Why is this hard?

The plain truth for me is that terrible food was like a drug. It felt so good to eat terrible things, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I knew it was bad for my health and the sickness, aches and pains I had were because of how I ate, but at the time... I didn't care. I had an itch and it needed to be scratched.

With my nutrition under control, I'm having trouble tackling the next obstacle. I need to exercise. I don't exercise because... well, I don't know why. It's uncomfortable, I guess, and I've never done it, ever in my life. I know its as simple as just getting out and going for a jog each morning, but I can't get up the will to do it for some reason. At the moment, I try to get out and go for walks as much as possible and I like to go kayaking every now and again, but I don't have a gym membership (nor the money for one at the moment) to go and workout regularly. Also, the gym intimidates me. I'll admit it. I've never stepped foot in one and since I've never done anything remotely athletic at any point in my life, it scares me. I'm afraid of working out around people who are clearly in better shape than I am. I guess being fat embarrasses me, but being the fat guy going for a jiggly jog down the street or struggling with 100lbs on the bar (not sure how much I can life, since I"ve never done it) in a gym around a bunch of people embarrasses me even more.
 
I have a few reasons as to why I can't seem to stick to it. I guess the main one is being in poverty. My exercise has never really been the problem, I've always been fairly active, but food consistency is never the same in my house. I've known for years how to eat right and lose weight, but being only 19 I never made the food choices myself. There were weeks upon weeks on end where most of my diet was bread. Usually peanut butter toast. That was all we could afford. Bread and whatever was for dinner. Usually something that was on sale. And Milk.

I found even in the past few months when I had the money to eat healthily, and be consistent with eating right, I was. Then more recently I ran out of money, and it stopped. Fortunately now my mom has found a slightly better paying job, and I can rely on her for eating healthier. Also now that summer is here, all of the fruits and vegetables my county grows are at the road side stands, and super cheap.

Maybe money isn't a good excuse, maybe it is. But it's hard to be consistent with something that you don't know is going to be there next week.

I guess another reason is because I've never been thin. Some people might think that a reason like that should be better motivation, but not for me. I don't know what I'm missing, I don't know what, if anything, I have to look forward to. I'm unsure about myself, and question it. What if I don't like myself thinner, what if I change. It's such an unknown for me. It's territory I don't know if it's safe to step into. It's foreign to me.
 
What an interesting thread! I had never thought about why i found weightloss diff, mainly cos this time i havnt found it difficult really. The only thing i dont like is when the scales dont move and i feel like im exercising for nothing!

I think that I used to find it really inconvenient to live a healthy lifestyle, sounds weird i know but i never used to have time to cook, plan food or exercise. This was because i spent most if my time (outside work) out drinking in bars and clubs and weekends were pretty much a blur of drinking, dancing and crappy takeaway food late at night. Think i was still stuck in student mode and didnt want to leave it and admit i was finally a grown up....

Then i got my first proper job after graduation and i couldnt do the whole partying thing anymore. So that left me really depressed so i ate crappy stuff through the week when i was marking books and planning classes, so at the weekends i more than made up for it. This is when i put on over 40lbs. I ended up so annoyed with myself that i had to re-evaluate what was important to me. Now here i am a year later, no clubbing except weekends (and even then only alcohol on a saturday), making time for my health.

AAltho im not an alcoholic (never NEEDED it , just always enjoyed it!!), i live in Scotland and alcohol is a massive part of the social scene...so i guess for me the only option was to stay home more, focus on being healthy and make time for my health. Im sure i will hit a point where i find it diff to lose but at the moment i am still losing, not too deprived and a damn sight healthier than i have been for years. I have never craved food, and i dont have a particularly large appetite so the wine it must have been!
 
Honestly, I think I'm afraid of not knowing what I would do if I reached my goals. I spend so much time planning and calculating its become a part of what I do everyday. I wouldn't know how to change that once I reached my goal. I've become comfortable doing this. Every time I get within 10 pounds my weight goes back up even though i want so badly to get there. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but I think it must be true. I know how to lose weight. I've done it over and over again, just never to the point where I wouldn't have to do it anymore.
 
For me it's food. Growing up, we ate white pasta, with cheese and lots of it. 'Healthy' food was that nasty cheap bread, the colour of floor sweepings rather then the bleach-white stuff everyone else had. My mother would tell me that 'food isn't love' and give the cake I'd baked to my brother, sitting next to him and cooing, stroking his arm. (Do I sound bitter? I guess I am.) When I was fourteen, she took me aside and told me that she used to be fat too, until she stopped eating. Then, she got a boyfriend, and everything was wonderful. It's absolutely laughable in retrospect, but at the time...

I love food, cooking it, smelling it, serving it to friends. Why is it so bad that I associate food with love? Isn't that the way it's always been? I'm just going to accept that and move on with my life; I'd much rather feel the way that I do then to look at a plate and think, mmmm, love, then 'if I eat this, I'm a worthless human being'. For me, it's been about learning to cook healthy food (and less cakes!), which has been pretty hard, as all those diet recipes seem so weird. I wouldn't eat three or six or whatever it is ounces of chicken in an entire week, and to see some dieters eating that every single day -- and for lunch! -- seems the height of decadence.

Good thread. I'm off to cook dinner :)
 
I think we may have hit on a pretty common issue here:

Difficulty losing weight / sticking to plan / healthy lifestyle because of financial problems (or shortages!)

I still live with my parents, and we've had our ups and downs over the years. I have also lived off bread and peanutbutter for weeks on end! It really does make things easier when you can afford the right foods and enough of them. And I'm not talking about ready-meals or special diet foods, just good things like wholegrain bread, avocados, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and plenty of lean protein and healthy snacks. It certainly adds up!

Thankfully, things have been alright the last few months and I will continue to eat healthily.
 
The only thing I have trouble with now is exercise. After I changed what I would eat, and it became a habit for months. I can eat pizza/ pasta , or fried foods every once awhile- and go right back to the healthy thing, and keep in my calorie range the day I eat a " unhealthy " meal. It's really easy for me to eat well and get back on track with food.

Exercise is a whole different issue entirely. I do very well if I do it a few days in a row, and make it a habit, but once I get off course- go out of town, miss the time I normally do it, its hard to get back on track. I know these may sound like excuses, but it sucks so bad to go outside and do anything in the summer here. LoL It is ALWAYS hot. I love cold weather. I would rather be outside, than in the house when it is cold. So generally, I exercise more in the cold months ( very few we have here anyways.). Also another problem I have is my boobs, they just get in the way! I try to Jog, and even with a good support bra, they bother me. Doing any sit ups- or anything is just a hassle.

I do exercise, but not as much as I should. I know I would be able to maintain a more steady weight loss result, if I did get out and exercise more. I have recently bought a few dance/ yoga/ pilates DVD- and I am hoping I can get interested in those. It is something to do inside and It will not be unbearably hot..
 
Pancake Batter said:
For me it's food. Growing up, we ate white pasta, with cheese and lots of it. 'Healthy' food was that nasty cheap bread, the colour of floor sweepings rather then the bleach-white stuff everyone else had. My mother would tell me that 'food isn't love' and give the cake I'd baked to my brother, sitting next to him and cooing, stroking his arm. (Do I sound bitter? I guess I am.) When I was fourteen, she took me aside and told me that she used to be fat too, until she stopped eating. Then, she got a boyfriend, and everything was wonderful. It's absolutely laughable in retrospect, but at the time...

I love food, cooking it, smelling it, serving it to friends. Why is it so bad that I associate food with love? Isn't that the way it's always been? I'm just going to accept that and move on with my life; I'd much rather feel the way that I do then to look at a plate and think, mmmm, love, then 'if I eat this, I'm a worthless human being'. For me, it's been about learning to cook healthy food (and less cakes!), which has been pretty hard, as all those diet recipes seem so weird. I wouldn't eat three or six or whatever it is ounces of chicken in an entire week, and to see some dieters eating that every single day -- and for lunch! -- seems the height of decadence.

Good thread. I'm off to cook dinner :)
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:-s. I find white bread to be generally disgusting. That's one thing I'm thankful for. I've been eating 100% whole wheat bread for probably 11 years now. (over half my life :-s)At first I hated it , but now I can't go without it. Whole Wheat, or even whole grain bread just tastes so much better to me.
:beating:

(off topic).
 
Now that I've started my regime, I don't find it too difficult to maintain, but getting started on it was the problem. I decided well before Christmas 2007 that I had to do something yet it wasn't until April 2008 that I actually did something.

Money is definitely a big big factor. Until recently I didn't have the money to get a gym membership or pay for the gym on a regular basis, and I never used to be able to cook so I was always relying on cheap ready made meals or just snacking on crap throughout the day. A weeks shopping, now that I can cook healthy proper meals, costs about £15 or so more than it used to for me and my boyfriend [doesn't help living in London], but of course, it's worth it.

I think the ability to cook was another factor. It is so important, at least to me. My mother never cooked me anything more than fish fingers and chips when I was young and as soon as I was able to use the oven she would stock the cupboards with ready meals and pizzas, and when I asked her to get a certain type of food she would buy it once and then forget to continue buying it even when I asked. My grandma used to cook for me 2-3 times a week good wholesome meals, but in my teenage years until now her eyesight and general health has deteriorated so she is unable to do this sadly, so from the age of about 10, about the time I changed from a normal sized girl to a slightly cubby girl.

And I think another huge factor for me personally is the judgement of my mother, who is quite skinny [mainly due to the fact that she lives on coffee and cigarettes]. I did manage to lose quite a lot of weight when I was about 15, but I put it all back on because I never felt good about myself for losing the weight. My mother would constantly tell me I was fat [at that point I had a BMI of about 23] and so I stopped as at that point I felt I couldn't win her approval and felt there was no point. She still calls me fat now, but I don't care what she thinks anymore because I'm doing it for me not her.
 
LowFatMilk said:
:-s. I find white bread to be generally disgusting. That's one thing I'm thankful for. I've been eating 100% whole wheat bread for probably 11 years now. (over half my life :-s)At first I hated it , but now I can't go without it. Whole Wheat, or even whole grain bread just tastes so much better to me.
:beating:

(off topic).
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Whole grain is fantastic. I won't eat white now. I meant that cheap crap -- it didn't have any visible grains in it, it was just grey instead of white. Nasty!
 
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