Llama

liza3 said:
Finding our ways to reasonable amounts--such a worthwhile challenge. Way better than having to give it up altogether I think.
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I agree. It's so hard though! But I'm sure I can learn.
Cate said:
How is your weekend going, Llama?
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Was doing well but came back from a walk with a friend completely exhausted (we didn't walk far) and used it as an excuse to get not one but two slices of cake on my way home. Then this morning I walked for literally 15 minutes in my new shoes and got a blister on each heel. So there's that.
Marsia said:
I think it's so strange how much of the medical and psychological fields don't take each other into consideration. I hope the mind/body connection gets given a lot more research attention in the future. As far as what I am reading lately (Gabor Matte in particular), it does look really promising.
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I can't speak for other medical fields but it was quite a big topic and a mandatory subject when I was in training 20+ years ago so maybe it's more that people tend to feel insecure with crossover stuff so they hyperfocus on the stuff they do know a lot about and convince themselves the other things can't be that important?
 
Llama said:
I can't speak for other medical fields but it was quite a big topic and a mandatory subject when I was in training 20+ years ago so maybe it's more that people tend to feel insecure with crossover stuff so they hyperfocus on the stuff they do know a lot about and convince themselves the other things can't be that important?
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Here the medical profession is not trained in how stress and anxiety affect health. They are trained in using pharmaceuticals instead. There is a lot of research in the field of psychology showing mind/body connections to health, but the medical profession does not seem, for the most part, to utilize this research. It's definitely better in many other health related professions, but insurance often does not pay for these types of treatments. We are getting more wellness centers now though, so hopefully the people in them will get training like you did!
 
There are other factors at play, of course. A lot of people want a pill for their heartburn instead of changing what and how much they eat. They want a massage rather than exercises. They do NOT want to do the hard and uncomfortable work needed to get their mental health on track and they do NOT want to face the stigma of going to see a shrink (less prevalent among women and higher-edicated folks, but still very much a thing for large parts of society). Even the most bright-eyed, enthusiastic doctor is going to get tired of that uphill battle at some point.

Of course even if people DO want to do the work it takes a lot of resources. Being able to allocate the money, time, and energy needed to work on your (mental) health, especially when you don't have the necessary education to diy some of it is a privilege many people don't have.
How are you going to go to therapy or do workbooks when you work two different jobs* on top of taking care of young kids or ailing parents? So you take your antidepressants and anxiety meds to get through the day and keep your job and you promise yourself you'll do the work later, when things get easier.
Except our current society isn't set up in a way where things do get easier with time for most people.

All of which gets more than a little disheartening when you run into the results day after day, patient after patient.

* Plus of course the mental and physical impact of a lot of jobs is often a large part of why people get sick. A lot of people can't afford to say no to the next round of overtime and can't afford to find a more humane boss, even if they know exactly what's asked of them is going to aggravate their back/neck/shoulder/anxiety/asthma.
 
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Cate said:
How is your weekend going, Llama?
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"Was doing well but came back from a walk with a friend completely exhausted (we didn't walk far) and used it as an excuse to get not one but two slices of cake on my way home. Then this morning I walked for literally 15 minutes in my new shoes and got a blister on each heel. So there's that."
That's a shame. I get blisters easily. I don't so much these days as I wear thick, alpaca socks. Exhaustion also has me craving sweets. Well, everything really. *sigh*
 
I never know when I'll get blisters: sometimes they come up without warning and sometimes I can walk forever, even in new shoes, without issue.

Went for a run this morning. Well, a walk-run, because I hadn't been running forever. Happy about it. Stomach's quite unhappy though, which is annoying. Don't feel like working today AT ALL but I'm sure that'll pass once I'm there.
 
Yay for walk-runs! Glad it made you happy, and I hope you get more energy and a calmer stomach. I agree completely with everything you wrote about how hard it is to face systemic stress in the society and it makes me very grateful for this group! I always thought that gyms should have a group support aspect. More people would go if there were small exercise and good nutrition encouragement groups and stress reduction groups. I am looking at therapeutic yoga as something to learn next.
 
Too bad about the blisters, but lovely you got out for a walk-run. As you know I'm a huge fan of walk-run programs rather than people just throwing themselves right back into full on running! Are you following a particular program?
Hope work goes ok and that your stomach settles.
 
Therapeutic yoga sounds lovely, Marsia! One of the groups I lead at work these days is relaxation and I always try to channel my old yoga teacher for that one.
Liza, for now I'm just going by feel for the running. I did 3 km today with 5 (100m or so each) walking breaks. Would've been easier if my stomach had been calmer but all in all it was fine.

I did indeed forget about my stomach and lack of motivation once I got to work. Was very tempted to binge after and actually dropped into the grocery store for chocolate and chips but while walking home I reminded myself of my goals and ended up eating only 50 g of each, which I'm satisfied with.
 
Wow, that's great you get to lead a relaxation group! Yes, the therapeutic yoga is so good and reminds me of my first yoga teacher who had us hold some chosen yoga poses in each class for a very long time (and told us cool long stories while she did so that we could hold the poses while being distracted by good stories), and that would really release a ton of pent up tension that the muscles held in those places in the body. I am very bad at yoga because I haven't done it regularly for quite some time, but I'd love to be able to teach a yoga for stress reduction class some day. Is your class more a stretching class or more meditative? Do you get to participate in the relaxation, too? I hope so!

Glad the running went well and that you were able to honor your nutrition goals!
 
Cate said:
That group sounds good, Llama. Is that only once a week or more often?
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Once or twice, depending on scheduling and which colleagues get sick. I used to dislike the relaxatoon groups because I thought I was terrible at them but it turns out people get up and leave all quiet because they want to stay in their relaxation for a bit longer, not because they hate my style.
Marsia said:
Is your class more a stretching class or more meditative? Do you get to participate in the relaxation, too? I hope so!
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It's loosely based on Jacobson's progressive muscle relaxation but I generally work in some abdominal breathing and energy flow as well. Yesterday the group was small so I decided to lie down and participate (which is kind of lovely) but when the groups are larger I need to project my voice more so I have to sit or stand. Which is still very grounding but not quite as relaxing.

Started out well today but my washing machine gave me trouble again and it frustrated me enough that I ended up eating all the rest of the chocolate and chips. Maybe next time I need to wash my mattress cover I'll take it to the laundromat just to be sure the machine doesn't struggle and leave me with a sopping wet mountain of cotton again.
 
That's great you get to teach people to relax (and that you got to join them yesterday.). Washers that don't spin the big bedding items out are the worst. I hope the washer can be fixed. That stinks!
 
The relaxation class does sound lovely.

Llama said:
Once or twice, depending on scheduling and which colleagues get sick. I used to dislike the relaxatoon groups because I thought I was terrible at them but it turns out people get up and leave all quiet because they want to stay in their relaxation for a bit longer, not because they hate my style.
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That is a good thing to learn that people are leaving quietly to carry on the relaxation. :) Just reminds me of CBT stuff where we can mis-interpret things and assume a negative rather than what's actually happening. So good for people to carry the relaxation out into the world with them!

Washing machines are the best inventions when they work properly--can be terribly frustrating when they don't!
 
Marsia said:
That's great you get to teach people to relax (and that you got to join them yesterday.). Washers that don't spin the big bedding items out are the worst. I hope the washer can be fixed. That stinks!
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It is the MOST annoying household issue. Which I guess is a sign I have it pretty easy in general :)
liza3 said:
That is a good thing to learn that people are leaving quietly to carry on the relaxation. :) Just reminds me of CBT stuff where we can mis-interpret things and assume a negative rather than what's actually happening.
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Isn't it often like that? The brain never ceases to amaze me.

I had a patient today who was so put-together and stylish I was instantly jealous. Then I realized she was in a plaid shirt, jeans, and unremarkable shoes. She wore little to no make-up, minimal jewelry and had a very no-fuss bob. So why did I think she was super stylish? Because she was petite and everything fit like it was tailor-made. Thought about that a good bit over the course of the day. And I realized I felt the same about other petite women, even the ones that were a bit heavier and whose clothes were even more casual. I'm sad to report that I can't think of a single woman - off the top of my head - whose looks/style I admire and who has a similar basic build to me, regardless of weight. That's kind of wild and I need to find a way to rectify it.
 
Also: anxiety is hiiigh tonight. Probably in part because my stomach is quite upset after having another of those chocolate shakes. I keep kidding myself that highly processed food will work and it just doesn't. Good thing I have such short hair because I really had to wash it and this way the panic doesn't have as much time to build up. Am I the only one who feels extremely vulnerable washing/rinsing their hair or is that standard? You can't really see or hear anything, your hands are above your head so you can't protect yourself and on top of all that you're naked! Stupid invention.
 
Ugh, I have felt stifled by the water and by my wet hair in the shower a couple of times, so I can relate. If I am feeling extra vulnerable, I lock my bathroom door. I get a bit paranoid when overtired, so I take extra safety precautions not to freak myself out (like searching the whole house so I can relax once I know I'm safe) and to make sure I go to bed and get caught up on sleep when I get like that. Showers are sort of strange now that I think about it like you described. Are there foods or beverages that help to calm your stomach? K gets pains from gluten, so I give her probiotic yogurt, and that helps her sometimes. I know your stomach troubles are completely different though!

I tend to think that skinny, wispy-looking people are the most striking to me body-wise, and I have big hips and curves and am solid rather than wispy. I guess we find certain types that are unlike us interesting, maybe because the difference is noteworthy?
 
Oh anxiety so sucks. I hope it went down ok and that you got some sleep. I don't get anxiety washing my hair, but I get lots over other stuff...and the results are all the same :(

It doesn't surprise me too much about admiring those body types--i feel like we can't help but get affected by what is put out there by society as 'ideal' We don't really have many different body type examples out there. I will never be wispy. And now I feel like I'm growing even more into a very solid body type. I may not celebrate my look too much, but I do love the feel of being in a body with muscle and strength--it's a new feeling for me in general...i feel like I can't wear dresses or skirts though...like it wouldn't suit my body...but that is just because of what i think of what one 'should' look like in a dress or skirt. My grandma was much more solidly built than me and she wore dresses..so maybe i just need to change my idea of that too!
 
Cate said:
Oh, Llama :grouphug: Anxiety really sucks. Do you not feel safe in your apartment?
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When the anxiety hits I don't feel safe anywhere, but my apartment is the safest I can feel. It gets way worse when I'm home alone out in the country, in a house with lots of hidey-holes... Brrr!
Marsia said:
Are there foods or beverages that help to calm your stomach? K gets pains from gluten, so I give her probiotic yogurt, and that helps her sometimes. I know your stomach troubles are completely different though!
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Yogurt kind of upsets my stomach at the best of times. Really the only solution for me is time, sleep, and trying to drink water if my body will let me without hurling.
liza3 said:
It doesn't surprise me too much about admiring those body types--i feel like we can't help but get affected by what is put out there by society as 'ideal' We don't really have many different body type examples out there. I will never be wispy. And now I feel like I'm growing even more into a very solid body type. I may not celebrate my look too much, but I do love the feel of being in a body with muscle and strength--it's a new feeling for me in general...i feel like I can't wear dresses or skirts though...like it wouldn't suit my body...but that is just because of what i think of what one 'should' look like in a dress or skirt. My grandma was much more solidly built than me and she wore dresses..so maybe i just need to change my idea of that too!
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What I admire most is short-ish and boyish, which is basically the opposite of me :D I avoided skirts and dresses for a long time as well but eventually I realized that they look fine on bigger bodies as long as you can create (the illusion of) a defined waist*. Like: I have a shortish, blockish torso but between the wide shoulders and hips it still looks like I have some kind of waist and that's all it takes.

Work was very reasonable today but the cramping was bad and I just threw in the towel for today. I don't even feel bad, or feel like I binged, but I did: I probably overate by 2500 calories or so. So... double my maintenance calories. That can't be great, really, but it was just that kind of day. Drinking lots of water and will make sure to go to bed early. And prep breakfast.

* Which is a thing I despise, by the way. Why is the only acceptable way to be heavier as a woman to have an hourglass figure? I adore Gok Wan but when he did "How to look good naked" the main thing he did in every episode was stick the women in shapewear so they'd have a waist and I hated it. I mean: that's the literal opposite of what the show name suggests!
 
Imagine loving your body. Really loving it.
Imagine really loving yourself.
It's so hard.
I was going to delete this, but I will leave it here, because it is how I am feeling. I am sure that if I met you tomorrow, Llama I would think you look fit & healthy & have pizazz. That's how I imagine you. If only we could see ourselves as others do. :grouphug: I was told by my hairdresser yesterday that I looked great, but I just couldn't accept or believe it.
 
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