Cate's Diary

You handled it fantastically. Sounds like it was the best outcome possible - the bad apple has removed herself. Things will improve dramatically from now on, I know it.
 
Thanks, Em. I would hope it gets better, but I think it really will. She is a bad apple- paranoid, undermining.....I hope she does go away, but if she doesn't I will be able to cope with her better now that she no longer has the power to make me feel inadequate.
Rrrrrrr! :D
 
Having her lose that power is a fantastic leap forward - but be careful she doesn't come up with a new strategy.
 
Cate well done to you and kudos to the ladies to support and congratulate you . I hope you now get to enjoy every aspect of the club and your time on the committee.
 
Thanks, Jen, LaMa & Petal. I'm not sure it's possible to enjoy being on a committee, but coping & surviving would be good.
Our older son just messaged me & asked to borrow more money. It has upset us both as only last week he asked to borrow $1000 & now wants another. He is going on an island holiday with his GF next week. He sent me photos the other day after having a manicure & a pedicure in preparation & I thought at the time that we probably paid for that. Now he wants more. He is living way beyond his means. Being a parent sometimes (often) sucks. I love them both, but it is not easy & there is often lots of angst.
I am being nagged to get on the move so had better go. Rubbish time again.
 
I'm glad you are like that, LaMa. It upsets us that he can't see it the same way. It has thrown us both out today really. I won't pass on quite how I'm feeling at the moment as it's a bit raw. We did have the conversation this morning about how much less stress we would have if we didn't have any offspring. People without children have no idea about the angst & stress that it can bring. You can't. It gets worse as they get older. I am saying no.
I have been feeling a bit fragile again lately. I look forward to it passing, as it usually does.
Love to all my forum friends xoxo
 
I have the opposite problem with mine. She is so hard on herself and cries in frustration when she makes tiny, forgivable mistakes. If I scold her a little for something, she may cry about it months later when she is frustrated about something else. I wonder if it is different having boys? Anyway, you can love them and say, "No. And this NO his is for your own good!"
 
Thanks, Petal, LaMa & Jen.
I just got sidetracked & came back & realised I hadn't finished posting!
I feel quite a bit better today. Dinner with D & the kids was nice last night & I told D that we had paid for a deposit for a holiday of our own this week & talked about where we were going. I'm picking the kids up today & taking them for a picnic. We haven't seen them much lately.
Tonight G & I are doing the bar at the GC for a 50th birthday party. I'll be very pleased when it's over & I will tell G that I won't be doing another. The birthday "boy" asked the club if he could have the party there & they said yes, but he would have to find his own bar staff, so he rang G. G has so much trouble saying no to anyone. I like the guy who's party it is but would much rather spend the evening at home.
Time to get moving I think. G is playing golf today & tomorrow. He didn't want to play, but once again, someone asked him to partner him & he simply cannot say no.
Typing that made me a little cranky, so I'll quit now.
I am going to try to concentrate on positive things & the things that I am grateful for. It's a very good idea.
My lovely husband :beating:
A beautiful home in a beautiful place
Greek holiday planned :D
Time with grandkids :beating:
My family :beating:
Bye for now, xoxo
 
Those are indeed things to be grateful for! About saying "no": it´s a skill that can be learned, but for that someone needs to want to put in the effort of learning it. If you want to help him do that, it might help to say no yourself sometimes, for example next time he volunteers the both of you for a task and only tells you about it later. Some people only learn to say no if yes is no longer the (socially) easy option. So well done telling him you won´t be randomly doing the bar again!
 
I had that little chat when he got home from golf today. He seemed a bit surprised, but I made sure he understood that I mean it. I was here when he got the call asking him to do it & he had assumed it would be ok with me. He knows now.
It's 4.30 pm on a Saturday afternoon & the 2 of us have to leave in 2 hours, to go out to the golf club to do the bar for about 5 hours. Included in the customers for the evening is the DH captain. It won't be happening again.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
Coming back from our trip to Greece we arrive late one night & then fly to Tas early the next morning. Last time that happened we booked a room in a very ordinary pokey little hotel within walking distance of the terminal. I just booked a deluxe room in a hotel 3.5km from the airport for $9 less than the grotty one, with a free 24-hour shuttle service :D I'll surprise G then. He'll be pleasantly surprised.
 
Cate I am very much a person who finds it hard to say no . I'm a people pleaser. When I do have to say no I feel so guilty and eat myself up about it. I have worked on it in the past and after one friend (actually that dear friend I spoke about before) said to make sure people wiped their feet on me on the way out as I was a doormat I started to say no. It's very liberating and I find most people don't really mind.

The delux room sounds great . Hope the party went ok and also the time with the grandkids . Have a great weekend
 
Thanks Petal. I think most people respect you learning to say no. I don't have as much trouble as G does. Have a good weekend, xo
 
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