Weight Loss Journal

Ugh things are not goin well at all. But I think something good may be coming out of it. Got home from work yesterday to chinese food. Of course, I indulged. I didn't like the number on the scale this morning but I went to McD's for breakfast anyways. I got two sausage and egg mcmuffing w/ one hashbrown. I took the egg off one of the mcmuffins after not really liking it too much. I also brought some fries home from work yesterday which now brings me to my.... new thought kinda thingy. Eating the fries and bfast today made me realize how full of grease these things are. I am actually very disgested right now because I feel like my stomach is lined with grease. I almost went to the cafe and bought some cake type of thing just to eliminate some of the grease feeling, but I didn't have the money and so I didn't get something (thank god). Breakfast today was about 1000 calories. I have a frozen dinner for lunch which is 230 cals and I WILL eat something light for dinner to keep myself around 1500 or 1600 cals for the day. I have not been able to workout this week because I have been 1) lazy, 2) overwhelmed with homework 3)unmotivated to workout because of my feeling of overwhelmement thanks to having so much homework, but procrastinating to do my homework because I just don't want to do it. I plan on working out today though and I will be eating healthy for the remainder of the day. My mom took some chicken breast out last night so I will have that for dinner tonight along with some salad or veggies or something. If I workout today and eat well for the rest of the day, then I can eliminate one of those mcmuffins I had this morning and things just wont seem so bad. Anyways, I'm going to try to stay away from greasy foods from now on cus I am finding them to be quite disgusting lately. In addition, I'd like to try and eat food only from home, with the exception of work food (but nothing greasy and gross). I still have the sweet tooth and unfortunately I don't think that's going anywhere any time soon. BUT we are out of sweets at home... except some ice cream. At least I can't indulge in those evil cookies and stuff.

Alright off to class. We are preparing fish extraction today to determine the mercury content in it. Should be smelly and exciting lol.
 
A new website that I've been looking at:



Getting an egg mcmuffin isn't nearly as bad as somethings. Check it out so that when you can't resist you at least can mitigate the damages.
 
Nothing good to report lately. I've been doing just as terribly as I have been for the past month and a bit. I've gained so much weight I know people notice. I went to Kelseys the other day and shoved as much food into my mouth as I could fit. Then, intentionally, I went on the scale. I wanted to see 150 in hopes that it would send me into a shock and a new motivation. And there it was... 150.4. I went on today and it said 146. I know it's because I haven't weight trained and it would actually be higher. Today has gone fairly well. Today is yet another "this is the day" day. I want to start just focusing on working out 5 days. Weight training will be put in the back of my mind for a little bit. I just want to focus on cardio and running and shedding some weight. I wanted to run this morning but I woke up sick. I may try to run or something before the day ends. I tried to call in sick to work today but I'm closing so I have to go in. I feel overwhelmed with school and I think it's kinda contributing to my lack of motivation. I don't fucking know anymore. I'm just coming up with random stupid justifications and excuses and whatever.

Well anyways today I've had fiber one for breakfast. I bought pumpkin pie yesterday when I went apple picking and I had half a piece. I probably wont eat any more of that. Lunch will be something healthy. I'm not at home but I would like to have a healthy turkey sub or something. Dinner will be chicken breast w/ veggies. I want to go back to my original eating habits. Cereal for bfast, whole wheat sandwich for lunch, protein and veggies or salad for dinner. Everyday. So I'm going to set some goals I think. If you haven't noticed I'm thinking as I type.

Goals to get back on track:
1. Cardio 5 days a week.
2. Whole wheat sandwich for lunch everyday
3. Cereal, oatmeal, or bran muffin for bfast everyday.
4. Protein and a veggie for dinner everyday.
5. No snacking (as much as possible) after dinner.
6. DEFINATELY NO second dinner after work.

That just covers eating habits and exercise. I'm going to focus on these for the next couple weeks and hope I can get back into a good mindset.
 
Amanda, 150 is not good. You are bettern then that to gain all that back and then some. This is the day, is a good thing, but don't give up on a day because it didn't work out. Make every moment of every day, this is the moment. There is no starting tomorrow, it's starting right now. Then followed by another moment and so on.

:toetap05:
 
well yesterday was my first decent cal intake I've had in a while. Not saying the eats were the greatest, but I avoided snacking after work and avoided binging all day. For lunch I had BBQ pork and a spring roll on rice vermicelli with fish sauce (vietnamese). It was soo yummm. I didn't really have an actual meal after that. At around 9:30 I had 3 cheese sticks from work. Deep fried but I only had three. I brought home 2 chicken pot pies which I don't intend on touching, and when I came home from work I went straight to bed.

I did not workout yesterday like I had hoped but I did walk around quite a bit at work, so at least I wasn't sitting on my ass all evening. Today is going pretty well so far. Bfast was a blueberry bran muffin w/ some blueberry yogurt. Snack was a chewy brand rocky road granola bar (we have no healthy snacks at home so I thought this might be the best choice... only 110 cals too). Lunch is a chicken sandwich w/ fat free mayo and mustard on multigrain bread. Not sure what my other snack will be. If leftovers are still in the fridge from last night then dinner will be chicken w/ a bit of basmati rice and some veggies (I know I said protein and veggies for dinner, but it's already portioned out and it's not really bad for me so I may as well).

The plan for tonight is to do homework for 2 hours until 9 and then go for a run or a brisk walk. I am fairly sick so I'm not sure if I'll be capable of running. After that I'm going to watch Dexter. The cardio kickboxing class is tomorrow during my 3 hour break, but I think I will work on some much needed homework and, if I have time left after that, I will run on the treadmill.

So here's to a good day and hopefully the start of a great trend.:hurray:
 
Oh just another thing I wanted to mention that I've mentioned in the past, but really want to try to do this time around. Drinking is the root to many of my problems right now. I would like to cut drinking down by 75%, which works out to once a month. I have already cut drinking down by about 90% (drinking once on the weekend instead of both days). By cutting drinking down to once a month I can reduce the following problems I am currently having:

1. Smoking - I only smoke when I drink and the craving are becoming more severe every time I smoke
2. Cocaine - It seems I am doing the shit every weekend. This is costly, and harmful to my body and is just gross.
3. Craving for grease - Hangovers lead to binging and the want for bad food. This sets me up for days of binging, which could easily be avoided by not drinking so much.
4. Weight gain - This is basically tied into the previous problem. I binge, and I don't want to workout. I then gain weight and get to 150.
5. Slutting around - I am feeling very ashamed of myself lately and would really like to be abstinent. Everytime I have a few I suddenly want to have sex, which I regret the next day. Not drinking will eliminate the urges. This includes being in vulnerable situations and sexual assults and what not.

So by cutting back on drinking significantly I can improve on my overall well being and be much happier than I am now. So this practise will take effect immediately.
 
Hey girl, sounds like you need some self-pampering... do the bubble bath thing or take yourself to a movie or shopping...

You're really brave to bare it all out here... I have no doubt that you can overcome this phase of your life.... I've been there. It only gets better once you try.
 
Hey :) sorry you've been feeling so bad recently and struggling. I'm sure you'll be fine again soon, u always seem so motivated :)
 
Well dinner didn't go as well as I would have liked. I did manage to get potential pigging out under control earlier today though. Had an apple for snack, then a rice cake and a small piece of part skim mozza cheese. I then had a couple pieces of chocolate and a 1/4 of a small cake square (I threw the rest out) and then I decided I'd had enough. So I took a much needed nap. Dinner was the chicken with basmati rice and corn. I had three tiny cheese sticks too. There was more basmati rice portioned out than it looked like originally but I ate it anyways. My mom made chicken fingers, and so far I've had 4. But I DO NOT plan to have any more at all. For some reason my sweet tooth kicked in, and so I had probably the equivalent of one slice of pie (1/2 cherry and 1/2 pumpkin) and a bit of ice cream. I feel full though which is something I'm glad to feel. It means that I feel less like binging. AND I still have full intentions on running later tonight. Probably at 9. Depending on how my lungs feel will depend on if it turns out to be a run or a walk and how far I go.

Well I've got a bit of homework to do so I gotta get going. Just thought I'd update.
 
Hey Beautiful. I will say you are brave for bearing it all, but I think it will help you really get past your vices so you can reach your goals. Finding the root of the problem is the first step and now its time to follow through. I have complete faith that you can get through. Just a couple of weeks of consistancy and you will start feeling better and the motivation to stay on track will really kick into high gear.

If you ever need extra motivation or someone to talk to I am here to help!! Even if you just need to ramble about nonsense. :) Just let me know!!

~Dee
 
Today has been going fairly well. Oh and I should add that I didn't eat after that dessert last night. It didn't even cross my mind. I also didn;t workout though unfortunately. I just wasn't feeling it. My nose was all stuffed and crap. I just did homework and got caught up. I have spent my break today doing more homework, and guess what?! I'm almost all caught up!! That means I can start to focus on my workouts very soon... maybe even tonight or tomorrow :D

I went on the scale today and saw 144.0 A nice drop from the 150.4 I saw on the weekend, though I know it wasn't really that high. I have actually set a goal for myself for next week. Since I'm at 144 today and I am taking that weight loss pill thingy, I'm going to aim for 139 next week. 139.X... I really don't care what the other number is. So thats my goal and I'm hoping that I can get there. I'm going to really try hard.

Today has been going well. I had fiber one and corn bran for breakfast (the equivalent of what I'd normally eat of the fiber one.) Snack was a kashi peanut butter bar. They are actually pretty good AND 7 g of protein. Can't go wrong. Lunch was deli chicken breast on multigrain with fat free mayo and mustard. Snack will be 100 cal bag of smart pop popcorn and dinner will probably be salad and chicken soup from work. I have full intentions on getting a french vanilla right now just because I feel like to :)

Oh ya. I told my friend from school today that I'm quitting drinking and he said he is too (I know he won't be able to stick to it). Now I wont have to worry about him pressuring me to have a drink for the next little bit. I think were going to be water/coffee buddies instead of drinking buddies lol.

Anywho I'm off to Biochem.
 
Oh ya. I told my friend from school today that I'm quitting drinking and he said he is too (I know he won't be able to stick to it).

He's probably saying the same about you. You show him who has the will power! :smash:
 
Oh you can bet I'll be showing him how serious I am Trops.

I was planning on having dinner at work yesterday. Soup and garden salad. But my clothes werent dry and so I had to find a decent alternative. I was going to have a frozen dinner then my mom said western and got it into my head. So I had a toaster western sandwich made as healthy as I could. 1 egg and 1 egg white (instead of two eggs), 1 slice of bacon (instead of two or more), and i didnt add butter to the pan. I just cooked the egg in the bacon grease. Didn't butter my toast either (which was multigrain). So overall I think it was better than it could have been. Things I shouldn't have ate yesterday were that coffee crisp flavour cappachino thingy and two small eclair puff ball pastries.

Oh and I did it. I went for a run last night. I wasnt very long. 13 minutes. But I ran fast. I just mapped my run and it said I did 1.42 miles or 2.3 K in 13 minutes. I worked out the pace and it was 6.6 mph. So even though it was short it was intense. I just felt I had to push myself because of how I've let myself go. My mom just got back from dropping my sister off at school and so we are going to run now too. Meals today will be good lol... dont know what they will be but I'm sure they wont very much from yesterday.
 
It's great that you are making the right food choices. If it was me, though, I would have skipped the puff pastries and then you could have had butter and extra bacon and eggs for the same end (possibly better). Getting those prepared treats sneak in all kinds of extras that you really don't want.
 
It's hard to pass up on them when they are staring at you for 5 hours though lol. trust me... I wanted way more than 2 but I forced myself not to. AND I had no intention on eating those in the first place. They are a new dessert we just got in yesterday. They will be a serious problem for me thats for sure. I'm gonna have to kick my willpower into high gear.
 
Ok so it;s friday. the first day of the weekend. This will be the first challenge I've really actually had since my decision to quit drinking. Actually.... yesterday I was craving a drink all day. I just shut it out all day. But I never thought I'd actually crave a drink. Maybe I'm more of an alcoholic than I think (seriously.)

Yesterday could have been better, but it was aalright. I had one slice of pizza and an apple for lunch (as opposed to 2 or 3 slices). then about an hour later I got into snacking mode. I had a couple crackers with light salmon cream cheese and considered this my snack. Then I had 4 slices of salami and just though "OK thats not soooooo bad. Salami is not too bad once in a while". THEN I had 1/3 of a pop tart. I still wanted to snack and dinner was about 2 hours away so I said screw it and had my greek salad. Dinner was sheppards pie and I think I had a little more than I would have liked. My piece was smaller than everyone elses though. Then my sister and my mom wanted to make apple crisp........so they did.... and I had some.... more than I should have..... with vanilla ice cream.....more than I should have.

So I just went to bed to avoid anymore mistakes. I woke up super early this morning and went for a run. I didnt weigh myself because I didnt want to be let down and feel depressed. I don't want to weight in until next wednesday. I am also seriously considering running everyday. Just focusing on running. 6 or 7 days a week every morning. I think if I can get into a good habit of running everyday then the days where I have slip ups wont be so damaging. almost like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Hey as long as I move forward right? If at the end of the week I'm down 1.5 lbs instead of 3 I'll still be happy. I'm not allowing myself these slip ups but they seem to just happen more often than not. Like 1 out of every 10 times I think of snacking I asctually do. And it only happens some days. Meh whatever. Today will be a good day :)
 
Getting a run in first thing in the morning is a good motivator. I have a real hard time getting to it myself, but it really sets up the day for good things. In my mind I'm always thinking that I don't want to ruin all that hard work by eating this or snacking on that, but you are right that it's better to have those "exercise calories" in the bank for when you do slip up.

The alcohol thing is not easy. I'm with you on that. I do find that it's easier to have no alcohol then just a little. Not like I'm getting wasted all the time, but one drink so easily turns into many more. You can't have two if you don't have one, right?:hat:
 
I agree that the running in the morning will be great way to start your day. And running does amazing things!! Just look at my legs!!

Great job on blocking out the craving... it can be hard, but you're doing great. Try to surround yourself with positive things this weekend and people who know about your goal to stop drinking. I really think that will help!!

Heres to a happy Friday lady!! :)
 
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