Why is this hard?
- Thread starter Steve
- Start date
brunettegoddess
New member
I do think neuro-chemical would be a good explanation. I only put one spoonful of that ice cream in my mouth and I felt this rush of a warm sensation... sort of like something was nicely hugging my entire body. But I would also agree with other ppl who say that they have related food to companionship or as a way to seek happiness. In essense I think that after years of finding joy inside an ice cream container or at the McDonalds drive thru, the brain reacts on a level where endorphins or other make-you-feel-good chemicals are secreted.
THERE ARE SUPPLEMENTS? I will definitely google Greens plus but oh, Steve, do tell me about this. I thought the only supplements out there were vitamins, fish, oils, and the like (I know that there are more supplements but I'm not listing them here because it would take forever).
I'm not implying that it's your way or the highway.
It is so rare that someone will flat out tell you that you are wrong and after so seriously and intently reading the last few posts, being told I was wrong made me giggle... in a good way. It's refreshing to know there are still ppl out there who will set you straight when you are misinformed.
Also, I saw something before about PITA... what is that?
thats a label I wear proudly
PAIN IN THE ASS
Im assuming he said it with a great deal of affection
It’s definitely related to self discipline I think. I've been obese for many years and just never cared to change. I've always had a great self-image regardless of weight and a positive mental attitude about life so despite being statistically obese I've always had friends and girl friends so I never had the emotional challenges. I just want to be healthy from now on so that's what I'm going to do. It's all a decision!
Last edited:
I buy into that. I think once pathways (neuro-chemical and habitual) are laid, trenches form, and it is very hard to "hop" off track. Not only is it hard due to the uncomfortable feelings associated with stepping outside of one's comfort zone. But is hard too, b/c your brain is literally resisting your actions.
At least that is what I have always thought based on my own experiences to date.
Well, I am not promising you anything. I took Greens plus years ago and if I remember, I didn't like the taste. However, it was very quick, and it might be worth a try.
Greens Plus is basically ground veggies formed into a powder. They basically take all the fluid out and most of the calories and leave you with a high concentration of veggie extracts and micronutrients, which, as you know, are critical for health.
Llamabean
New member
That is exactly what I was trying to say - only much more eloquent.
My entire struggle can be attributed to internal dialogue. Not even subconscious - I'll actually say to myself "Hey - I know I'm doing this weight loss thing, but I'm going to have pizza today anyway. I know I'm sabotaging myself, but I'll probably think about doing well tomorrow." WTH? Why would I allow myself to say that?!
And to clarify - it's not like my roommate offered me the pizza. It totally wasn't a social thing, I just stole some of her pizza because I wanted it.
When I had a deadline - a costume I had to fit in by April - I did well. Now that April is past and I still have some weight to lose, I haven't been doing so well. And it's because I never got control over my internal dialogue, I just kept talking about the costume and not about the pizza.
Yes, self discipline is incredibly important once the ball is rolling. However, telling someone to stay disciplined and you will succeed before the ball picks up momentum isn't going to work 99% of the time.
If it works for you, feel fortunate.
That is your subconscious controlling you. Your internal dialog is your subconscious for the most part. You are CONSCIOUSLY saying "Hey - I know I'm doing this weight loss thing, bet I'm going to have pizza....."
Consciously, it makes perfect sense that you shouldn't eat the pizza.
Subconsciously, not so much. Our subconscious minds do NOT know right from wrong, fact from fiction.
And more importantly, as you proved here in your post, our subconscious mind usually wins out when it comes to making a decision.
kezzypear
New member
By 'people like you' I only meant people who do not understand why others may not change themselves even if they know how. I assumed you fell into this catagory by your early posts, if this is wrong and you were just playing devils advocate then sorry, and I didn't mean to sound mean!
ToothlessFerret
New member
I sometimes feel guilty here on this board, because this time at least, I found it so easy. Ok, I only had 50 pounds to lose, but its never just been about weight loss for me, its also been about fitness, health, and learning how to live in a new and better way. Its been about constructing a new me.
Ok, so, I found losing weight and adopting a new lifestyle easy. But I was overweight and unfit for most of my previous 43 years! Why did I leave it so late before I decided to sort my fitness out? I had dieted a number of times before with varied success, but nothing long term. This time it feels completely different. I guess that I thought that I was happy enough being overweight and unfit. I knew that I was heading for an early grave, but I didn't seem to care. Being fat was part of who I was. I suppose that I was in a rut, and unaware that I could take control, that being fit was worth the effort, and that it would improve my quality of life. I didn't know how to take control. I didn't feel that I was important.
I guess so. For me, the trigger to lose weight was getting that husky pup. I was so afraid of not being able to handle him, that I was suddenly desperate to get fit enough to exercise him. A day or two after bringing him home, I decided to lose weight. I didn't have any plan, I just started eating healthier - lots of salads, fish, etc. The dog walks became dog runs, and I started realising that feeling fitter was actually rather nice. I bought a cheap bike, later I joined a gym - I became hooked on this new feeling. Where exactly this new 'construct' occurred I don't really know. Maybe because this time, I felt that I had to get fit, rather than I wanted to just lose weight. Maybe, because once the process of change was on its way, I started to enjoy my new abilities, and enjoy how I felt and looked. Then I realised that I was onto something else rather than just 'dieting'.
This time, it hasn't been hard for me - hence a certain amount of guilt when I see others struggling to keep going. But I only had 50 pounds to lose. That 50 pounds was only a temporary goal though. Once I achieved that, I set new goals, such as 'becoming one of the 5% long term weight losers'; to maintain and improve my fitness, health, nutrition, and exercise plans; and to try and grow some muscle on my long self-abused and ancient body
I see some people come on here with good intention at losing weight, but with very different approaches to mine: fad diets, supplements, etc. Some people seem to throw themselves at the cardio machines in gyms day after day for hour after hour. Some people seem to try and spend their way to fitness by buying every piece of exercise and weight loss gadgetry and diet plan. How can people sustain these sorts of lifestyle long term? How do they not burn themselves and their aspirations out.
For me its for life, and to sustain it, I need to enjoy the pace, the exercise, the food, and the relaxation. That means finding activities that I can enjoy. I like weight training in the gym, but three hours per week is enough for me. I like to get outside - its not just the exercise its also about taking in the blue skies, the greenery, the air, its about living. Its also about learning to enjoy the R & R, and that feeling of improved fitness. Its like a drug, you want to keep it.
DeepGreen
New member
Yep, its a long one...
Very long and personal post (gets really sappy and moody sometimes, and I am little embarrassed posting it). I am sorry, but it is the truth, deep down in the heart.
This is a huge topic and the amount of words I could use to describe the difficulty of this endeavor can fill a whole novel.
First off: I think the education factor is a bunch of BS (my beautiful generalizations). Straight up. Remember the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education). How many students, after successfully passing these programs, went out, and became drug addicts or tried smoking?
Almost everyone knows the ill effects of smoking. Also, the amount of financial burden that goes along with it. But why do people smoke? I took classes on weight loss in my senior year in high school. I knew exactly what to do. But still, education alone won’t bring you from point A to point B.
I think everyone knows the basic concept of weight gain and loss. Basically, exercise and eat right.
But taking it from a more personal stand point, I've been overweight all my life. I don't know what’s worse then being the fat kid in the play ground. I was. I was abused and tormented, never had a single friend (well, a lie, a few), and I longed for one so badly. I convinced myself I was such a horrible person and I didn’t deserve friends; didn’t deserve happiness. And I always thought to myself, I would never wish that faith for anyone else. I knew how much I suffered, and thinking back to some of those times, my eyes start to get watery. Needless to say, it shattered my motivation. (I would never describe myself as having depression, ever or now. I was always a very happy child.)
And someone said something along the lines as “I didn’t want it bad enough?” I wanted it soooo badly, and the thoughts of selling my soul to the devil to be the “ideal image” came across my mind a few times.
It’s sad to think that I officially accepted that the fat was apart of me. That I would have a lonely miserable life, and die, never finding true happiness.
I believe obesity is 98% mental. For me, my self esteem was at an all time low. I hate going out in public, meeting new people. They would only see the fat and talk about me behind my back Even today, I'm terrified, especially being around the opposite sex, I just wanted to curl up into a little ball and place myself in the corner, where no one can’t see me. I found comfort in food, at home, but I wouldn't say I was a food addict.
Another one of my major problems were inconsistently and procrastination. I remember every day, saying I would start tomorrow. Then the next day, I would say I would start the next day and so on. The thought of starting now absolutely scared the crap out of me. And there would be times where I would exercise like crazy, lose weight, and then totally say "screw it", either because the weight wasn't coming off fast enough, I didn't care, or eating that brownie provided more pleasure (instant gratification) then being thin.
And there was the being ashamed and embarrassed problem. I know, for me, walking into the gym was one of the hardest things I've done in my life. I felt people would watch me, and laugh, saying “heh, another fat kid is trying to lose weight” (one of the reasons why I jog at nite, there is hardly anyone outside)
A couple physical boundaries I would think about was my mom's cooking habits. My mom idea of a meal was to serve a big plate of rice with sauce on top of it. We practically ate rice 7 days a week (which may explain why everyone (and I MEAN EVERYONE ) with the exception of 2 cousins on my mom side of the family, everyone is overweight) (I used to use genetics as an excuse, now I say it plays a factor, but its not the sole reason why I am obese).
Lately though, my mom has been cooking better through education, and we have learned to use portion control (education does help, somewhat).
Another one would be the toll my body took for carrying all that excess baggage. My body often times felt sore. When I would run in my PE class my lower back would hurt. My feet would hurt. Sometimes, my legs would be extremely sore the next day, do to chaffing effects. I would be super conscious with my chest and gut jiggling (more mental, I know). Losing weight isn’t with some of the physical restrains isn’t easy either.
But my biggest reason of why was it hard was because of my low self esteem-I thought I could never do it, and that I would fail. I would fail every time. Reasons for me to feel like this were based on two factors. The first was the effects of being over weight (and many people do not know how being over weight effects you, it affects everything). The second, my dad was over critical on everything and anything I did. Anything I would do, he would always find some flaw in it. Something. He rarely gave me a compliment and I got used to it. Please understand though, I love my father very dearly; he is a very good parent and would never intentionally hurt me.
I believe there are a lot of factors for weight loss. The first is definitely motivation. You can think of plenty more for the rest.
What caused me to lose the weight were two factors. The first one, I found someone there for me, who gave me the motivation and the power that I never had. She believed what I never thought I would do, and she thought I could do it. The second was for health reasons. My god, I had freaking high blood pressure through the roof.
So to sum up: Major boundaries for people losing weight: low self of esteem, being to self conscious, aches and pains associated with being overweight, and just thinking they will never succeed.
And…I’ll admit, I guess I’m losing it partially out of vanity. Well actually, no. Right now, at my standpoint, I would never want to be popular or admired. I just wish to be average. Yep, average Joe, just like everyone people. So people can pass me by and not even notice me. (and yes, I do know I suffer from maybe a few anxiety disorders, and I may have slight paranoia (don’t worry though, I am not psychotic)).
I am slowly regaining self confidence (slowly) and gaining the mindset that I am doing the weight loss for myself and to be in good health and fitness.
Steve, and that’s how I can sum it up. Deep down, from the heart. I held nothing back. And please understand, I am not whining about my childhood and it really does make me feel bad. People are starving all over the world, being raped, abused…and…I am not thankful everyday for what I have for which others wished everyday they had.
Very long and personal post (gets really sappy and moody sometimes, and I am little embarrassed posting it). I am sorry
, but it is the truth, deep down in the heart.This is a huge topic and the amount of words I could use to describe the difficulty of this endeavor can fill a whole novel.
First off: I think the education factor is a bunch of BS (my beautiful generalizations). Straight up. Remember the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education). How many students, after successfully passing these programs, went out, and became drug addicts or tried smoking?
Almost everyone knows the ill effects of smoking. Also, the amount of financial burden that goes along with it. But why do people smoke? I took classes on weight loss in my senior year in high school. I knew exactly what to do. But still, education alone won’t bring you from point A to point B.
I think everyone knows the basic concept of weight gain and loss. Basically, exercise and eat right.
But taking it from a more personal stand point, I've been overweight all my life. I don't know what’s worse then being the fat kid in the play ground. I was. I was abused and tormented, never had a single friend (well, a lie, a few), and I longed for one so badly. I convinced myself I was such a horrible person and I didn’t deserve friends; didn’t deserve happiness. And I always thought to myself, I would never wish that faith for anyone else. I knew how much I suffered, and thinking back to some of those times, my eyes start to get watery. Needless to say, it shattered my motivation. (I would never describe myself as having depression, ever or now. I was always a very happy child.)
And someone said something along the lines as “I didn’t want it bad enough?” I wanted it soooo badly, and the thoughts of selling my soul to the devil to be the “ideal image” came across my mind a few times.
It’s sad to think that I officially accepted that the fat was apart of me. That I would have a lonely miserable life, and die, never finding true happiness.
I believe obesity is 98% mental. For me, my self esteem was at an all time low. I hate going out in public, meeting new people. They would only see the fat and talk about me behind my back Even today, I'm terrified, especially being around the opposite sex, I just wanted to curl up into a little ball and place myself in the corner, where no one can’t see me. I found comfort in food, at home, but I wouldn't say I was a food addict.
Another one of my major problems were inconsistently and procrastination. I remember every day, saying I would start tomorrow. Then the next day, I would say I would start the next day and so on. The thought of starting now absolutely scared the crap out of me. And there would be times where I would exercise like crazy, lose weight, and then totally say "screw it", either because the weight wasn't coming off fast enough, I didn't care, or eating that brownie provided more pleasure (instant gratification) then being thin.
And there was the being ashamed and embarrassed problem. I know, for me, walking into the gym was one of the hardest things I've done in my life. I felt people would watch me, and laugh, saying “heh, another fat kid is trying to lose weight” (one of the reasons why I jog at nite, there is hardly anyone outside)
A couple physical boundaries I would think about was my mom's cooking habits. My mom idea of a meal was to serve a big plate of rice with sauce on top of it. We practically ate rice 7 days a week (which may explain why everyone (and I MEAN EVERYONE ) with the exception of 2 cousins on my mom side of the family, everyone is overweight) (I used to use genetics as an excuse, now I say it plays a factor, but its not the sole reason why I am obese).
Lately though, my mom has been cooking better through education, and we have learned to use portion control (education does help, somewhat).
Another one would be the toll my body took for carrying all that excess baggage. My body often times felt sore. When I would run in my PE class my lower back would hurt. My feet would hurt. Sometimes, my legs would be extremely sore the next day, do to chaffing effects. I would be super conscious with my chest and gut jiggling (more mental, I know). Losing weight isn’t with some of the physical restrains isn’t easy either.
But my biggest reason of why was it hard was because of my low self esteem-I thought I could never do it, and that I would fail. I would fail every time. Reasons for me to feel like this were based on two factors. The first was the effects of being over weight (and many people do not know how being over weight effects you, it affects everything). The second, my dad was over critical on everything and anything I did. Anything I would do, he would always find some flaw in it. Something. He rarely gave me a compliment and I got used to it. Please understand though, I love my father very dearly; he is a very good parent and would never intentionally hurt me.
I believe there are a lot of factors for weight loss. The first is definitely motivation. You can think of plenty more for the rest.
What caused me to lose the weight were two factors. The first one, I found someone there for me, who gave me the motivation and the power that I never had. She believed what I never thought I would do, and she thought I could do it. The second was for health reasons. My god, I had freaking high blood pressure through the roof.
So to sum up: Major boundaries for people losing weight: low self of esteem, being to self conscious, aches and pains associated with being overweight, and just thinking they will never succeed.
And…I’ll admit, I guess I’m losing it partially out of vanity. Well actually, no. Right now, at my standpoint, I would never want to be popular or admired. I just wish to be average. Yep, average Joe, just like everyone people. So people can pass me by and not even notice me. (and yes, I do know I suffer from maybe a few anxiety disorders, and I may have slight paranoia (don’t worry though, I am not psychotic
)).I am slowly regaining self confidence (slowly) and gaining the mindset that I am doing the weight loss for myself and to be in good health and fitness.
Steve, and that’s how I can sum it up. Deep down, from the heart. I held nothing back. And please understand, I am not whining about my childhood and it really does make me feel bad. People are starving all over the world, being raped, abused…and…I am not thankful everyday for what I have for which others wished everyday they had.
Typical straw man argument.
While I agree with you that education is not the be-all-end-all component of adopting consistency.... I do believe it plays a role. I certainly don't think it's a bunch of "BS" as you elegantly put it.
You refute that people know what to do. Right?
How about this. Follow me around this forum for a day and see how many people DON'T know what they are doing. Better yet, read posts from when I first signed onto this board. You'd be amazed how many people were clueless about how to lose weight.
We can agree to disagree, that is fine. I just wanted to share my view of the topic at hand, which is based on my interactions with a large number of people who are ignorant when it comes to "knowing the hows and whys."
While I never walked in your shoes, I certainly am sorry that you had to deal with that. Having being associated with the "overweight community" for quite some time now, I see how hard and cruel life can be at times. The harshness is only magnified for our overweight youth living in today's society.
It was I, who said this. And it was purposefully pompous. I was guiding the conversation, of course I am not REALLY that shallow. I know you weren't calling me out.... but for clarification's sake.
I completely agree with you. You might be a little off.... it might be something like 99% mental. And that 1% is set aside for the small population of obese people that actually have physiological pathologies that cause the obesity, and therefore have trouble helping/improving the condition.
The mind is an awesomely powerful object.
I wouldn't call this "another one of my major problems."
IMO, what you are describing here is one and the same as inefficiencies of the mind. These inefficiencies lead to procrastination and the inability to adhere to what you are consciously thinking or saying.
Certainly is a major factor, and one of the major reasons why general "diet and exercise programs" and PE teachers aren't a good match when it comes to lifestyle prescription for an obese individual.
Obesity calls for a lot of customization and personalization when it comes to the hows.
I am glad you found someone that gives you purpose and reason. That is huge.
And regarding the health issues, unfortunately, that is usually the main reason people come to someone like me. They reach that
point in the journey of life. Sometimes it is soon enough. Other times it isn't. The body can only take so much abuse.
And this is why I believe teaching how to change, mold, and use your mind as a tool is a critical component of program design for ANYONE, especially obese individuals. Change the mind, change perceptions, and the rest will follow usually, before you reach that
point.Thanks very much for sharing your experiences. It takes a lot to open up about such a personal component of your life. It means a lot.
Last edited:
DeepGreen
New member
I knew you were gonna slam on this, and I thought of deleting this after I wrote it, heh. But as I put on the end, it is one of my famous "generaliazations". (of course my PT generalization does not stand for you steve
)What I meant was that education does help tremendously.
But, you were right, I was wrong, I still wonder why I got so big. What I meant to say, most of us knows the *fundamentals* on how weight loss/gain operates.
You kinda follow?
I knew you were gonna slam on this, and I thought of deleting this after I wrote it, heh. But as I put on the end, it is one of my famous "generaliazations". (of course my PT generalization does not stand for you steve
What I meant was that education does help tremendously.
But, you were right, I was wrong, I still wonder why I got so big. What I meant to say, most of us knows the *fundamentals* on how weight loss/gain operates.
You kinda follow?
I follow
I just like to be difficult. You know this
Again, thanks for sharing.
slimmom
New member
Thanks for that post, Deep Green, and for yours Tom O, much earlier. One more answer to "why is this hard" is that unhealthy, high calorie, high fat, low nutrition food is EVERYWHERE in our society. And, the advertising for it is great and so enticing. I'm in the big city, and I can hardly step into any establishment that sells food over the counter that doesn't have a huge tray of brownies or gigantor muffins or both right in front of me. When I lived in a small town, it was every convenience store with all those candy bars and chips up front. Billboards and t.v. show slim, happy, stylish-looking people sipping the latest sugar-laden, whip-cream topped beverage or eating the latest ginormous burger. Why shouldn't I? My slim friends eat those things. Why shouldn't I?
Whether its strangers on the street or friends, over and over again I see fit people eating yummy things, and it's been so easy to tell myself that it must be o.k. for me to eat those things too. Advertisers are telling me it's o.k. (though I don't realize at the time that they're doing it, I just start thinking about that yummy brownie I saw earlier . . . ) and I'm interpreting on my own that it's o.k. to indulge. Before I joined this forum, I didn't even realize that it was, in fact, indulging.
Having read this entire thread and learned a lot from it, I think what I'm describing is a combination of factors, self-talk and education (or lack thereof). I just wanted to add that part of what makes this so hard is the fact that it is SO easy, in the moment, to succumb to our culture of plenty rather than to refrain for our own individual healthfulness.
Whether its strangers on the street or friends, over and over again I see fit people eating yummy things, and it's been so easy to tell myself that it must be o.k. for me to eat those things too. Advertisers are telling me it's o.k. (though I don't realize at the time that they're doing it, I just start thinking about that yummy brownie I saw earlier . . . ) and I'm interpreting on my own that it's o.k. to indulge. Before I joined this forum, I didn't even realize that it was, in fact, indulging.
Having read this entire thread and learned a lot from it, I think what I'm describing is a combination of factors, self-talk and education (or lack thereof). I just wanted to add that part of what makes this so hard is the fact that it is SO easy, in the moment, to succumb to our culture of plenty rather than to refrain for our own individual healthfulness.
indigoiis
New member
I agree. It's everywhere. Unless you get stranded on a desert isle.
Watch Tom Hanks go from chubby ugly-sweater wearing latte-sipping efficiency geek to lank, muscular and healthy (but for the sunspot and the abcessed tooth) George-of-the-Jungle in Castaway.
I keep thinking - what would that guy have for lunch? Mmm. More coconuts and fish.
But then, I'm not stranded anywhere.
Watch Tom Hanks go from chubby ugly-sweater wearing latte-sipping efficiency geek to lank, muscular and healthy (but for the sunspot and the abcessed tooth) George-of-the-Jungle in Castaway.
I keep thinking - what would that guy have for lunch? Mmm. More coconuts and fish.
But then, I'm not stranded anywhere.