Amiba's journal> it is time to make it happen.

Morning Amiba, yeah like everyone's saying don't give up, keep writing and coming back to the forum, its so encouraging and you really aren't alone you know.

I'm still on training wheels, trying to figure out the basics here but I'm really glad that I stumbled upon your journey. Good on you for having the courage to keep trying through the difficult times. I think you may be a bit hard on yourself, which is all understandable... I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself and so I have to be perfect, a real superwoman.... People here are very encouraging and yes I think its important to share the real stuff and to get it out!

You have my sympathies and my admiration! You go girl... m :)
 

thanks guys for your wonderful words,

the truth is I had the worst semester of my life yet. it was truly HELL and of course, the word diet wasn't on my mind. the good thing is I didn't put on the pounds that badly- maybe just a couple- considering how poorly I behaved. I ate it ALL I was so stressed and I am just glad it is already over :(

so many bad news, so many things went wrong and I can't figure it out yet.
but that is how things are and we have to remain strong... so starting january- I know it seems cliché that my new year's goal is to lose weight, like for the 25688557835 time- but I know the only way I can assure I'll ever achieve my goal is by trying again, and again and again.

anyway I have just one year left at school and a whole month to relax at my parent's house, enjoy xmas, my friends, eat all the yummy things I want and start my diet yet again.

I feel so terrible for not being able to hold in place during these past 5-6 months but the truth is I hardly emotionally survived it and like I said, I am just glad it is almost over and I'll be in the caribbean for a month!

enjoy the holidays have a lot of fun,
and see you guys in january

xoxo
 
well here I am once again
Xmas was crazy!

happy new years and all that jazz :)

I ate ate ate. probably gained around 10 pounds and I SO don't care.. I was so stressed out with a zillion things in my mind. why it is so hard to disconnect my head from the desire to eat food I know does more harm than good to my body?

anyway I know I have to keep on trying right?
there's no point in falling down if you can't get up right after that.

now that I am going back to school I plan on returning to a healthier life style. focus more on that: including more veggies and fruits and cutting back on the carbs and refined sugars, going for more complex meals and the most important part: cutting my portions in half.

I believe one of the best ways to focus on a new lifestyle is keeping myself active. I know when I am ''bored'' I eat. when I watch too much tv, I eat. that's basically what I did this vacation so I ate a lot of stuff I shouldn't. sure I enjoyed every bit of it but my body, not so much

I want to find a job, start working at least part time: 4 hours because I am a full time student and I can't spend more hours.

so my schedule would look like this:


8:00 am: get up, take a shower, breakfast
9:00 am- 1:00 pm work, work work.
1:00 pm- 9:00 pm School!
10:00 a slimfast, shower, homework
11:00 pm BED!

crazy? oh HELL yeah. I'd have to prepare my food the day before so I could bring my meal and avoid eating junk at school or work. what I like is that I will be very busy and when I am busy I hardly eat anything extra. I'd actually have to remind myself to make my 3 meals :D and a snack

I am happy and determined.... I don't want to be depressed. if being chubby is making me feel so insecure and sad all the time it is because my body hates that I mistreat it. I am constantly feeding it with junk, a lot of carbs and sugar, a lot of caffeine and little water.. no wonder I am always constipated!


I am just a year away from finishing school.
it makes me feel excited and scared at the same time because I know it is just the beginning! I want to study my masters at Canada so I will focus on finding a scholarship. I want to be an art director so badly and of course keep focusing on my photography.

but over all I want to finally see those dreadful extra pounds melt for a little bit! just to see what is under me.. to find me.


talk to you guys soon when my schedule starts

Diana
 
Hi Diana,

Nice to see you! I think hanging out here has to be good for us! If nothing else typing and eating at the same time, is next to impossible - so that's gotta be great!

The Carribean - wow - sounds wonderful! I am in a little place called Algies Bay, New Zealand - near Snells Beach, Walkworth - till the first week in Feb - its 3 days in the city and the rest of the week here! Its great being at the beach, walking, swimming, sailing, fishing.... less time for me watching TV, so a bit easier to distract myself away from unhealthy food!

Have just had lots of family leave - so sadly my house is full of junk food! Anyway, gotta keep going like you say!

Catch up again soon, michele
 
you are so sweet, thank you :)
good luck with your diet!

So I am back in Monterrey.
the first step was to clean my house from any junk food and avoid getting it at the supermarket and I passed. my refrigerator is filled with healthy wonders: spinach, skim milk, panela cheese, apples, cranberries, V8 juice, mushrooms, zuchinni, chicken breast, to name a few. I also got tuna, whole grain pasta and some frozen veggies to the mix.
At least it is so cold I don't even want to go out and by anything inappropriate I swear I can't even feel my hands! below zero is below fun for sure. what worries me about this weather is I get the urges of warm comfort food but I am fighting against over eating.

today I actually under ate just because I had to force myself to eat!

had some banana nut crunch cereal and skim milk in the morning

then at about 6 pm I had beans and two tostadas (hard corn tortilla, not fried, baked) also a little diet coke, without caffeine.

oh I had a bunch of dried cactus with chili as a snack (yes we eat that as a snack it is actually pretty tasty and nutritional! lots of fiber)

thinking of maybe having a bit more of cereal or just a tea for dinner.
maybe it isn't much to eat but I will eat better when the weather gets better lol I don't feel like even getting out of my room.. not a winter kind of gal. I tolerate hot weather pretty well but cold just makes me numb and slow

about exercise same thing applies. I hardly move because I am so cold I just want to be under layers and layers of covers in my bed. even my cat that is pretty active hasn't moved! he is curled up in my bed next to me

but tomorrow I start classes which is a great excuse to move at least a bit.


I do want to have a better life. to feel better, lose a little weight
especially the one I put on this vacation
but considering I don't even want to leave my bed it is going to be a tough call! at least I'll mind what I eat and avoid all the lovely junk food I love oh my..

yours truly

Diana
 


today was a so-so day

I didn't have a binging episode, they were common!

I had a blueberry muffin outside what I was supposed to eat but I only had a croissant for lunch so it was ok.
I only wish my carbs were lower but that is the toughest thing for me! I can't picture eating without carbs how crazy is that?

breakfast:cereal with a banana and skimmed milk
lunch: a croissant and Jazmin tea
dinner: whole grain bread with cream cheese and cranberries

yeah loaded with carbs. I bought all these healthy foods I just have to get up and cook them! but I'll work on that tomorrow. I also need to clean up my house that always makes me feel better

what about you guys, anyone reads this boring thing? lol
 
Hey hey, AMIBA! OMG Girl I've missed you, BTW it's RunningGirl. I know I left & deleted a couple thousand msgs. So bad. I'd like to keep up with you if I may? A couple of months back I tried going through your diary looking for your website & just couldn't find it. UGH!

Anyways something really cool in my life has come up, & although I don't remember where in Mexico you are at, I may be down in Cabo Mexico or even San Diego soon with a Volunteer Organization!!

Hope we can connect! Stay Strong!

Lot's O Love <3​

Will still check in for you every few months, Luv. :) If you're still having problems losing, I'd suggest to EAT more & consistently, or try a Raw Diet.
 
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