" feel like at least focusing on my weight has helped with 1 area of my life."
You know I never thought of it this way..and I should be. Thanks for pointing that out.
I just had a talk with Danny this morning about this..
We were really good friends with a guy in 2008, he was fun, dependable, loved having him around. He was a 4-wheeling, camo wearing, drinking buddy.
He moved in with a woman atleast 13yrs older and he changed...a LOT. She's converted him over to be just like her dead husband..in EVERY way. We do not get along with her. Now, he lies, is ignorant..just not himself. One good friendship (that we'd still love to have back today) gone. I still miss it, think about it all the time.
I'm a VERY emotional/sensitive person. Things hurt me a lot more than the average person and then it stays with me, takes awhile to get over.
We made friends with another couple, hung out all of last year. Had some good times. We realized after a while that we were putting a lot of time and effort into it, we were the ones always planning etc. So we kinda stepped back a little just to see. They didn't come to our Halloween party (for whatever reason) and pretty much dumped us there. They moved closer and we didn't hear from them until we ran into her at a kids birthday party in Feb. How are you friends with someone then not contact them, tell them you moved, gave them your new number for 4 months!? Danny talked to her and acted like it was no big deal just busy....and we still haven't done anything with them (because WE haven't set anything up).
We are more than willing to do our part in being friends. I love to have parties, we love to go 4 wheeling, camping, pretty much up for anything. I just don't think it's fair we have to do it all or it doesn't get done.
Of course there are other issues and some have more details than mentioned...I just want it all to be the way it was before...and it can't be.
Makes me feel like if I'm not worth being friends with, then why bother with myself at all. Danny's said he loves me the way I am. Why struggle and work so hard for a better me, if I'm not good enough now?
Trying to start today off with a more positive attitude but so far it's not happening. I dwell on the past too much, I know this..there are just things I miss...and hate to come to the reality it's gone.
I used to have a positive attitude, it lost me 70lbs..just don't know where to find it right now.
I know when I go exercise this morning, it won't be with the attitude it should be...so how effective will it be?
Sorry for being such a downer but..this is on my mind all the time.