A work in (constant?) progress

sunkized

sunkized

New member
A work in (constant?) progress - discipline for a procrastinator

Ok. I figure I am the Queen of Procrastinators, so I need therefore to start here, and then afterwards I can look around and go through the forum some more! Otherwise, I am quite capable of being here ten months later and having not posted a diary entry yet!! As details: I am also 28 (turning 29 in September), and live in Madagascar (South East coast of Africa).

My current stats:
Start: Size 50/20, weight: 100 kg/220 lbs
Now: Size 40/10, weight: 75 kg/165 lbs
Target: Size ? (38/8), weight: ? (61 kg/134.2 lbs)

-- How much weight do you want to lose?
I know my "target" is very vague, but that is because as of now I have a definite idea of what I want (a firm stomach, thighs, body in general) but no idea how to quantify it! I could say it's a size, but I still do not know if the size I'd aim for truly would represent what I want, and the weight, maybe I'll find my body firmer and fitter looking before, in which case I plan to stop trying to lose weight and rather trying to maintain the state...

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
The time it takes for it to be done in a healthy way and for it to last last last! I am - logically for me - allowing the possibility to have slight relapses in the future but I do intend for this to be a lifetime change - which means lifetime maintenance... Of course who knows what I'll want for the future...

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
I can tell you right now what my issue is: consistency, sticking to it (I know, that really fits into the previous, doesn't it!), and my workouts. For certain periods, I'm extremely motivated, I workout alternating my strength training (don't know if that's the normal term) and my aerobics (which I do by doing a sort of 20 to 30 mns alternating sprinting and running, or doing the alternate biking).

Foodwise, I feel I've done ok, although I don't follow strict rules, I cook as lowfat as I can, while using lots of vegetables, decent amount of proteins, and try to eat mostly if not exclusively wholewheat carbs. I drink my water, etc. This said, when I'm sick I follow only one rule: getting better! Then again, I'm never that sick nor for that long, so I'm lucky!

Right now it's getting to be a real winter where I am, and that is immensely not motivating: I hate getting out of any covers, and when I do the layers of clothes make my workouts slightly ridiculous! :rotflmao: But I know I can do it, I just have to get myself to stick to it...!

I've attached some progress pictures - my body hasn't changed much since end of 2006 - and my ideal (which I believe is attainable considering my body shape) is (a rap babe that is quite muscular yet very feminine). I don't have a set date for reaching my "ideal" health state, but I do want to feel as if I am constantly making the effort of progressing towards it. I welcome any advice, comments, anything really as I've tired most of my friends and family with my journey, and they have this silly idea that I shouldn't try to lose any more weight!

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
So far this forum has already been quite supportive (in encouragement, and in good advice too! If I allow myself to spread "reps" I think many will be ... over-abundant! lol). When my connexion is dead (it happens here - particularly how I spend my money!!!) I look at my progress pics. I tend to have a hard time evaluating the progress, so I enjoy looking at them to remind myself that, YES, I have made progress!

-- How realistic is your goal?
I think it is... Feel free to tell me otherwise! (please beware: I am quite stubborn, so maybe telling me it's impossible is the best thing you can do! lol).

-- When will you start?
Have started - more regular exercises etc. - from the posting of the original thread and on!
 

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Thank you Steve! You know, I am now going through the challenge when, unless I look at my before and after pictures (and listen to my panicky friends), I seriously have to remind myself that I have indeed lost weight, because for some reason I just don't see it per say, if that seems logical. I can see I need to buy smaller pants (pants I didn't even dream of wearing before), but I feel often as big as I ever was...

Odd, and I know it's in my mind. What scares me is that I'll fall in the pattern of "it's never small enough" (I sometimes catch myself saying things to that effect).

And my natural procrastinating (very very bad-sides of Libras!) tendencies mean that sometimes I indulge to the point where I'm basically slapping my own efforts. The good thing is by the time things get tight (the clothes), I get panicky about the "darn, I worked hard to leave this place, why am I pushing myself back there???" I know it's self discipline (something I chose to apply at my own convenience...!) and persistence that will get me the body I want (and know I can get!).

Well I've been back to a serious (regular) routine since yesterday. I'll try to post regularly. It'll force me to be accountable! I'm afraid that until I get myself back into a routine I don't see myself giving anyone advice! :lol:
 
So I did my workout yesterday evening - I try to alternate upper body/lower body work - and it was an upper body kind of day. I did it to music that gets me wanting to move, and it seemed that helped.
I'm kind of stressed about tomorrow evening as I am going out (socializing), and those are dangerous times for me... eek.

One day at a time!
 
if you plan ahead for those evenings, they become a little easier - just give yourself calories to play with for the day - and just don't go crazy - moderation is a good thing.. and have fun...
 
Back aches

maleficent said:
if you plan ahead for those evenings, they become a little easier - just give yourself calories to play with for the day - and just don't go crazy - moderation is a good thing.. and have fun...
Click to expand...

Maleficent: you read my mind as I was just thinking over how keeping things fun (and interesting) is always an issue with me. This is in terms of workouts, food, etc. I use to bash myself up for "failing" (overindulging), and then going through a "I'm giving up, no use" frame of mind for several days/weeks/months sometimes. Sooner or later I have woken up to think "even if I supposedly fail today, it's up to me to make it up afterwards", but that period where it was all or nothing was hell (and probably not the best for my body!).
I agree with planning ahead. The booze at those evening is often the danger for me - but then again, weight loss or not, I do find that it is necessary for me to learn to find a limit/threshold in terms of how much drinking I do - for health in general! Too many nights out have equated to "drinking to have a good time" as opposed to (the healthier logic, I think) "having fun and drinking a little in the process"!
That's why I'm loving my lifestyle change: it has helped me re-evaluate what I consider healthy for me, question my habits and most of all my dependencies (smoking is one thing I hope to quit at some point!).

I have noticed that as I lost weight I developed more back aches - probably due to my long hated generous chest (I'm making peace with it though! lol), so I'm also trying to work my back muscles harder. I think it's funny because I have had people give me unsolicited advice (in RL) to lose more weight for posture, but I know my weight loss has created a new need to adapt to my current body!
Am also trying not to fixate so much on my butt, my hips and thighs (my largest body parts). I read somewhere that women with those part - bottom of the body in general - appear larger than they are, and find it true when I shop for clothes (salesladies tend to push me towards sizes larger than my own). It's crucial for me to not be about what other think I should lose or not and rather focus on what I find myself happy with.
My entire weight loss journey started when I was attracted to a man and decided I would not (and could not) spend my time focusing on "what does he think?", "wouldn't he rather be with someone sexier/better/thiner?" I'm trying to get to a point where whatever someone tells me, I know I look good for me, and then I can't please everyone! Sometimes I remember this thought, but sometimes... I'm so darn sensitive! :rolleyes:
 
Sick

I'm sick today - seems I've caught a cold or something (sensitive skin, constantly cold, etc).

Will get back tomorrow.
Take care.
 
Thank you MoonGoddess! Had to say, saw the picture on your profile: you look gorgeous/sultry! Wow!
Well I'm not sure I drank enough water yesterday, but I spent most of it sleeping! Today has so far been the same as well: this is what I hate about when I'm sick. I sleep oddly, I eat oddly (I stop feeling like eating which means that I end up having to make myself eat! Avoiding skipping meals is complicated when I sleep every other meal hours). And my body has been sore sore sore! This said: this morning I woke up, put whatever music motivates me in the Zen Nomad (iPod alternative) and just did this alternate dancing (booty shakin')/squats/"balancing the invisible hoola hoop"/more booty shakin' for 30 or so minutes. When I don't know how serious I'll be working out, I try to make myself do something of the sort - an alternate involves me doing arm exercises with my weights while I booty shake. This way I am sure to have fit in at least 1 workout that day.
I don't know how good that is - efficiency-wise. But I am very sedentary, my general day being: wake up, breakfast, PC, lunch, PC, dinner, TV/PC, bed). This is something like 5 days out 7. I am happy with it, but I doubt it's good for those darn glutes (and thighs, and ... more!). My PC is just darn hypnotic!

Well, am off to eat diner (it's 8 PM) - which is a Korean instant noodles mix to which I'm adding a sausage, some soya sprouts and some algae... Hope it tastes good. With that and a 1.5 l of green tea... I should be okay for a little...! (I think?) Hope you all are well.
 
I feel you about the wake up, eat, PC, eat, PC... sounds like my typical day. But I guess that is why I can't eat like I used to & stay the way I used to, cuz I don't move like I used to. :) I figure I have to make a change & do the things that the people who look the way I want to look do. So... I have to struggle to make myself walk for a few miles & am trying again to learn to run. Why can't life just be easy. You envision looking a certain way, say a few words & POOF.. there you are.

We can make it. Just have to keep reminding ourselves of where we want to be... & like you are doing slipping in some unique ways to get our booty shakin.

You are too sweet with the compliments! Thanks.
 
MoonGoddess: I was/am honest! (about the compliments!) Plus you and I obviously shop for similar "negligée"s (sp? love that word though!) That's how I started treating myself as I (learnt) to feel more confident in my body: new underwears and nighties, slips... I even bought a garter-belt (sp???? eek)... I also got a tattoo and a belly button piercing. Slightly silly: no one but me, my mom & my roommate/best friend have seen it (they had to be my "slap me if I faint" buddies), but I like "feeling" like I can...! I figured there were way too many items on my list of "things I will do when I get to goal" for it to be remotely funny! So I decided to start treating myself straight away!!!

I smiled when I read your comment on the PC, eat, PC, etc.! I use to walk and walk and walk (when I use to live in NY - no one looked at me and I had my headphones blasting their music to my ears... here people stare more, which is okay/cultural, but keeps me from enjoying my walk).

Oh my, if it could go away like POOF, that would be incredible! ;)
 
A dog Tale

This is for any dog lovers out there:
I use to live with my mother (I only moved on my own 1 year ago, for the first time in my life and at age 28!), and we found/rescued/took in a total of 3 or so pups (all mutts). Then, as two of those were females and the king (male) reigned supreme in our house (a harem, can it get any more fun), did we have a ball (not) when they both had litters! (can you say that for dogs?) Regardless, we kept many and some were given to affectionate family members!

Well, I have this dog my mother called Billie (like Billie Holliday, my mother's favorite singer). When my mom is on the PC, at night, this dog does this checking in every 15 or so minutes. She comes, stares intensely at whoever is on the PC, then returns to the bedroom. If 15 or so minutes later the person isn't in bed yet, she comes back. When truly irritated with how long either one of us is going to bed, she comes and taps our front arms - keeping us from typing - until we get annoyed enough to stop!

It's really cute but I have a feeling I don't know how to tell the story! I'll post a pic of the lovelies later, I miss them so much!
 
So I seem to have an issue with the 70 kgs (157 lbs) mark. I have come to this weight several times, and have always fluctuated back up from it. This said, I am firmer today at this weight than I have been in the past... I'm trying to look at my (hand)written diary...
In Feb 2007 I was at 77.2 kg (169 lbs) and was a size 42. I am now getting a lose 40 (but then again, my jeans are beat up!!).
I use to weigh myself constantly (at a point: daily) but now I try to space them (the weigh-ins) out, something like a month, and rather try to remain healthy and to judge according to some stiff pants I have. I do believe it is up to me to get my weight below the 70s/157lbs mark, so I'm quite anxious to get that working.

Sometimes I wonder what progress am I really expecting to see since I seem to never see any. I wonder if I should review my expectations (in terms of visual rewards)...? Probably.

Well, on a totally other subject, I'm getting three Tarot decks tonight normally, so I'm looking way forward to that! :D (my thighs are hurting... I feel this is good! ;))
 
What do you do with tarot decks? I've seen some beautiful ones - somewhere on this forum I posted a site (i think in off topic) where you can have your cards read - the cards they use are so beautiful...
 
maleficent said:
What do you do with tarot decks? I've seen some beautiful ones - somewhere on this forum I posted a site (i think in off topic) where you can have your cards read - the cards they use are so beautiful...
Click to expand...

Mal: I both collect and use them. I tend to do readings for myself nearly exclusively, but now with time I am reading with them for others. For me it's like an "old friend's advice", it shows potential directions I can head, things I may have not considered, and then it's up to me what I do with the ideas and possibilities it offers. I've used it for weight loss too: for understanding why I am stuck (getting to the emotional triggers etc.). I'll have to find your post with the links! Indeed, there are some gorgeous ones out there! I'm pretty much buying them all of course! lol Saves me from buying lots of snack I say (but then I look for any excuse to feel good!).
 
Hi Sunkized. You've done a great job so far and look great. Your at the point now where I usually get frustrated and give up. I get to a plateu and feel like its my ending point and my body can't/won't lose anymore. Sometimes it just takes patience and perseverence to keep going even when i seems our body isn't cooperating. Keep up what your doing.

~Jenna
 
Hi Boam: Thank you for the encouragement. Indeed, I can see how this is a long plateau... Since I know I am keen on loosing quickly really, I am currently forcing myself to take the time needed to overcome it. I could be tougher, limit myself more, but limits make me want to break them nearly systematically! So I am just trying to focus on eating well (and enough - I went through several months where I ate strangely, skipping meals sometimes... ouch) and doing my workouts...
 
Mal: Thank you! Went to the site: gorgeous indeed! And I don't even think I believe in Angels (although I do believe in Ancestors personally). Very interesting set of cards I pulled too!
 
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