Weight Loss Journal

Hey Beautiful!

Glad to hear you are not overwhelmed!! And I am jealous that you are getting in sooo much exercise!! Throw some of that my way.

I feel so loved that you are sending me a lil' gift... I can't wait to get it!!

Be strong lady, the weekends are always hard to keep on track... I need to work on it too, so you're not alone!

So did any of your school friends mention how great you look or notice that you busted your butt this summer????
 
Yesterday ended on a pretty good note. Dinner turned out to be chicken and vegetables. They gave me too much chicken and it looked like only dark meat so I only ate about 2/3 of it. Went to work and was walking around like crazy all night. I came home and avoided munching. I had a couple of grapes and I shared a beer with my mom. I woke up this morning and decided that I am not going to weigh myself. I will just wait till monday and stick with my good eating and try to get in some exercise.

Today for breakfast I will probably have a whole wheat english muffin with PB and J and with some yogurt and grapes. Not sure what the rest of the day has in store but you can bet I will be staying on track :)
 
These past couple days have been anything but good. Everything was going fine until Saturday night. I got off work and went to my friends house for a party. Chris, my most recent ex, was there and it was the first time I'd seen him since we broke up. I decided that I needed a drink. I ended up having much more than one drink and got wasted. I went to sleep and woke up to a 270lb guy having sex with me. (he's actually in my photo gallery w/ the blonde hair). He took complete advantage of me and I was mortified. I got up and drove home wayy too drunk. I debated all day Sunday whether I should report him to the police or not, and just decided to do it. I was at the hospital all night on Sunday doing an evidence kit and being interviewed by police. And since the incident, I just haven't really had the motivation to do anything. I've been eating non stop all day and not working out. When I feel full, I still eat. I am going to buy some appetite supressants to help me avoid the binging. I went to school today and just wrote a test and came home. I was supposed to be there till 6 tonight. I just wasn't feeling it. I decided that I'm probably not going to drink again until my birthday (with the exception of today) because I don't want to be placed in a situation like the one I faced on Saturday again. Thats the second time in 6 weeks that someone sexually assulted me. I was doing well with being abstinent too, then this shit happened. I'm just hoping I can get back on track for tomorrow. My stomach looks soo huge today it really is disgusting.
 
Hey,
I just got back and read your entry from earlier. I'm so so sorry for what happened to you. I hope you're ok. But please don't let it ruin all the hard work you've put in. Remember that even if you couldn't control what happened on Saturday, you can control your diet. Good luck with everything.
 
Hey A,

You must be going through a host of emotions right now- weight loss has to be at the bottom of the list for you right now. Just wanted to tell you to be strong, you'll get through this. Good idea to keep away from the booze for a while. Maybe you can start taking walks outside, it hasn't gotten too cold yet- I find walking a good stress reliever. This way you can at least combat the stress as well as any extra calories.

*hugs* take care
 
So I just haven't been feeling myself lately. I feel almost like I've been faking smiles more often than not. Yesterday I told myself that I'm through with the binging. I want to lose not gain. I said that I'd get all my binging out by the end of the day yesterday and today starts a new thing. I have a goal right now of losing 10 lbs in a month. October 24th, or 25th which would be my birthday. I didn't weigh myself today because I know it would have been wayyy tooo high. All day today I've been telling myself that I'm going to lose 10 lbs and it's helped me to stay focused. Biggest slip of the day would be the 1 and 3/4 glasses of beer that my friend had me drink. I skipped on the 100 calorie snack to compensate for some of it. I did cardio kickboxing at school today and I almost died. I seriously was considering leaving for a few minutes, then he started to slow us down a bit. It was a great workout. Tomorrow is step, and so is Friday. I have a couple assignments to do tomorrow and if I don't get them done by the due time then I can't workout. I'm going to miss step on Friday, but I'll try to make it to school early so I can run at least.

Tonight I am hungry. I just got home from work not long ago. I avoided picking at any food today. Came home and there's half a burger in the fridge, and a coffee crisp bar. I just shut the fridge and walked away. I just keep telling myself 10 lbs this month. I'll weigh in tomorrow and have an official count. It works out to 2.5 lbs a week which is definately doable as long as I stick to no alcohol and good eats and as much exercise as possible. Hopefully I can regain some true happiness with my mental and physical self soon. Well I'm done rambling...
 
Hey lady :) Cheer up I have faith in you! You are getting your workouts in and you are being conscientious of what you are eating... just keep at it. I think we all have moments or spans where we just want to be lazy and eat all the time. That's been me the last few weeks, but then you wake up and get with it... which sounds like what you are doing. I know its hard but stay positive and remember you are beautiful no matter what!!! Those 10lbs will come!!

I hope you start feeling like yourself again lady! Miss you!!
 
Well another day ending on a fairly good note. I did the step and strength class today and it was very intense. She did shoulder flies for the weight training component and I accidentally grabbed the 5 lb weights instead of the 4s. I was sooo sore but I pushed through them as best I could. Eats today were very good. I had a bagel w/ light herb and garlic cream cheese for bfast, a packet of weight control oatmeal for snack, PB and J on multigrain for lunch w/ some crispy delight 90 cal pack thingy's. Snack was a 100 cal bag of popcorn. Dinner was spinach and cheese cannelloni and a garden salad w/ italian dressing from chalet.

I came home from work tonight feeling pretty hungry. There was a pizza box with no pizza in it (wouldn't have ate it anyways. I was just looking) There was also leftover spaghetti from dinner. I haven't touched that either. Then my mom came home with some yogurt, granola, and strawberries parfait thingy which her and I are splitting. She ate her half tonight and I will eat mine tomorrow morning. My bro has just shoved dill flavoured rice crisps in my face , which, again, I've rejected. I'm losing these 10 lbs if it's the last thing I do.

Oh I should mention that I weighed in today at 141.0 lbs. Losing 10 would bring me to 131.0 lbs. I'm sure tomorrow the scale will be down quite a bit more than it was today. I won't have time to go to the gym tomorrow because my lab is expected to be very long. I plan to get up before school and run instead.

Anywho... enough rambling.
 
I was down to about 131 at one point at the end of my last trimester. But then break came with eating and drinking and not much exercise. Last I looked at the scale I had gone up to 144. Now I'm taking two weeks to get back on track, and then I'll weigh myself. I'd love to lose 10 pounds as well. We can both do it. Keep it up.
 
Hello, I don't know you, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything you've been goin through, you hang in there, and you can do this. So chin up, and head held high, you can and will push through. Think positive and remember that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!!! So let the loser a** punks do stupid things, it doesn't make you any less beautiful, smart, or caring... it only makes them the bad person!!! :) :seeya:
Natasha
 
Wow that was very sweet coming from someone I don't know. Thanks :)
GonnaGet I know what you mean with the two weeks to get back on track. Except I've decided 4 weeks (a month) would be best and would get me down to my lowest weight and lower. We can both lose 10 definately!!

Well it's just after 7 in the morning and I'm posting. Guess what that means? YUP! I went for a run this morning. It was about 22 minutes in length with about 5 minutes of walking afterwards. The scale this morning said 140.0, so down 1 lb from yesterday. My shoulder on the left side is soooo sore. Good sore :)

I gotta leave for school in a bit but I want to pay off some of my visa and other bills first. I've been putting it off and the money is just sitting in my bank collecting dust.

Today I'll have that parfait thing for breakfast, probabaly a granola bar for snack. Turkey on multigrain for lunch, probably with some other snack. Dinner will probably be another PC blue menu dinner thingy with salad or something. I'm just beyond happy that I got my workout out of the way for today!! Well I'm off.
 
haha, I forget how good it feels to workout first... maybe something to implement next week... I'm getting back on track and also going lower than ever before, whoop whoop, let's do this!!!
 
Yes Anke, we can AND WILL do this!!! I'm determined!!

With that being said, I had a pretty bad saturday, which started Friday night. I went to my friends field party and had 2 beers then excused myself and went to meet my other friends. I wasn't going to drink anymore. Just smoke my joint and thats it. I ended up drinking there.... and I did cocaine.... ugh. I drove home at 6 and was up till 7:30. I ate quite a bit yesterday. I won't run down the list, but it ended with 3 oatmeal cookies at 10:30.

Today I decided to jog to try and get rid of some of the damage I caused before Monday rolls around. I went out for 35 minutes. I ran till I couldn't run anymore. I had Fiber one for breakfast and chicken on a whole wheat kaiser for lunch. Unfortunately, the chicken was dark meat. (I'm saving the breast for dinner). I shared a small blizzard with my mom today, and decided I won't have snack through the day to compensate. Dinner will probably be the breast and mashed potatoes. Maybe some veggies too. I work tonight so hopefully I can walk some calories off.
 
Weight loss these days is just not happenin. Weight gain is. I'm binging uncontrollably all the time. For breakfast yesterday I had corn bran cereal, a grilled cheese, 3 oatmeal cookies, a couple oreo cookies, and a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich on an english muffin. Lunch I had Mc'donalds and chinese food. Dinner was pumpkin pie, ceasar salad, and a quesadilla from work. In between I had more cookies and ice cream and all that. I'm doing terrible lately.

I'm resorting to a diet pill now to help me get back on track. It's called Rev XP. I heard it worked on someone else so I'm going to give it a shot. My mom bought this slim clense pill thingy and we both started today so we'll see whose works better. So far today has not been too good. I've been able to control my appetite but thats about it. I had a blueberry bran muffin for bfast and an hour later I had a chocolate croissant. I don't know why. I'm craving pizza but I'm going to try and just have my frozen dinner for lunch. The pill isnt going to work if I don't keep a decent diet thats for damn sure.

I got a new haircut yesterday and I think it looks great. Its really short!! I feel like a new person, and I wish I had a new body to go along with it. Hopefully soon... ughhhh.

I'll try to get a run in tonight, if I have some time.
 
The binging is only part of the problem. Do you have "good" alternatives to the "bad" foods that you are eating? That might help. I make sure that I have some good high protein high fiber cereal so that when I want ice cream I have that instead.

Pizza is a different story. I haven't found really anything that can divert that hazard.
 
I usually have some decent foods that are better than the bad foods I crave, but once I have even the slightest amount of the bad I think its ok and I just keep eating the bad.

Yesterday I gave into the pizza. I had Canadian (bacon, pepperoni, mushroom). For dinner I had chicken breast w/ veggies and a multi grain roll (courtesy of swiss chalet). I was craving something sweet afterwards and was about to get the ice cream or cookies, but instead I grabbed a yogurt. 40 cals... much better. The scale today read 143.0. A drop of 2.8 lbs from yesterday... probably a result of a couple things (including not binging last night, less salt consumption, and the RevXP). I plan to do some cardio kickboxing today at 12. Breakfast was Fiber one. I'm buying something for my snacks. I really want something sweet. Maybe yogurt w/ granola and fruit. Lunch is a ham sandwich on white unfortunately. Dinner is steak w/ broccoli and basmati rice. I work tonight and I haven't been doing much homework lately so I'm going to try my hardest to catch up on some of that today.
 
Way to resist! I find that staying strong and then finding a nice surprise the next weigh in helps to stay strong the next time. Remember the scale the next time that ice cream is calling.
 
well I've been snacking a bit today. I left school early and have been home all day. I had my sandwich and was still hungry afterwards so I had about 4 crackers with hummus, an oreo cookie, and a waffle (80 cals) with half the amount or less of nutella I'd normally put on it. Then I tried to wait for a couple hours before eating again. I had about 1 tbsp of ice cream and then when 2 o clock came around I had a granola bar and an orange. Since then I've had a couple more bites of ice cream. Things today could have been much much worse and I'm just trying real hard to control at least some of my cravings. I work tonight so I won't be able to snack after my dinner (which I'll be eating soon). I will be walking around quite a bit tonight too and I hope it helps more than it usually does because of the pill I'm taking. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

I have an EEG tomorrow in the morning and will try to get homework done before then. I will hopefully go for a run tomorrow after work and maybe tonight if I'm not too tired. I've been looking at the before and after section of the forum today trying to get my mentality back in the strict eating habits and the WANT to get thin. I think Kgirl is the most inspiring because she is the same height as me (5'5) and she had the same frame as me at 146 and 135. Now she's 129 and looks really great. I just can;t believe how much the last 6 lbs made a difference!!.

Anyways I'm rambling as usual
 
I think it's great that you are kinda allowing your cravings some limited space in your diet in attempt not to binge... it's a difficult thing to control yourself after a few mouthfuls though, so well done for staying strong!
 
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