Who drives you crazy?

I think there needs to be a new title for this thread "Over sensitive People". The world is not perfect. Instead of talking about what pisses you off go out in the world and do something. Im sick of all the posts saying basically, "He won't date me because im fat." If your bigger(like I am) you just have to have that much more of a better personality. Get over it and stop complaining.
 
Bigguy2007 said:
I think there needs to be a new title for this thread "Over sensitive People". The world is not perfect. Instead of talking about what pisses you off go out in the world and do something. Im sick of all the posts saying basically, "He won't date me because im fat." If your bigger(like I am) you just have to have that much more of a better personality. Get over it and stop complaining.
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Poorly worded (insensitive clod, you sound like me!) but very true. I hate complainers who wont do anything about it.
 
"You are SOOOOO lucky to have lost the weight!"

These people annoy the shit right out of me......

Luck never had anything to do with my weight loss and I did not achieve what I did through dumb luck....

It was blood, sweat and tears. Bottom line. I made the changes in my life, I wasn't "lucky enough" to have them happen to me.

If anyone is lucky, maybe its my wife.... :)
She married a fat guy out of love, but she is getting a stud-muffin out of the deal! And I am lucky to have a family that supported me to do it! Thats real luck!

:party:

sirant
 
mikitta said:
I think the point of the whole heavy guys who disparage heavy women thing was a comment on the inherent hypocrisy of that situation.

My mother was bulemic for most of my growing up years because my father (fat slob that he was) told her that if she didn't stay really skinny, he would leave her. THAT is a sick and sorry shame.

Fat prejudice ... alive and alarmingly well within the minds of many fat men for sure.

I'm not saying that overweight isn't unattractive. It is. For the most part, we are wired to be attracted to the healthy and fit. It's a species survival thing - we want to choose mates that are likely to withstand any challenges that come down the pike and thrive along side us.

But I think a lot of guys cut off their noses to spite their faces when they turn up their noses at heavier women. It's easier for a fat girl to loose the weight than a dumb girl to grow a brain. Likewise, it's harder for a cruel woman with no personality to speak of to suddenly become kind and compassionate and interesting for her own merits than it is for a chunky woman to drop the excess body fat.

Not saying all skinny women are dumb, dull or demonic - but it is an observation that too many men, when given the choice between a hot babe that sorely lacks a good personality and intelligence or a chunky woman who has an exemplary personality- will choose the hot babe every time - then go to the fat girl and cry about how horrid she is because she is stupid or mean - but he'll stay with her because she fills some idiotic fantasy about having sex with Twiggy.

Those guys deserve a swift kick in the rear.

God Bless,
mik
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Thank you Mik. That was my point exactly. I am not Naive. I understand that some people are more concerned about the cover of the book. I have had many guy friends growing up, some really close. What made them not become "boyfriends" was not my lack of doing what I could do. It was that they didn't like the idea of a fat "girlfriend". My personality has nothing to do with it. I was about 20 pounds overweight on a 5'7-5-8 body...so I definitely wasn't grossly obese with mounds of flesh to fish through. Let's face it men want what they want because they want to show it off. I am 36 now, I have been married for 13 years and I have 5 kids. So I couldn't care less and I certainly don't cry over it. But, it does still occur. It is a problem. All these teenage and preteen girls who don't want to get fat because then the boys won't like them. I feel bad for them.
Cathy
 
Bigguy2007 said:
I think there needs to be a new title for this thread "Over sensitive People". The world is not perfect. Instead of talking about what pisses you off go out in the world and do something. Im sick of all the posts saying basically, "He won't date me because im fat." If your bigger(like I am) you just have to have that much more of a better personality. Get over it and stop complaining.
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Oh and BTW Bigguy...why would you even post here if YOU didn't want to complain. You say we are crying because "He won't date me because I am fat"....wasn't your initial whine that 'she won't date me because I am fat'. You are right the world isn't perfect...what are you doing to change it?
 
Infomercials are my pet peeve, yet I am strangely drawn in by them. I hate the marketing schemes, the "testimonials" and the people who lose tons of weight by seemingly doing nothing. I watch them sometimes just because they are so off-the-wall.
 
there's one that I've seen a bunch of times, generally around 3 or 4 am -with the 60 year old woman named greer soemthing who wants to think she's 25 -she's overly tanned and has long bleached blonde hair (I seriously wouldn't mind looking like her but there's something just sad about women like that... :D

With her program you can shape your body in just 7 minutes a day :) I swear I'm tempted to buy it just to get one more thing that will never work but it fascinates the hell out of me because she has an actual Medical doctor (as opposed to non medical doctors) giving testimonials... I just love the term "Diametric Resistance" that she uses... that the muscles work against each other and all you have to do is stand still :)

But it works I tell ya -:) those people on the informercials wouldn't lie :)
 
I'll tell you what ticks me off...

Every time I've ever lost weight, people will come up to me and ask bluntly, "So, how much weight have you lost?" Like they're entitled to know. I've always been kinda self conscious about my weight, and it's personal to me, you know?

THEN, when they hear how I'm doing it, I can count on a 10 minute rant on how that would never work for them. No one said you had to do what I'm doing.

It's as though the fact that I've succeeded insults them or makes them insecure or defensive because they haven't.

But then what has REALLY ticked me off every time is gaining it all back.

THIS time, that's not going to happen!

Lori
 
maleficent said:
Because people don't always want to believe that simpler is better and if an ad is promoting super fast weight loss with minimal effort, that sounds a helluva lot more appealing than slower method and actually having to be accountable for what you're eating... Quick seems to trump slow every time...

I willingly tried all sorts of pills and other stuff in an attempt to lose weight ad keep it off becasue I thought I had no alternative...

As a person who tried every stupid method in the book, to loose a few pounds only to gain back twice as mch as I lost to begin with. It took me to age 41 to get it... and I've said this 1000 times on this site alone - I was never a fast food eater, I rarely ate junk food or anythig processed, i got to 383lbs eating what most people would consider a healthy diet - and I was convinced that there was somethig wrong with me that I couldn't lose weight because I was eating what I was supposed to be and avoidig what I was supposed to.. It wasn't until I started weighing and measurig and keeping track of calories that I realized the error of my ways...
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This is a personal question so feel free to ignore, but being around this forum a lot its interesting to me. Approximately how many calories a day were you getting at that time to reach 383 lbs?
 
Not too personal at all...

It's honestly hard to tell because I was travelling about 48 weeks out of the year - eating 3 meals a day on the road - certain things I'd "think" were healthy -like a venti skim latte - but x4 a day those calories add up - a low fat blueberry muffin still has a lot of calories ... so while I thought I made healthy choices - if I actually sat down and tried to calculate the number of calories -It was probably easily over 4000 calories a day.. on non junk, non fried, non fast food.
 
Wow, this was a funny thread.

The reality is that people tend to wind up together according to a similar "looks scale". Know what I mean? You'll see a hot looking couple, an average looking couple, a rather unattractive couple together LOL. I'm not saying I agree with it or its a good thing, but it sort of seems to be true if you look around at couples. Though the people may look totally different, you'd rate both the guy and the girl as a 7 or whatever.

Even though there was the "qualifier" that thin people aren't all dumb or have horrible personalities, it seems like there's this view that people's brains are somehow affected by their weight and if they're thin then they are more likely to be dumb and have a horrible personality and if their overweight then they have a great personality and are really bright? I dunno, I dont really think the weight has much to do with it. I've met smart and dumb people of both sizes as well as nice people and asses of both sizes.
 
maleficent said:
Not too personal at all...

It's honestly hard to tell because I was travelling about 48 weeks out of the year - eating 3 meals a day on the road - certain things I'd "think" were healthy -like a venti skim latte - but x4 a day those calories add up - a low fat blueberry muffin still has a lot of calories ... so while I thought I made healthy choices - if I actually sat down and tried to calculate the number of calories -It was probably easily over 4000 calories a day.. on non junk, non fried, non fast food.
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Do you really estimate the "healthyish sounding" restaurant meals to add up to 4000 calories for just 3 meals?! I dunno, I've gone years eating out at practically every single meal (living in a big take-out city as you know having lived here for 15 years) and I couldn't have eaten that and, at the time, maintained around 128. Not that I dont believe you. Its just astounding how many calories some restaurants can squeeze into 3 friggin meals!
 
my latte habit played a big part of those calories -but a grilled piece of salmon (I will admit to being a hamburger addict,b ut good burgers, not the stuff served at mcdonalds - and no bun - those pack in the calories... with a side dish and a glass of wine or a beer could easily be over 1000 calories... watch the chef's at the grill sometimes -they are very very very liberal with the squeeze bottle of olive oil :D

If a person doesn't pay attention -those calories add up -and contrary to popular opinion it doesnt have to come from cheese fries, nachos and deep fried whatever...
 
agreed, nothing like a sab of brie cheese to whack up those calories on a 'healthy' salad or burger. Also nuts etc amoung other things.
 
Blancita said:
Do you really estimate the "healthyish sounding" restaurant meals to add up to 4000 calories for just 3 meals?!
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Starbucks Reduced Fat Banana Soy Muffin (420 cal) + venti nonfat eggnog latte (440 cal) = 860 cal.

Quiznos regular Tuna Melt (1,420 cal) + Baked Lays (110 cal) + Oatmeal Raisin Cookie (340 cal) + water (zero!) = 1,870

Qdoba - Grilled Veggie Burrito with corn salsa, light sour cream, and cheese (620+60+60+160 = 900 cal) + tortilla soup (240) + a Corona (150 cal) = 1,290

Total for the day: 4,020

If you eat all your food on the road, it's *easy* for the calories to add up fast. And if you're used to eating too much, you don't offset it by eating less of the next meal.

At about 40 pounds down, I found myself stuck ordering delivered-in food from an unknown restaurant while at a client's office, and I picked something that sounded "healthyish" from a menu that didn't appeal to me at all. And, starving, I ate what I got. Google later revealed that the smallish sandwich had more than 1,000 calories - which I had already guessed, because I was miserably sick to my stomach and didn't want to eat anything for the rest of the day. A year or two ago, I'd have thought nothing of eating that sandwich, and some chips, and a drink, and dinner later in the day. (Now when I visit that client, I make sure to eat something substantial but healthy before even an anticipated-to-be-short meeting, and to bring my giant water bottle. Fool me once, shame on you, and all.)
 
Morning,

What ticks me off?

Parents who have bratty children who refuse to listen to them and then (the parents) whine to me how there's nothing they can do to make them behave better.

*Then* they look at my 4 kids and ask me, why are they so polite/well-behaved?

It's called being a parent, and not a friend.

Data points,

Barbara
 
iamfire said:
Morning,

What ticks me off?

Parents who have bratty children who refuse to listen to them and then (the parents) whine to me how there's nothing they can do to make them behave better.

*Then* they look at my 4 kids and ask me, why are they so polite/well-behaved?

It's called being a parent, and not a friend.

Data points,

Barbara
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For all non-mommies you'll be bored by this so move along :D.

This is very interesting as my baby is just over the past few months starting to get cognizant of my "orders" at 18 months. I tend to speak nicely but I try to be firm (high pitched voice "please dont do that dear" "no dear, mummy asked you not to do that please" LOL); I only save the mean low-toned shout for dangerous situations "mama said no, you do not do that, that's dangerous", accompanied by a stern look and if she doesn't listen fairly quickly I get up and firmly grasp her arm and move her. OK, now based on that, what am I doing right and wrong. I also want a polite child who listens to me and I have no idea if the way I treat my baby is too lax? I try to be firm but still treat her with respect and not too sternly. H speaks to her very sternly when he's telling her to do something and I dont like it (mean low voice "I said no", no please or anything :cuss:). Please share your expertise Barbara!
 
Parent not a friend

Blancita said:
....This is very interesting as my baby is just over the past few months starting to get cognizant of my "orders" at 18 months. I tend to speak nicely but I try to be firm (high pitched voice "please dont do that dear" "no dear, mummy asked you not to do that please" LOL); I only save the mean low-toned shout for dangerous situations "mama said no, you do not do that, that's dangerous", accompanied by a stern look and if she doesn't listen fairly quickly I get up and firmly grasp her arm and move her. OK, now based on that, what am I doing right and wrong. I also want a polite child who listens to me and I have no idea if the way I treat my baby is too lax? I try to be firm but still treat her with respect and not too sternly. H speaks to her very sternly when he's telling her to do something and I dont like it (mean low voice "I said no", no please or anything :cuss:). Please share your expertise Barbara!
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Hi!

Raising kids is truly a hero's journey. Here's my input.

First off, do not *try* to speak nicely but firmly - DO IT! As Yoda says, do, or do not...there is no try.

Next, remember, kids need boundaries. They are far more comfortable knowing what is acceptable behavior and what is not. I wouldn't say, Mommy asked you..., I would say, Mommy specifically TOLD you NOT to do xyz. Certainly, you can preface your requests with "please" (ie, "please do not use your bright blue paints on Mommy's nice white marble floor"), but it should be delivered as more of a statement of fact, and not a begging request.

Next, spell out consequences. I started that quite early with my kids. ie, "If you use your bright blue paints on Mommy's floor, you will lose your Elmo plushie for 3 hours." And then STICK WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!!!! Your child has to know you are serious and firm. Sure, they might cry. And they might whine. And that almost always translates into, they will learn how to manipulate you...which would be detrimental to their future growth as well. So I empathize with their unhappiness wrt consequences but do nothing to mitigate it.

I always ask myself, how do I want my kids to treat me as they get older and I get more tired? Do I want to fight battles then....or do I want to nip things in the bud today? Almost always, it's "fix it today" (which is extremely tiring and draining and what have you, but hey. It's needed).

In closing, I am 'way stern with my kids when needed...but I'm also hilariously funny with them and keep them laughing all the time as well. They know I am not their friend, I am far and away superior to any friend they could ever have. I Am Mom. I am one of the few constants they'll have in their lives...and the person who will always look out for them to the best of my abilities.

So far (12 years!) it's worked pretty darned well. :)

Hope that helps,

Barbara
 
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