Marsia's Diary

Sounds great Marsia . I made chicken soup yesterday. I am going to do some cleaning today . Wish I had a cleaner .
 
I don't think I have ever clocked 18,000 steps in a day except maybe when I was photographing a wedding, so good on you. That's amazing!
 
Thanks everyone! I somehow gained 5 pounds over the last 2 days. I really, really hope it is all water weight, though I did cheat and eat corn chowder at a restaurant where my daughter's band performed. I am not supposed to have corn or potatoes on this diet. But maybe it's just stress. Every time I turn around, my husband has another work project or has invited someone out with us or to our house or ... He means well, but he is starting to drive me crazy. I don't like not having down time, and I think it really affects me. I have to lecture him a few times a year to let me and my daughter have some time to ourselves. I drank a lot of caffeinated tea yesterday, too, which in excess is bad for losing weight. I get really nervous at my daughter's shows because there are a lot of people there from her old school where I had social anxiety pretty badly, so those people mostly know me as someone who can't talk to them. So it triggers my social anxiety to be around them. So company is coming in 5 hours, and I still have a lot of house cleaning, cooking, and a patent to proof. But it should be mellow nice company - our friends we play German board games with. Maybe I can shake this stressed out mood and just enjoy the day. It feels better just to write that!
 
Petal001 said:
Sounds great Marsia . I made chicken soup yesterday. I am going to do some cleaning g today . Wish I had a cleaner .
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I would love a cleaner, too! I feel like every time I turn around the house messed itself up without anyone doing anything to it!
 
Marsia said:
Wow, you are a photographer! Do you take photos for fun, too?
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Yes, that's pretty much all I do now. No more weddings! I like photographing nature the most. There are some nature shots in my diary from last spring. Haven't done much lately but I need to! It's very relaxing.
 
Social anxiety suuuuuuuuuuucks. So much! Sorry you have to deal with it.
Was that chowder yesterday, by any chance? Because eating carbs after having been low-carb for a while WILL push the scales up. It´s not fat, of course, but it´s still unpleasant.
 
I absolutely need downtime on a regular basis to recharge my batteries & get very stressed & anxious if I don't get it. Have a good talk to your husband about it, Marsia. I hope the night goes well, hon xoxo
 
Aw Marsia I could write a lot of what you wrote about social anxiety but kudos for you to go and face it . I'm ashamed to say I avoided things I couldn't face due to anxiety and stress and regret it now.
Sorry about the weight gain . I went through that last week and I know it's stuck there a bit but it will shift again .

Downtime is so important . I have had a bit on and off this weekend . Hope all settles for you. Hugs
 
Thanks Petal and everyone. I am trying to relax today. I got too overwhelmed with all the patent work and socializing, and tried to talk to my husband about it, but he is a lawyer and excellent at making everything I say sound unreasonable, so neither of us is in the right state to talk about relaxing and enjoying life at the moment. I took the day off and folded clothes and did video games and drove my mom around. This afternoon I have the house to myself a while and will meditate a long while. I really need it. I realized the same thing you are saying this morning, Petal. I was rushing to lose all the weight because my diet is hard and I don't want to be on it very long, but I have to stop rushing, because one person rushing through life in the household is all I can handle ATM. I think I need a gardening week! Thanks everyone for being here! I really needed it today!!
 
Jenniquest said:
Yes, that's pretty much all I do now. No more weddings! I like photographing nature the most. There are some nature shots in my diary from last spring. Haven't done much lately but I need to! It's very relaxing.
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I love taking photos of nature, too. My mom is a landscape painter, and my daughter and mom and me all go out sketching together. Really relaxing, and we should definitely do more of it, too!
 
Petal001 said:
Aw Marsia I could write a lot of what you wrote about social anxiety but kudos for you to go and face it . I'm ashamed to say I avoided things I couldn't face due to anxiety and stress and regret it now.
Sorry about the weight gain . I went through that last week and I know it's stuck there a bit but it will shift again .

Downtime is so important . I have had a bit on and off this weekend . Hope all settles for you. Hugs
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I just sent an article on what sleeplessness does to your brain to my husband. I hope he reads it because a lot of it talks about the stuff that is hard about our relationship.

With social anxiety, I feel like I am being asked to socialize a lot with people I would normally be intimidated by, so in a way, it's good, but also a little overwhelming. Also my husband tends to clump social things together so there is no break between them, which totally freaks me out, and I do terrible the second or third social gathering, because I am just too stressed. So I end up feeling ashamed of myself, although I may have done well the first two group interactions. Thanks for sharing that you have a hard time with this, too. It can be really frustrating and sometimes I feel like I am making such a huge fuss over nothing, but a nothing that I can't control somehow!
 
Marsia said:
I got too overwhelmed with all the patent work and socializing, and tried to talk to my husband about it, but he is a lawyer and excellent at making everything I say sound unreasonable
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That doesn´t sound very pleasant at all. Does he know it makes you feel that way?
 
LaMaria said:
That doesn´t sound very pleasant at all. Does he know it makes you feel that way?
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He can get really hyper and not even remember that I have social anxiety and that the plans that he is making affect me. I frequently back out of things we had planned together because he invited a bunch of other people without checking with me. He doesn't view it as a problem - I think honestly he thinks he is helping me get over social anxiety. I do tell him frequently though. He is probably the most social person I have ever met, and I do know that he tones things down considerably for me. He would love to hold huge parties at our house, but he compromises and this is what I am getting, I think, is what he considers the very tame version of his social life. They say opposites attract!
 
LaMaria said:
How can you "forget" your partner has social anxiety? O well, as long as you're happy it's fine.
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In all my relationships there have been things that drive me crazy and that the other person isn't interested in changing. I just figure out ways to adjust, but in this instance, it's pretty hard. I also think he could be going through mid-life crisis or something. He has been so hard to figure out the last few years - he seems to be panicking and trying to be happy through more status and money - it's really sad. I have to talk to him about this on a day where he is happy and had some rest. Relationships are so hard!
 
Marsia said:
he seems to be panicking and trying to be happy through more status and money - it's really sad
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That is sad, Marsia. Relationships are not easy, but you shouldn't have to feel that you are always the one having to make the adjustments. I hope you can have a talk to him on a happy, restful day & that it goes well. I would not cope well with all of that pressure. *hugs* xoxo Cate
 
Thanks Cate, it means a lot that you sympathize! I think we are both so different that we both sacrifice a lot. I need to find ways to do more of what I want on my own, I think. We both really like who the other person is, but do not understand each other at all. So that makes things interesting, but definitely not easy!!
 
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