Step by step, day by day :D

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Thanks Alex :)

It took me all day yesterday to feel human again, Cate. But got there in the end, thanks :)

I also signed up for a fitness plan, it's called Wobble to Model (ha ha ha) and it lasts 6 weeks. I had a look at the workouts yesterday and jesus f*cking christ I was getting tired just watching them. Then the usual excuse of TIME started to whirl around my head and I could see that I'm just being lazy - of course I can spend 4 hours a week (!!!) doing those workouts. They do look tough though so I was getting scared that I would suck and wouldn't be able to do it like the lovely fit ladies in the videos ha ha. Now, writing about it, I realise how silly those thoughts are, so f*cking what if I can't do what they are doing straight away, I'm trying and if I stick it out (well I did pay for it, which should be a motivating factor) then I'll be super proud of myself. Like, really really proud because it would be the very first time I've completed something like this. Well, I am going to try, I've never followed a structured exercise plan like this before and 6 weeks is really not that long. I wish I could say I'm excited ha ha but right now it does seem like a bit of a torturous thing that I've chosen to do to myself :D Hopefully my attitude will change once I start exercising.

By the way, Happy Easter if you guys are celebrating.
 
I'm drinking champagne. I'm celebrating life . Good for you on signing up for the fitness plan. Go for it! ?
 
cate said:
I'm drinking champagne. I'm celebrating life
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Woop woop! That's much better than Easter :D

Ok, so I've done Day 1 and it's not as bad as I thought. They really vary the exercises so even if you hate one it's only gonna last for 30 seconds or so.
 
That's the best way to think of it. When I first started zumba (before I fell in love with it), I'd just tell myself, "You can make it through one more song."
 
Yeah! I'm hoping I'll start 'liking' all the high intensity stuff... Right now it's annoyingly hard and I find that I slack a bit at times (doing all this stuff properly when nobody is there to check on you is a real test of strong will, I find! It used to be much easier at the gym where I had the instructor and all the other people, oh well, the gym here is utterly sh*it and has no decent classes, so I'm gonna have to do this aaaaall by my seeeeeeelf :D) Yesterday I must have restarted the video like 5 times coz I was stopping half way through and just standing there watching them work out or lying on the floor ha ha ha. I tell you what though, my body is aaaaching, it's crazy how you forget you have all these muscles (like your butt! :D or the back of your thighs!) until you actually start moving them properly. Tomorrow workout number 3!

Today I'm feeling tired and a bit bleugh...I've just had 60 frigging grams of crisps (given to me on my birthday...shitty presents or WHAT? haha, to be fair they had a bit of a sentimental value to them :D long story! ). Anyway, I ate them coz they were there and I was feeling frustrated coz time seems to be literally escaping me - everything always takes much longer than I think it will (it doesn't help that I keep getting distracted by loads of things which are much more exciting than my coursework...2 more months!!!! I have to get a grip!!!)

Sigh sigh. Tomorrow hopefully will be a better, more productive day.

By the way, I've been on here for a month! Woop woop ! :D
 
Thanks guys!!! So happy I've found this forum!!

Anna, yeah it's a satisfying pain but walking is haaard at the moment :D

Thanks, Cory, I got through it somehow!

So this morning has been a reminder of my how wonky my relationship with food is. I got given a HUGE bag of sesame cookies (are people deliberately trying to stop from me losing weight or WHAT?! :D) and a small box of chocolates (admittedly that's all gone now...). I got home and tried the cookies and decided I didn't really like them, BUT! just to be on the 'safe side' I still got rid of them because I knew that, just because they were sweet, I WOULD be eating them daily (don't want that sugar in my life right now!) and there was a good chance that I'd have LOADS of them in one go one of these days.

It's sad that I don't feel in control enough to have things like that in the house. I mean these cookies really weren't great but I knew I would STILL eat them. Even though I wouldn't be enjoying them! It's so annoying. It's like in those moments my mind switches off and I'm just concentrating on putting things in my mouth...It's like a trance. I really hope I can overcome this and change the way I think and feel about food! I want to enjoy tasty things from time to time and not feel guilty about it but I also want to stop eating things (usually sweets!) just because they are in front of me.
 
This post most probably reflects what most of us feel towards food. You are not alone sweetie!
 
It sucks, but hey, being conscious of it really help.

March was VERY GOOD :) (especially when compared with Feb!) I feel much fitter and healthier and my clothes are getting looser.

Ok, so, April 1st, time to think how to best move forward.
  • Continue running (did 145km in March - most ever and hoping for more in April :D)
  • Carry on with the fitness plan - it really helps to have it structured like that, rather than think what workouts I should be doing
  • Drink 1.5l of water daily - I've been buying 1.5l bottled water and just topping up my little bottle throughout the day, added some lemon wedges too
  • Continue to work on how I think of and behave around food - this is really massive for me
Apart from that, it's T-61 days until this asshole of an exam I need to take. Really need to knuckle down and study. I was asked to go out tonight but given how little time I have (and how much studying!!!) I can't afford a late night, even if I didn't drink too much tonight.

So for a non-weight related goal - monitor and use my time better.
 
Today marks the beginning of week 6.

This is the point where I normally stop doing all the healthy stuff and go back to not being mindful/not exercising regularly coz I feel like 'it's been forever'.

So this is very much a reminder to myself that this journey is that, a journey, and I want to be active and healthy and eat well.

So need to be careful not to forget that.
 
I'm glad March has gone so well for you. :D

Also, I think your previous post is really valuable introspection. It's important to step back every now and then and remember why you're doing this.
 
Delsid said:
Today marks the beginning of week 6.

This is the point where I normally stop doing all the healthy stuff and go back to not being mindful/not exercising regularly coz I feel like 'it's been forever'.

So this is very much a reminder to myself that this journey is that, a journey, and I want to be active and healthy and eat well.

So need to be careful not to forget that.
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YEEESSS!!! I need this reminder daily!!
 
Thanks Cory, Cate and AmyLu!

Yesterday was a bit strange. It started off ok, but I could feel myself losing focus a bit (because this is my usually breaking point, because I'm stressed, because I'm being impatient and partly because I still on some level (at least subconsciously) think that I (massive emphasis) will never get rid of all my wobbly parts - no matter how much I train, and that's obviously bullsh*t because - a) it's likely that there will always be something stressful in my life b) it's ONLY week 6, I should be happy with the progress I have made and not expect miracles, c) the internet is amazing for proof that no matter where you're starting from you can make yourself look however you want, but that requires hard work, duh!)

So anyway, I ate quite of a bit of junk yesterday (but made sure I enjoyed it rather than feel guilty about it and was conscious that if I'd said 'no' to those cravings yesterday I'd probably break and mindlessly binge at some point soon) ...I had some of the stuff that for a month was 'off limits' and it feels like I kinda 'got it out of my system'. Whatever works, right? :D

Another change was that instead of saying 'I've blown it' and eating even MORE (which I would have done in the past), I did the scheduled workout.

So a bit of a rollercoaster but hopefully things settle a bit soon.

Having food related issues can get a bit tiring, I find. I should probably chill about it a bit too...
 
I agree with Cate. It's definitely a win. I think half the battle is realizing that mistakes don't have to be permanent. They don't have to become a habit.
 
Massive changes ahead and I've not been able to concentrate on anything properly these past few days.

I've been having trouble falling asleep too, a mixture of apprehension and excitement means that my mind does NOT want to shut up, like EVER. Trying to calm down because I find myself thinking about things which are 2 months, 4 months and even 5 months away!! I can't possibly continue in this wired mode.
 
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