Ain't nothin gonna break my stride

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hi guys,

I have been bingeing.

It has gotten pretty bad (frequent) and while I have not gained any weight I think, I haven't lost any either and worse it is taking a toll on me mentally and physically.

I am not sure why I am having these issues out of the blue, when I had no issues staying on track diet wise for 6+ months. I am assuming its because I am now at a lower weight and my body is rebelling? But I still have a bunch to lose so I don't know. Could be stress related also, but again, I am usually stressed.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to overcome this please let me know. It is such a shitty feeling and I am sure a bunch of you can relate. And I feel like the binges are escalating in both frequency and calorie count which is scary.

I honestly don't know why i keep doing this to myself. It boggles the mind.

I don't feel defeated right now which is surprising because I binged pretty awfully today 4000+ for sure, but I do feel upset by it and I NEED TO CHANGE.
 
Hi, Julie. I just read back over quite a few of the early pages of your diary to see if you have had any counselling for your binging. I think you may benefit from it. It may also help with strategies for coping with stress. Seeing a nutritionist might be a good idea too. I know that I get the urge to binge if I have not eaten enough in the morning especially. I have protein at every meal & that stops me from getting hungry. I went through a period of Bulimia at a time when we were under huge financial stress when our children were only babies. Our younger son was chubby & as a teen (& older) binged & purged for many years & still has major self-esteem issues. Counselling has really helped him too.
I'm really glad that you don't feel defeated. Recognising the need for change is a good start. You need to be healthy, much more than you need to be skinny. Take good care of yourself hon xoxo
 
Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing well! I am doing much better, and haven't been bingeing, knock on wood. I think I have made really good strides to move on from it.

I wanted to do a post today because I have now lost 22.5 kg / 50 lbs from my highest weight after ~9 months. I am feeling really good about this, although I still have a ways to go. The last time I was this weight, I was 13/14 years old.

My next mini goal is 4 weeks from now - I want to lose 2 kg by then. At that point I will be 2/3's of the way to my final goal :)

I have been eating very healthy, and have been upping my calories and exercise so I feel good from that front. I ordered a measuring tape so I am going to check my waist etc once it comes, I am curious to know what size I am now. I have weird moments when I look at other people and think, wow they are thin... and then find out they are around my current weight. It is kind of a mind eff to be honest, but a good one haha. I am still getting used to recognizing how I look now, vs how I did.

Also, I discovered I actually like to clothes shop, something I neverrr thought i would say. It is so weird how much this extra weight has shaped my personality/hobbies/style/choices etc. I am so glad I am finally getting rid of it!

Also, just want to say I really appreciate the support I have found here. And thanks Cate and LaMa for always lending a helping hand!
 
Hi, Julie. Congratulations on losing 50 lbs hon. I am happy to hear that you have upped your calories & are eating very healthy. Take pride in what you have done. You have come a long way xoxo
 
Hey everyone!

Wanted to overeat on calories today (I am definitely a stress eater) but somehow didn't (did eat shockingly large quantities of foods below though but it was healthy at least!) so very happy about that.

Food:
Peas
Squash
Sweet potato
Broccoli
Bean & veg soup
Blueberries
Lettuce
Noodles

Looking forward to the summerrr. I was waiting until I go down one more clothing size before I buy more stuff but I think I'm going to get some clothes now - it is demoralizing to be wearing this really baggy awful looking clothing.

And thanks cate :) :)
 
Hi guys!

Happy monday! Had a couple questions that I was hoping people could weigh in on:

1) has anyone dealt with people in their life not being happy with your weightloss? How can you help get people on board. I do feel like weightloss, at least for me, is a very selfish and self absorbing thing. But it's what's necessary to be healthy physically and mentally for me. I feel like some people resent the time I put in, as well as not liking change and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Why would someone want me to be bigger again I was very unhealthy, I can see that now especially in pictures.

2) how do you know when you are your goal weight?? I am definitely not there yet but hope to finish the weight loss phase within the next 6 months.
 
Hi, Julie.
My take on people not being happy with your weight-loss-
They are jealous and/or envious, they may feel inadequate & self-conscious of their own weight, they may feel you will move on to brighter & slimmer pastures.....There are so many factors that may be at play. I think when people see you doing so well it's like a mirror is turned on them. This is one of the reasons I turned to the forum 11 years ago. Here, we have the same goals & cheer one another on, rather than feel jealousy.
Re: knowing when you are at goal weight-
At what weight have you felt healthy & just right- not skinny, not chubby, but comfortable in your skin? I personally think BMI is not a good indicator as I know that when my BMI is down to where they say it should be I look malnourished & unhealthy. Take it slowly & you should know when you feel that you have reached your goal weight.
 
Julie said:
has anyone dealt with people in their life not being happy with your weightloss? How can you help get people on board. I do feel like weightloss, at least for me, is a very selfish and self absorbing thing.
Click to expand...
That happens a lot, sadly. Mostly for the reason Cate quotes and sometimes because people are "afraid" once you´re slimmer you won´t feel compelled to put up with their crap anymore. People with healthy self-esteem are less easy to control.
If you have a good connection with your physician maybe you can talk to them about your ideal weight. Generally I´d say shoot for your upper BMI limit first and see how you feel when you reach it. It´s hard to see ourselves objectively but I find it helps to move further away from the mirror/store window/camera. Get a good look at yourself from a distance where you wouldn´t recognize yourself immediately. It makes it harder to focus on your pet peeves and you´re more likely to look at yourself the way someone else would.
 
Those are really good points guys thanks for the perspective.

I have been feeling overwhelmed today by someone in my life who is extremely needy and always seems to be asking more of me and making me feel guilty when I don't drop everything and help them. It feels like its never enough, and that it's expectected so if I am not quick enough I'm blamed and made to feel guilty. It's such a head game and I feel like things have become kind of toxic. I don't know how to get things back on track. This is causing me a ton of anxiety.
 
That sucks Julie. Have you tried communicating how this person is making you feel? It doesn't sound very fair or reasonable to be treated that way to me. Communication is better than feeling so overwhelmed & stressed. It does not have to be a confrontation.
Sending you a hug :grouphug:
 
If this person is acting in good faith they wiil be glad when you speak up - clearly but kindly. If they aren't you'll have to either reduce the amount of time you have for them or get really good at saying no and protecting your boundaries. I may already have recommended it at some point but captainawkward.com has great scripts for situations like these.
 
Hi guys,

I have gained about 3 kgs (very quickly through very large frequent binges these last couple weeks). It is honestly really messing with my head. It is freaking me out and making very stressed, anxious, and triggering a lot of self loathing. And it is also in turn I think fueling more binges, it's a terrible cycle.

I just never want to go back to where I was with my weight. It was awful. And I'm sooo mad at myself for doing this. It's at such a bad time too right before I am going to the beach. And it kills me that 3 weeks ago I was thinner.


I guess i know I can lose this again. And I have to there is no other way to get to my goals, I still have a bunch to lose. But I can barely make myself look in the mirror.

I am starting again tomorrow (which I've been telling myself daily but hopefully writing it here will help).

Where has my willpower gone. I have to be better at this. I hate that my mood is so dependant on this, especially when I can change it.
 
Honey, you can do this. I self-sabotage too. I don't do it intentionally to make myself fat again, but when I get stressed or upset I'm inclined to want to stuff my face. Logic doesn't come into it. Put it behind you & get as healthy as you can for this beach holiday. No rubbish for either of us. :grouphug:
 
You have strategies that worked before. Keep a food diary, on the bad days as well as the good, stop yourself in your tracks when you´re about to gather the resources for a binge and try to come up with something that´s still satisfying but doesn´t have as much calories (be it a bath and a glass of champagne, a bucketload of fresh fruit, a phone call with your best friend or a very spicy hotdog). Also write in your diary regularly. You can do this!
 
Hey guys,

Thanks so much for the support.

This is day 1 of getting back on track and I am going to try and write here every day for the next 6 weeks til I get back on track. I am hoping I can get back down to my prior lowest weight by then.

I am scared to weigh myself; ive decided I won't til I feel more able to deal with seeing it.

Goals for next 11 days:

1) No processed foods
2) Don't eat unless hungry, definitely not til feel sick
3) exercise daily

I will weighin after this probably.

I was thinking about starting to count my macros. I know I can do this, I just have to now. As much as it kills me to havs to lose weight twice it was probably naive to think I wouldn't face this issue at some point.
 
I don´t know anyone who´s been overweight for a significant amount of time, loses it, then doesn´t have to fight to keep it off. We´re all in it for life, no chance for parole.
 
We're in this together Julie. It is a long-term thing & we just have to get used to that idea & try to make new long-term healthy habits.
 
Hi guys,

Thanks Cate & LaMa. We are in it together :) hope you all are doing well.

I have been reading a lot about the benefits of fasting, and I think it could be beneficial for my mental and physical health. I am not doing it to lose weight per se, more to try and break out of my binge cycle. Also, some people in my life suffer from terrible chronic pain and I've read this can help so if I do this and it makes me feel better physically I can recommend it to them.

I just have to stay mentally strong. I know I can do it, just have to start.

If anyone has any experience with this let me know!

I know fasting can be controversial, but I will be going to doctor. My first concern is obviously my health so if it goes south I will break the fast.

Today is day 1.
 
I have tried 5:2 Julie & was successful on it. 2 days a week only having 500 cals & the other 5 days eating to your TDEE. Check it out online . I'm going to have another try on it soon.
 
I´ve tried fasting (5:2) for a while but I got way too sluggish/weak to function normally. But I know someone who´s very successful with just reducing her eating window to 10 hours per day.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top