'm doing everything just about as right as I possibly can. (My nutrition could be better, but it's pretty good)

Weight is also an easier thing to track than inches- even though I measure in kilograms, which is a bigger jump than pounds, they're coming off quicker than inches. If I measured myself once a week instead of weighing, any losses would be in millimetres (an inch=2.54cm 1cm=10mm), and I'm sorry, but that's completely trivial and I don't think would help my motivation. A kilogram, or half a kilogram, that's not trivial. It's an objective but meaningful change- hence why it's so psychologically important to me.

On a hilarious side note, I went to see my boyfriend after I went to the gym, and some kid yelled at me (only could've been me, I was the only person standing on the street) "oy, you, fat ass!" (Brits who try to ape the American "ass" rather than just saying "arse" sound almost universally ridiculous, by the way, and this was no exception) Despite the fact I was in a bad mood, it didn't upset me. I know my arse isn't big anymore.
 
Thanks Trusylver. First major funk and I'm chucking a tantrum, though. Still trying to do the right things (thank heavens my boyfriend's sick... my first thought when I saw that number was "fuck this, let's go all you can eat Chinese, that'll make him happy and I don't care right now"- but he can't do that so that pulled me into line almost as soon as I'd had the thought), just feeling very frustrated with everything. Sort of like a small child's whine "I didn't do anything wrong- it's not fair!"
 
imaninjadangit said:
Oh, then...I don't know. lol! I'm just use to my own super fat self. haha
Click to expand...

That's formerly super fat self, thank you :D (yes, I'm a hypocrite- I hate it when other people put themselves down but I give myself crap over everything). I'm all about "do what works for you"- so far (with the current situation aside because I don't know what's causing that) weight training's working well for me (I'm stronger and actually more confident in myself, and I feel a bit better). If it doesn't work for you, then don't do it (although you should reconsider at another stage of your journey).
 
By the way, anyone who's reading this, please, please critique my food. If you think I'm missing something or eating too much of something else, I'd love to hear it. Ignore the numbers- seriously, my computer program works them out. I'd love to know where I'm going wrong nutritionally.
 
Food diary time. It was a weird day due to my freak out. I had most of these calories after 9pm, and nothing between 1pm and 8:30pm (some carrots between 8:30pm and 9pm while I was getting dinner).

By the way, I've changed my goals based on my weight loss- my new aim is 1200 (as to lose 1kg a week I need to eat under 1200 a day and I'm not prepared to do that, so 1200 is my hard minimum) to 1745. Not a massive change (was 1226-1776).

Please critique my intake, I really want to know where, if anywhere, I'm going wrong. (By the way, I've said this before but I'm probably due to say it again, all my standard dairy products- milk, yoghurt, cottage cheese- are low fat. Skim milk, low fat everything else. I did think about going no fat for some things but they're incredibly expensive)

Thursday 2 June

Breakfast: 40g oats, 304ml milk, 49g yoghurt, 68g frozen raspberries. Subtotal: 295 calories, 18g protein, 46g carbs, 3g fat. 25/64/12 split (milk is better for protein than yoghurt, but some yoghurt still helps)

Snacks: 87g nectarine, 183g gala apple, cup of tea (33ml milk, 291ml water). Subtotal: 141 calories, 2g protein, 32g carbs, <1g fat. 7/89/3

~~~~ many hours later ~~~~

Pre-dinner snack: 214g raw carrot. Subtotal: 87 calories, 1g protein, 20g carbs, <1g fat. 6/89/5

Dinner: (yes, this was deliberately large/ excessive) 163g salmon fillets (from frozen- cheap/ affordable that way) baked in frylight (10 sprays), 181g boiled potato, and (fried in 6 sprays frylight) 224g onion, 149g zucchini, and 117g green lentils (from a can). Subtotal: 547 calories, 47g protein, 71g carbs, 9g fat. 33/51/16

Dessert: (as I was still under 1200 calories... but so much for aiming at 1200, I went way over. I ate as many strawberries as I did because they're starting to be a little past their best) 185g apple and 67g plum, steamed, with 125g strawberries and 71g yoghurt. Also 301ml milk (to drink). Subtotal: 307 calories, 16g protein, 59g carbs, 1g fat. 21/76/3

Total: 1380 calories (79%), 86g protein (happy with that), 231g carbs, 15g fat. 2985ml water, 495.9mg sodium (33% of allowance). Final split: 24/65/ 10

(yes! protein higher than fat! :hurray: )
 
I bet that boy who shouted that you have a "fat ass" was hired by the gym... They knew your membership was about to expire and they are thinking of new ways to keep their clients in our current financial climate :)

You are a size 8 for chrissakes! Your arse is most definitely NOT FAT!
 
To be fair, I'm a size 10 (that 8 I bought was too tight on me) and my bottom half is bigger than my top half... but I was standing there trying to stop my 12 jeans from falling down. I know I'm not fat. I just put it down to "some people are dickheads".
 
Looks good Amy1985

One of my little treats is 220g greek yoghurt mixed with 1-2chopped brazil nuts, 100g frozen fruit (bluberries or strawberries etc) and 5-10g honey. Not sure on the calorie count but really boosts your protein for the day.
 
What a dick.
Your arse isn't remotely fat. Stupid person.
Glad you aren't even slightly upset by it, because you know it's untrue.
Good job with the low fat eating today.
I read that under 20g of fat per day is really good for weight loss.
 
Last edited:
Thank you both :)

Iain, I love my yoghurt treats- I never thought to add nuts to them though. I might try to look into the nutritional profile of some nuts and see which ones have the greatest nutritional value per calorie/ fat punch (I'm not sure of the importance of fat- I work very much on "eat less than that number"- but it's incredibly disheartening, particularly growing up in a household of "you must eat low fat or you'll get fat", to eat a very small portion of nuts, record it, and see the "fat" bar on my calorie counter leap to the right (as in, get very high very quickly)).

I'm going to see how it goes, Carrie, I've had a look into it (albeit only online) and I can't find very much info on it. As I said, I'm more of a calories in/ out mindset (that and "nutrition nutrition nutrition") but I would like to eat less fat if it's good for me to do so (and more protein). There are definitely more calories in fat than other macros, so eating lower fat is to a large extent a side effect of lower calorie eating (I think compared to a lot of diets my ~30-35 a day average- 32.5 for the month of May, according to my calorie calculator- is still quite low)

In general this weight loss has made me more secure in myself. OK, I don't see myself physically the way that other people see me (I have body image issues stemming from other mental health problems- to be frank, my dislike of my appearance is a tiny remnant of my old self loathing. It's not healthy either, but it's a heck of a lot better than feeling multiples of that about everything about me)- but I know I'm looking better, and feeling better, because of something I've done. I lost this weight not through sheer dumb luck or getting sick or something outside my control. I am in control of my weight loss, for the first time in my life*, and it's amazing. I don't feel powerless about it anymore.

* mostly. Ignore yesterday's tantrum :leaving:

Slept reasonably well last night. Got about 6 hours- needed more, but it was quality, uninterrupted sleep, which is good.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top