A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

I'm so pleased about your job, I bet that you're feeling a lot less anxious about it now!! Hopefully it'll be all sorted soon and you won't have to worry about it at all!!


Ahh don't you hate days when you have the munchies?? Hope you got through it all good!! Hoping for big losses for both of us this week!!!
 
A:) You know, I just read through the whole last page and the big thing that stuck out to me was you shoving the lid on the choc bickies and hiding them down the side of the microwave. That is AWESOME :hurray:

So happy that you built up the confidence to show people your size 10 dress pictures! And YES you are proper slim like that other woman you look at! Check you out with that black lacey frock - mama mia! Really glad that you are starting to feel better about people giving you compliments. You deserve them, you know that.
 
ADAY 189

Breakfast: 50g porridge (180 cals)
Lunch: left over risotto, 97 cal crisps, cup-a-soup and a banana (378 cals)
Dinner: Chicken, dry roast potato's, carrots, peas, cauliflower, brocolli, stuffing and gravy (474 cals)
Snacks: 2 coffee's, 2 ryvita and an apple (188 cals)
Total calories = 1220

Exercise: Bugger all again!!!!!

I'm struggling!!!!!!!!

I'm really worried that the wheels are starting to fall off and i am so so scared that i will revert back to the old Kate!
Last night after i posted my diary i had the christmas cake then half a giant tube of smarties and a handful of jelly babies!!!!!! Don't go thinking that i did well to only eat half of the tube of smarties, the only reason i stopped was because Mark told me to!!!
I did try and post about it on here last night cos i wanted you all to shout at me but the site was down so i couldn't!
I want to eat everything!!! I'm not hungry, i just wanna eat!

I have been thinking about it at work today and this morning i had decided that i am going to not have any chocolate, sweets, cake or any of the mountain of christmas food still here for 11 days (i am going into hospital on 17th so i thought i would do it up til then) 11 perfect days! But then found myself thinking 'how about starting that on monday' and that is always the excuse i used to not actually start!!!! What the fuck is wrong with me????? I have done really well for 6 months, why am i struggling soooooo much??? Bloody freaking christmas!!!!

I haven't even wanted to go to the gym!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: I know!! :eek: I was supose to go on wednesday and found some excuse, then last night Rachael and Rob might have come round cos they went back today so i used that as an excuse and i didn't go this evening either. No reason, just couldn't be bothered!!! Mark says that it's the post christmas can't be bothered syndrome. I am going to try and force myself to go tomorrow and i am definatly going to go for a run on sunday with Jane. GGGggggggrrrrrrr what is wrong with me?????

My stomach is still all over the place. Do you remember me saying that the Dr thinks that i have IBS? Well, after lunch i started to feel bloated again and i talked to Kirsty (one of the other nurses at work, who has IBS) and she said that it was probably my crisps. She thinks that 'christmas food' has agrivated my IBS and anything slightly fatty or spicy etc will set it off. She gave me the name of some tablets she takes when hers is bad (she's bad at the moment too cos of christmas) so after work i went to the chemist and got them. I had a really long chat to the lady behind the counter and she basically told me that it would be a good idea to cut out all fat etc out of my diet for a little while to give it chance to settle down. So that is what i am going to try to do. Maybe that is the reason i am craving EVERYTHING and lots of it!! I took one of these tablets and it made a massive difference, Yay!!

I know my food looks great today but it has been a real battle to have eaten just that. My dinner was the biggest meal i have had in months, ok, it was mountains of veg but it was still shitloads!!!!! and i ate it soooooo fast, all of it!! I am seriously going to have to really take control of my portion size again. I have told Mark not to let me eat anything after dinner too.

Please, Please, please let me get thru this :(

Positive note........Perfect day 1 done - 10 to go!!

Mady :hurray: :hurray: Yay, go you, getting some trainers!!! That's so cool. There will be no stopping you sweetie (ignore above rant lol)

Princess That's crappy that you have problems with your feet. It might be an idea to mention this when you get trainers. I had great fun when i got mine. wandering around the shop in all these different pairs, jumping up and down too!! I was determined they were gonna be really comfy seeing as i was paying stupid money for them. It was so worth it, they are great.

Lucy Yeah, i feel a lot better about work. still not 100% sure but fingers crossed. The Munchies....I wish it was just a munchies day!!! I'm so scared hun. I don't know what's going on. I want to shovel all of everything into my face and i am thinking about food ALL the time. I have no idea what the scales are going to say, not a clue. I think i might have to go back to weighing every day so i can keep a track of things, maybe that will focus me again. Yes.....I am going to go put the batteries in them in a minute :)

Joh Oh sweetie. I am barely managing to not eat all the junk. I had to do that so i couldn't see them, out of sight out of mind kinda thing. It was lovely showing them my pictures but today i am scared that that's it, i'm going back to heffaville (check out that word lol) I'm thinking 'i knew it was too good to be true' right now :( God, i'm pathetic.

Deep breath and try and get thru the evening without eating anything. i now have to go and cut Jack some Christmas cake :eek:
 
Kate, I'm not into the yelling or telling off I'm sorry. I'm more into the loving you to death stuff!

But!


Only kidding! Sweetie you cannot possibly expect to change your life totally & then not have a bad day every now & then. You are human. A mere mortal. You are one damn fine human & you have done amazing things in the last 6 months. They are just some of many more to come. The world is your oyster Kate & you have everything to look forward to. You are strong and smart & funny & sassy & you will regain control. This is a mere hiccup. A temporary aberration. You won't become a heifer. You won't let yourself! Dust yourself off my sweet friend, pick yourself up & move on. I think you are just LOVELY!

In the mean time cut eating any crap. Indulge in something really yummy & special, rather than crisps or fried food so that you can really enjoy them, knowing they are not as bad. Don't waste your calories on food with very little nutrition.

Your body is your temple.

You must worship at the temple!

You could tell Mark that one! LOL. Do you like dark chocolate? That's my little indulgence once a week & I'm going to try some new ones this year. No crap any more!

Kate, I know you're feeling like shit today and I'm starting to feel better. We must look after ourselves like never before. It's in our hands sweetie & no-one else is responsible for what we do. You'll be feeling good again soon but in the mean-time give yourself a little bit of slack. Try a gentle walk & be kind to yourself. We love you & you MUST love yourself because we are all worth loving. OMG I sound like an old hippie! MWAH! xoxoxo Cate
 
1st of all great news about your job:hurray:im sure thats a huge relief

2nd i think the mood you are in regarding food and exercise is because of the holiday shitty eating....i am there as well..its difficult getting back on track..BUT i'll tell u what i belive.

if this happened last year i wouldnt even care,i would continue to eat bad,promising to start on monday,that would never happen and i would slowly become 100 kg again.

this time though i have gained a little ,feel like crap,i am trying to get back on track today not on monday,i realize this time that gaining a little may lead to gaining a lot,if i dont keep trying every day to pass this obsticle.if i let go now it will be even more difficult tommorow.

if i have eaten real bad today,and i want to eat that last piece of fudge i wont think anymore"whats another 400calories when i have been so bad today"

i will think "i wont eat another 400 cals after been so bad,that dessert is going to put on the pound"

its always difficult getting back to our plan of eating well and working out after stuffing our faces with sugar and fat but just accepting and trying every day,thats what counts.
 
Hey luvvy, I have IBS too. To keep it under control, I take a Probiotic tablet every day, or even 2 if I think I'm going to have a heavier food day. Dairy products affect me pretty badly, as does most junk food... anything really high in fat is pretty bad for it. Caffeine can be pretty bad too... Unfortunately I'm also affected by gluten. Have a look at these websites for a few ideas: http://www.healingwell.com/library/ibs/article.asp?author=vanvorous&id=1

http://www.ibs-life.com/foods-to-avoid-with-ibs.html


Pretty much if I eat dairy, I have to go to the bathroom straight away- it's awful. And if I eat gluten containing products, I usually can't go for several days up to a week. And I just stay really bloated and get really bad gas pains, it's soooo not fun. I don't usually have problems when I'm eating healthy though, so I have an ulterior motive to keep to my food plan!! Also stress, lack of sleep, and anxiety can set me off if I'm being really healthy too... When I can actually exercise it usually keeps me fairly stress-free most days though so I don't really have too many problems.


Sweetness if you're constantly thinking about food have you thought about bumping your calories up a little? You'll lose weight a bit slower, sure, but adding another 200 calorie snack in there won't affect you much and it might just be what you need to curb your cravings. Specially on days you're exercising.


You can do this lovey, don't freak yourself out by thinking you're going backwards. You need to have faith in yourself!
 
ADAY 190

Breakfast: 2 slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite (180 cals)
Lunch: 3 stips of breaded chicken and salad with light dressing (286 cals)
Dinner: Veggie lasagne (232 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffees, 2 kiwi's, 2 satsumas and 2 cereal bars (343 cals)
Total calories = 1041

Exercise: 9k walk :)

I've had a much better day today :) I really think letting off steam about my fears on here yesterday really helped. I think i had been stressing about it to myself all day and really blown it out of proportion. :blush5: I'm really sorry for my lastest meltdown, it has been a while since i had one though :) You guys are wonderful of course, with all your lovely encouragement. I seriously don't know what i would do without you :grouphug:

We had a lovely lie in this morning....we didn't get up til 10am!!!!!!! We had a chat this morning about my 'crisis' and Mark was lovely. He said that i won't go back to where i was, my fear of it shows that and he also sat that all the clothes i have taken out of my wardrobe and put into bin bags need to GO!! So if i do struggle and clothes get tight then i don't have anything 'to fall back on'. It was nice to talk about it, he really does understand my fears but he said he will be strong for me when i am weak, bless him :)

The weather was bright and clear today for the first time in weeks and weeks!!! That lifted me too. So after lunch I decided to take my camera (the posh one i got for my birthday/christmas present from Mark) up the railway line to take some photo's. It's the first time i have gone out with it. I Walked all the way up and back, it was so weird not running it, i really wanted to and had to make myself not run cos i am doing that tomorrow. One thing i noticed was when i got back my legs and bum were so achey!!!! Way worse than when i run, must be using different muscles walking. I took the photo's on the way up (about 200!!!) and then walked fast all the way back :) It was so lovely, i had my 'chill' playlist playing in my ears and i was looking at the world differently, seeing what random things i wanted to take photos of. It was awesome headspace too and i was out for nearly 3 hours!!! I think i really needed it. I am so much more relaxed about food today and have been ok with not craving crap. Today was alot easier...Fhew.
Anyway here are some photo's from today. This is where i go running on a sunday morning :)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332266/width/350/height/467
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332267/width/350/height/90
That's my first ever go at doing a panoramic photo...I was well impressed :)
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332268/width/350/height/263http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332270/width/350/height/467http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332271/width/350/height/263http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332273/width/350/height/467http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332274/width/350/height/263http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332275/width/350/height/467http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332276/width/350/height/263http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332277/width/350/height/467http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332278/width/350/height/467http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332279/width/350/height/263http://weight-loss.fitness.com/image/id/332281/width/350/height/263
Yep....Sheep!!!

When i got home i jumped into a hot bath, i was proper cold and achey, it was bliss :) I then made my veggie lasagne and a meat one for Mark and Jack. I have never made a total veggie one, i usually just really bulk it up with veg but it was well scrummy, got loads left too so will be eating it for another 2 days :)

Tomorrow is weigh day and i don't have a clue if i have lost/gained/whatever i really don't. I was going to get my bathroom scales out but couldn't find a battery so didn't. I think i am ok with whatever it says. I've had an odd week so i think i will just go for it next week.

Ooooooh...Perfect day 2 done!!!

Cate You are such a darling. It really gave me a lift reading your post this morning, you totally melted my heart. You are such a loving, caring Hippie :)

Jess Thank you sweetie. We have to shout at each other to get us both thru this shitty time. I am totally here to keep you going. We WILL do it! This year sweetie, we will get to our targets. We just have to be strong :)

Lucy OMG girl you are just too awesome!!! I checked out the links you put up and they are great, the first one especially as it explains things too. I have tried probiotic yoghurts in the past but they bloat me so i will check out the tablets. Reading the stuff i really think my problem is with fat and high fat dairy. It says to cut out coffee and sweetners and i'm like :eek: NO CHANCE! I will try and cut it down but i have always had them so i will try the obvious first. I thought it was interesting that its good to eat soluable fiber on an empty stomach. I will go back and re-read it but it was a huge help, thank you sooooo much :)
I have been constantly thinking about food but i know i am not hungry, just felt like back to the old obsessive foodie i was, that's why i was so scared. That old Kate was rearing her ugly head!!!
Thanks again for your help sweetie Xx



 
Hi Kate,


Congrats on Perfect day 2! It’s nice to see you got your motivation back.


Wow, your pictures are really lovely. It’s so awesome that you can run in such beautiful surroundings.
 
aaa!!kate its wonderfulll that you are feeling better and you had a FANTASTIC DAY!I love days like this.I would love to take my camera and go out for hours bymyself without any worries just taking pics and enjoying the moment!I am so jealous!!!!

Those photos are really lovelly!The place is so peacefull and beautifull!It seems to be far away from noisy cars and people.

If i do go for a run this week while mario is at school i will take some pics too,just so you can really understand that i have NO PLACE TO ACTUALLY RUN exeptthe highway and backstreets still packed with crazy cars!!!!!If i do manage and find a place pretty i'll post too!Iits a lovely idea to see things like that!I now "Know" where you run!


Would you tell me how you make veggie lasangne?>???How long does it take>?and how many servings>?When you find some time ofcourse!!!!
 
A lot of things on that list I don't have a problem with, like I can usually get away with having a coffee or 2 a day, and the small amount of milk doesn't affect me anymore...but I think that's because I've cut out all other dairy and make substitutes instead, and the probiotic really does wonders. I take dairy free Inner Health Plus, don't know if that's an international brand or not but you should be able to find something similar. Also they actually have their own probiotic of the same brand especially for IBS, but I can't get it up here and it needs to be refrigerated so I can't have it sent either. But the normal one works wonders! I eat cauliflower and broccoli all the time too, and I think that even without junk food my diet is fairly high in fat. Really it's different for everyone what you're sensitive to.


Glad you're feeling more positive today!!


Photos are stunning by the way, lucky you have somewhere so beautiful to run!!!
 
WOW!!

Kate, seriously I love your photos! I think you have a real talent for it. It's a great hobby. I also like that you went for a lovely walk with Mark. I think walking is a great way to chill & enjoy the countryside. It could be an alternative to your run. Where you live looks just lovely. You & I are both very lucky people. I'm also going to eat less red meat. I think it's just a good idea for our health. Mind you, younger women need more. I don't any more Lots of love sweetie, xoxo Cate.
 
AMorning, you awesome bunch of amazing people!! :)

I lost 3lb and i'm chuffed to bits with that!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

I'm off for my run with Jane now.......9am!!! She is a cruel, cruel person! Who the hell sets an alarm to go bloody running on a sunday morning :) ME!! :)

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and my stupid head this week, i love you guys, YOU ROCK!! :grouphug:

Whoop, whoop new ticker and i'm in the teens :)
 
im so happy you managed to loose those 3 lbs!!!!its not a long way now !Hurray for YOU!!!!

Have a lovely run and a lovely day!!!!
 
AWE DID 7 MILES(11k)!!!!!!!

A friend of Mark's said that if we crossed the road at the end, where we usually turn around, it goes on for another mile or so and we did that today!! :hurray: :hurray:
Ok, so we interval ran all the way up, 4 run, 2 walk and the new bit but ran all the way down the normal bit we do. Hopefully it wont be long before we can run the whole way there and back.
Half marathon here we come :)

Ooh, i came on this morning, which explained the mental breakdown a bit. I was quite pleased that it was probably hormones rather than me losing the plot!!

Sat enjoying my 2nd breakfast right now, feeling rather proud of our run :hurray: :hurray:
 
AOMG!!!!! I have just entered The Great South Run!!!!!!!

I must be totally mad!!! My sister in law has already entered and Jane (my sunday running partner) is gonna enter too. It is a 10 mile run on oct 28th!!

I'm soooooooo excited but also rather scared!
 
AHAHAHAHHAHAHA :hurray:
HORMONES!!!!!!!!
Nyah nyah nyah nyah ;) I know I'm the meanest person ever ever, but haha! It feels great to get my own back :)

SO proud of you for entering into that run! October 28th - that is an incredible way to keep yourself motivated! You'll be able to pull of a marathon by then, I have no doubt. You are a machine! Okay, except for one day a month. But that's just predictable. :)

You lost three pounds! I love that you are already ploughing down on that new ticker of yours! :hurray::hurray: That day when you hit a healthy BMI.... you are going to have to plan a special celebration! Maybe a weekend on one of those awesome detox / pampering places.... mmm that's what I'd love to do!

So happy you're on the up again, lovely. Sorry I didn't come round here and give you support on your bad day. xxx
 
ADAY 191

Breakfast: Banana and a cereal bar.
2nd breakfast: 2 slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and jam (390 cals)
Lunch: 2 flatbreads with camembert cheese and a 97cal bag of crisps 391 cals)
Dinner: Veggie lasagne (233 cals)
Snacks: 4 coffees, cereal bar and 2 kiwi's (236 cals)
Total calories = 1250

Exercise: 7 miles of running, some interval :)

Another lovely day :) I was fine about eating today. I feel so so silly getting so stressed about wanting to pig out, and thinking it was all going wrong!! I really should pay attention to when i am due my period!!!!! I might not have freaked out so much :blush5:

I had to set my alarm to make sure i got up cos we went for our run at 9am!!! Stupid freaking time of the day if you ask me! It was a real effort but once we were out it was lovely, so peaceful, all we could hear were birds. Oooh, ooooh we heard a woodpecker while out running!!!! I have never heard one before, other than on TV and saw a squirrel too. I love squirrels they are just the cutest.
We were so proud of ourselves doing a longer run today and we were talking about doing the Great South Run, talking about how we would build up our training, then i got home, had another breakfast (i love my sunday second breakfast, yummy) had a shower and checked out facebook to find that my sister-in-law posted that she had entered the Great South Run and i was so squealy excited so went straight online and entered myself!!!!!!! I toatally can't believe that i am doing this. ME RUNNING 10 MILES on a proper organised run. In England the London Marathon is the most famous and then the Great North Run, then the Great South Run and i am actually going to take part in this awesome event. It's totally freaking me out!!! Also, i don't know if you remember that my sister-in-law never did any exercise until i got her to do the C25K and she is doing it too. It gives me such a lovely feeling to think i have done that for her when my brother has been trying to get her to do any kind of exercise for years and not persuaded her!!!!!

Oh yeah, and i lost 3lb this week!! :hurray: :hurray:

The fact that i have entered the Great South Run means that i have to carry on running and being uber healthy!!!!!! Such a good insentive huh :)

Oooh, perfect day 3 done :)

Mady Cheers sweetie. It is a beautiful place to run and i am so blessed with lots of stunning places nearby.

Jess I'm so embarassed that i had one day where i moaned and complained and stressed followed by a great day. I know that's what our diaries are for but i always feel an idiot afterwards. Going out taking the photo's was just wonderful, i enjoyed it far more than i thought i would and it was really strange at how i was so focused on things to take photo's of rather than the scenery, if that makes sence.
The railway line is at the end of the road i live on and if i walked the other way, that goes down to the sea front and harbour. That's gonna be the next photo trip :) I do live in a beautiful place, i am so lucky.
Veggie lasagne I kinda threw together what i had i the fridge. I fryed (in frylite) 2 onions, 1 and a half peppers, a load of mushrooms, garlic and some mixed herbs. Then added some pasatta and half a jar of Ragu. (I did it in two dishes, one was what i had last night and i had half of the other one this evening.) I sliced an auberguine (eggplant) and put some in the bottom of the dish, covered it with the veg/sauce mix placed a sheet of lasagne on, repeat, then put a tiny bit of cheese sauce on top. I only used 6 sheets of lasagne (2 in the small one and 4 in the large one) This all took about 20 mins to do then i put it in the oven for about 45 mins. You could have smaller portions with salad but i just ate it as it was. It was even yummier today than yesterday and i'm having the last of it for lunch tomorrow :) i supose it would serve 4-6 but it is so low in cals that you could eat loads of it.

Lucy I reckon, after thinking about it, that my main problem is wholewheat on an empty stomach, cream, fat and nuts so i will cut them out and see how i go. I seem ok with fruit and veg, I had cheese for lunch today and that was fine, i'm just gonna keep an eye on what happens when i have different things. Thank you again for your help, you're awesome :)

Cate :blush5: Awww sweetie, you think i have a good eye for photography. Thank you :) I love it and i think i am going to really look into it this year. When i found out about possibly losing my job that is one thing i thought that i would love to do. Maybe i will look into doing a course or something. I do have some lovely pictures that i have taken. I tend not to go for the obvious things, i like the weird look of things.

And Johanna Sargeant :eek: :eek: :eek: You are a nasty, evil, bitchy peice of work!!!!!!! :cuss: How very dare you!!!!!! :cuss: You're not my friend anymore :(
:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: I actually laughed so much reading that post, to the point that Mark looked up with a 'have you gone mad' look on his face. When i read what you had written to him he laughed too. You are such a darling and really put things into perspective for me And yes i do feel totally silly for my breakdown and then finding out that it was probably hormones. In my defence, i am a total headcase and always tend to just let what's going on in my head come out in my diary and you all know it :blush5:
So you should be sorry, not being here for me on my un-necessary breakdown, i think it's disgusting, like i said, you're not my friend!!! :smilielol5: :smilielol5: Ok, seriously, don't stress it sweetie, we all have our lives to lead. I know that if i needed you then you would be there for me. You are a constant rock for me sweetie and i love you dearly (when you are nice :p ) Xxx
 
ALMFAO I (being the special idiot that i am) clicked on 'submit' instead of 'more' for smiley faces!!!!!! I think you would have prefered the silence lol
 
OK then thats easy to make!Thanks so much for the recepie.I LOVE EGGPLANTS and mushrooms.!!!!Think i will make this day after toomorow.I have said before we DONT have cooking spays here in greeece.We have LOADS of olive oil that is used for everything ,sunflower oil for frying,butter and margarine,No low calorie cooking spray.Think i could order?is food allowed to be ordered????i'll check it out.


WELL DONE on your 3rd great day you are again amazing and so determined!I ENVY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(in a good way!!!)

OOOOOHHHH joining the great s.run is FANTASTIC!!!!would you ever imagine that 7 months ago>>>>?????????????????Kate you are amazing!!!!I just hope i like running too and if it works out you do know who i will owe it to dont you???????????????seems you are a true inspiration not only for me but other on here Mady and Cate!!making all of us go running!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Love and kisses kate!!Have a good night rest!
 
Back
Top