crystaleyes
New member
not even going to go into the past two days because they were bad...bad...bad. now it's just the matter of starting again and getting through the day. i really hate those emotional triggers that turn me into that freaked out basket case who can't get into the drive thru fast enough..going shopping for my exercise bike this weekend. so yay...that's a plus...i don't really want to go to work
yep, i slipped on the icy path of holidays and rode it all the way down the sugar cookie slope to hey, lets put those pounds back on holler....i blew it big time..which is okay....believe it or not. this was a good fall...because i actually learned something about myself. well, alot....i was wanting to lose weight for all of the wrong reasons and with all of the wrong notions....sure i can lie and say, i'm doing it for world peace and to live longer and blah blah blah....but the truth is...theres only one reason and i never had that reason on my mind....so...fresh start and the reason i want to lose this weight...is solely for me....because i want to be the best version of me that i can be....corny i know....but i've spent years being miserable...and fat because it was easier than confronting the reasons for my unhappiness and my weight...i go back to the doctor in Feb....so we'll see how the thyroid is acting....and, instead of faking happy....which i'm so good at...i'm going to be happy and put all that baggage and bs behind me. i know that every pound on my body is a pound of my past that i'm carrying with me...because i am the center of my universe and if something went wrong it was my fault...food never let me down, it never disappointed me, so when something went wrong or someone failed to make me happy...i ate. well, things go wrong....people can and will disappoint you and its not my fault....it happens and the food that has always been there for me....has turned to fat which is killing me.