VonArtiste's Diary

First post for a new journey.

I am back again to reinstate my weight loss challenge!

I decided to come back to this website because I have been trying again to live a healthier life. I remembered all the support this website had given me, and it was really helpful. Hopefully I will once again gain that same support!

I guess I'll start with my current situation:

At the present, I weigh 197lbs. My target goal is: 150lbs. I want to use this diary to track my eating habits, my exercising, and my emotions. I have a couple people in my life who want to help me succeed. Namely, my boyfriend, who is very willing to help me eat healthier, go to the gym with me, and motivate me!

I want to start with going to the gym probably three times a week, and walking our dog four times a week.

Last time this diary really helped me to see what I was really eating everyday, and how I could improve upon it.

I hope to go back to reading diaries, and entering contests! But for now, I'll post what I had so far today.


Breakfast:

1 egg
1/2 cup sausage crumble
1/2 hash brown
1 Tortilla shell


Haven't had lunch yet. I'll come back and post that later. Another goal of mine is to start drinking more water, and implementing more snacks.


Okay, just want to add I didn't have lunch, but for dinner I had:

Chicken wrap
-1/2 cup chicken, slice of cheese, onions, and three pieces of bacon
Tomato Soup
 
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My Reasons

Okay, I decided to go ahead and explain why I want to lost weight. Not only for those reading, but for myself, so I can look back on it!

My medium sized goal right now is to lose 10lbs for a Christmas party I have to attend. Last year I vowed to lose all the weight I wanted to lose before the next Christmas party, but I didn't do it. I'm not going to let that discourage me though! I'm starting today!

There are a lot of different reasons I want to lose weight.

Of course my health, and what not... But it's also to feel better about myself, and see how much my body can really do.

(I'll continue this post a bit later...)
 
Day two

Okay, it's now day two.

I've told my boyfriend about the weight loss diary, and he wholly supports it! (YAY!)

For breakfast we went out to eat, I kinda ate too much...

Breakfast:

two egg omelet w/broccoli, and cheese
two cups of coffee
three pieces of toast
a lot of home fries...

I know I ate A LOT. Mostly because it was my first meal, and I thought I was really that hungry. I need to go back to eating correct portions. What I should have done was separate the food as soon as I got it. That way I would have saved some for later as well.

I plan on talking to my boyfriend about going out to eat. I know I can pick healthy options, but right now I give in to temptation really easily (something I hope to control...) and should probably stay away from them.

I'm going to take my dog for a walk in a little bit, and then go to the gym later. Haven't been there in awhile, so it should be fun. Maybe my boyfriend and I will take him to the dog park and pack a little picnic... That'll be fun!

I really want to make some healthy meals for us, so I'm going to look some up. I will post later about tonight. Oh! By the way, I'm shooting for lots of water, so I just drank my second glass of water today.

Okay, I had about three almost four glasses of water.

For dinner I had:

Chicken w/white rice

It was pretty yummers! Didn't get to go the gym tonight, I will try to go tomorrow. Although, I did take my dog for a walk for about 30 minutes. Yay!
 
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Day 3

Day 3

Okay, it's now day three ^^.

Just wanted to post what I had for breakfast.

Breakfast:

1/4 cup egg beaters- (30 cal)
Shredded cheese- (30 cal) + (20 cal) for butter & jam
1 piece of toast- (40 cal)
1 cup of coffee
-1/2 cup of milk () 2 teaspoons of sugar

I'm surprised that I was actually full after eating that. So breakfast for today comes to a total of: 240cal.

I have an idea to see how many steps I can do on a treadmill for 30 minutes, and make that my goal for the week.

Lunch: Salad

tuna fish- 57 cal
1 egg- 70 cal
salad mix
sprinkled cheese
3 tbs of dressing - 90 cal
onions- 10 cal

Dinner Tuna Melt

cheese- 60 cal
1/4 cup tuna- 57 cal
2 slices of bread- 80 cal
onions- 10 cal
2 slices of tomato- 8 cal
mayo-
dressing- 20 cal

1/2 glass of OJ-

3 cookies- 180 cal

Exercise:

Walked 4,541 steps, 2.2 MI to the grocery store and back. Also did some strength training tonight at the gym.

Twist crunches- 2 sets of 12
Sit ups- 35
Back extensions- 2 sets of 12
Lift pull ups- 2 sets of 12
Rowing machine- 2 sets of 12 (25lbs each arm)
Arm extender machine- 2 sets of 12 (20 lbs each arm)
Straight Arm Lat Pulldown- 2 sets of 12 (37 lbs)
Reverse Crunches- 12
Lay down pull up machine- 2 sets of 12
Bench press- 10


Worked out for about an hour, including warming up, and cool down.

All in all, I'm very happy with today! Got a lot of exercise in, and I'm thinking about just walking to the store anytime I need something. My boyfriend helped keep me motivated at the gym, which I'm happy about too. I feel a lot better since I worked out tonight, and I plan to keep this up!

Today's calorie count appox. is: 882... I know that's low, but I did feel full today. Hmm... I know I didn't add some things in there like the OJ, I might have miscalculated, perhaps I need to add more snacks?

Oh well, I will write more tomorrow!
 
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Day 4

Day 4 (11/06)

Feeling good so far~! Just want to write a bit about what I did, and what I ate today.

Breakfast:

Egg- 70 cal
Bread- 40 cal
Tea

Lunch: Salad

Greens- 30 cal
Dressing- 80 cal
Tomatoes- 15 cal
Onions- 15 cal
Cheese- 49
Chicken breasts- 78

Dinner: Applebees Steak and Portobellos

-330 cal
A1- 15 cal
Tea- 120

After gym snack:

Egg- 70
Muffin- 100

My boyfriend and I went out to dinner, and I was really tempted to go over to Sonny's, but then I looked at the nutritional menu, and it was a lot of calories! I compared it to Applebees menu, and found theirs to be a lot better! So I went with them. The portions were just right, and it tasted pretty good.

Afterwards I went to the gym by myself because my boyfriend didn't feel like going. It was some nice alone time, and I really pushed myself. I did 77 calories in about 11 mins on the treadmill, but then I switched to the elliptical and ended up doing 485 calories, including the cool down!

I was really glad I could push myself that hard. I even ended up burning off the whole meal at Applebees!
 
11/07 -- Day 5

I didn't have any exercise scheduled for today or anything. I just want to say that I am posting my calories and exercise on a new website now. It's called 'Sparkpeople' it's very helpful!

11/08-- Day 6

Okay so it's day 6! My mom made lasagna and it's really tempting to eat the whole thing! I love lasagna so much... it's definitely my weak food! But, I've been pretty good so far, only eating it one time in a day. I was curious about what I used to eat at Wendys, I mean how much the calories would be, so I looked it up. It was ridiculous! I would have gone over my allotted calories for a whole day from just one meal! I realized for the price, I could make something better for me, and a lot tastier too!

I hope that whenever I get the urge to go there, I remember what I saw on the calorie chart. Although I can always try to substitute foods for other high calorie foods as well. Which is another thing I was looking at the menu for. That way if I ever need to go get fastfood or something, I'll know the more healthier options for myself.

I'm doing pretty good staying on track, and so far it's not that hard. The website helps me set my goals, so I can see what cardio or weight training I need to do for the week, how many calories I can eat, and how many other nutrients I'm getting in.

I'm thinking about getting a work-out DVD, like from Jillian Michaels or something... That way everytime I need to do cardio, it's not just the same old things! I could also play DDR, which I haven't done in awhile. I know I've burned like 300 calories from playing that one time.

I'm really glad that Kyle is helping me and supporting me, but I feel like it's also something I need to do on my own. I was really proud of myself when the other night Kyle didn't want to go to the gym, but I went by myself anyways. It made me really happy! I just need to keep the focus up at the gym.

Just take everything one step at a time...
 
I am going to try this diary again. It really did help me in the past, and I want to try again. Recently I went on vacation, and I realized something. My weight really does control my life. Even though I packed clothes that I thought I looked okay in, as soon as my boyfriend took a picture of me, all I could focus on was how horrible I looked. Instead of having the most fun I could have, I looked at all the girls who walked by me. I was so jealous of what they were wearing, or had the confidence to wear. I was so jealous they could wear those cute shirts, and looked so cute. Even though I try other things like fixing my hair, or putting on my makeup other ways, I always feel like I look horrible.

I know my boyfriend feels bad about it even though I always tell him it's not his fault. He's so wonderful to me, he always tries to encourage me, and tell me how beautiful I look, but I always push him away. It's hard to admit this, but we haven't been intimate for awhile, and I know why. Everytime I look into the mirror, I'm disgusted at what I see. I think about what he sees, and how it's so ugly... I just keep falling deeper and deeper into this hole, and I feel like I can't escape.

I just want to be my real self. I know if I lost weight, I would be so much happier. I just want the chance to feel what all the other girls feel, I want to feel truly beautiful and happy. There are so many things I want to do with my life, and I feel like each day is just passing me by. I want my boyfriend and I to have our own apartment, I want to have fun again, I want to feel free, I want to have a goal and passion again. I want to be my true self.

Yes, I've thought about all these things before, again and again for a couple years now, but the other night I truly realized it. It was like all my excuses were taken away, they were proven wrong, I had nothing left. So now, I'm starting again.
 
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Day One---04/24/10

I'm going to start with what I'm doing, and what I plan to do.



Right now I currently am a member of a gym, but I never go. Sometimes I'll go for a couple days or about two weeks regularly, but then something happens and I'm thrown off schedule. Part of the reason is the hours of the gym, I used to go to a 24 hour gym, but it wasn't very good. So I thought if I switched to a gym with regular hours it would force me to go, and I could go with my boyfriend's mom. But it turned out that afterawhile I stopped. School and work started to take up more of my time, and I couldn't go to the gym. It closed too early, and it wasn't open long enough on Sundays. I'm thinking of joining another 24 hour gym because I think it would be more convenient with my schedule. Right now I'm not exercising. I would really like to mix the gym with walking my dog, and doing some at home exercises.

In the past I've eaten a lot of fastfood. Especially if dinner isn't made, or I didn't pack anything for lunch. But I've eaten enough now to realize that fastfood really doesn't taste good, and it costs too much money. Even eating out at restaurants seem to be the same way. Eating out is like entertainment for me, but the fun is starting to wear off. It's more convenient than anything now. I do consider myself to be an emotional eater. Whenever I'm bored or upset I like to eat. I need to find something to replace that habit. I don't really eat a lot of fruits, I love fruit I just don't buy it very often.

I would say that my biggest problems are motivation and impatience. It seems like everytime I exercise and eat right for about 2-3 weeks I don't see any difference in the scale. I just go between 179-181, back and forth. During those times I did count calories and measure, but I'll admit I wasn't extremely rigorous. My lowest weight was 171 I believe, that was last year. Right now I'm currently 185. I would really like to get down to somewhere around 150. When I was 171 I felt great about myself, I could even fit into a pair of skinny jeans! Granted they were size 16, I still felt good. My plan is to start out slow, which is very difficult for me. I like to start things with full force, but I know it'll only backfire on me when I get disappointed.


Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

Egg and ham sandwich
2 eggs
3 slices of ham
Velveeta cheese
1 bagel
Maple syrup

Lunch:
Chicken tenders (2)
Fries
BBQ sauce

Dinner:
Meatloaf
Brown rice
Green beans
 
Day Three--04/26/10

Today my boyfriend and I decided to check out more gyms in our area. We really want to get back into a 24 hour gym, and we think we've found one! Even though the gym is a bit small, it's a low price per month, it's right down the street, and it's nice looking. I think we've decided on it, but I don't want to rush into anything...

Today we also went to the mall, I tried not to spend too much money, (another goal I'm working on) I didn't do too bad. Although we did get something to eat at the mall, so that wasn't too healthy. Besides the mall we went to the arcade which we haven't done in awhile, but I found it to be really fun! I played DDR which I also haven't done in awhile, and really want to start getting back into playing it. It was nice to actually have fun for a change.

Breakfast:
Two sausage patties
Two eggs
Toast (wheat)
Coffee

Lunch:
Steak and BBQ regular sub
Fries
Fruit punch

Dinner:
N/A

Snack/Other:
Mocha cappuccino shake

Not the healthiest choices today, but I did make some good ones! Like I decided not to go to CiCi's pizza because I would definitely overeat there. First I am going to try and work on the food choices, and then I'll work on the exercise.
 
Yesteday's Meals:

Breakfast:
Bacon
Eggs
Toast

Lunch:
NA?

Dinner:
Chicken
Corn

Other:
3 or 4 brownies with icecream
Mocha cappuccino

Yesterday was fun, I played DDR with my boyfriend, and we took our dog to the vet to try and help him with his scratching. We went down to our school to see what was wrong with our financial aid only to find out that neither of us will be covered this term, and have to pay out of pocket. Needless to say we were both pretty upset, and decided to get something from Dunkin' Donuts. Hence the mocha cappuccino.

I made brownies after we played DDR for a little bit, which probably wasn't the best idea, since I licked up all the leftover batter, and then had like 3 or 4 brownies, the last ones with chocolate icecream. I felt like such a pig. Playing DDR was fun but frustrating, I couldn't seem to get the beat, and kept stepping on the arrows too soon. I kept wanting to try it until I had it right, and my boyfriend asked me, "Why are you so hard on yourself?" I'm not sure. It's just always been that way...


Todays Meals:

Breakfast:
Coffee
Two sasuage patties
Two eggs

Lunch:
Two small pieces of chicken
Mashed potatoes
Corn

Dinner:
 
Hello,

Saw your diary in the new posts and stopped by. I see that your diary dates way back from 2006, so you've been to the site a few times. I think maybe you should make a new one, to account for a new and better journey to a new you. It would probably attract more posters because when I saw it, I just thought it was an old diary that maybe someone came and posted in, but I continued to read anyway. I read the first page with the 2006's then went to the second to last page and saw 2008 and then the last, and that's how I figured that you were current. I'm pretty new here, but I noticed most of the time, people make new current diaries.

I am glad to see that you are back and on your way though. You already know you can do it, coming down to under 200 and being able to reach 171. Don't get discouraged this time. we are all here to support each other.
 
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