A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

ADAY 106

Breakfast : 40g Porridge
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo granary sandwich
Dinner: 2 Roast sausages, roast home grown, potato, red pepper and shalotts, carrots, peas and gravy
Snacks: ICED BUN!! and a few softmints

Exercise: Bugger all!!!!!!!

I woke up this morning feeling rubbish, i even forgot to do my crunches and can't be bothered to do them now so exercise is bugger all. I think i have got a cold sort of thing, i am just so tired today and i have a sore throat and a pretty impressive headache. I didn't go to the allotment with Mark this afternoon and i managed to chill for a bit. I had a lovely long bath and then a snooze. I had to do a party this evening and i so couldn't be bother but it was ok. Hopefully i will feel better tomorrow. I am supose to be going for a run with my allotment neighbour in the morning and i really want to do that.

I have some pictures to put on here but can't be bother right now so i will do it tomorrow, i promise :)

Lucy I definatly think you are right about not working out after a meal. I wont be doing it again if i can help it. I know!!! I am so excited about the dresses, i have taken some pictures ready.

Cate Thank you so so much for your wonderful comments. It really moved me, i read it about 5 times. You are so sweet :) It's weird, i don't see me or my diary like that at all.

Joh Thank you, hugs :)

Jess don't worry about not stopping by hun. I know you are having a bad time of it at the moment and i totally understand. As long as you keep posting on yours so we know that you are ok, that's all that matters.
I will put photos on for you tomorrow :) i have taken one of me wearing the size 22 jeans that i kept from my mega huge days too, they look well funny!!!
Of course i will put some pictures of my food if you want to see it. I will take a picture of everything i eat for the next week, just for you lovely. :)
 
Oh nooooo, I hope you feel better soon!!! Rest up, we can both feel sorry for each other lol.


If you are sick though going for a run probably isn't the best idea, you can make it so much worse.


Post pictures when you can, I wanna see!!!!!!!! :hurray:
 
Hi Kate, It sounds like you need a rest & some TLC. I meant every word that I said. "It's weird, i don't see me or my diary like that at all." I'm the same but I have started to realise that I should start seeing myself as others say they see me. It's hard to undo a life-time of not really loving yourself but it sure is worth the effort. Get well soon, xo Cate
 
AMorning all

I woke up this morning feeling fine :)

And.........I've lost 3lb!!!! :hurray: :hurray: I am so excited!! I'm only 3lb away from my nov 5th target of 40lb!!!!! AND i have lost 2 and a half stone!!!!!!!!!!! Whoop Whoop!!!

Thank you for your kindness, i don't know what was wrong yesterday, maybe just one of those days but i feel really ok this morning. i am gonna go for my run but Jane is a novice too so i can walk parts of it if i need to. We are going to run the railway track and we haven't run all of it yet so i am gonna try and run it all, it's about 4k. We shall see.

Check out the new ticker :hurray: :hurray:
 
Wooooooooooooohoooo!!!!! You're doing so well, 3lbs is AWESOME!!! And you've nearly dropped another BMI point. Almost 40lbs too, that's huge!!! :party::party:


And only 16lbs to go too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
aaa katie so happy for you you deserve it so much!!!!You are nearly done you lucky thing!!!!well ok not LUCKY its all the hard work you have put in!!!

Thanks for accepting to put the photos up!I really hope you put the dresses today too!!!!
 
Well done Kate - you are doing fantastically. 40lbs is an amazing thing to have achieved (very very nearly!!!). Good luck with the 4k - I'm sure you can do it, just keep plodding one foot in front of the other!
 
ADAY 107

Breakfast: Mashed banana on 2 slices of granary toast
Lunch: Ham and lettuce granary sandwich with light mayo and a 97 cal bag of crisps
Dinner: Squash pie, bolotti beans, carrots and a some gravy
Snacks: 97 cal crisps.

Exercise: 4k run!!!!!!!! and 100 crunches and 50 bridges

Jess wanted pictures so here is my day of food.
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306935/width/350/height/263 I don't normally have mashed banana on my toast but i was going for a long run.
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306939/width/350/height/263 These are the 97 cal crisps i have. They are kids teddy bear crisps and i love them :)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306941/width/350/height/263 My sandwich and more crisps. I put the crisps in the sandwich...Totally yummy!!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306943/width/350/height/263 This is the first time i have made this pie, it was bloody huge and very scrummy!!!. We are going to be eating it for days! I didn't eat the bolotti beans (they are nice in soups etc but were pretty yuck on their own.)

Was really chuffed with my weight loss. My scales do it to me all the time, say i haven't lost all week and then give me a loss on weigh day. Had a quick breakfast and went for my run. It was amazing!!! We both managed to run the whole way without too much difficulty and we talked all the way too which i have never done before. It felt so so good when i'd finished. We were both so chuffed. We are gonna aim to do it again next sunday and then work towards doing it up the incline too.

We spent the rest of the day making jam and chutney......Raspberry jam, rhubarb and gooseberry jam, courgette relish and beetroot & chilli chutney. Oh and the squash pie. all was grown in our allotment!!!

Ok on to me photo's!!!!

First are a pair of jeans i have kept from when i was a size 22. Not quite sure when that was but it was probably when Jack was about 18 months/2 years old. Excuse the silly face but i was so excited at how totally massive they were :)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306952/width/350/height/540http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306953/width/350/height/631

Next is the original jeans that i tried to get into. I had to cut the head of the photos he took yesterday cos i forgot to smile and they were horrid!!!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306954/width/350/height/607http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306956/width/276/height/700http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306957/width/350/height/560

These are the other jeans, i went to wear them yesterday but they were too loose around my middle!!!!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306958/width/284/height/700http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306959/width/278/height/700http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306960/width/350/height/569

Finally, the dress photo's. I wasn't going to put these on because i don't have anything to compare them too but i thought seeing as i was doing a photo splurge i would.
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306961/width/309/height/700http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/306962/width/284/height/700

I know i do it all the time but i wanna say a massive thank you again. You guys are just awesome. Look what you have done to me!!!! Love and hugs





EDIT I had to take one of the first jeans pictures out cos they didn't fit side by side. I really don't think the lastest photo shows how bagy they are now and i also don't think i look any smaller than last time. I am defintly flabbier as i have excess skin issues!!!!
 
ACOWABUNGA!!!!! Those size 22 jeans are HUGE on you now!!!!! You are getting so skinny AND YOU LOOOK FAB!!!!!!! You have done brilliant girly :D
 
I cant belive those jeans fitted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!I am stunned look how much you have lost its amazing you rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!i was looking and my mouth just droped!!!!Fantastic!!!!

And all of the rest of the jeans look at them now....they wil be to big in a while so start wearing them missy!!!!And the dresses are going to zip up soon so soon!!!!I know they will omg!i am so happy for you!!How did you feel trying those clothes on and seeing the differencE????did your husband say anything about iT?!!!!\]]]]




Thanks for the food pics , i didnt really SEE them cause of the rest of the photos you put up!!!i will check them out closely!!THANKS SO MUCH!!!!
 
Aiiiiiii look at you shrinking!!!! I think it's cool you took pics with the dresses- in a couple of months you'll be able to zip them up, and you'll be able to see how much MORE you've shrunk!!



Beyond words how proud I am of you!! And how happy I am that I can take this journey with you :hurray:
 
Kate, I especially love the photo of you in those size 22 jeans! The look on your face is priceless! It really shows your joy & amazement at how far you have come. I know I'm inclined to look at myself in the mirror, & instead of focussing on how far I've come I see the imperfections. Perhaps it's time I got out my size 22 pants & tried them on. Well done Kate!! You are really focussed & positive, xoCate
 
Looking great Kate - especially the size 22 jeans! I think we can all sometimes focus so much on where we want to be and then feel bad because we aren't there yet - i.e. the goal clothes don't fit quite yet...and forget just how far we have come! So everyone should go try on something from their old weight!

p.s. those dresses are going to look amazing on you and it won't be long til they zip up!
 
ADAY 108

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: Chicken tikka salad with coleslaw (went out for lunch with bec's)
Dinner: Huge peice of squash pie
Snacks: Half a packet of polo's

Exercise: 100 crunches and 50 bridges (forgot to do them this morning so just did them now)

I feel fat! This evening was a bit manic and i just didn't get around to sorting myself any dinner so i just had a slice of the left over squash pie, then another half a slice and it now feels soooooooo heavy in my stomach. :( rubbish :( I actually feel pretty sick!!!! I don't think i have gone over my cals (i counted it at 700) but i feel guilty cos, i don't know exactly how many cals, i didn't eat a proper meal and basically i just rammed it into my face. Am i making sence?, it feels like i really really pigged out on shit loads of crap!!!!!!! I am a control freak now about my food and i didn't have control for that 10 mins and woof.....gone.....So so angry :mad:

Deep breath...........I know you guys are gonna tell me, it's only one thing and to move on, tomorrow is another day and i will but i have mentally slipped with my food yesterday and today. I soooo nearly had a chocolate bar yesterday, i just wanted to scoff it fast, ya know, like i always use to in secret and when i went to lunch with Bec's i really wanted a toasted panini with fried mushroom, bacon and cheese!!!! It took a lot of effort to keep the old Kate down, i had a proper arguement with her!!. I guess i am a bit scared that this is it......This is the end. Please don't let it be that.

Ok, end of self pitying rant!!!!!

My legs ached when i woke up this morning after my amazing run yesterday so i was a good girl and didn't go to the gym. I was going to do a cardio box dvd but Mark convinced me that i really should rest my legs totally today. So i am doing as i am told.
Bec's was lovely today, she asked how i was with taking compliments today and when i said ok she went off on one about how amazing i was looking and how small my frame was. I have known her for about 12 years and she has witnessed my yo-yo diets. She said that this is the first time she has ever noticed my actual frame being smaller!!! :hurray: :hurray:

Tomorrow is gonna be super healther, just salad, fruit and veg. I will be organised and stay on track!!! I WILL!!!!!

Thank you all so so much for your lovely comments about my pictures, i haven't fitted in the massive jeans for about 10 years, so don't think i have lost THAT much weight since july!! lol. I just thought you guys would like to see them.

Jaycandoit Thanks for stopping by. Oh, i still have plenty of muffin top but it is definatly much smaller. Thanks for your support :)

Ruthie Cowabunga!!!!! lol i love that word!! They do look a tad baggy huh. I am waiting for the day when i can fit Jack in there with me, we tried it but legs are too big!!

Jess It is weird, looking at the pictures and seeing the difference in them but i look in the mirror now and i think my brain has caught up with my body cos i stand there and just see my horrid flabby bits. There really is no bloody pleasing me is there!!
Mark is starting to get a little bit bored with me constantly hassling him to take photo's but he plays along. As to what he thinks of my new body, he is a total letch!! constantly groping me, which is lovely. He does moan about my bony bits sometimes though. We were cuddling up in bed the other night and his rib cage was digging into my back, i mentioned it to him and he said 'my ribs have always been like this, you are the one with the bony back' But it is always in joking, he is loving the new body :)

Lucy I would so love to be able to keep going and get those dresses done up, well at least the long one, not so confident with the other one, i have boob issues too (but unlike yours, mine ain't sexy)

Cate Thank you sweetie. when i looked at that photo my face did make me laugh too.
Ya know what, i am focusing on my imperfections too. I am really struggling with my horrible, flabby, baggy skin. I have never got this far before so i really don't know what it is gonna look like when i reach goal. I am trying to tone like a mad person but my stomach, hips and the tops of my legs are horrendous. I think i need to take a step back and, like you said, actually look at how far i have come. Who sees me naked? Mark and he loves my new bod. :) Get a grip Kate!!!

Jjjay Thank you sweetie. Those jeans are the only item of clothing i have kept from 'back then' and it never occured to me that i would have one of those 'fuck, they are friggin massive' photo's. ooooh, i should do a side-on photo, like they do in all the slimming magazines!!!



EDIT I just thought of something else to tell you.......The dentist i work with was off today and i went into work and got loads of jobs done but then half way thru the afternoon i realsied that i was supose to have the day off as 'holiday' god, i am so ditsy :eek:
 
"I feel fat! This evening was a bit manic and i just didn't get around to sorting myself any dinner so i just had a slice of the left over squash pie, then another half a slice and it now feels soooooooo heavy in my stomach. :) rubbish :) I actually feel pretty sick!!!! I don't think i have gone over my cals (i counted it at 700) but i feel guilty cos, i don't know exactly how many cals, i didn't eat a proper meal and basically i just rammed it into my face. Am i making sence?, it feels like i really really pigged out on shit loads of crap!!!!!!! I am a control freak now about my food and i didn't have control for that 10 mins and woof.....gone.....So so angry :mad:"

Sweetie, this happens to all of us at some time. It's a self-esteem glitch. Self-esteem must be built up and reinforced constantly. We will probably all still have relapses from time to time. Keep looking at how far you have come & know that you can keep going. You are proving that to everyone. Possibly you have already moved on from it. It's all a learning process & none of us are perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect person! You are going gang-busters Kate! You have inspired me to follow My Fitness Pal just for a start & moving my diary over here & reading your diary & others has helped get me back on track, xoxo Cate
 
Really is a strange feeling that floods into your brain making you want to eat/taste that delightful treat you know is forbidden (for the time being) IT has happened to me too.. everything switches off and you just focus on scoffing it down fast and enjoying it haha! like a dam addiction... then afterwards it's like did I really do that? dam dam dam! but it does give you renewed focus to make up for it so I don't mind the odd occasion the addiction breaks the surface.


Very awesome KAte, I so glad you managed to get into those jeans and that your old friend has really noticed the loss and complimented ya! Keep it up Kate nearly at the finishing line. Then its the whole new ball game of maintaining.
 
Well its definetly OBVIOUS your new fantastic body!!!!!!!!you dont feel comfy with complimets but you are going to get a lot katie!!!!!!!


Are you going to have another day off cause of you going to work when not supposed too???????how did you manage that?????????i used to loooong for days off!!!Seems your really energetic and of to go arent you?!!!!

As you said it really is ok , but the feeling is still crapy whatever we say about the pie!And even though you probably didnt go over your mind is telling you that it wasnt healthy!!!
 
ADAY 109

Breakfast: 2 wheatabix
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo granary sandwich, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt
Dinner: A peice of my kinda lasagne with salad, a bit of light salad cream and some courgette relish
Snacks: apple and 97 cal crisps

Exercise: 100 crunches, 50 bridges, 10 min walk, week 3 of my C25K run, 5 min steep incline walk, 100 reps on the abs machine, 3x15 peck flye, 3x12 chest press and 3x12 tricep extentions.

First off, some pictures for Jess :)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/307519/width/350/height/263 This is what i have most weekdays, looks boring but i really like it
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/307520/width/350/height/263 This is the PIE!!! I have thrown the rest away! Oh, the plate i use is a childs plate by the way. I figure the smaller the plate the less i can fit on it :)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/307521/width/350/height/263 This is what i had when i went out for lunch with Bec's yesterday, i nearly forgot to take a photo for you and as you can see...I had started!!
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/307522/width/350/height/263 This is what i had for dinner tonight. I made sort of a lasagne but i put loads of mushrooms, peppers and auberguine (never had that before) in it to bulk it up and i only put the tiniest bit of packet cheese sauce on it and no actual cheese, i really liked it and i only had a quater of it so lots of left overs!

I felt so much better today :) Cate's &DMR's comments, which i read this morning, really helped too. It is so weird that i can feel soooo crap one day, thinking that mentally i have lost my motivation and then the next i have turned into a hard core freak again. It wasn't just the fact that i ate this bloody pie, it was that i thought i was slipping, my brain was trying to get me to cheat kinda thing. Today was a totally different matter. One of the girls had brought a bag of bon bon sweets into work and was trying to persuade me to have one 'you can have one can't you?' I was like 'nope, i don't want it' and then a bit later Julie asked me if i wanted a peice of seeded flat bread and i said no to that too, i didn't know the calorie content so wasn't going to have it. Yay!!!!
I am quite embarassed about my self pitying rant yesterday but i know that i need to write it all down on here for me to be honest with how i am feeling and if i am not honest with myself then i can get pretty good at eating something and lying to myself that i have done it.....Again, i don't think i am making sence but that's not unusual for me!!

No more wallowing....positive things now :)

Hygienist Rachel day today....We had a patient in this morning who was in just after i had started my 'new me' we were talking about dieting and exercise etc when she was last in and she walked thru the door today and said 'omg, look at you, well it's pretty obvious how bloody well you have done' It was really sweet, she was really lovely :) I also had another patient mention it today too.
Gym was good, i really miss it on days when i don't go. The last 3 min fast run was hard but i did it ok. I then did some incline walking. Upping the incline by 1 every 30 seconds until i got to 13. I use to really struggle with that before but it felt really good on the backs of my legs after my run, i loved it.

Christmas challenge weigh day today and i am going to go on there in a minute to record my 3lb loss this week!!! Yay!

Cate I feel proper embarassed that i had such a crisis over one peice of pie. People have days of falling off and i rant about pie!! How self absorbed am i...Sorry.
I have come so far, like you said, and i think i am just scared of the thoughts that were creaping into my head, the old thoughts, the old me. Thank you so much for your wonderfully kind comments you're lovely :)

DMR yeah, i scoffed it down fast but it was cold sqush pie, it really wasn't tasty lol I just don't know what happened. I think i was disorganised and in a lazy mood and thought 'ah, fuck it, that'll do' Anyway another day today and i am fine and the rest of the pie got thrown in the bin with some force. Evil bloody thing lol.
Thank you for your lovely comments too mate :)

Jess I am feeling a bit better now about the comments, as long as i can control the direction the conversation is going, If that makes sence. I still done cope with people staring at my body in shock though lol but i'll get there, i have to especially WHEN i get to target!
The day off thing.......How embarassing lol that won't happen again!! I can't just take random days off because i nurse in surgery so when the dentist is working, i am working. We do cordinate our holidays but if she has random days i tend to catch up on jobs but was gonna take yesterday as holiday....whoops!!



 
AWhatthehell! I can't beleive Mark said that. I actually can't beleive that he wasn't winding you up, but if he did really really mean it, then what a cheek! You are doing brilliantly. Not only with the food, but he exercise and your mental attitude.

Looking forwards to seeing the new dress photos :D
 
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