Why is this hard?

maleficent said:
When i first starting looking at weight loss and I must have had 20 books on the topic - from fad diets to the keep it simple stupid series of books - practically every single one said set small goals -like 20lbs and reward yourself when you get there... Well when you have 200+ to lose - 20 lbs isn't a great goal and the books didn't seem to get the concept that a person had 200 lbs to lose... so goal setting seemed pointless to my head) and I had to look at the big picture (which I am OK with now - and don't want to ochange that) the end of the line was huge and overwhelming.. . and it's tough to get started when you know you have so far to go


I could stand here with my hand on a stack of bibles and believe that I did eat right - I never ate fast food., I never ate fried food, I rarely drank alcohol, I never drank pop - I would have sworn I ate right - travelling 45+ weeks of the year had me eating in a ton of restaurants and livig on starbucks skim milk lattes -I believed that they weren't that bad - Until I sat down and started calculating did I realize that m y healthy diet was an incredible numbe rof calories... I had to be ready to see that -I was that person you hate that says I can't l ose weight and I don't know why...


even at m y highest weight - I still walked at least 2 miles a day - didn't seem to do be much good and the thought of doing aerobics -even now - Is overwhelming.. walking I could do - and always did - even in hotels but it wasn't effective - plus there's the whle embarassment of walking into a gym and the looks you get.

I think it's really wanting it - at least in my case - of reachig that point where I said enouoghs enough -just do it

For me - most things come easy to me - I made it thru 4 years of college with a 4.0 gpa in applied math, and summa cum laude without ever studying... once.. math was easy and I took the easy way out.. .I spent 1 year at MIT in the astrophysics program when it really hit me that I didn't know how to study and tanked seriously.. and left to actually hit the real world...

my entire life I pretty much spent not having to commit to anything - and there's lots I'm good at but it comes easy - wieght loss and fitness do not come easy and it's a commitment that was very hard to make becasue I never had to before.. .I had to be really ready. and Im sure that's just totally me...


It's hard to get into the head of a person who's 200+ lbs over weight - or even 100 lbs over weight - there are so many quick fix programs out there - and every magazine out there has a plan to lose 10lbs in 10 days - well 10 lbs isn't anything...
\

I'm not quitting - at all.. I've come too far to throw i the towel - besides this isn't a diet for me -this is a lifestyle change... and almost one year into it -the change is made - I just need to make more adjustments - but my frustration is still - that even if I weigh 125lbs (NOT my goal weight) I will still look like me and still be me -and well - how does that differ from me at 383lbs... being not fat isn't a beauty bullet...

The stuff I talk abou ton this forum -no such thing as too personal

It's an interesting topic... one I woud love more people to understand - but it's tough to really articulate
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Thanks Mal.

And trust me, I am not stupid. I am dumbing it down quite a bit. I have helped enough people in my time to actually understand. But it is still good to talk about it I think. Not only does it help reinforce the concept with me that this comes a lot harder for some than others, but I think it also helps those who are struggling currently. Might help some of them have an "a-ha" moment.

I don't expect anyone to be able to articulate an exact answer. I am looking for personal answers as they apply to those who have been there and done that.

Or from those who are still struggling today.
 
indigoiis said:
I'm just thinking out loud... trying to think about what makes people go back to old eating habits DESPITE education and understanding.
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that comes from the diet as short term fix mentality... I did it myself back in the olden days doing the Scarsdale diet and saying how when i got to my goal I couldn't wait to have... xxx.... it wasn't a lifestyle change then...
 
maleficent said:
that comes from the diet as short term fix mentality... I did it myself back in the olden days doing the Scarsdale diet and saying how when i got to my goal I couldn't wait to have... xxx.... it wasn't a lifestyle change then...
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Right, and why I think education is critical. Not the be-all-end-all answer, of course. But I critical component to actually following through with what you want, IMO.
 
PinkRoses said:
Philisophy ? :D
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Haha, no. I guess you could call me a trainer. I used to be a PT in the gym setting. Then I went and found myself a well paying job in a career. Now, I want back into traininer and will do so when I am ready, financially. Might do something on the web.
 
NOt only education - but consistency...

I was house sitting a couple of days last week - at the house they had a bag of Vegie Root Chips (Potato chips made from yams, and other non descript root vegetables). I started snacking on them and stopped after 10 chips. I looked at the bag and saw that 16 chips = 160 calories.

There was a time I would have eaten half the bag...maybe more ;) I've had to work continuously against mindless eating. I don't think that will ever come easy for me.
 
Its hard for me

Wow, this is intense. I am one of the type that keeps struggling. I have so many responsibiliteis and not a lot of time to do 'my own thing' I have no outlet, so I grab food. I am not sure if it is an addiction but I am happy to have the sweets even though they are not good for me.

When I do get some time I do not want to sped it on exercising, I do not like exercising. so after putting in so much time for others (single mom of 4) and I find i have some time, I refuse to do exercise. I will choose play my vdo games, computer or TV not exercise. I kow I should exercise BUT I AM TIRED, so no go.

I have changed again to be in the right frame of mind and am hoping to stay there. It has been two weeks, I decided on walking everyday, right now about 2000 steps extra a day and then playing outside with the kids. eating small meals every 3 hours instead of waiting until "lunch time, dinner time'

I have not seen the scale move yet (depressing in itself) but I am not so sleepy, tired and I seem to think my clothes are starting to loosen a bit, so I hold onto that.

Deb
 
And on that same topic of people actually becoming educated, losing the weight, getting healthy, seeing all the positive changes..... and THEN, on top of all of this REVERTING back to their old habits.....

I label that as insanity. If you know the whys and hows and still revert back to your old ways, assuming you actually still want to look good and be healthy, that is equivalent to NOT wanting to kill yourself, yet, holding the barrel to your head and pulling the trigger.

Extreme example, yes. But similar if you think about it.
 
M2M said:
NOt only education - but consistency...

I was house sitting a couple of days last week - at the house they had a bag of Vegie Root Chips (Potato chips made from yams, and other non descript root vegetables). I started snacking on them and stopped after 10 chips. I looked at the bag and saw that 16 chips = 160 calories.

There was a time I would have eaten half the bag...maybe more ;) I've had to work continuously against mindless eating. I don't think that will ever come easy for me.
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I would argue that education leads to consistency.
 
In alcohol addiction, the folks who "white-knuckle" it - who feel as if they are deprived rather than gaining something - are the folks who tend to relapse time and again. And until they realize that the cell door is open and they can walk out any time, they will not be successfull. Whereas, if you accept the simple reality (i.e., to quit drinking, you can't drink alcohol) and move on while becoming educated about the addiction and replacing old habits with new ones, you will generally be successfull. But in that, too, there is a patience factor.

I mean, with weight loss, it's not as if we gained that weight overnight. Just as the alcohol addicted individual didn't become addicted after one drink.

All the education in the world won't mean a wink if a person is feeling deprived. And the media puts us in a constant state of feeling need.

All the contradictions out there really serve to f a person up. What's amazing is we are so cynical about other things (like news) the media feeds us - we're not stupid, after all. But we're so willing to latch on to the latest fad. What's up with that?
 
I've had to work continuously against mindless eating. I don't think that will ever come easy for me.
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I surely know it wont for me - and still portion things out and use my little snack size baggies to keep me on the straight and narrow :) I don't trust myself with the big container...
 
When I was losing weight I was still eating junk once a week, jsut a bag of chips, turned into a bag of chips and some chocolate near the end, but now I've decided to put on some muscle after this final few pounds I've not touched the stuff for quite a while, and I used to eat so much crap ...
Steve, what would you advise a 17 year old trying to cut down to about 10-12% bf to do ? If you don't mind me begging shamelessly for advice :)
 
PinkRoses said:
When I was losing weight I was still eating junk once a week, jsut a bag of chips, turned into a bag of chips and some chocolate near the end, but now I've decided to put on some muscle after this final few pounds I've not touched the stuff for quite a while, and I used to eat so much crap ...
Steve, what would you advise a 17 year old trying to cut down to about 10-12% bf to do ? If you don't mind me begging shamelessly for advice :)
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Come to my journal and ask this question. This is not the thread for this.
 
indigoiis said:
In alcohol addiction, the folks who "white-knuckle" it - who feel as if they are deprived rather than gaining something - are the folks who tend to relapse time and again. And until they realize that the cell door is open and they can walk out any time, they will not be successfull. Whereas, if you accept the simple reality (i.e., to quit drinking, you can't drink alcohol) and move on while becoming educated about the addiction and replacing old habits with new ones, you will generally be successfull. But in that, too, there is a patience factor.

I mean, with weight loss, it's not as if we gained that weight overnight. Just as the alcohol addicted individual didn't become addicted after one drink.

All the education in the world won't mean a wink if a person is feeling deprived. And the media puts us in a constant state of feeling need.

All the contradictions out there really serve to f a person up. What's amazing is we are so cynical about other things (like news) the media feeds us - we're not stupid, after all. But we're so willing to latch on to the latest fad. What's up with that?
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Latching on to the fad is born from desperation. Being cynical about things that don't directly effect us is easy.

Buying into something that might fix the very thing we hate most about ourselves is EXTREMELY easy.

And marketers take advantage of this, unfortunately.
 
Debster63 said:
Wow, this is intense. I am one of the type that keeps struggling. I have so many responsibiliteis and not a lot of time to do 'my own thing' I have no outlet, so I grab food. I am not sure if it is an addiction but I am happy to have the sweets even though they are not good for me.

When I do get some time I do not want to sped it on exercising, I do not like exercising. so after putting in so much time for others (single mom of 4) and I find i have some time, I refuse to do exercise. I will choose play my vdo games, computer or TV not exercise. I kow I should exercise BUT I AM TIRED, so no go.

I have changed again to be in the right frame of mind and am hoping to stay there. It has been two weeks, I decided on walking everyday, right now about 2000 steps extra a day and then playing outside with the kids. eating small meals every 3 hours instead of waiting until "lunch time, dinner time'

I have not seen the scale move yet (depressing in itself) but I am not so sleepy, tired and I seem to think my clothes are starting to loosen a bit, so I hold onto that.

Deb
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So by directing your focus on the "good" you are able to generate motivation to continue? But it is still hard, right? Because you have so many recent, old connections (mental cues) linked with relaxing and eating "pleasure" food when you have the rare free moment. Is that accurate?

I have talked briefly on here before how what we associate pain and pleasure to directs everything that we do. So I can understand where you are coming from if what I said above is accurate.
 
So by directing your focus on the "good" you are able to generate motivation to continue?
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I can only speak for myself here... but in the begining of my trip down the rabbit hole... the scale would move... inches would move but slowly -and almost one year into it... I'm still obese... We live in a quick fix world - buy things on credit, buy now buy now - we're not - at least im not accustoming to havin to wait for something.
 
I didn't do the quote thing right, but this is an earlier entry of Mal's . . .
I could stand here with my hand on a stack of bibles and believe that I did eat right - I never ate fast food., I never ate fried food, I rarely drank alcohol, I never drank pop - I would have sworn I ate right - travelling 45+ weeks of the year had me eating in a ton of restaurants and livig on starbucks skim milk lattes -I believed that they weren't that bad - Until I sat down and started calculating did I realize that m y healthy diet was an incredible numbe rof calories... I had to be ready to see that -I was that person you hate that says I can't l ose weight and I don't know why...
. . . .


What Mal describes here is where I've been for a long time. I thought I was eating healthy because I was staying away from bad stuff like soda, junk food, fast food, fried food - my line was "I eat healthy, just too much." Now I'm seeing that even though I didn't eat junk food or soda, I was NOT eating healthy because I was piling SO many calories into each day.

Until joining this forum, I could easily find a reason to give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted, no matter how many calories (oh, it's a nice occasion, oh, this is a nice restaurant, oh, it's been a busy week, oh, there may be lots of starch/meat/cheese in that, but there's some spinach too, so it must be o.k.).
 
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