Alligatorob's Diary

Well I ain't dead yet and am going to try to commit to being here again. I do appreciate all the posts and concern.

I have struggled and to be perfectly honest I am bingeing and have gained some weight. Bingeing is my real problem. The only good thing is that I have managed to keep my exercise up and to be honest I feel pretty good physically, actually better than I did a few months and a few pounds back.

Posting here regularly worked for me for a long time, it has been the only thing that did so I will try again.

I started filling in my calorie counter this morning, first time in weeks. Will try and post it tonight, as I used to. For now I have no calorie goal, my only goal is not bingeing. However I will try to keep track of the calories, that should help with the bingeing... I think.

Again I appreciate all the support I have gotten here, y'all are great!
 
Nice to see you back Rob! Good for you keeping up the exercise. If you are feeling better these days with a little extra weight then it sounds like some extra weight is healthier. Sounds like a good goal with trying not to binge!
 
Great to hear from you, my friend! I was legit starting to get worried you might be sick or injured rather than "just" struggling with food. Binging sucks but I´m glad you´re doing well all in all.
 
Oh, Rob. I must admit I thought you might have fallen off the perch, not just the wagon. I am very relieved that you are back. I'm ready to get back on that wagon too. Let's do this!
I think we all missed you!
 
Got through today without bingeing, that's one day in a row now!

I know I have lots of catching up to do, and I hope to get it done soon. Liza, LaMa, Vic and Cate, thankyou for your kind words.

Struggling a bit to figure the new format out. Don't like it so far, but I am sure I will get used to it. Can't figure out how to put thumbnails in so my food diary is huge...
Printable Nutrition Report for Alligator103_Page_1.jpgPrintable Nutrition Report for Alligator103_Page_2.jpg
 
Nice to see you back Rob! Good for you keeping up the exercise. If you are feeling better these days with a little extra weight then it sounds like some extra weight is healthier. Sounds like a good goal with trying not to binge!
Thanks Liza, good to hear from you and good to see you are still here. Yeah, the weight isn't what worries me now, not so much as bingeing anyway. Got to keep at it.
Great to hear from you, my friend! I was legit starting to get worried you might be sick or injured rather than "just" struggling with food. Binging sucks but I´m glad you´re doing well all in all.
"Bingeing Sucks" well put! Maybe that would be a good name for a new thread? Yes, and except for the bingeing I am doing fine, so now the thing is to cure that!
Yay for no binge today! Let's see if I can do the same today.
Feels good to be working with you on this again, and yeah lets not do it today!
Glad to see you back.
Thanks Vic, and great to hear from you! I need to read through your diary and catchup, you are one of the folks I have missed.
Oh, Rob. I must admit I thought you might have fallen off the perch, not just the wagon. I am very relieved that you are back. I'm ready to get back on that wagon too. Let's do this!
Thanks Cate, and "fallen off the perch" is a great way to put it! Lets get back on that wagon together, you are good company!

I have a lot to say, and even more catching up to do, will try over the next few days to do that.
 
Hi Rob. Looks like you are back on track. Nice to see. I know I am trying to get back at it too. You have lost so much weight since I was here last. Congratulations!! We all have setbacks - especially in maintenance mode but it sounds like you have a handle on this.
 
We're all just mere mortals, Rob. Maintenance is tough. It is really good having you back. I can see your food diary clearly now & I never could before :)
 
Hi Rob! So good to see you back!! I was worried you gave up on weight loss, so I am really relieved you are here again, plus, I just really enjoy reading your diary and missed you being here. I also fell off the wagon. For me it's eating too much mostly healthy food so that I feel full which makes me feel less up in the air and more grounded, so I am working on ways to actually be grounded instead of trying to simulate that with food. Anyway, big hugs and glad you are back!!
 
Today went well, exercised and did not binge, made my goals for the day.
Binge-buddies! Well: no-binge-buddies
Either way is ok with me if it helps us not to binge! We can do it!
Hi Rob. Looks like you are back on track.
Hey Cowboy, good to see you here, and I am back on track, for 2 days now anyway. Its being on track that really matters, how long not so much.
We're all just mere mortals, Rob. Maintenance is tough. It is really good having you back.
Yes, and I am good at demonstrating the mere mortals thing. Together we can do this!
Welcome back!
Thank you Misty, good to see you, I've missed you. So now lets get back and stay on that wagon!
I also fell off the wagon.
Thanks Marisa, and it sounds like I was in good company, off that wagon. Now we can try to stick with it together!

Can y'all read this food thing? Still trying to figure out the best way to do it in the new format. I think the calorie count is a bit low here, but what matters more than the count is no binge!
 

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  • Printable Nutrition Report for Alligatorob.pdf
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Same here. Yesterday it showed up small but zoomable while today it's a click-and-download thing.
 
Three days without bingeing, so far so good. I had a few times today I wanted to but I held them off...

I have been thinking about my weight and things. Last spring I got down into the 140s, but I did not feel real good. I had digestive problems and felt lightheaded and weak much of the time. I went to the doctor, he did all kinds of tests and found nothing wrong... I did have hernia surgery about then, but nothing else to cause my problems. The surgery helped with but did not cure the gut problems.

Then I began eating more, and started bingeing, only occasionally at first then more often. I started gaining weight, and at the same time started to feel better. My gut problems are much less. I don't know if there was a connection, but it sure felt like it. I used that feeling better as an excuse to myself for the bingeing.

It was not just a feeling, I workout at a gym and sometimes use a trainer. She pushes me to lift heavier and keeps pretty good records. For almost a year I had little improvement, even went down a little. However when I started bingeing I started getting stronger. In the last 3 or 4 months I have about doubled the weight I am able to lift, and with the trainer keeping track I am sure its true. For example the Arnold press, a kind of overhead press. For a long time I was doing 8 or so reps at 10 to 12 pounds. Today I did 13 to 15 reps at 25 pounds. No real record, except for me.

I know I was gaining weight, and if I don't stop bingeing I will regain to the point that I will start to impact my ability to exercise. I know I will get too fat. This morning I was at 181, almost 40 pounds heavier than my lowest. I think I should probably lose some weight, but am not sure how much. As I have said right now I am mostly focusing on not bingeing. I will count calories and weigh every day for a while, I think it helps with the binge. But am setting no calorie or weight loss goals, and if I do lose weight and start to feel bad again I may try to eat more. Don't know, will cross that bridge with I get to it.

Sorry for the stream of conscience here, its been in my head for a while, helps to write it down.
Hi Rob! Great start!! It makes me download your nutrition report if I click on it.
Thanks Marsia, the start feels good so far. Is today's better?

LaMa and Cate, same answer I guess, let me know. I am struggling with this new format, don't like it much yet...
Printable Nutrition Re105_Page_1.jpgPrintable Nutrition Re105_Page_2.jpg
 
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