Journey to Knowing

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CrowFeather said:
Once I fit in my minimum calories, I click that button to start the fast. I can feel the inflammation disappearing. And I was in a group situation for three hours with no anxiety. Which is wonderful.
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That's impressive! Both parts, but I'm especially struck by the inflammation ebbing.

That sounds tough, about relationships - even the (I surmise from your saying "group situation") social anxiety, but even more the difficulties in closer relationships. I'm sorry, and sending you good wishes for things to come better, even if slowly, as Rob says.
 
Thanks guys. The support means the world. Sometimes I wonder how I made it half a century, especially with no substance addictions. Lots of self-injury both physical and emotional, and the eating is one of my last coping mechanisms. I guess that's why I default to past habits when anything out of the ordinary happens. The IF somehow removes some of the decision making from me. I have to be aware for five or six hours instead of 14. So much more relaxing and doable. And the anti-inflammatory part is awesome. I guess the liver needs that break from metabolizing. The cognitive benefits are helpful too. While I am well aware I am still deeply depressed, I am able to break some of the inertia. Even made it into the office by 8:30 today. Woke up at 4 and tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. I will admit, being up so early, I am feeling the hunger and looking forward to my banana in an hour. Think I may hop out of the office and go get some fresh juice too after my meeting. Drinking a green drink near after I break fast makes me feel like a superhero.
 
I'm really glad IF works for you, G. I just can't do it, with my medication. It's great that your inflammation is so much better.
 
I want to try for 36 hours this weekend. I have electrolyte drops from when my feet were cramping so horribly that will work to keepthings in balance. If there is no brain fog, I'll bring that into one day a week.

Intake was near perfect today. Broke 100g protein and stayed under 160g carbs. I'd rather carbs were around 80 but these were decently sourced. 40-35-25 day & under max intake goal. Best day in months. I love the science of all this.

Gonna talk to that friend tomorrow. Also decided that i don't trust my dad enough to live with him unless I own the home. So he can wait three years if he wants to live w me. Having a straightforward conversation with him about possible problem areas just ain't gonna happen. He isn't a proactive kind of person.
 
I relate to what you say about IF removing
CrowFeather said:
some of the decision making from me. I have to be aware for five or six hours instead of 14.
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I'm not using IF, but sometimes just physically take myself right away from the food, so I don't have to keep being aware, not to mindless open a little pack of crackers or whatever.
I really enjoyed this:
CrowFeather said:
Drinking a green drink near after I break fast makes me feel like a superhero.
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:D
 
The energy and positive outlook are maintaining. I'm down 9lbs from three weeks ago. I have even cooked every day this week so far. Made maple glazed balsamic brussel sprouts today. No recipe.

Seems like the energy will keep up so I may set up a writing nook and start putting on screen some of my story ideas. That's a huge step. Thinking it over. Definitely going to start back at gym after I get paid Monday. I wonder with this new chemical balance if my body will go into hyper vigilance after exercise like it has for years. It'll be fun to test. Work is even sucking less.

I'm reading Delay, Don't Deny and should finish it tonight. Such a fascinating approach to all this. I'm tracking intake to make sure protein is high enough but I'm getting less hungry/desiring food less. I will keep tracking and stay between a 1,300-1,700 goal intake for next six months. If I stick with this that long, then I'll trust my body to decide what and how much to eat.

Had a four minute call with that friend. Idk. We left it that things would be very surface. I don't like phones and didn't express myself well. May write her a note.
 
Things are sounding very positive for you, in terms of eating and energy (and nine pounds down is pretty pleasant, too!).
"Delay, Don't Deny" is about intermittent fasting, I gather? There are some people here who've had really good experience of using that method - @overlandflyer is one. I haven't myself, though I'll skip an evening meal from time to time, which works out as a much more haphazard version of the same thing!
I hope things go well with your friendship. :)
 
@aiminglow thanks for the heads up. I'll check out @overlandflyer . Community is so critical in this journey.

Funny thing happened today. I bought a moe's burrito last night to eat for breakfast. My standard with meat, beans, pico, cilantro, and a few fresh jalapenos. Went to eat it and OMG I could not eat it! It was too freaking spicy hot. My taste sensitivity has majorly changed in just two weeks. I've noticed it with other things. Fascinating.

After reading more, I may hold off the gym for a couple of months. This makes me sad but my body is going through so much that I'm going to stick with the chair exercises and gentle yoga.

I woke up at 4 this morning. Wide awake and ready to work. My work ethic is slowly improving. Slowly. Less depression helps. I feel more grounded and in my body than I ever have. I realize this could be that euphoria that happens when things change a bit but I'm holding out hope.
 
It's good to hear that your depression has lessened & you are doing so well on IF. I was disappointed that it wasn't for me. Keep holding onto hope, G :)
 
That's really interesting, about your sensitivity to spice changing! And really good about feeling more grounded and in your body - hoping along with you!
 
I've been doing so well w 18hr fasting I decided to try a 24hr window Friday. Got a call my 80 yo father was going to er at about 8pm Friday. I'd ended my eating window at around 2pm that afternoon. I hopped in the car and drove the 8hrs down. They didn't have a bed available so sent him home. I was only there 12 hrs but cleaned, cared, and cooked until my brothers got there and then drove back home. Ended up with 24h 16m fast. I felt great. Tons of energy and was able to drive home safely. Then Saturday/Sunday, I unintentionally did a 25h 45m fast because I slept 13 hours and then at the place I ate brunch, they took forever w my order. I organically have moved my eating window to mid-afternoon -early-evening. I think it will ease the issues of getting/staying asleep I've been having and it will place peak clarity into my work day.

A friend and I are going to start using the machines at the free gym. Nothing over the top. Just 15-30 minutes twice a week.

Weight-wise, I'm nearly back to where I was in August. And it seems all my anxiety has disappeared. I'm having no ptsd symptoms. I can find nothing negative about this way of eating. Clean fasting. Who knew it could change my world?
 
CrowFeather said:
.... Ended up with 24h 16m fast. I felt great. Tons of energy ....
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i've only fasted 24+ hours a few times, but this is one of the more curious outcomes as you discovered. you'd think your energy would be very low after no caloric intake for a day, but it seems just the opposite is true. your body starts burning fat stores and using O2 more efficiently ... you actually feel more energized.

if you think about it, though, it makes sense. consider prehistoric man and their basic feast and famine cycles. when they were unsuccessful in finding food, there was an even greater need to get out there and hunt/ gather the next day. i doubt if we'd be around today if the opposite were true.
 
@overlandflyer I was thinking about that the other day. This is all a survival trait. It took 3 weeks to understand the concept that w IF there is no deficit even with lower caloric intake bc the fat stores fill the space. My grandmothers both ate once a day and lived to nearly 100.

What's astounding to me is the 'mental health' issues I've fought with all these years. The gut as the second brain is seeming more true.
 
CrowFeather said:
What's astounding to me is the 'mental health' issues I've fought with all these years. The gut as the second brain is seeming more true.
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I am no expert on mental health problems, brains, or the gut. But I do know that when I am eating right I feel a lot better and better about myself than when I am not.

Interesting about your grandmother, IF seems to have worked for her.
 
I fit into a size 22 blouse last night. What's more amazing is it was clingy and I didn't mind. Also the music venue was tiny and crowded. No anxiety. And I'm one pound above where I was in August when I left off and feeling no angst about going lower. Who am I?

I've got a big meeting in ten minutes. Barely nervous about that.
 
Weird circumstances had me eating only a sandwich, potato chips, and a chai latte yesterday before it was too late for me to eat so I ended up fasting 28 hours. Absolutely no issues. Tons of energy, never was hungry. I ate a huge salad and chicken breast for dinner and closed with cheesecake. I may have stumbled into omad. Never thought I could do that. But I am doing it.

Drove down to my brother's home in the city. He has my dad there until he's stronger after having pneumonia. He doesn't need to live with me. I can barely care for myself.

Thinking of going to a service of some kind in the morning but I'll probably just sleep.
 
That's great, that the fasting worked for you, at least for that trial. Sounds like the IF might open up a whole new way to tackle weight loss for you! :)
Also sounds good that there's other options opening up for your father.
 
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