A new chapter begins

juni

juni

New member
Hi Folks,

Some of you know me from my earlier diary A diary from India (now if I can figure out how to link this, I will). I was regular here for a few months, and then life happened. My work is very stressful, lots of travelling and then I took on the mammoth task of applying to graduate schools. I stopped being a regular here because I was feeling unmotivated....those who started with me in this forum were losing a lot of weight and I wouldn't even have access to the internet to update, much less eat healthy.

Now my graduate applications are behind, I actually have been offered admissions in the schools I applied to and I have decided where I want to go. I will be in NY this fall. Now I am wrapping things at work here in India, planning, packing. This is a new beginning for me. It is spring and my birthday is in a few months, so I was thinking this is actually a good time start again.

As I head out to school this August, I want to be able to feel healthier and better about myself. I am currently 140.9 lbs, and would like to be 120 lbs by that time. I have about four months (not unrealistic I think), and more time for myself in the next few months (not much travelling).

I started my plan on Monday. I know what my weaknesses are (sugar, bread), and I am avoiding them like the plague. Since Monday I have been eating lots of veggies, nuts, tofu, beans. I will be keeping a log of everything I eat here. When I was in this forum, I had started running and I was REALLY enjoying it. Then I stopped. Now I am back on the c25k program and loving it. I am in the second week. I want to be a runner...and I hope this will help me (runners out there, any insights into the c25k program?).

I hope some of my buddies from last diary will join me. I kinda disappointed you all last time...but this time I am here to stay.

Bon courage!
 
So glad to have you back Juni! I was thinking about you and Anna not too long ago and I'm so glad you are doing well. I understand "life happening" and I'm just glad your back at it! Looking forward to losing with you!
 
JUNI!
great to see that you are back!!! im writing the last exam of my undergrad this saturday and then IM COMING BACK!!!!!!!
sooo glad that u are back as well!
 
yayayaya!!! All my favorite people are here. this makes me feel so motivated.

so a week since i last wrote. i have been travelling for a little bit, which is why i couldn't write. but i have been running and eating really really well. i am still eating very little carbs. on friday i had a little bit of rice, and then saturday i had 1 and half pizza slice. they made me feel guilty for a while...but what's the point? i ate it and it is done, so no point crying over it. i am just gonna be better.

c25k is also going really well. i feel like i am building up my stamina and feel lighter and much better. my muscles are getting back. i feel overall really positive.

today i had fruits for breakfast- strawberries, an apple, some melon, bananas...

lunch was grilled chicken with veggies (i ordered fries on the side but only had one or two). did have some icecream though :( but it was too sweet, so i gave it up.

dinner- cook spinach and some fish.

tomorrow, i am gonna eat more fruits and more veggies again.

hope everyone is doing well?
 
Ate really well today...very proud of myself

B: fruits (banana, melon, apples)
S: Apple and min green tea
L: tomatoes, carrots, bell peppers, cucumbers, cheese salad with balsamic
S: three bread sticks and a little bit of cheese, carrots, a cup of tea
D: grilled chicken with sautéed veggies, some fries and a small piece of dark chocolate

Still on c25K- did week four today and feel great.
 
im trying to eat my meals really slowly....i have read in many places that eating slowly is great for weight loss etc. but i was raised in a family that believed in eating quickly and rushing to do other things...so it is really hard. ugh!!

i don't know if i am dreaming this or what...but i feel my pants were a little lose today. i feel lighter....i am 139.9 lbs today (but that was after breakfast and lots of water).

oh btw, been drinking water like crazy. i always have lots of water, but i have upped my intake even more. i drink around 3 litres everyday now.
 
so i was doing alright til dinner today and then i slipped. ugh. feel really disappointed in myself right now.

B- fruits- apples, watermelon (two big bowls)
S#1- more watermelons
S#2- cheddar cheese, a glass of 2percent milk
L-smoked chicken and cheese sandwich on half multi-grain bread
S#3- three apple pieces with peanut butter
S#4- raw coconut (yum!)
D- chicken with a little bit of rice, sautéed zucchini, spinach, potatoes..

so i had seven small meals, but dinner was the biggest...ugh.

also, my cousin is visiting these days. we are really close, but she's really really obsessed with her weight (at 5 feet she's about 114lbs). she's older cousin, so i have always been a baby around her. when i was growing up i used to be able to wear a lot of her hand-me-downs and i used to be skinner. she still thinks of me the same way, and every opportunity she gets she brings up the fact that i have gained a lot of weight. in the last few weeks she's been here, she has said some really not-so-nice things about my body. it is really annoying.

now i have started getting really really conscious. we went shopping today and i saw myself in the mirror next to her and felt so disgusted with myself. i hate this negative feeling...i hope this is just temporary and will go way. also, i really shouldn't let her get to me, but i feel like i am just not trying hard enough around her. and i hate that feeling...

ok. rant over.

hope everyone is having a fab week.
 
Aw sorry to hear you are feeling that way Juni! I think you should totally take it as motivation to loss the weight for good and show your cousin who's boss. I really don't think you messed up with dinner - there is no way you ate over the numbers of calories for maintaining - just remember tomorrow is a new day and start again. Don't get discouraged! Next time you see your cousin you will show her! Until then tell her to shut her face if she doesn't have something nice to say - say it in a playful laughing sort of way but let her know you mean it! Hope tomorrow is better for you!!
 
I agree with Lisa. Use what she says as fire to push you. I replay all the shitty things people have said about me in my head when I'm working out (or dont feel like working out!) and it gives me that extra push <3
 
Me too! Someone once told me I could never weigh 140 pounds because I don't have discipline and that just made me so mad that I had to prove them wrong! Plus it was coming from a girl who had just lost a bunch of weight herself so she was pretty much telling me she could do it but I can't! Well I'm now 6.2 pounds away from that and I will get there and show her!!
You can do it too Juni - don't let what she said get in your way!!
 
Awww CG, SS. Thank you. I thought about it for a long time yesterday. And you guys are right, i should really use this to push myself. She's leaving in a week and then I don't see her until August when I move to the States, so I will really be fit and show her.

I also had a small conversation with my cousin yesterday. Told her what she said upsets me when she is so negative about my body. I think I have told her off...she was really defensive and said she only says it because she is concerned about me. I nicely thanked her for her concern but told her that the way she tries to tell me is not really working out. I think she's not going to bring the issue up anymore....phew!

Back to being positive, running and eating well. Only two more days till the weekend.
 
hey juni!! kudos to u for talking to ur cousin. hopefully she wont bring it up again.
besides u dont need to lose weight for her. do it for u!! because u want to be comfortable with ur body. of course its added motivation when someone tries to make u believe u cant do it...what do they know???
im so jealous that u are on week 4 of c25k. i havent been for a run in toooo long. im going to try and go out sometime today..the weather here is pretty mild so that should be enough encouragement

so u are moving to the states for good in the summer?
 
Hi Nightrunner- thanks so much for encouragement. You are right, I am doing this for myself, not for anyone else. It is not just the issue of my cousin though. Just the other day CG was talking about her aunt and the comment she made about her losing weight. There will always be people who like to comment no matter what...I think we all need to figure out the way to not let it get to us.

Oh and C25k is going really well. Why don't u join in? The weather must be getting more pleasant there (are you in PA?). I am moving back to the States for grad school for sure this year. After grad school who knows where life will take me. We'll see...

So my day went really well yesterday

B- two big bowls of watermelon
S#1- two apples and some yogurt
S#2- small bowl of cheerios and milk
L- sautéed veggies (cauliflower, zucchini)
S#1- cheerios and milk
S#2- handful of crackers
D- Arugula salad with apples, hazelnuts and homemade dressing (it was yum yum) and a small piece of dark chocolate with marzipan filling for dessert.

So I had seven meals again today. Hahaha...

I am only going to do my weigh-ins every month. That'll keep me motivated and I won't obsess about it. Also, I am counting calories for a few weeks because I want to know what food has how much calories, but other than that I don't really want to because it may get to obsessive. Let see...

One more day till the weekend....!!!:party:
 
Looking good Juni! I'm really glad you talked to your cousin about it and are feeling better. I had to have the same talk with my hunnie because I would be busting my butt and really trying but then I might indulge just a little and he would be so negative - like "you shouldn't be having that", or "your going to regret it now get on the treadmill and burn it off". He really didn't feel that way and thought it was helping me but I explained to him it wasn't helping and I needed him to be supportive and after a good workout be like "good job" or if he seen me having a treat say "ok you earned it". He's getting better at it and still sometimes forgets and I know he doesn't mean what he says and is trying to be supportive - some people just show it differently. Talking to them always helps because it might be really bugging you and they don't even notice and think they are helping.
Keep it up this weekend - consistency is key! Have a good one!
 
hello hello everyone:

things are ok so far. i drank a little too much tonight, but other than that i think i did OK (please note, i did not say good).

Friday

B: 2 cups of watermelon
S: cheerios with 2% milk
L: sandwich: smoked chicken and cheese and salad (carrots, tomatoes, bell pepper, cucumbers on balsamic vinegar)
S: leftover salad from lunch
D: lamb chops with lentil soup
S: marzipan chocolate (half)

Sat:

B: small bagle with cheese
S: Icecream
L: sautéed cauliflower, yogurt
D: two chicken drumsticks, peanuts, chick peas, (a little bit of rice), some lamb currey, cauliflower, kidney beans
S: a piece of dark chocolate
Alcohol: two glasses of white wine

Sunday
B: two bananas
S: a small slice of leftover pizza
L: salad with tomatoes and balsamic vinegar dressing, two pieces of bbq chicken, hommade bbq sauce, black rice with hazelnuts, mushrooms and onions
Dessert (yikes)- some strawberries and creme and a small piece of chocolate mousse cake (couldn't finish the whole thing)
S: two pieces of bbq chicken with sauce and marzipan chocolate
D: roasted chicken (small pices= 3), green beans, salad, one small piece of potato
Dessert (yikes): watermelon and melon with four pieces of dark chocolate
Alcohol: three glasses of red wine

Sunday was really really really bad. But I am allowed one day of cheat day. So I am not gonna sweat it.

I woke up on sunday morning feeling really really great. I had to go to a party on Sat night, but I made it a point to run before dinner. So I ran D3W4 of C25k and it was great great great. I could run for eight minutes straight. My muscles really felt worked, so when I woke up on Sunday morning, I had this most amazing feeling of being lighter (what's that all about?). Although, now when I write this, I do wish i hadn't drunk so much wine and had so much sweet. *sigh* (i will do better next time).

From tomorrow (monday) Im gonna be much much better about food. I have W5D1 tomorrow (a little nervous). back on track....

I had the most amazing weekend- filled with time with friends, my hunnie and lots and lots of quality time. I read a lot, just basically lazed around the house on Sunday afternoon. LOOOOOVe weekends. But I am really really looking forward to this coming week. I have a hard week at work, but I love a challenge. Bring them on!!
 
Hey CG, how did your weekend go? I am off to bed now, but will check more on everyone's journal tomorrow before work to see how you guys are!! Have a great Sunday in that part of the world!!
 
Monday was good. I am sooo proud of myself

B: fruits- an apple, 1 and a half peach
S#1: apples with homemade hummus
S#2- more apples with hommade hummus (i had four apples with hummus, then I went on fitday and checked the calories for hummus and got the shock of my life!!!- they probably have the commercial one there, while i made my own hummus, but I ate a loooot of hummus yesterday and realized that one cup of hummus is about 435 caloreis...holy shit- now trying to stay as far away as possible and if i am tempted i will only eat a little bit. it is kinda sad though, because there's still a big bowl of hummus left) wwaaaaaaaaaaaaah! :(
L: I was sooo full from hummus that I didn't feel like eating
S: carrots
D: carrots, cucumber, tomato salad on balsamic.

I was being tempted by my cousin to have a piece of dark chocolate but i resisted (yay me!).

I ran day two of c25k yesterday and it was AMAZING. really looking forward to day 2.

To all the runners: I have read that strength training is a MUST for runners. Any inputs/insights on this? Thanks.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful wonderful week.

Oh, I don't know if i mentioned it, but i am only going to weigh myself every month. This morning I was tempted to do my weighin and got to the machine and stepped on it, only to realize it wasn't working. someone is telling me to stick to my promises...so i am only going to get the machine fixed in a few weeks when i have planned to do. just as well it is not working...

later!
 
Oh my gosh! I am in love with your journal. <3 You are definitely doing a great job. ^___^
And about the c25k is a great idea. I am seriously thinking of stealing the idea from you as soon as the days will be nicer here.
WE CAN MAKE IT!
 
Little Star, I love c25k and I am really really loving running. You should try it. I am on week five so lets motivate each other

My day was great today

B: apples and peaches
S: almonds and green tea
L (early lunch): sandwich on brown bread with hummus and smoked chicken
S#1: apples with hummus (yum yum)
S#2: fruit smoothie (bananas, strawberries, orange juice and some honey)- it was soo good.
S#3: Some more hummus with almonds and some crackers
Then I went for a long walk (about one hour- today was my rest day with C25k). When I came back I was STARVING! There was some leftover rice from weekend and i ate a few spoonfuls and some almonds (I never have more than 22 a day so it was well below)
D: salmon with brown rice
Dessert: small piece of dark chocolate with marzipan filling
I must have had three cups of green tea and at least 4 litres of water.

I am really happy that I got the walk in today. Now really really looking forward to the run tomorrow. I may wake up early for it. Lets see...

Been reading a lot of journals lately. I have really missed being here. But my journal is kinda lonely. Please leave a comment if you do read-- it really really motivates me. It is always so nice to know that people out there are reading and I feel accountable.

Finally Wednesday tomorrow. SOOOO looking forward to the weekend already (im soo bad).
 
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