Weight Loss Journal

Hey Dee I just noticed that your ticker still says "running till my legs are sexy" well they already are my dear!! And surrounding myself around people who know I'm trying to quit drinking is not always good. Most of my friends agree and are just like whatever... but my one friend was like "who are you???". He wasn't too impressed, but at the same time he's an alcoholic and is thin because he does too many drugs so I'll choose to ignore him. As long as my friends all don't start treating me differently I don't really care.

With that being said I successfully completed my first day of going out and not drinking. I wasn't really offered any but I didn't feel the need to drink. However.... I did have a little bit of cocaine and about half a cigarette, which is much better than I'd normally do but still not too great. Yesterdays eats were pretty good too. For bfast I had 3/4 of a whole wheat bagel w/ light cream cheese from Tims, snack was a Kashi peanut butter granola bar thingy. Lunch was a 6 inch Ham sub on whole wheat. Other snack was an apple, and dinner was the remaining 6 inches of my sub. After work I went straight to my friends house and was pretty hungry. I just grabbed and apple and ate that.

One thing thats good about the cocaine is that it doesnt shoot my motivation down the next day. I woke up this morning and went for a run. I wanted to add a section to it but I just wasn't feeling the energy. So far this morning I had a yogurt and a blueberry-cranberry bran muffin. I ALMOST weighed in today but resisted the urge to do so. I want to wait to complete a few consecutive days of good so I can see a nice drop. I'm still aiming for 139 next week but even at 140 or 141 I'll be happy.

Something absolutely dreadful happened to me at work yesterday and it almost completely shot my willpower and my focus. Someone rang a debit through for me for $80 and it was not approved. I am not sure what is going to happen at this point but I fear it will have to come out of my tips. I need to go and talk to my manager today. I just feel so down and depressed because of it.

Well today I am helping my mom put the laminate flooring into my new room. I may post some pics of the final product when it's all done. I'm hoping I can find a nice healthy lunch without having to eat a freaking sandwich. So yea... gotta go and do that stuff. Have a good day everyone!
 
Well I keep coming back here to see if anything new and exciting is happening, but its not haha. I'm just bored and I don't really want to do homework just yet. It's thanksgiving weekend so I just kinda want to lounge around.... or go hang out somewhere (theres no where to go and it's too late for that now). Anyways I already notice the difference running everyday is making. Even though I do sometimes slip up. My stomach is not so flabby looking and it's starting to pull itself in. I got into serious snacking mode earlier today. I started out with some ritz mini cheese cracker sandwich things, had about 10 in total today, then I had one...ONE pringle chip. After that I started picking at the remaining apple crisp. Fortunately my mom went in there and snagged half of it, so I just went and snagged the rest. Wasn't much to it. Then I decided it was time for lunch (to keep from snacking). I went to Mr.Greek and had chicken souvlaki with greek salad, rice, and potatoes. I ate all the chicken and the salad, half the portion of potato and probably 1/3 portion of rice. I probably saved myself 200 calories.

After lunch I started craving chocolate. I decided I'd take a nap instead and hoppe that the chocolate craving would go away. It has for the most part. I'm just snacking on a banana right now to try and simulate the sweetness of chocolate. I'm going to have some dinner shortly anyways. I'm dreading going to work today and having to deal with my manager, but it will either happen now or later, so might as well deal with it. I'll let everyone know the verdict when I get the chance.
 
Well thank god the weekend is over. Thanksgiving is the best and worst time of the year. All the freaking food and dessert... AND it's thanksgiving. A weekend devoted to pigging out and giving thanks. How do you avoid that? Well I didnt and not it's over and I couldn't be happier. I am not even going to run down the list of foods I at this weekend. I think I'll save myself the embarassment. So something terrible happened on Sunday night. A girl at work asked if I am preggo. I've had this question asked before when I was really heavy. Just makes me want to get back down to my lowest weight even more. There are two accomplishments I had this weekend though. Can you guess what one of them are?

I didn't drink. Not one sip of alcohol all weekend. I even went out with my friends two nights of the week. I went to the bar one night and had a coffee there, and then I went to a party afterwards and just drank a ginger ale. My friend was all drunk and like "AMANDA I HATE YOU!!! JUST HAVE A DRINK!!!!!!!!!!" I'm like...... nah it's ok. I can wait till my bday.

The other accomplishment is that I ran everyday this weekend. I have run everyday since last Wednesday or Tuesday. I have no intentions on missing a day either. Just have to get back into the good eats and the weight will begin to drop off. Cant wait!!

So I went to Tim's today to get a BLT and the freaking lady gave me a BELT (bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato). I could have done without the damn egg, but oh well. The nutrition calculator said it was 440 cals which is fine I guess. I have a salmon sandwich for lunch and I'm not sure what dinner will be.

I just wrote a mid term for Humanities and I have another one in 2 hours for Concepts of Quality. I haven't started studying so I am going to get to it. Have a good day everyone :)
 
Hey lady great job on passing the drinking! And I wouldn't worry too much about the things you did do. You can't give up ALL your vices at once.

Thanks for the compliment on my leggies... they are getting there. I am hoping that by next summer I can wear shorts with confidence instead of asking Step every 2 mins if I look okay and that I dont look fat. I think since I started my weight loss journey 10 years ago every next summer has been the one that I would wear shorts... but this time I actually think it is!!!

Did you enjoy your weekend off? This week is Fall Break for us... meaning that there are no classes Thurs or Fri... which works for me I hope to get some good study time in, I have a midterm next week. And I am sooo ready for this semester to be over... I am kinda bumed that I don't really like any of my classes no matter how hard I try.. they just suck!!!

Anyway, I think I am rambling! Your b-day is approaching correct?? When is it? And any plans for the big day???
 
adeon said:
I didn't drink. Not one sip of alcohol all weekend. I even went out with my friends two nights of the week. I went to the bar one night and had a coffee there, and then I went to a party afterwards and just drank a ginger ale. My friend was all drunk and like "AMANDA I HATE YOU!!! JUST HAVE A DRINK!!!!!!!!!!" I'm like...... nah it's ok. I can wait till my bday.

The other accomplishment is that I ran everyday this weekend. I have run everyday since last Wednesday or Tuesday. I have no intentions on missing a day either.
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Amanda, both are big accomplishments. Be proud of yourself. :hug2:
 
Hey Trops and Dee thanks for the congrats! It feels really good to know that I am able to have some self control around other people who are drinking. I think I actually just gained this self control last weekend too. If I can have self control with drinking there is not reason why I shouldnt be able to have self control with eating.

Oh and Dee no problem with the compliment. Your definately deserving of it after all the progress you've made. And you know what? I've never been able to wear shorts. My legs are pretty thin, but they get wide right at the top and my legs always chaffe and my shorts ride up my legs, so I just stick to skirts. My weekend was alright. Just like any other weekend though because I worked all of it. I ate wayy more than I should have and saw the reflection of that on the scale yesterday when it said 149.4.

I actually don't get a break in my first semester, only the second semester. How lame is that??! some schools actually get breaks both semester because they "have a high suicide rate". Blah whatever. That definately sucks that you don't like any of your classes. I think my favourite class is biochemistry. I had the midterm for it yesterday and I think it went better than I thought it was going to when I walked in.

I'm assuming you didn;t get my gift yet and it probably got lost in the damn mail. Well I got you a low fat cook book and a card that had the do your ears hang low song but instead it was do your boobs hang low haha. It was entirely for jokes and I thought you'd find it funny, but I guess you'll never receive it now :(
 
And now that I have responded to my fan mail :p I shall continue on with my diary. Well this weekend killed me. I'm sure I've posted since then but it reallly took a toll on my weight, and what was worse is that I extended the bad eats to tuesday. I was doing very well then I decided to make chocolate ship cookies and smoke some weed. That turned into never ending munchies for the rest of the night. The scale yesterday said 149.4 blah. I know it was just high though. I didn't have a chance to run yesterday either because I had to study for my biochem exam and then I had to go to work and I got out of work later than usual for a wednesday night. So I woke up this morning and went out for a run. I honestly think it may have been my last run outside for the year. The cold in my lungs sent my asthma from hardly there to extremely there. I had to stop and walk twice and just struggled to catch my breath the entire time. I'll have to think of some other way to get my workout in. Hopefully they will still accept me at the school gym without my student card.

So eating went much better yesterday. Breakfast was a PB and J on rye and snack was a fruit and nut bar. Lunch was corn beef on rye with low fat swiss, mustard, and a bit of horseradish. I also had a 90 cal snack pack thingy with lunch. I didnt really have a snack but I came home and had dinner. My mom made goulash (maccaroni, tomato, ground beef, and cheese) and had a huge plate waiting for me when I walked in the door. I took a small saucer and put less than half on the plate and just ate that, then had a garden salad when I got to work. I resisted eating again until this morning. The scale today said 146.6 which I am much happier with.

I have come up with a long term plan for my weight loss. Well its 11 weeks long which will be until January 1st. I plan to lose about 2 lbs per week which will take me to 22 lbs and put me at 125 for the new year. I dont have a plan set in stone to get there, but thats the big picture. It is very very do-able so long as I stick to working out and decent eats. This morning I went to a breakfast joint with my mother. I got what they call the Lite breakfast. 2 eggs, toast, and a choice of side. I originally said scrambled with rye and fruit, but switched the fruit to ham for some reason. I probably ate a little more than I should have but I didnt eat wayyyyyy more than I should have which is key. I'm sure the amount I had today will not have any effect on the number I see tomorrow. Lunch will be another corn beef sandwich and dinner will probably be chicken and salad. Well I have homework and shit to do so I shall be going.
 
Well today was a terrible day. Not diet-wise, just stress wise. I've been up since 3 am studying for my analytical chemistry mid term. I studied for about 8 hours or more in total and I think it paid off. I knew I would pass but I wanted to pass with a good mark. So I'm completely exhausted, but I am still thinking of going out maybe. I havent had a chance to sleep or anything because I had to go to work right after. Work was alright. I hurt my hand though and now it's all swollen. I whacked it on something, but I cant remember what.

Eats today have been pretty good. Being as stressed as I was really made me want to eat all day. For breakfast I had Fiber One. Snack was a fruit and nut bar. Lunch was deli chicken sandwich on rye with mustard and fat free mayo. My other snack was an apple and dinner was 3/4 of a whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese. I kept wanting to eat soo many times today but I just kept telling myself that if I want to see the scale go down tomorrow then I need to ignore it. I didn't get the chance to workout today for obvious reasons, but I think I walked around enough at work and my diet was good enough today that the scale will drop tomorrow. I do plan to run tomorrow. I'll have to wait till the middle of the day though when it's warmer. There was frost on my car this morning so you can imagine how cold it is here. Oh and I decided that I am not going to skip weighing myself a single day anymore. This is because when I see the scale number, I tell myself to stay in control if I want that number to be lower the next day. Then I get instant satisfaction when it is.

Well I'm going to probably hit the hay. The exhaustion is really starting to kick in now. night night :)
 
Amanda, I'm with you on the scale thing. I will usually weigh myself each morning. I'll see a direct reflection on how "good" or "bad" I was the previous day. It helps to motivate me to be good.

Hope the weigh in today went as planned.
 
Trops the weigh in today went quite well. I wont post my weigh ins until wednesday. I'll just say that if I continue doing well then I'll be hitting neext weeks goal by next weigh in. That will be almost a week since my last posted weigh in.

So today has gone quite well so far. I wanted to go for a run this morning but it was only 4C outside so I opted out. Fortunately I got some motivation at about 3:30 this afternoon and went out for my run. I ran the crescent I added and wanted to add another one but I got a cramp near the end so just decided not to. I mapped my usual run out and it's 1.93 miles, and then I mapped it with the added crescent and its 2.29 miles. The run took just under 21 minutes. I'd really like to get to 25 minutes and then some. anyways eats today have been pretty good. For breakfast I had Fiber One cereal and for snack I had a 90 cal snack pack thing and an aero chocolate (halloween candy size 40 cals). Lunch was tomato soup with some crackers and a greek salad on the side. After my run I had an apple and I'm going to be eating dinner before work... which means now. I'm going to try to find something healthy. Maybe a frozen dinner in the freezer with some veggies. I havent done any of my homework that I should have had completed by now, so that's going to be my goal for tomorrow. I just needed to really have a break from it all today. I was just too stressed yesterday and it really took a toll on my energy (being up sine 3 contributed.) Well anyways I'm going to get going. Have a good day everyone :)
 
Glad to hear that you like the number for your weigh in today. I really wanted to go running today, but didn't. I'm taking today off from exercise, but hopefully tomorrow will bring some good news.

I would prefer to go running when it's cold out. Not ice on the streets, but real cold. There is just so much oxygen in the air that it invigorates me. Sure it's tough when you start, but after a minute I'm all warmed up and glad to get that blast of cold air.
 
Hey thanks everyone. Trops I really can't run when it's that cold out. My lungs cant take in as much air as I need because they just wont expand. Leading me to be breathless much quicker.

Well today went fairly well. I went to the mall and bought a couple of nice things for myself. It's been a couple weeks since I've done that. I didnt get any school work done again though and I'm thinking of just doing the lab I have tomorrow next week so I can get caught up and study for my advanced instrumentation mid term. I couldn't run again this morning because it was super cold outside. I managed to go out for a run before work though. I added the second crescent to my run too. It took my run to 2.87 miles or 4.63 K. It was extremely hard though. I was sooo wiped by the end of it. Food today was fairly good. Breakfast was a low fat cranberry muffin. Snack was..... ummm.... a granola bar I think. Lunch was a 6 inch ham sub from subway. And dinner was a small slice of pizza with a garden salad. I did have a creme puff thingy from work today. Very small, though not healthy. I ran super long today though so it probably made up for it.

Anyways Im going to meet up with my cousin. It's her birthday today and I'm going to smoke a joint with her. Hopefully I wont give into the evil munchies. Ok well I'mm off. byebye!!!
 
Well yesterday went pretty well in terms of the munchies. My cousin really helped me out though. We smoked a joint and I knew she would eventually offer me all this food. She offered me cookies and ice cream. I said yes to a bit of ice cream just cus it was her bday and I told her why I didn't want the cookie. I told her I didnt want to see the scale go up tomorrow. She used to workout hard and eat right and she's lost and kept off about 75lbs or more. I finally said that maybe I'd have a piece of cookie and she said no because she knew the feeling of wanting the scale to go down and I'd regret eating that cookie. So I just stuck with the ice cream. I'm definitely happy I listened to her this morning. I even came home and avoided munching and just went to bed. Today has been going great as well. I just finished doing my AB bootcamp DVD. I didn't do the whole thing though because I was struggling and because I wanted to jump rope. I went out and did 650 jumps. I could have kept going but I cut the damn rope too short when I got it so it kept catching on my feet and I just got frustrated.

Breakfast today was fiber one. Lunch was a slice of pepperoni pizza leftover from dinner last night and just checked the calorie content. 280 cals per slice so it probably wasn't the best choice but I'm glad I had one slice instead of both. I may also have some salad or a banana or something to bring me to about 400 cals. Not sure what the rest of the day holds though. I got a little bit of homework done but no where near the amount I should have done at this point.
 
Nice job with the jumping, Amanda. 650 is a great start. I've found that if the rope is too long it will get caught up, too. It bounces off the floor and into your feet.

Sounds like you got a good cousin. Friends don't let friends much out high, right?
 
Hey Trops thanks! I think I'm just going to buy a new rope. I could have done much more than that but it was the stupid rope. But at least I did the ab tape before that.

After the pizza I had a small greek salad. For my snack I had a banana... and then went for a few bites of ice cream. and a small tiny bite of apple crisp just to get the taste. I don't think I'm in the binging mentality I think I may just actually be hungry. Dinner is not for another 2 hours though so if I still feel hungry I may have another snack. I decided that I'll probably have swiss chalet for dinner. a 1/4 white with vegetables and a multigrain roll. Either that or a chicken on a kaiser.... that's quite a bit of bread though for dinner time. dunno....
 
The cravings today have been horrifying. I have managed to resist almost all of them. My mom bought chips tonight and I had 2. Then I put the bag away. Dinner was chicken w/ veggies and a multi grain roll. I only got the roll from work the rest I has at home. I had a small aero bar chocolate for dessert because I was craving it. Then when I got to work I just wanted to eat everything and anything.... all night... even to this point. Some things that crossed my mind were fries, another roll, chocolate milkshake, cream puff thingy, and chicken. Instead I just had a green tea and 2 coffee's, trying to control the cravings. I'm now at home and opened the fridge as soon as I got here but just browsed. I'm probably going to go crash now so I dont have to fight the cravings anymore. Hopefully my efforts pay off on the scale tomorrow. Goodnight guys.
 
Well today was another day full of cramming. I had to study for my Advanced Instrumentation mid term and I definitely didnt give myself enough time to study. I focused on all the wrong stuff and then I didn't have enough time to study the rest and guess what?!... the highest mark questions were from the material I didn't have time to study. So I just tried my best. If I got a 60 on that I'll be happy. Better news though. I got my Humanities exam results back and I got 90%. I also found out that I got 98% on my Concepts of Quality mid term, which just so happened to be the highest mark in the class, so I'm really happy about that.

Today was pretty good with the eats too. I am really starting to think that I get hungry when I'm stressed though because I was pretty hungry even after eating all my usual snacks. I didn't eat anything extra though. For breakfast I had some fiber one cereal, and for snack I had an apple and almond granola/fiber bar. Lunch was a chicken sandwich with bbq sauce. The chicken was from half a chicken breast. My other snack was an apple. For dinner I have a small portion of spaghetti with a small piece of garlic bread and tomato and cucumber salad w/ calorie wise balsamic dressing. After dinner I really wanted to have some dessert but decided against it knowing tomorrow is my weigh in.

My mom found some coupons for 1 week free at the goodlife fitness that just opened here so we decided to go. I decided that I was either going to drink tonight (celebration of finishing exams) and not workout, or workout and not drink. I chose the latter. So we went to this gym and it's soo nice. They extended the coupon till october 31 trying to get us to join. I'm hoping the treadmill will be setup in the basement by then. So anyways I went on the treadmill and ran at 5.8mph for 30 minutes. I burned a total of 350 cals which makes up for my not so wise choice of the garlic bread and cheese tonight haha. I think I deserved it since I've been working pretty hard for the past little bit.

Every time I feel my motivation almost slipping I pass by the amazingly thin girl and it gets me right back into focus. I am really going to try to get down to my goal this time. I want to feel great in my clothes and I can't with the figure I have now. I just wish I didn't fall so far off the wagon, I would have been at my goal a long time ago. Oh well.. nothing I can do about it now.

Well I'm going to sleep now. Have a great night folks!
 
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