We all do it, especially women: We set a goal for ourselves and then promptly send it hurtling down the toilet. End result: frustration, anger, self-hatred, anxiety, hopelessness. The list goes on.
When we do this to ourselves, we are listening to the voice that tells us: "Why bother trying? You're never going to succeed. So why don't I just stop you right here and save you the trouble?" How do we counteract this voice of negativity? How do we set a weight-loss goal for ourselves without losing resolve one day --or one hour-- later?
My goal at present, as it has been since my early 20s, is to weigh 120 pounds. I have convinced myself that I simply cannot be happy until I achieve this desired weight, regardless of whether or not this belief is true or worthy or frivolous. The fact is that I will continue to suffer from bouts of extreme anxiety until I get my weight down to this number.
As if weight loss weren't hard enough when one is not horrendously overweight, I am now dealing with the added stressor of my home elliptical machine being out of order. I had managed to get a few more uses out of it before it finally died last Saturday.
I am restless and anxious because I can't exercise they way I want and need to; walking is simply not vigorous enough for me. More urgently, though, I am worried about being unable to "undo" the damage from overeating. For many years I have relied on a combination of regular exercise and, ashamedly, occasional purging to rid my body of excess calories.
Confronted with this current problem of limited calorie expenditure, I would like to lose these 10-15 lbs. healthfully and meaningfully without turning to a "quick fix" and without depending entirely on exercise. So why is it so hard to control my eating? Why does vigilance or slight restriction feel like punishment, prompting me to overeat, thus sending my self-esteem plummeting and my weight even higher?
I don't bat an eye when I see a handbag or dress that I want but can't have. When it comes to food, though, why is the automatic response: "I want it, therefore I must have it"? Why do I feel entitled, deserving of every fun food that looks appealing? Why do self-control and reason fly out the window in the presence of tempting treats? It's not like I deny myself the foods I like. But when I do eat them, I am always plagued by guilt and the worry of how and when I will burn off the calories. Anxiety accompanies each delicious bite of carrot cake or toast with peanut butter (creamy, not chunky).
So how do I embark on a modest eating plan that will get me down to 120 pounds, either with or without exercise? I already eat healthfully and I refuse to go hungry.
When we do this to ourselves, we are listening to the voice that tells us: "Why bother trying? You're never going to succeed. So why don't I just stop you right here and save you the trouble?" How do we counteract this voice of negativity? How do we set a weight-loss goal for ourselves without losing resolve one day --or one hour-- later?
My goal at present, as it has been since my early 20s, is to weigh 120 pounds. I have convinced myself that I simply cannot be happy until I achieve this desired weight, regardless of whether or not this belief is true or worthy or frivolous. The fact is that I will continue to suffer from bouts of extreme anxiety until I get my weight down to this number.
As if weight loss weren't hard enough when one is not horrendously overweight, I am now dealing with the added stressor of my home elliptical machine being out of order. I had managed to get a few more uses out of it before it finally died last Saturday.
I am restless and anxious because I can't exercise they way I want and need to; walking is simply not vigorous enough for me. More urgently, though, I am worried about being unable to "undo" the damage from overeating. For many years I have relied on a combination of regular exercise and, ashamedly, occasional purging to rid my body of excess calories.
Confronted with this current problem of limited calorie expenditure, I would like to lose these 10-15 lbs. healthfully and meaningfully without turning to a "quick fix" and without depending entirely on exercise. So why is it so hard to control my eating? Why does vigilance or slight restriction feel like punishment, prompting me to overeat, thus sending my self-esteem plummeting and my weight even higher?
I don't bat an eye when I see a handbag or dress that I want but can't have. When it comes to food, though, why is the automatic response: "I want it, therefore I must have it"? Why do I feel entitled, deserving of every fun food that looks appealing? Why do self-control and reason fly out the window in the presence of tempting treats? It's not like I deny myself the foods I like. But when I do eat them, I am always plagued by guilt and the worry of how and when I will burn off the calories. Anxiety accompanies each delicious bite of carrot cake or toast with peanut butter (creamy, not chunky).
So how do I embark on a modest eating plan that will get me down to 120 pounds, either with or without exercise? I already eat healthfully and I refuse to go hungry.
