Sorry you have having a hard time, Llama. I am trying not to compare myself to a standard lately, and am just looking at my clothes and seeing what looks ok to wear, and that's been really nice. I like ignoring other people's expectations of what I should look like lately and just focusing on taking care of my body.
Llama
- Thread starter Llama
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Too bad about the extra calories, but yep, some days are just like that. And if you don't feel bad maybe your body needed those extra ones? I often wonder that myself when I go over like that...
Anyways good about the extra water and I hope you got a good sleep.
Llama
Well-known member
Imagine loving your body. Really loving it.
Imagine really loving yourself.
It's so hard.
I was going to delete this, but I will leave it here, because it is how I am feeling. I am sure that if I met you tomorrow, Llama I would think you look fit & healthy & have pizazz. That's how I imagine you. If only we could see ourselves as others do.I was told by my hairdresser yesterday that I looked great, but I just couldn't accept or believe it.
I can imagine it, but when I do I don't look or feel the way I do right now. And that's just sad.That should be the focus. Not "how can I make this single moment as pleasant as possible" but "what can I do right now to invest in myself and my future".
Thanks Liza. My body could probably have done with 500 or even 1000 extra calories but I doubt it needed 2500
I just got back into the habit of having whatever I want, whenever I want it, and that's the truth of it. If I'm being honest with myself I should give up diet soda (because it keeps me hooked on having something sweet available all the bloody time), reduce sweets and chocolate to two reasonable (up to 300 kcal max) portions a week with the exception of chocolate, and limit my calories to 2000 a day. It's that simple and the only thing that's keeping me from doing it is my lack of resolve.Work was hard: cramps were bad and I was out of painkillers. Oh, and I forgot the carb part of my breakfast. And since I'd been on the binge train for a while anyway I just let the momentum carry me forward and binged again for lunch. Visited a friend after and had a lovely afternoon/evening even though it involved more snacks. Feeling blimpy and disgusted with myself right now but not as much as I will in a couple of hours when I wake up feeling like my body is tearing itself apart trying to get rid of the junk in all directions at once. Actions have consequences.
That is hard when we know what we need to do, but it is one of our big crutches for getting through. Sugar is definitely the challenge for me. And once I get a taste of it, it's very hard to stop.
Anyways I'm glad you had a nice visit with your friend even if it did involve some extra snacks. Friend time is so important!
Llama
Well-known member
I'm often torn between trying to figure out the exact reasons and just... needing to tell myself no more often and whine less. Both probably have their place but I rarely know where on the spectrum I currently am.
Once you pop you can't stop... As true for sweets as it is for crappy pressed potato starch snacks.
Had a very low-cal day and am motivated to do well this week. Why? Because today was a cool day so I grabbed a pair of full-length jeans for the first time in... three months, maybe? And they pinched terribly. I'll probably need jeans most of the time when I visit my parents so I have to make this week count or I'll be uncomfortable and likely grumpy while away. Did I mention we're having a chocolate workshop next Sunday? I don't want to be bloated and grumpy for that!
Mildly hungry right now but it's time for bed anyway. At a guess I had maybe 1500 kcal today and around 85 g of protein. Will weigh myself in the morning. Probably won't be completely debloated by then but certainly better than this morning.
alligatorob
Respected Member
That's pretty good!
That is so true, and I'll never understand why...
Good luck with that, I've found sweatpants to be more forgiving than jeans...
You going? A brave woman.
Is Marsia doing belly rubs now? I probably need one, LOL
Yes, belly rubs for all, I say! Good to see you on the forum again Rob!!!
Llama, I hope the jeans are good motivation. And it's nice your system wasn't too thrown off and you are able to do a low calorie day today!
Llama
Well-known member
Sweats will always be workwear for me, although my current boss wants us to wear white. But even without that making them mentally less relaxing women's sweats are rarely mostly cotton these days so my skin disapproves of them as soon as I sit down for more than 5 minutes. Plus of course the ones that are cotton have heavy elastic in the waist (is there a law somewhere saying women's clothes can't ever be truly comfortable?) and where for heavier men the waistband generally goes under the belly for women it cuts right across and my belly hates few things more than a pinching line right across. Jeans at least have the pressure more evenly divided.
It's a gift from my sister. We're taking my mom, the other sisters, two of my BIL's, and two of my nephews. (The youngest doesn't like chocolate
If he hadn't looked like sister's twin for the first 5 years I'd say we weren't related.) It'll be a lot of fun, but it will indeed be hard to keep some semblance of control and not let it derail the entire week. Another reason why I need to be on track this week: my sweet cravings go down when I stick to fruit for a while and I can Thanks Marsia. As long as I keep my eye on the non-pinching prize I know I can do this.
This morning's weigh-in wasn't fun: up 0.8 kg from last week, although some of that is probably period bloat. Assuming a kilo and a half of bloat I could be down two kilos by the time I leave. Just gotta make sure I keep eating enough fat and drinking enough to keep my guts moving because that's always a risk when I reduce calories by a lot.
This morning I was only 6.7 kg away from my high weight (which I can't pinpoint in time but maybe ten years ago?) and the goal is to be at least 15.7 kg away from it so I have at least 9 kg to lose. First goal is 5 though, and those need to go asap to make sure my work pants don't pinch come the end of shorts season.
Saw a patient a while back who told me how unhealthy losing weight was: first they lost a lot of weight quickly doing low fat everything but got hemorrhoids, then they regained all of it (12 kg) in a month going back to normal food so they started high-fat keto but got diagnosed with high cholesterol so now they're not doing anything despite mobility issues.
First off: if you gain 12 kg in a month your normal isn't particularly normal even if half of that was bloat. And second: they got through well over half an average human lifespan without realizing fad diets suck? But then again they were a Putin supporter, so what can I say?
First off: if you gain 12 kg in a month your normal isn't particularly normal even if half of that was bloat. And second: they got through well over half an average human lifespan without realizing fad diets suck? But then again they were a Putin supporter, so what can I say?
Llama
Well-known member
It really is. I even had a warm bath when I cooled down after my hike and it was glorious!
Talked to my pregnant friend for a good while: she's been stressed due to family issues and now the threat of flooding around her ancestral home. (I'm kind of loving the cool, humid weather but I can see that it's getting a bit much when there's flooding in August.) Her body isn't responding well to it all and she's been having more and stronger contractions than she should be having at this point. Early labor wouldn't normally be a major problem at the point where she's at but given the fetus' health issue they need to get to a certain birth weight to have a chance at survival and they're only halfway there. So that's terrifying.
Was very hungry today, as expected, and ate somewhere around 1800 kcal with over 110 g of protein. 2/3 of the calories came from my late breakfast/early lunch. Pleased to report I avoided the golden arches though.
Constipation is already starting to make itself felt. Maybe in part because of dehydration? I've been drinking like a horse, but also peeing like one. Possibly because fewer calories means fewer carbs means less glycogen means less retained water? Either way I'm not reducing my diet soda consumption until the turtle starts moving regularly again.
Tomorrow should be a little easier because I'm doing groups so I won't have time to think about food.
Talked to my pregnant friend for a good while: she's been stressed due to family issues and now the threat of flooding around her ancestral home. (I'm kind of loving the cool, humid weather but I can see that it's getting a bit much when there's flooding in August.) Her body isn't responding well to it all and she's been having more and stronger contractions than she should be having at this point. Early labor wouldn't normally be a major problem at the point where she's at but given the fetus' health issue they need to get to a certain birth weight to have a chance at survival and they're only halfway there. So that's terrifying.
Was very hungry today, as expected, and ate somewhere around 1800 kcal with over 110 g of protein. 2/3 of the calories came from my late breakfast/early lunch. Pleased to report I avoided the golden arches though.
Constipation is already starting to make itself felt. Maybe in part because of dehydration? I've been drinking like a horse, but also peeing like one. Possibly because fewer calories means fewer carbs means less glycogen means less retained water? Either way I'm not reducing my diet soda consumption until the turtle starts moving regularly again.
Tomorrow should be a little easier because I'm doing groups so I won't have time to think about food.
Cate
Long term member
The hike & the warm bath sound good, Llama. I really hope your friend can get through her pregnancy to a safe time 
Would your workplace consider navy & white as a compromise do you think? I think it looks snappy & is much more practical. All blue would be even better.
Doing something together as a family will be enjoyable, Llama, even if it is chocolate related
Would your workplace consider navy & white as a compromise do you think? I think it looks snappy & is much more practical. All blue would be even better.Doing something together as a family will be enjoyable, Llama, even if it is chocolate related
Having clothes that fit right is such a good motivator. I know you can do this, too! The weather here has been so weird - tons of thunder and lightning storms, so much rain, and nice cooler temps finally like you are saying. I hope things go well for your friend and that she can relax and stop worrying soon.
Llama
Well-known member
It's not like I'm getting fired if I wear something other than white but the boss is older and a traditionalist who thinks nothing other than white looks professional in a medical setting. Wearing black pants while on my period would absolutely be an acceptable alternative, but... Who wants to be advertising they're bleeding that day? I still think I'll try and find decent black or dark blue cotton pants that are washable at 90+° C next time I need new workwear though. It's a difficult combination but if hospitals (in other countries; I think ours are still on the white standard) can manage it we probably have options as well.
It's been stormy here as well. I love it, but as I said: when things start to break I understand people stop seeing the positives.
Another hungry day. Better get used to it because I'm going to stay hungry until Saturday at least. To be fair I'm generally mildly hungry when I'm staying with my parents since my mom cooks such low-calorie-density meals and my stomach can't handle the giant portions I'd need to get enough calories unless it's from dessert and snacks. And that's currently a good thing.
Body is starting to get nervous about not getting more calories. Should be ending the day at ~1550 kcal today with plenty of protein. If I'm hungry after work I can add one or two boiled eggs with sriracha.
I hope your friend's pregnancy goes ok--sounds so hard and stressful.
That's too bad that constipation becomes an issue for you once the calories go down. Hard to get all the systems going just right and keeping the body happy!
That kind of made me laugh. Yeah it's not great when everyone's going to know that wearing black means it's period time! Maybe just wear the black pants at random times so no one starts to guess the pattern... Or maybe you can get some other women into the trend--I'm sure there are plenty who aren't appreciating the all white scenario! I sure wouldn't.
That's too bad that constipation becomes an issue for you once the calories go down. Hard to get all the systems going just right and keeping the body happy!
That kind of made me laugh. Yeah it's not great when everyone's going to know that wearing black means it's period time! Maybe just wear the black pants at random times so no one starts to guess the pattern... Or maybe you can get some other women into the trend--I'm sure there are plenty who aren't appreciating the all white scenario! I sure wouldn't.
Llama
Well-known member
Most of us hate the white pants. But the boss is a genuinely decent guy in pretty much all things so we kind of want him to be happy and it feels like such a petty thing to rebel over... Still: the next batch of work pants is going to be dark if I can find some that fit the other requirements. I'm over it. I'd love to have dark green work pants.
I was hungry today. Then I wasn't. Then I was. Back and forth. Which was to be expected. I ended up having grapes after work rather than eggs, which puts me at... Oh, let's just round up to 1700 kcal for the day. Pretty good given my body generally freaks out as soon as I go below 2000. The tension is definitely there below the surface but so far I'm doing it. And I'm kind of proud of the fact that I reminded myself this isn't a war between body and mind: it's a cooperative effort in order to be more comfortable in the future. Honestly my body is a trooper and may be better at this than my brain.
I'm starting work slightly later tomorrow, which gives me time to prep breakfast in the morning instead of right now. Breakfast will be another chicken salad. They vary, I promise! Chicken plus veggies is just a super simple way of making a high-protein meal that feels like a treat without having to many calories. Will have breakfast as late as my schedule allows and then have sushi-and-a-salad for an early dinner. Ideally try and get a run in at some point as well.
Very tired now so off to bed.
I was hungry today. Then I wasn't. Then I was. Back and forth. Which was to be expected. I ended up having grapes after work rather than eggs, which puts me at... Oh, let's just round up to 1700 kcal for the day. Pretty good given my body generally freaks out as soon as I go below 2000. The tension is definitely there below the surface but so far I'm doing it. And I'm kind of proud of the fact that I reminded myself this isn't a war between body and mind: it's a cooperative effort in order to be more comfortable in the future. Honestly my body is a trooper and may be better at this than my brain.
I'm starting work slightly later tomorrow, which gives me time to prep breakfast in the morning instead of right now. Breakfast will be another chicken salad. They vary, I promise! Chicken plus veggies is just a super simple way of making a high-protein meal that feels like a treat without having to many calories. Will have breakfast as late as my schedule allows and then have sushi-and-a-salad for an early dinner. Ideally try and get a run in at some point as well.
Very tired now so off to bed.
Cate
Long term member
I must admit I hadn't paid much attention, but when I thought about it most medical staff in Tasmania wear blue. I know they do at our local medical centre. I looked it up just to be sure. They always look smart.
https://www.mediscrubs.com.au/uniform-bundles/tasmania/royal-hobart-hospital/
You are doing very well at the moment, Llama dealing with your hunger in a healthy way xo
https://www.mediscrubs.com.au/uniform-bundles/tasmania/royal-hobart-hospital/
You are doing very well at the moment, Llama dealing with your hunger in a healthy way xo