A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

Aw sweet, unfortunately weight loss doesn't always go the way we want... use it as incentive to push harder this week!!! You can do it lady!! I've had gains and zero losses some weeks, but it's all about the bigger picture.
 
ADAY 114

Breakfast: 2 slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Roast chicken, stuffin, dry roast potato and butternut squash, carrots, swede, cauliflower cheese and gravy
Dinner: ..................
Snacks: Orange, 97 cals crisps, 40g choc, 160 cal ice cream, twix, choc biscuit, options hot chocolate, sherbert lolly!!!!!!!

Exercise: 2.27 mile run.

I was proper gutted that i didn't lose this week and seriously thought about having a 'fuck it' day! BUT........I seem to have just had a slight 'fuck it' evening. I've gone over my calories by 380!!! Whatever!!

I downloaded an app for my phone that tracks my runs for when i do my sunday morning run with Jane. It was really cool. Here are the statistics!!!

We ran 2.27 miles in 30.48 minutes and our pace was 11.41 miles a min. Next week we are going to try and run UP hill !!!!!

Did a lovely roast for lunch but i was good, i did my potato's and squash dry roast where as i did Mark & Jack's in goose fat!!!! I chatted to Jane about my lack of weight loss this week and that helped me. I knew it would happen sooner or later but i still didn't like it. I now only have 2 weeks to lose 3lb to reach my 40lb target by 5th of Nov.

I slobbed in front of the tv this afternon and fell asleep and when i woke up i needed chocolate So i had some, well, a bit more than some. hey ho!!

Lucy Ok, ok i will wear it!!!! Bec's persuaded me to get some high heel knee high boots!!!! Exciting!!! And i will get Mark to take some photo's too. Ya never know there might even be some drunken pics too. They always appear on facebook!! And what you said about paying people a compliment back is a brill idea, i'll give that a go. Thank you sweetie
And another thanks for your kind words, you are so right, it is the bigger picture. I'm just gonna have my chocolate evening tonight and get back on it first thing in the morning :)
 
Well as many times i have slept in the afternoon (something i do rerely) i wake up wanting crap SO BAD......Strange...?

YOu didnt go over so much 380 cals.I dont think its a big deal.Well even if you ate like a crazy woman for a couple of days i still wouldnt think its a big deal cause you are AMAZING so far!!!!Did you enjoy the choc at least?cause up till now every time i have had bad stuff i just dont enjoy it or feel sick right after.
 
Hi Kate, Not losing is maintaining, which is sooo much better than gaining. Re: the compliments- I often say "You too" when people really carry on about how well I look, as distinct from what seems a well-meaning "looking good" comment. I think why I dislike the loud compliments so much is it makes you feel like you were some sort of hideous freak before. Also I think most of us hid behind our fat & like me, probably have never liked being the centre of attention. I am getting used to compliments now & have to still the voice inside me that says I don't deserve them. It gets better with time. It's nice to be paid a quiet, genuine compliment. The loud ones I turn around on them & pay them one right back instantly. It usually stops them dead in their tracks.

Did you download runkeeper? I use that for my walks & it's great.

Kate, thank you so much for coming into my diary & giving me such lovely support. I don't think some people realise how much this can make a difference to how you feel. We keep most of our problems to ourselves so to have someone show unconditional love & support is a great lift to my spirits. Much love sweets, xoxo Cate
 
Awe 380cals over is nothing really! I went like over 2000cals on the first day I was away last week! Argh can't believe it's been a week already, back to reality... If anything, think of it as a boost for your metabolism. You hardly ever go over so I don't really see it doing any damage!
 
AAh, darlin, like everyone says - 380cal over is GREAT for a 'fuckit' day! My expectations were that you'd at least double your daily allowance... isn't it weird that we all do the same thing? Get grumpy that we haven't lost weight, so eat all this crap that wil make us not lose any weight... hmm... we are weird creatures! And Cate is right - you are maintaining! That is also something great to be achieving!

You are SUCH a good chicken for doing dry roast veg while you did the others' in duck fat - WOW! What a good woman you are!

And it is so great that you are running with Jane. It must be great to feel as though you are at the point where you can do this!
 
ADAY 115

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt
Dinner: Leftover Roast chicken etc etc (i dishes up an extra plate, even weighed stuff too)
Snacks: apple and i might have 140 cals of chocolate cos i have 250 cals left of todays cals

Exercise: 100 crunches and 50 bridges.

I didn't go 380 cals over......i didn't stop there!!!! I had another tub of ice cream, another 140 cals bar of choc and a mars bar which is about 260 so i went over by about 940!!!! Whoops!!
I was straight back on track again this morning though, thank god. I was quite worried that i would want to carry on being proper naughty, so pretty chuffed.

Last may i moved practice with the dentist i work with and i thought that when she retires i will stay and work with who ever takes over from her. Anyway, today i found out that if they don't manage to get a VT trainee, then i will not have a job! I was proper freaked out and got really upset. I am much better now but it's still a worry, thinking that at the end of may i might be jobless :( How the hell am i gonna pay the morgage, i am the main wage earner!!!!
I could have used my stress today to go mad with food but i found that i didn't want to, which is good. I also found that i coped with it way better than i would have months ago. I haven't wallowed in self pity, i have even tried to look on the positive side and think about how a change could be good. Get me!!!! Before, when i was really low, i would have brooded on it for days and days but today i was only stressing for a few hours. I am quite proud with how i coped with today :)

I also had some compliments today and i managed to cope with them too. :)

Jasper I have found that i am always mega hungry when i wake up from a nap and that i have no control of what i stuff in my face. Weird isn't it. And yes, i did enjoy the chocolate!!!!! i did feel a bit sick by the time i went to bed but looking at how much i managed to ram into my face, i'm not suprised. It was so worth it though.

Cate Yeah, i suppose maintaining is good but i was sulking like a child. I wanted to have lost (she says, stamping her foot lol)
I suppose I think that maybe i am losing weight so i don't stand out anymore, which is maybe why i am struggling with compliments. i don't want people looking at me. Like you, i hate being the centre of attention.

Lucy A boost to my metabolism!!!!! I knew i troughed that much for a reason :)

Joh Yeah, it is weird how we do the one thing to make it worse huh. I was really gutted though and the only thing that would make it better was chocolate. I was very tempted to have a really naughty roast but managed to talk myself out fo it. Thank god!!!!
It is lovely going running outside thru the woods with someone else. Very different to the gym. I love the gym but it is a really hard workout, i push myself hard and that is all i concentrate on but running outside with Jane was lovely, still hard work but it was nicer, if that makes sence.

Ok i am going to go and have my 140 calories of chocolate :) Just that and no more, i promise!!!! I did think about eating a lot less this week to make up for the damage i did yesterday but i don't think it's a good idea so i am gonna stick to my 1200 a day and see what sunday brings. Oh, i'm due my period this week so i really don't have much hope for losing on sunday!! I so so want to reach my 40lb target by 5th nov, it doesn't look possible now :(
 
AWhat is a VT trainee? Really hope that you still have a job. If not, at least you will have a few months to look for a new one. Thats one hell of a bombshell to be dropped on you. Whatever happens, you will be okay!!!!!!!! x

UPHILL?! Christ woman!!!! :D

I am going a bit blushy and shame faced, because I remember a while back I bumped into my old next door but one neighbour, and she had lost loads of weight and I was properly over the top gushy about it. Eeek. I will try to compliment people more quietly in future in case they feel uncomfortable... The thought didn't go through my mind not to be like that. Ooopps.
 
Sucks to hear about your job! :( however its still pretty OK isn't it? Usually there is a fair amount of work for Nurses, not sure for dental nurse but I would think there is a fair bit. But all the best I hope you guys get a VT trainee.


Still aim for your 40lb by 5th of November; "aim big and you'll hit your potential." IF you hit your goal fantastic, if not don't worry you did your best, and you can move on knowing you've made progress and a helleva lot! you'll get there in the end Kate :)
 
Oh no, I'm sorry to hear about your job! Hopefully it'll get sorted out. A lot can happen between now and May, think positive thoughts!!


On another note... Nothing wrong with 'confusing your metabolism' with a shitload of junk food every now and then :smilielol5:
 
ADAY 116

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisips and a yoghurt
Dinner: Fish, chips & peas (the chips were dry done in the oven)
Snacks: Apple and 2 light crackers

Exercise: 100 crunches, 50 bridges and a failed appempt at my interval run :(

I slept pretty badly last night worrying about the job situation but i'm much better today. I keep telling myself that there is nothing i can do about it right now so it is pointless worrying. Thank you all so much for your kinds words, you're lovely :)

I don't know if you remeber last week i said that i felt really fat, bloated and in need of a damn good fart :eek: well, i have been like it for over a week now and i haven't been for a proper poo either (sorry, lol, too graphic, i know!!!) anyway, i had a thought today about what might have caused it. The weekend before last we did a bit of our shopping in Lidl's, their fruit & veg is mega cheap and so is some other stuff. We bought some of their cheap brand of wheatabix and i have been having them all last week and this week too. When i put the milk on them they soak it up way way quicker than the normal ones we have and i wondered if they are the reason i am so bloated and bunged up so i am not going to have them for a few days and see if it makes a difference, Hopefully it will cos i really can't figure out what is wrong otherwise.

I failed on my run today too cos my stomach was so painful. I am pretty annoyed that i gave up but it really did hurt. I only managed 12 mins of running, how pathetic!!!!! I am gonna go again tomorrow and try again.

Ruthie A VT is a newly qualified dentist fresh out of dental school, They have to do a year in practice under supervision and they need to work with a very qualified nurse.
Aww hun, dont' worry about being all gushy with your compliments, it's just me being a weirdo. Most people love that kind of praise. I did a party the other weekend and there was a girl there who said at least a dozen times 'i've lost a stone and a half at slimming world' and i said nothing lol. It is me who is the weird one....Total headcase :eek:

DMR Heya. I will definatly still try and aim for reaching my 40lb target. I wont beat myself up too much cos i know deep down how well i have done. I suppose as you get closer to goal it is gonna slow down a lot and be far harder to shift the weight but i am determined to keep going. You guys on here are awesome, i wont let you down :)

Lucy i love the confusing the metabolism comment, made me proper laugh out loud. :smilielol5: You crack me up!!!
 
im really sorry to hear about your work.Its difficult NOT to be troubled about it but try to be calm and think that what is going to happen is going to happen for a good reason,whether is staying or leaving.When will you know for sure?


Its not pathetic at all you run for 12 minutes , you where in pain, and tummy pains can really be bad i know.Good thing you thought of the weetabix,cut them out and see if it works.It really important to visit the loo daily!!!
 
Hi Kate, You could try eating a little more fruit each day re the flatulence & "poo problem." Peas & potatoes bloat me up & constipate me so I hardly ever eat them. Some more less starchy veggies, like broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, spinach as well maybe? Make sure you leave the skin on your apple as that also helps. Being bloated & uncomfortable makes you feel awful. I can't wheat-based cereal either or my stomach really hurts. It might be worth trying a gluten-free cereal for a change.

Whatever happens with your job sweetie I'm sure you'll end up employed. It sounds like your work is valued highly. We will always need dentists. Let's hope that a VT trainee will appear very soon but, if not, there is a wonderful job out there just waiting for someone with your skills, experience & personality. I have found most things that I fear, & change is a biggie for me, have worked out for the best by far. Much love, xo Cate
 
ADAY 117

Breakfast: 30g porridge
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cals crisps and a yoghurt
Dinner: Pork steak, french beans, carrots, mash potato and gravy
Snacks: 2 apples & 80 cals of crunchie chocolate

Exercise: 100 crunches, 50 bridges and an effort at my interval run

I have been grumpy and low today. I have tried to be positive but i'm failing a bit. My stomach has been better today, not perfect but definatly better. Hopefully it will be fine tomorrow. I am due my period and i am gonna blame that for my bloatedness, grumpiness and inbility to run!!!!!!!!!!! :(

I don't know why i couldn't do my run all the way thru without walking any of it. I am gonna try and get to the gym again tomorrow and have another go. i feel like a big fat failure today!

Jess I am trying to keep positive but it is hard when i don't know what the future holds. I will know in February.

Cate Since i have been eating healthy and exercising i have been really regular and haven't really had any bloating, this is a first!! I don't like it :( I will get more fruit in and try a different breakfast, thanks for the advice sweetie. And thanks for your lovely kind words about the job situation, i am failing a bit to be positive but i am probably hormonal so that doesn't help.

Sorry for wallowing in self pity.
 
Kate you have been working out so great and going to work , you are a mum a wife and running around all day , plus you are waiting for your period to come , i think its natural for you not to have the strenght to make it throu full way, no reason to feel like a failure, the opposite i shall say,

as always your food is great!i am sure you will feel better and your tummy will be fine for you to get back to normal and just amaze us!!!!!


I always forget to ask.When you cook , do you use oil ? butter? nothing?well nothing is a bit difficult to do!There isnt anything LOW calorie here i can use , and every ove uses olive oil.I was wondering if there is something else
 
AYou are not a big fat failure!!!!!! You are probably just feeling a bit lethargic because your systems all clogged up. Once its running like clokwork again, your running will be like, er, clockwork :)

I bet thousands of VT's graduate every year. I bet you that there will be one willing to join the practise xxx
 
Kate everyone's different on different days- really hate to say it but for women where you are in your cycle can really affect your strength/ pain tolerance/ moods. Probably exactly a year ago, when I was awesomely fit and still studying, I could smash out 6kms in 30mins on one day, and the next I would struggle to get to 5kms. I can get really low blood pressure and low iron though, so I get pretty affected by that too... like feeling particularly weak, if I decided to try and work out anyway (high intensity cardio of some sort) I'd have to stop because I'd feel dizzy. I'm pretty good with making sure I'm getting iron and stuff now, just when I let myself get lazy for a few days and eat only junk food or something I can DEFINITELY feel it.


UHM and HELLO, why are you feeling like a failure??? Looks like you ate awesomely for the day, and you tried your exercise anyway if you didn't feel like it. You kept trucking which is the main thing! And if that doesn't convince you, you've lost freakin 37lbs lady!!!!!!! Just remember how far you've come, not how far you have to go. You worked really hard to get to where you are, don't forget it!
 
A"I am due my period and i am gonna blame that for my bloatedness, grumpiness and inbility to run!!!!!!!"

TOOOOOTALLLLLY.

It was SUCH a huge difference for me when I was doing similar to you... I would want to eat shit (and often did), would just feel so crappy and would be completely unable to do any decent exercise. PArticularly when we were cycle touring, it became SO obvious to me. I'd go from doing 100km a day to doing about 40 and feeling shit the whole time.

Don't worry chickadee, you'll feel stacks better in a few days.
 
ADAY 118

Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps and half a chomp bar (55 cals)
Dinner: Small bowl of pasta bake
Snacks: apple, 8 light crackers (i took them to work so i would have something there if i got hungry but they are scrummy!! whoops)

Exercise: 100 crunches, 50 bridges

I came on this morning.
i didn't sleep very well again last night, i am trying to be positive but when i'm lying in bed my brain goes into 'we're screwed' mode. I have had an up and down day. but mainly grumpy and in pain :( God,i am feeling so sorry for myself today, it's bloody pathetic!!!!!

I have read everyone's diary but i don't feel i can comment today. Thank you for your lovely words people. I will hopefully be in a better headspace tomorrow.

I am now gonna spend the evening trying not to stuff every peice of chocolate i can find into my face!!!!!
 
Sorry you feel bad and are in pain.Its a stresfull couple of days , it will pass things will be better,hang on there so your best.

HOw did you manage the chocolates?did you have any at home?

Wish you get a good night sleep and wake up feeling loads better.


Are you still bloated?
 
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