- Oh my God Cate, it makes a massive difference. I've just realised that after so many years of doing nothing, I really want to make up for it now. Although, maybe that's being a bit hard on myself. But I definitely do get a kick out of the exercise.
- You're not LaMa.
Today I want to talk about the importance of mindset. I played a doubles games this evening, and there was a woman booked in to play with us, we'll call her Eleanor, and I've never played with her before, but I have met her once or twice at the court. She's probably in her mid-60s if I had to guess.
Anyway, Eleanor began our 1 hour session by chastising me for suggesting that the online booking system was actually working properly, as 'she wasn't able to book in.' I don't know the lady, so it didn't anger me or anything, but I stood my ground and just explained that in my experience, it worked okay. Not a fantastic first impression, if I'm being honest.
Before the game started, Eleanor spent a lot of time talking to the other ladies that had just finished up their game, putting on her jacket, tying up her hair, etc. So we were 10 minutes into the hour before she'd even hit a ball. I'd asked the other two that we were playing with if she was good, they were silent at that question, and just said she had a sore shoulder and apologised a lot. Oh dear. I knew it was going to be a trainwreck.
Now, the thing is - I am not fantastic at tennis whatsoever. I am very much the lowest grade. But I have come on in leaps and bounds since I played properly 4 years ago now. And that is with so little practice in between. I mean, I didn't play once last summer. What the hell was I doing?
But since I've joined this club, for whatever reason, the whole thing has just come together for me. I'm playing the best I've ever played in my life. All of the coaching I've had has suddenly sunk in. Eleanor told me this evening that she was watching me play another evening (something that would freak me out before, but now, I couldn't care less) and that 'I looked like I was playing all my life and I have great power and precision in my shots.' What a lovely compliment. But like - this has genuinely come out of nowhere. Yes, I have always had power because I have the build, but literally no confidence, no precision, and just constant stupid shots because I've got inside my head too much.
I am like a new woman on that court now, I can honestly say that. I have a long way to go in my personal development, but I can see by my tennis play how far I've come, which is mad. That fidgety, nervous, sad little girl is no more. I am strong, confident, focused, and while I couldn't claim to be 'happy', I am moving in that direction all the time. However long it takes, I will get to that place of inner peace!!!
But back to Eleanor. She spent most of the time talking, not concentrating, apologising for missing shots, getting offended if I happened to tell her to 'get that one', etc. But, the amazing thing was, when she actually stopped all the nonsense, she was a far better player and had some really nice serves and shots. But she was just so overwhelmingly negative about her play that it just couldn't come together. And she reminded me of myself and the way I used to be. And often still am. But it was just amazing to see it all before my eyes in the form of someone else.
Anyway, the conclusion is that the 3 of us were a bit fed up by the end of it. I didn't feel like we'd used up the hour wisely. I think by the end Eleanor had warmed to me and asked me to let her know if I can book a few of us in again this week. I actually have my games already sorted, and I would play with her again, but I would hope there would be some way to break through that wall and help her see that the only person in her way is her.
I feel a little guilty about looking for the signs in other people but it DOES help to know I´m not the only one struggling.