A Little More than Useless

I just ate a sweet roll from Costco, I'm pretty sure there were about three hundred calories in it, I couldn't find too much nutritional info about kirklands signature foods online. I still feel bad about eating it, even though it's in my cals for the day. It's full of sugar, but I am just taking baby steps here.
 
the_walrus0 said:
I just ate a sweet roll from Costco, I'm pretty sure there were about three hundred calories in it, I couldn't find too much nutritional info about kirklands signature foods online. I still feel bad about eating it, even though it's in my cals for the day. It's full of sugar, but I am just taking baby steps here.
Click to expand...

It is okay. You are allowed to stumble. If you are incorporating it into your calories that is okay once in a while. The problem with the junk food is that it is usually very calorie dense so it won't fill you up. Plus there is not much nutritional value in it. The thing is not to get hung up on it. Move on and eat better stuff throughout the rest of the day. You will get through all this. As time goes on- the stumbles will be fewer and the benefits will be greater.
 
I have been thinking, I know it's only been a month and I've only lost 11 lbs, but in the long term I know eventually a 2 lb per week weight loss probably isn't going to stay consistent. I am hoping the 2 lbs per week just might continue on until I'm about 160.

I just don't want to get too comfortable with the idea that I can keep eating this way and lose 2 lbs. Because I know it isn't true and eventually I'll have to drop some calories and up my exercise, and I'll do that a few times. I also know that the last couple lbs is the hardest to lose, and I am mentally preparing for that because I've never been my goal weight, so I have no idea what it's like to lose those last stubborn lbs.

It's not all about the number on the scale, I know, but I don't think it's so wrong that I'd really love to see anything between 135-140. I've never been that small in my life. Well, you know, since I knew about weighing and stuff. The lowest I've been since I knew how to weight myself was 165. I wasn't happy there either, but I had a lot of loose skin. Maybe 165 will look better this time around.

Anyways, 135 seems like the magic number right now, but I don't want to get it stuck in my head and freak out if it gets rough along the way.

Well, this is just one of my pep talks to myself. I suppose if I lose 2 lbs a week, or 1 it's going to come off. I'd rather it come off slower than never.
 
If I'm making the conversion from pounds to kgs correctly (I think its about 2 pounds to 1kg), you shouldn't have too much trouble dropping 2 pounds a week for a while. But to do that you might have to gradually lower your food intake. Do you keep a food diary? You will find it easier to drop calories if you can increase your healthy food and reduce the high fat and junk food things.

I see that a lot of what people struggle with is psychological reactions to small weight gains or lapses in diet. I understand this. I did it when i was younger. Now i try to be more relaxed about progress so that i don't get too depressed and disheartened if things don't go so well. The other day i screwed up and just got angry. It was the anger that made me get a grip. I hate being in that angry mode. That's when i decided to start walking again. Instead of getting upset with slow progress, adjust your diet a little. That's why its important to keep a detailed food diary. I wonder about these calorie counting things. I don't do it anymore, though i have done it in the past. I think it just makes you obsessive about food. I think in the long run, its probably easier to be more focussed on the quality of the food itself and whether it is high in fat, saturated fat, sugars and so on.

I also think, you know, that with depression, there may be a hormonal change that gives us a hunger that's difficult to satisfy. Another reason to try to be a bit more detached about the scales in a minute way. If you know what i mean.

Its hard this dieting thing. No doubt about it. The main thing is we are trying. When i give up being vigilant, i slip right back again. So i have to try to keep on being vigilant long after this all becomes habit. That will be tricky then.
 
Try to focus on intermediate goals... Realistically we most likely didn't gain two pounds a week to get us where we are now; it was a long trip up and unfortunately the trip down is even harder! Two pounds a week is great, but you're right, it will probably slow down. And if you're looking at a pound a week and focusing on the end goal, you'll definitely get frustrated! But a pound a week to get you to a mini-goal may be easier to handle. Maybe set up a reward for when you lose the next ten pounds.... But not a food item, haha!!
 
Good Morning,

You can lose 2 pounds a week for a while. I was losing that in the middle part of my weight loss. I definitely had to exercise more though. When you get closer to your goal weight- it will slow down. The lighter you get the less calories you need for maintenance- you can only cut your calories so low so I had to up the exercise. I have now been losing a pound a week even though I have been exercising like a mad man-lol. But at least I have been losing. The last 10 pounds is going to take just about as long as losing 70 but from what I can gather in this forum - that is pretty normal. Remember this isn't a race. Even 1/2 pound a week is still a loss. You CAN do this. Don't doubt yourself. You will get there!!
 
=)

Agh. I seem to have gained a lb, and I don't really know why. I've been eating more sugar, yeah, but I've been exercising more and the sugar was counted into my calories.

I figure I'll avoid sugar for a day or two and see what happens. I'm not trying to rush the weight loss, I guess I just want so badly to say goodbye to 200. It's a number I told myself I'd never see again, and I just went there and beyond. >.< I don't care how long it takes after 200. Well, that's a lie, I'd like to still keep losing, but I won't be so hardcore. 4 lbs a month or 8 lbs a month, I don't care, as long as it comes off.

Anyways, I am trying not to freak out about the scale. I know that's not what this is about. Though, like I said, I am desperately running away from 200. I just don't want to see it anymore. Oh well, I'm getting closer every week.

I've set my cheat day for the month for next week, where I will again be on my monthly. Blah. My least favorite part of life, I figure since that is when I am most likely to binge, if I let myself eat to maintenance one day it'll give me that one day where I can have whatever I want, and hopefully it will remind me that I'm in this for life. I have to enjoy myself sometimes, just not too much and not everyday.
 
the_walrus0 said:
=)

Agh. I seem to have gained a lb, and I don't really know why. I've been eating more sugar, yeah, but I've been exercising more and the sugar was counted into my calories.

I figure I'll avoid sugar for a day or two and see what happens. I'm not trying to rush the weight loss, I guess I just want so badly to say goodbye to 200. It's a number I told myself I'd never see again, and I just went there and beyond. >.< I don't care how long it takes after 200. Well, that's a lie, I'd like to still keep losing, but I won't be so hardcore. 4 lbs a month or 8 lbs a month, I don't care, as long as it comes off.

Anyways, I am trying not to freak out about the scale. I know that's not what this is about. Though, like I said, I am desperately running away from 200. I just don't want to see it anymore. Oh well, I'm getting closer every week.

I've set my cheat day for the month for next week, where I will again be on my monthly. Blah. My least favorite part of life, I figure since that is when I am most likely to binge, if I let myself eat to maintenance one day it'll give me that one day where I can have whatever I want, and hopefully it will remind me that I'm in this for life. I have to enjoy myself sometimes, just not too much and not everyday.
Click to expand...

How often are you weighing? Everyday? If you weigh everyday there is going to be days that you are up and days when you are down. Depends on what you ate the day before- salt can affect the weight big time. Try to weigh just once a week or even once every two weeks. That way you don't have to put yourself through the grief if you are up a pound or two.

You are right as long as you are still going down in weight means you are doing what you are supposed to do. Even if you plateau keep at it- it will come off eventually. You do have to enjoy yourself once in a while but once that is done get right back at it.

200 was my magic number too. It seemed to take a long time to get there but once I hit 199 - it was worth all the effort. You will get there and beyond. Just keep at it. Persevere. You will be at your goal before you know it.
 
I've been on a three day binge.

Not on purpose. The first day was my cheat day and I only went to 2,700 cals which is somewhere around maintenance for me.

Yesterday started off really really well. I was eating good, I have a lot of fruit and water, I was feeling alright and then my dad came home with the most ridiculous amount of food. Pizza, chicken wings, two bags of doritos, a chocolate cake and two bags of candy. I was saving my last four hundred cals for the movie I was going to see, but we were running late and I was just getting so hungry, so I ate just a few chips, which turned into a few chicken wings, which turned into a few slices of pizza. I felt really really awful last night, and then this morning I woke up in a fog and I just started eating the rest of the doritos and candy.

I feel awful. I cried all morning. It's just one of those days where I'm so scared that I won't be strong enough, it's probably the worst feeling I've ever had.

I don't have any notions that losing weight is going to grant all my wishes or make me fall in love, or get me a good job, but I am not happy with myself. I hate the mirror, I hate putting on clothes, I hate going out, I hate looking down at my legs and most of all I hate getting on the scale. I'm only nineteen, and I weigh 226 lbs. I shouldn't hate myself this much, I just shouldn't. I've only lost ten lbs and I've already failed big time. If I can't even be healthy for a month how am I supposed to do it the rest of my life?

I am so tired of being controlled by food! But everyday that I push myself to not eat I feel like I'm carrying a weight around, and when I drop that weight and let myself eat whatever I want it's such a relief, but then that weight is quickly replaced by me knowing that I just ate so much.

I only want to be happy with myself.

I don't want to go on like this, I don't!

Today is rough, and it's only 3:00 pm, haha. Well, tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to go back to what I was doing, because it's my only option. There is no way I can go back to eating what I want all the time. I feel awful right now. I know that everyone, big or small, has there problems, but I feel like I can't even enjoy the little things anymore because I hate myself. In any situation I feel awful. Even at the movies yesterday, I was happy with my sisters and my friend, and the movie was funny, but I kept looking down at my huge thighs and it's like as soon as I saw that all the happiness was sucked out of me and I felt so rubbish.

Agh, I just cried the whole time I wrote this. I know a lot of it is because I am going to start my monthly, but it's also because of the eating and how I just feel like I'm trapped. I feel stuck inside myself, like there's all this weight just hiding who I really am and who I want to be. It's just overwhelming.

The thing is, if I can start again fresh tomorrow and make it through the day, then even this failure won't matter. Three days out of a month is nothing, it just feels like everything right now.
 
Ok, so I broke down. I was a mess this morning. I was crying, I felt awful.

I just spend some time relaxing, I took my vitamins and that made a HUGE difference in my mood. Then I did some lurking around on the internet, wrote an inspirational blog on my tumblr, researched some weight loss success stories and now I am back.

No more feeling sorry for myself! I can't sit and wallow in all the food and the tears, there is no reason for it. Tomorrow is a new day. I looked up how many calories 30 minutes of walking would burn for someone my weight and I believe it's about 130, I forgot, but I'll look again tomorrow. So tomorrow, first thing in the morning, I'm going to do 15 minutes of yoga and 30 mins of walking. I think my lifestyle change is really missing the exercise part.

I've done a bit of yoga, but nothing really committed. It's time to commit, and get my body moving. Active lifestyle doesn't mean active for a few minutes in the morning and on my ass the rest of the day.

So here are my first mini goals.

-220
-215 The lowest I can remember being in a long time is 217.
-210
-Onederland! 199 I'm so excited for this one. =) I think I'll do something really special for this, but for now I'm just holding onto it as motivation.

Those are my tiny goals. I will meet them slowly and steadily, while putting my focus on exercise and feeling better.

Even though there were no responses to my last post, I do know you guys are out there and that really helped me pull myself out of the food coma I was in. I seriously was considering giving up just because it felt like such a big fail. It's not. I'm going to try to weigh myself less than I have been, even though it's hard for me.

Also, I've been stressing about stupid things. Excess skin, stretch marks, the bags I constantly have under my eyes...it's silly to worry about them right now. I'm hoping my under eye bags clear up once I'm eating a better diet and if they don't I'll cross that bridge later. The stretch marks are going to be there regardless, so why would I be worried about them when I lose weight? My life dream isn't to be a stripper, and I'd rather feel amazing in my clothes than feel awful in them. The same goes for the excess skin. I'm young and I'm trying to lose the weight slow, it should take care of itself, and once again if it doesn't I'll figure it out then. All these things are weighing on my mind, and they are unnecessary.

So, that was my uplifting speech to myself. Tomorrow is new and beautiful. ^.^
 
the_walrus0 said:
I've been on a three day binge.

Not on purpose. The first day was my cheat day and I only went to 2,700 cals which is somewhere around maintenance for me.

Yesterday started off really really well. I was eating good, I have a lot of fruit and water, I was feeling alright and then my dad came home with the most ridiculous amount of food. Pizza, chicken wings, two bags of doritos, a chocolate cake and two bags of candy. I was saving my last four hundred cals for the movie I was going to see, but we were running late and I was just getting so hungry, so I ate just a few chips, which turned into a few chicken wings, which turned into a few slices of pizza. I felt really really awful last night, and then this morning I woke up in a fog and I just started eating the rest of the doritos and candy.

I feel awful. I cried all morning. It's just one of those days where I'm so scared that I won't be strong enough, it's probably the worst feeling I've ever had.

I don't have any notions that losing weight is going to grant all my wishes or make me fall in love, or get me a good job, but I am not happy with myself. I hate the mirror, I hate putting on clothes, I hate going out, I hate looking down at my legs and most of all I hate getting on the scale. I'm only nineteen, and I weigh 226 lbs. I shouldn't hate myself this much, I just shouldn't. I've only lost ten lbs and I've already failed big time. If I can't even be healthy for a month how am I supposed to do it the rest of my life?

I am so tired of being controlled by food! But everyday that I push myself to not eat I feel like I'm carrying a weight around, and when I drop that weight and let myself eat whatever I want it's such a relief, but then that weight is quickly replaced by me knowing that I just ate so much.

I only want to be happy with myself.

I don't want to go on like this, I don't!

Today is rough, and it's only 3:00 pm, haha. Well, tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to go back to what I was doing, because it's my only option. There is no way I can go back to eating what I want all the time. I feel awful right now. I know that everyone, big or small, has there problems, but I feel like I can't even enjoy the little things anymore because I hate myself. In any situation I feel awful. Even at the movies yesterday, I was happy with my sisters and my friend, and the movie was funny, but I kept looking down at my huge thighs and it's like as soon as I saw that all the happiness was sucked out of me and I felt so rubbish.

Agh, I just cried the whole time I wrote this. I know a lot of it is because I am going to start my monthly, but it's also because of the eating and how I just feel like I'm trapped. I feel stuck inside myself, like there's all this weight just hiding who I really am and who I want to be. It's just overwhelming.

The thing is, if I can start again fresh tomorrow and make it through the day, then even this failure won't matter. Three days out of a month is nothing, it just feels like everything right now.
Click to expand...

I see you already posted over this but I just want you do know I did read this late last night. Unfortunately I wasn't able to post last night but you were on my mind this morning.

Okay, let's start at the beginning. There is a couple of things you have to learn to do: one is to love yourself no matter what. Look at it this way, what if you had a birth defect. Would you hate yourself your whole life? No, of course you wouldn't. So just because you are overweight, doesn't mean you need to hate yourself because of it This is very important. I know because I spent my whole life hating myself- believe me, all the things you say in this post I have said to myself and worse. The great thing about all this is you don't have a birth defect- you can do something about the weight.

The second thing you really have to do is talk to your Dad. I think I told you before that I have a daughter a little older than you- she is 20. If she came to me to tell me that she was trying to lose weight and my bringing home Pizza, chicken wings, two bags of doritos, a chocolate cake and two bags of candy was causing her pain because she was trying to lose weight- I would stop it immediately. I want what is best for her and I want what is best for you as well. Talk to him- maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing. He will stop- I know he will.

I am going to be honest here. The only way I was able to lose my weight is to learn to love myself first. I know what you mean - I weighed 320 pounds. I couldn't see my toes for God's sake. I know about the fat stomach, legs, ass, double chin, etc. I understand completely. Try something for me. when you are getting ready for the day- look at yourself in a mirror. Really look at yourself. Is there anything you like about yourself? Is that your picture in the avatar on your profile? If so, you have fantastic eyes. Really you do. Reading your posts I can tell you are intelligent, caring, kind. A lot of nice attributes. There are probably a lot more - you are just focusing on the things you think are bad. Focus on the good things. The more you do that- the less significant the bad things will be and then will disappear.

Looking at your second post - you got yourself out of this- that is FANTASTIC!! See how strong you are!!You CAN do this!! I know you can!! Stay strong and committed!
 
I'm back. I was not feeling well or thinking clearly. I was sad and most of all overwhelmed. Today I woke up, did fifteen minutes of yoga and went for a thirty minute walk. I ate very well too.

I feel kind of silly for freaking out now.
 
the_walrus0 said:
I'm back. I was not feeling well or thinking clearly. I was sad and most of all overwhelmed. Today I woke up, did fifteen minutes of yoga and went for a thirty minute walk. I ate very well too.

I feel kind of silly for freaking out now.
Click to expand...

Don't feel silly! We've all been there... I especially can relate to it getting bad before that TOM. But it sounds like you've put it behind you. You can't take back the pizza, so don't stress over it any longer! You're just gaining knowledge, and learning your weaknesses. Just try to use that to your advantage. Next time you're super hungry and there's all that new, delicious stuff around, avoid it and look for something less exciting that's maybe been in the house for a while. Yogurt, fruit, something like that. It'll take a while but you'll find little tricks to help keep you moving in the right direction!! Keep your chin up!!!
 
the_walrus0 said:
I'm back. I was not feeling well or thinking clearly. I was sad and most of all overwhelmed. Today I woke up, did fifteen minutes of yoga and went for a thirty minute walk. I ate very well too.

I feel kind of silly for freaking out now.
Click to expand...

Nice to see you back. Don't worry about freaking out- believe me we all do it at one time or another-lol. Good for you for getting back at it!!
 
I feel so much better about everything now that I'm back on track. My walks are making me feel better and better, even though I started my monthly today. I feel much better knowing that I don't plan on weighing in until next week, every day doesn't feel like I have to walk on eggshells. I think that part was getting a little stressful. I'm just trying to ease into all of this without freaking myself out.

I had a bit of a falling out with a friend today. Since middle school she's kind of treated me like a punching bag. Everything goes her way or no way. I don't often stand up for myself, and since I'm trying to cut out bad foods, alcohol and cigarettes I figure I should cut out some bad friends too. She was mostly a friend during my drug days where I was generally under the influence. I guess it's hard to see who's who during things like that. My real friends have never treated me that way, and I think it's obvious that this part of my life is involving a lot of cleansing, in more ways than one.

And on another life note: I am still looking for work. I know what I want to do in life, which is write, but I need a job while I write, or I need to write for a job while I write books in my spare time. I am sure I'll need schooling, but I just don't have time for it really. I am thinking I could find a job here and work for a year while I save up to move out of state. Once I do that I'll be 21 so maybe I could bartend while going to school.

It's quite stressful though, trying to find a job with little to no experience. I kind of screwed myself by being so crazy when I was younger. I went to cosmetology school and to be honest I just can't deal with the clients. I'm rubbish at interviews! >.<

It's scary and frustrating, but I seem to be dealing ok at least as far as my eating habits while I'm stressing. I'm proud of myself. Anyways, while I'm dealing with a lot I am still working to maintain good eating and exercise. It's amazing, but sadly it is not fixing my other problems. I didn't expect it too, but you know what it's like, working hard for one thing while everything else stays in place.

I just have to apply myself overall. =) I can do this.
 
Bah. I just ate a handful too many of m&ms. I'm not going to take this too hard. Tomorrow I'll get back to my exercise and be fine.

I guess I'm easing into not worrying about things so much, but without completely giving up.

I'm worrying a bit about how I'll deal with eating less than I am now when the time comes, because it seems like it's already so hard. However, I used to eat anything and everything whenever I wanted and am managing at 1,700 right now, in comparison to whatever ghastly number I must've been eating I'm doing really well.

And I suppose it's expected that I'd have a bit of a sugar freakout on my monthly. Oh well, eh? I couldn't have done too much damage.

The 15 minutes of yoga and 30 minutes of walking is really amazing. I think I burn sufficient calories walking, and I'm hoping to turn it into running someday when I've lost another chunk of weight, maybe once I hit 199 I'll start doing the walking, then jogging thing you're supposed to do to build stamina. If I can just keep up this exercise for a few months until then I'll be doing well, I think. I'm trying to do the exercise at least 3 times a week, but I really think 5 is best. I figure I should just get on with it, babying myself isn't going to work well in the long run.

Anyways, I'm feeling better after venting on here.
 
I"ve just been reading your last page which is the last 40 posts or so. Probably less since they are quite long mostly. the last few weeks anyway.

I see you are only 19 and you are struggling with everything but doing a great job with the exercise. I mean you have a lot on your plate so to speak and sometimes it feels pretty rough.

I thought it was great that you ditched that so-called friend. Who needs people like that around you.

I also strongly agree with Cowboy about talking to your dad about bringing lots of food over.

Focus on getting quality into your diet and you will be able to stay off binging and other unhealthy habits for a long time. Learn to cook if you can't already. healthy food is a lot more interesting than oven cooked skinless chicken breast and steamed vegetables. Believe me there is a lot of delicious food you (and us all ) can eat if only we know how. Cooking is not difficult but when you are new at it, it takes a while to develop a feel for what's possible and how to slap up good healthy things easily and quickly.

I think working your diet to a calorie count of your BMR minus 500 seems like the easiest way to go. That way you can make yummy nutritious meals that are satisfying and which will keep you going until the next meal. If i were you i'd look for some meal plans to help you get onto a good sort of program. Some diet books have them.

Aim for something like 2 cups of vegetables a day, preferably using a variety, 2 pieces of fruit, more of both of these if you calorie intake is quite high, oats, milk, unsweetened yoghurt, lean meat, rice, pasta, whole grain bread, olive oil, polyunsaturated oils like peanut and sunflower and other vegetable oils. Raw peanuts are good but moreish. Use them in your cooking rather than snacking on htem, ditto for other nuts and seeds. Cook with beans and lentils. Learn how to cook mediterranean style. Get some books out of the library on italian cooking, spanish and french. Avoid any recipe which calls for lots of cheese, cream, butter, or complicated things like various types of meats. Try seafood. Mediterranean food is my favourite cuisine i must admit. Try also thai, vietnamese, and chinese. Learn how to make sushi. Once you start discovering all this other food, you will see that food is much much more interesting than all the junk churned out of fast food joints. Go to a japanese restaurant for really interesting.

ok enough ranting from me. Good luck and don't give up. give yourself a hug. You are here and that puts you in front.:hurray:
 
the_walrus0 said:
Bah. I just ate a handful too many of m&ms. I'm not going to take this too hard. Tomorrow I'll get back to my exercise and be fine.

I guess I'm easing into not worrying about things so much, but without completely giving up.

I'm worrying a bit about how I'll deal with eating less than I am now when the time comes, because it seems like it's already so hard. However, I used to eat anything and everything whenever I wanted and am managing at 1,700 right now, in comparison to whatever ghastly number I must've been eating I'm doing really well.

And I suppose it's expected that I'd have a bit of a sugar freakout on my monthly. Oh well, eh? I couldn't have done too much damage.

The 15 minutes of yoga and 30 minutes of walking is really amazing. I think I burn sufficient calories walking, and I'm hoping to turn it into running someday when I've lost another chunk of weight, maybe once I hit 199 I'll start doing the walking, then jogging thing you're supposed to do to build stamina. If I can just keep up this exercise for a few months until then I'll be doing well, I think. I'm trying to do the exercise at least 3 times a week, but I really think 5 is best. I figure I should just get on with it, babying myself isn't going to work well in the long run.

Anyways, I'm feeling better after venting on here.
Click to expand...

Don't worry so much about it. You are trying and that is what counts. You have got to cut yourself some slack - but not too much-lol. The more you lose the easier it will be to not give into temptation. Don't be so hard on yourself. You will be okay- you will get through this!
 
=)
Thanks for all the responses.
I am planning on doing my own healthier cooking, but right now I kind of have to work with what my mom buys since I don't have a job.

Tomorrow I have a promising interview at a pet store, so hopefully once I've got a paycheck I can start budgeting for my own groceries and try out new recipes that might help me start to enjoy my lower calorie eating. I do have the hungry girl recipe book, and she has great recipes, but some of her ingredients are hard for me to find.

Actually since summer is coming around I'll be spending a lot more time at the Farmer's Market, which will be helpful.

Right now I am working solely on eating better foods, without really depriving myself. I am not eating 1,700 cals of sugar, but I haven't cut it out completely. I haven't cut anything out completely yet, except I do try to keep away from any bread that is white.

Also, the exercise, I'm really trying hard to keep up with that. Even these past few days, increasing my exercise has made me less hungry. I feel a lot more content mentally after my yoga and walking, and a lot more level headed about my meals.

I'm seeing these steps as a start, and slowly I'll learn new things, and this will definately increase when I have some money to spare to buy some recipe books and ingredients.

My goal is to spend this year moving slowly away from my bad habits, introducing good ones in their place. I can't do it all at once. I have an all or nothing mentality, but I can't keep up with it for long and I know that. I am a creature of habit, and so I have to make my healthy eating a habit.

Anyways, I'm very very excited for tomorrow. If I can start working I'll feel a lot more accomplished. Being unemployed really takes a toll on me. I start to feel like a bum, lazy and a moocher. It's unpleasant, to say the least. Working and earning money is going to give me an amazing confidence boost. I'll also be applying for college and taking classes.

I guess I realized that my whole life I've been a slacker. I've avoided work and I've favored laziness over anything that was difficult, and I never took pleasure in work, I always made it some kind of monster that I was wasting my time for. I see now the doing a good job, earning honest money and putting forth effort to accomplish something that is difficult is ultimately far more rewarding than any amount of time spent on the couch.

Exercising is tough for me, because I am indeed lazy. It feels good to know that if I push I can do something I didn't think I could do. It's a great feeling.

I guess I've figured out my gameplan for awhile. This next year I'll spend working, changing my eating habits, exercising and going to college. Simple enough. I'm going be saving money during this time, because I'd like to leave state sometime next year.

I like to write a lot, if you guys haven't noticed. I basically update to reassure myself, and to affirm my plans. It's nice to write it out. Most of these posts are for me, to keep my going keep me motivated. Even if it's a sad post or an angry post, they are here to remind me why I'm doing this. Which is basically because I'm not happy with myself, my weight, or my health, so I am changing it and I'm doing it the right way this time.

Yeah, another long post, lol. Tomorrow if I get the job, or I think it went well, you'll likely be seeing another post.

I'm trying to not think of this time as me waiting to lose weight, because I am still here right now. I have plans and dreams beyond my physical appearance, and so while I'm working on that I need to keep my life moving in other ways. People can't just take years off to lose weight before they go out into the world, that'd be ridiculous. It's uncomfortable sometimes, but it's another reminder to keep up with it. ^.^
 
Would your mum be willing to incorporate some things into her shopping that help you with your weight loss? One way of doing that might be to offer to make food for your family and ask for your mum to get the ingredients- and then make at least the main part that you'll want to eat low calorie.

Just something that occurs to me.

Good luck with the job interview :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top