A much needed wake up call..

B

Braaap

New member
My life over the last few months has taken me for a very wild ride. One that I haven't enjoyed in the least bit, but maybe it was the kick in the pants I needed to realize that it's time to get my act together. Mentally, emotionally and most of all physically. I'm not here to bore you with my issues though so I'll get on with it!

Through high school I was very average until about my junior year when I gained a little weight. Since then it's been growing and growing. For a very long time I'd get off work and either go to a resteraunt or just grab something through a window so I didn't have to cook dinner and I could just go home and relax. Eating nothing but fast food or terrible things and not being very active built up.

A couple months ago I decided it was time to start doing something about it. I was up to 310lbs and fed up. First thing, I just cut out fast food and soda. That's it. I started noticing that I was feeling better, so I started making better choices with what I was eating. I've tried the dieting thing before and have always jumped in too hard and too fast and went crazy at the gym and fell off of it in no time.

Today I sit at 274lbs. I've been going to the gym pretty regularly and I'm falling into a routine I've noticed. The main thing that I'm working on is not going on a crash diet with huge results and then gaining it all back because I can't live that lifestyle. I'm working on something that is very liveable and fits with my lifestyle. I think if I have somewhere to keep track of my progress and maybe get some encouragement along the way it could help me keep it up and make me focus on the things that are important.

So, here it is, my public weight loss diary!
 
Welcome...wow...stop smoking and trying to lose weight...you are on a roll...way to go on getting healthy!! :):)
 
Up early and back from the gym again this morning. It was one of those mornings I really didn't want to get out of bed as I had a pretty late night but I made myself go. Now, very glad I did. I feel like a million bucks after a shower and headed out the door to work.
 
Well done for getting your ass out of the bed and to the gym!! You should be so proud of yourself, and quitting smoking also?? my gosh thats beyond amazing!! Keep up the great work
 
Well back to smoking today. Had some serious stress and ended up picking up a pack. Not too happy about it but with everything going on lately trying to drop that and change my whole life is a lot to handle at once. Today was one of the more difficult days of my life and I needed some sort of comfort I suppose.

It's strange, I've never been one to let anyone in on my thoughts and weaknesses but for some reason I feel better writing in here, even if it's only been a couple times now. I did however hold to eating well today and had a good morning in the gym, so it wasn't a total loss. I'm looking forward to going tomorrow and relieving some stress on the eliptical and with the weights. I've been into motorcycles for a long time and the thoughts of racing has crossed my mind more than once, but my weight and physical condition has always held me back. That's another big motivation to me. I'm decently fast, but maybe I could even become competitive if I got into some sort of shape. I'm a pretty athletic big guy, but I'm still a big guy.

Aaaannd now I'm rambling, so I'll draw this to a close with this thought..

"A gentleman can withstand hardships; it is only the small man who, when submitted to them, is swept off his feet."
 
Didn't make it to the gym this morning. I slept right through my alarm, must have needed the sleep. Thankfully I woke up in time to get ready for work. Maybe it's a good thing as I'm pretty sore today and my body could probably use a day off to recover a little.

I'm smoking like crazy today. The stress of having to say good bye to the love of my life tomorrow is really getting to me. She's off to start her new life and I've been left behind. This is a big motivational factor in my wanting to be healthy again. When she comes back to visit, is she going to say "He's still the same guy" or can I make her see that things are different. Who knows.
 
Well it's been a while since I've posted. I have been to the gym a few times and I'm still for the most part eating a whole lot better. I haven't weighed in a week or so so I'm not sure on my progress since then. I'm noticing a difference in the way clothes are fitting me however. Everything is getting a bit baggy. And my motorcycle jacket that used to be a little tight with a t-shirt on is now plenty roomy with a hooded sweatshirt on under it, so that's a plus.

I've had some real challenges in my life lately that have had me depressed and looking at all aspects of my life. I know you can only fix things one day at a time but I'm very frustrated, and this has put up hurdles in my way to being healthy. I sit up all night and have gotten out of the routine of going to the gym now in the morning because I'm so tired. I've really got to work on that. I've got to make this my number one priority. I guess it's time to put up a picture of me so that I can show every one and hopefully some day reflect upon and show some progress. Maybe that will motivate me a little more..

Well here it is..

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I know how you feel with the sleeping in :(. I have a terrible time waking up to go to the gym. I managed to go for a month, then bam, I stopped going. I keep trying but, I'm either too tired, or I just...would rather stay home.

My mom once told me a good motivation to lose weight is to picture yourself naked on a motorcycle going down the highway. Maybe that'll help you lol! The truth is, picturing yourself doing things you'd love to do now, and when you lose the weight, can really help. I always daydream about a more fit me, and making all the guys look twice. It's keeping me going.

I believe that, even with all this extra weight, we're only as beautiful as we are on the inside. I think you look great! You'll feel great once you get into shape and reach your goals. My advice, take things slow, go at your own pace. If you have to, focus on the weight first, smoking second. If you try both you might end up falling off the wagon, getting upset, and eating due to cigarette craving. My ex tried quitting, it was hard to see him go through with it.

Good luck! I'll be watching your progress for sure :).
 
Loch said:
I know how you feel with the sleeping in :(. I have a terrible time waking up to go to the gym. I managed to go for a month, then bam, I stopped going. I keep trying but, I'm either too tired, or I just...would rather stay home.

My mom once told me a good motivation to lose weight is to picture yourself naked on a motorcycle going down the highway. Maybe that'll help you lol! The truth is, picturing yourself doing things you'd love to do now, and when you lose the weight, can really help. I always daydream about a more fit me, and making all the guys look twice. It's keeping me going.

I believe that, even with all this extra weight, we're only as beautiful as we are on the inside. I think you look great! You'll feel great once you get into shape and reach your goals. My advice, take things slow, go at your own pace. If you have to, focus on the weight first, smoking second. If you try both you might end up falling off the wagon, getting upset, and eating due to cigarette craving. My ex tried quitting, it was hard to see him go through with it.

Good luck! I'll be watching your progress for sure :).
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Thank you for the words of encouragement! The smoking thing has taken a little bit of a back shelf right now. I don't have the issue of eating because of cravings, I have the issue of becoming a real jerk. And when you work with the public, that's not okay. I have a hard enough time putting on a happy face right now and the lack of nicotine just makes it much worse. I'll give that another shot in the near future. I can say though, that it doesn't feel right getting home from the gym and lighting a smoke. Kinda counter productive.

I'm digging the motorcycle analogy. Something that I can relate to, that always works haha! That is another one of my big motivations. I really want to start racing and being in better shape is going to make that possible. I've been using that as excersize as well. Get home from a day on the dirt bikes and you are absolutely exhausted.

tahuya3.jpg
 
Up early this morning to do some running around so I didn't make it to the gym again unfortunately. Had an apple and an orange so far this morning. Still feeling good, but I definitely need to get back into the gym.

I've had a few people comment today that I'm looking great and they can tell I've been losing weight, so that's good. Just a little more to motivate me.
 
I've completely fallen off my diet and exercise the last four days or so. I need to get back to it. I'm having a rough time with stuff lately and just haven't been motivated at all. Plus I've been extremely busy, so it's been just grabbing stuff that's easy instead of getting things that are better for me.

I'm hoping to get back to it tomorrow.
 
No! Well, you're back again. You just gotta keep getting up and dusting yourself off.

I always used work as an excuse myself. I'd say to myself that I never get a break, and I never have time to make lunch, I work too much, this and that. But then I said enough is enough.

There have been days, even just a few days ago, where I want to give in. I picture myself how I would look after I lose the weight, and I think of all the things I can do and how good I'll feel. You need to keep telling yourself that you can do this.

If you ever feel down, or that this is hard, you can always PM me. I'm always around to try and help people :).
 
Braaap said:
I've completely fallen off my diet and exercise the last four days or so. I need to get back to it. I'm having a rough time with stuff lately and just haven't been motivated at all. Plus I've been extremely busy, so it's been just grabbing stuff that's easy instead of getting things that are better for me.

I'm hoping to get back to it tomorrow.
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Braaap, NOOOOOOO!!! Its okay that you've fallen off the wagon but please continue being in this journey!! You are doing so well, you've just had four bad days!! They meant nothing, its still not too late to do a good week.

YOU CAN DO THIS:):). YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS:):). BUT MADE A FEW SLIPS!

Sorry for the caps but i want to see you continue loosing weight and getting healthier because you deserve a more healthy lifestyle!!

Let us know how tomorrow goes for ya!! IM ROOTING FOR YOU!:):)
 
I'm committed and I definitely intend on getting back to it. I don't want this to turn into a sob story, but since I'm laying everything out there I guess it doesn't hurt to share and in a way it would probably help..

I was recently left by my girlfriend/fiance of 5 1/2 years. The hardest part is knowing that it's my fault and it's too late to fix it. For the last two months she has been in and out and now has finally moved to the other side of the state to attend law school. I was planning on giving everything up and following, but looks like plans have changed. Right after I got very sick and couldn't figure out what was going on. Turns out, I'm diabetic and have been for a while and was doing nothing about it. I was just the typical male who ignored everything and delt with being sick all the time and feeling like crap and tried to supress it.

So at this point I'm battling all fronts, physical, mental and emotional. I'm trying to adapt to everything and this new life and I'm finding it rather difficult. For a couple months I was depressed, constantly sick adapting to new meds and incredibly alone. Now I'm taking control of everything and trying to make the best of what I have. I fall a lot, but I'll get there.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about that :(. Don't think of it as a sob story. I think this is the best place for support, and this is your diary. It's better to have someone to lean on, be it a stranger, or otherwise, than to hold everything in.

My friend was recently diagnosed with diabetes. It requires a lot of change, but a good change. You sound like you have so much to give, and these changes will give you the opportunity to live more than ever. After all, we only live once.

Relationships come and go. I like to believe that there are reasons for a relationship ending. I don't know the whole story, or if it was just a matter of her moving, but there's lots of great girls out there. Who knows, maybe you two will connect again. Even more reason to get yourself in gear :).
 
Loch said:
I'm so sorry to hear about that :(. Don't think of it as a sob story. I think this is the best place for support, and this is your diary. It's better to have someone to lean on, be it a stranger, or otherwise, than to hold everything in.

My friend was recently diagnosed with diabetes. It requires a lot of change, but a good change. You sound like you have so much to give, and these changes will give you the opportunity to live more than ever. After all, we only live once.

Relationships come and go. I like to believe that there are reasons for a relationship ending. I don't know the whole story, or if it was just a matter of her moving, but there's lots of great girls out there. Who knows, maybe you two will connect again. Even more reason to get yourself in gear :).
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The relationship ended because I'm a moron. It is because the person I became. I didn't treat her the way I should have. Not that I was mean, or a d-bag, but because I lost sight of her and what was important. We became friends and roomates instead of lovers. I gained a bunch of weight, I never wanted to do anything, she would cook and clean and be there for me and I unknowingly took advantage. Who know's what is going to happen. As I type this we are texting and things are going well. But that's what is killing me. I get hope and then I'm crushed and then the circle starts again.

The diabetes I can beat. I've already had to reduce my meds because the work I've been doing has changed my body. I'm was in a constant low blood sugar state and had to pull back on the meds because my body is now absorbing the glucose it couldn't before. So the doctors are confident that it will go away as I get healthier. So I feel a little better about that. But it definitely is different.
 
We all make mistakes. At least, unlike most people, you know what you did wrong and you want to change. Relationships are like diets...kinda lol. At least you two still talk. It's hard, I know, I've been there, but if you make yourself better inside, and out, only good things can come from that :).
 
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