It's 12:30am, I'm wide awake, my sleeping is changing on me again and I'm itching and I mean ITCHING to wanna run.
Now I have two options, treadmill (which running on it annoys me, I can't get the hang of my stride and speed vs the speed of the treadmill.) or go outside.
Here are my excuses: It's like 30degrees out there. And the treadmill is right below my brothers room and he bitches about it (which is why I use it when he's at work)
So, I guess, I'll lay here and let the itch pass....I think I was born to run, like its ingraved in my head. I dream about it, literally, I'm ALWAYS thinking about it, and I constantly have the itch for it. The inner me is just sitting there all day long yelling at me "get off ur ass and lose weight so I can run free for longer then a few moments", that voice needs to go eat some cake. hmph.
Unfortunally I lack the energy. It's not the motivation, it's the energy. Between barely sleeping and female issues weeks long, you lose a TON of energy, you'd be surprised. Now, I'm not blaming that, part of it is me going "I'll start tomorrow..." and I needa just DO it.
I think I'll make that my new goal...it's my
winter goal, I'll prep myself for running this winter on the treadmill and then come warmer weather, I'll hit the roads. There, remind me to stick to that, or at least lend a kick in the ass....
I wish I could walk on the roads out here, I mean I
can I just don't want to, it's deer season and all the deer are rutting, damn horny bastards....and there are SO many farmers and hunters out here who hunt their own land/friend's land and I live where it's just spacious enough to hunt, and I rather get over it and use the treadmill then get shot.
Gah, I'm full of "excuses", even if they are somewhat vailed.
Alright, starting
Monday the 17th I'm going to start using the treadmill five days a week. I've said this before, but yanno what, at some point it's gotta stick, right? I'm going to take Friday, Sat, and Sun to hammer out a plan that I'll stick to and then, I'm just gonna do it.
Enough excuses. Enough

. I'm done with it all, I'm just gonna do instead of think.
I guess what's tough for me, is being lazy ALL the time, that I just cant force myself to get up and do something and I'm that way about everything, I don't think I've ever given exercise a chance to the point of forming a habit, yanno? I needa give it a chance.