Tri's Journal

I just failed my Java certification exam again! :(

My score was 55%. I needed at least 65%. I really hoped that I could pass, so that I could move on. I worked really hard on it. My boss let's me repeat the exam until I succeed, and I am very thankful for that, but I am still feel very bad about it. This time I won't just work hard, I will do an insane amount of work in order to really pass the next time.
 
Ok, I still feel like crying, and I never have that. But I have been thinking about it, and I am not going to let this get me down. I will learn from this, and accept responsibility where I can. I know I did my best I could; I have gotten my life under control in the last 5 months and my personal growth seems to be accelerating now. However, I was still lacking in some things. I should have spent more time on this exam and less on side projects. That is a lesson that I can draw from this. I will have to figure out how I can start spending more time on my exam, on on my most important tasks in general, instead of getting side-tracked all the time by things that are kind of important, or interesting, but that are not essential to my job at this moment. I will not play the victim card here, I accept full responsibility for this. I can do this better next time.

I will start working on learning for the re-exam tomorrow. From now on, I will spend at least 2-hours per day on it. I will demand consistency, but I will also make sure that I develop a routine that is as enjoyable as possible, otherwise I know that it's not going to last. Ideas are welcome!

Feeling a bit better now already... at least now there is hope mixed in with my sadness. Ok that sounds a bit overdramic, but I hardly ever get so emotional so I guess let's just roll with it.
 
Hi Tri,

Don't let this get you down. I have written a lot of these type of exams. Some I passed and some I didn't. The thing about these exams is there is a LOT of info to try to learn. Ever wonder why they offer people the opportunity to write the exam until you pass??

The thing is to focus on one thing. If your goal is to pass the exam then concentrate your time and energy on doing just that. The thing to remember is you have written the exam once so you know what to expect. That takes some of the first time writing stress off.

You are going to do this. You have come so far in the last 5 months and you will go much farther 5 months from now!!
 
That´s a shame about the exam, and it´s more of a shame that you´ll have to continue to spend time on it for the near future, but on the other hand: if you´d passed with 65% there´d still be quite a bit of useful info that would not have made its way into your brain. This way by the time of your re-exam you´ll have a thorough grasp of the material, which will (I assume) be very useful for your professional future.
 
It seems like you have a good attitude about this and know you can do better for next time. Keep at it we all have mistakes and failings its how you deal with them that's important
 
Day 151: I just weighed myself and I was 89.5 kg (197 pounds). Apparently I underestimated the effect of my new habits (no alcohol, no soda, rarely chips, rarely fast food etc), they are enough already to keep me losing weight.

Some calculations:
- from day 1 to day 121 (the start of this thread), I lost 4.7 kg, which is about 250 grams per week.
- 30 days ago, I was 93.4 kg, which was a record low at the time (as reported in the first post of this thread). So, I lost 3.9 kg since then, which means 130 grams per day, which translates to 910 grams per week. So, I have accelerated my weight loss by more than a factor 3.5 (and I wasn't even aware of it).
- over the last 151 days (almost 5 months), I lost 8.5 kg (56 grams per day, 400 grams per week).

Anyways, while you can see that I like to do the calculations, I will stop focusing on the stats now, as these are merely an outcome of the healthy habits that I am building, which has my main focus.

Thanks for you kind words Cowboy, LaMaria and Katy, and for your great advice! I will follow it! Focus on one thing at the time! I will go to the starbucks in half an hour, get a good cup of coffee and do my first 2+ hours of studying. By the way, I use the Pomodoro technique, to ensure that I am focussed and productive. I have been using it for years already, but about 6 weeks ago I started using it very intensively. Has anyone heard of it?
 
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From now on, I will be a bit more strict with chips again. For a while, I allowed myself to consume it again, which would be fine if it would happen just once or twice per month, but I notice that I am eating it once or twice per week now, which is too much. So, going to cut it out again completely.

Also, I have not exercised in the last weeks. Going to start doing that again. Will run today. I want to train for triathlons again. This time I will start all sports at once, so every week I will run, cycle and swim (previously, I started doing one sport, and then added another). I will take it veeery slowly, so that I allow myself time to learn to be consistent in my training schedule. I also have the idea of doing ice skating this winter, and canoeing starting this spring. And I would like to do some strength training. But I will start with running/cycling/swimming.

@Katy / Butterfly88 - the Pomodoro technique is something that helps you focus; basically, what you have to do is to set a specific goal, than work on it for 25 minutes without any interruptions, and then a 5 minute break. It is meant to be very strict, so if you allow an interruption, you have to start over, and also you are not supposed to keep on working longer than 25 minutes. The 5 minutes are there to help you recover, so that you are more focused in the next 25 minutes.
This really helps me be productive. I apply it to my work whenever I can (of course not during meetings, but for example when I have to do work at my computer). I also use it to keep my home organized, for chores in my free time, for volunteer work, etc.
 
Getting back into exercise again will help you cope better with everything, including study. You are doing really well Tri with your healthy "diet" and are going from strength to strength.
 
@cate - Thanks, your commented really inspired me in the last days! You are totally right, exercise is good for everything. It was especially important for me in my last year at university (1.25 - 2.25 year ago). It helped me study, deal with stress, develop focus, willpower and discipline and (of course) become more fit and energized. It's exactly what I need in my life now!

I just came back from my second run of the week. I set a reminder on my Wunderlist app (which has become my productivity HQ) that reminds me to run once every two days. My goal is to run at least 6 kilometers per session, but I am free to run more (I want to set the bar low, on the short term I prefer to build consistency rather than distance). The other day I will do something else; cycling or swimming (preferably twice per week for both of them); my minimum for a cycling session is 15 kilometers and for a swimming sessions it's 1.5 kilometer. Again, I set relatively low goals in terms of distance, so that I can work on building consistency.

Consistency means:
1) doing the exercise I planned for that day (level 1)
This is the minimum that I strive for; it means that I have the freedom to choose what time of the day I want to do my exercise (on that day).
2) doing exercise when I planned to do it (level 2)
This is a bit more strict; it means that I set a time to do exercise, for example "after work" (5 pm).
3) streamline exercising, and not procrastinating exercise, but just going for it (level 3)
This is even more strict, but very important; it means that I don't procrastinate on going exercising (it sometimes takes hours before I go exercising), but that I just grab my stuff at the set time, and go for it, and that I don't hang around too long. It means that I make my exercising an efficient habit.

To finish my post, here's some good news... my holidays have started! I am going on vacation to Tenerife! Tomorrow I will take the plane. I look forward to exploring the island! I will read a lot, practice my Spanish with the locals, exercise waaay to much and just have a good time! :)
 
I hope you have a wonderful time Tri. You deserve a break from the stress. Enjoy! :)
 
I just returned to the Netherlands, back from my vacation.

It was awesome! We did a lot of rock climbing, walking, kayaking and swimming, and I went running, we drove around the mountain, I just did my first dive (to -9.3 meters), we looked through a professional telescope (we saw a binary star system, Andromeda, Uranus, Mars, the Pleiades and more) and much more. I spoke my first Spanish (I have spent a few hundred hours learning Spanish, but this is the first time I could speak it) and I drove a lot around the island (I don't have a car, so it was good (and fun) to get some extra experience). It was the perfect holiday!

Doing all these things in this strange environment was very good for my confidence, because a lot of these things were new and I had to trust myself to do well, and I got a lot of new insights to improve my live further when I am back. One of the biggest changes that I will make is that I will do more fun/fulfilling things more often. For example, I plan to start swimming (I mean continue swimming, these last 1.5 weeks I have had a lot of practice already), I want to do a ice skating course (because being dutch and being a bad ice skater is not ok :p), join a Spanish course, meet more often with friends, etc.

Of course, you also need to cut some time from other experiences to make time for new activities. I think I can spend much less time on the internet. 0.5 - 1.5 hours per day should be enough. If you have any tips on how to cut this, let me know (other than "just do it", which is the approach I will try first ;)). This should leave plenty of time for the new activities.

By the way, I also turned 30 during this holiday (which is another reason that I am doing all this reflecting :p). It feels good being thirty. My twenties weren't the best time of my life, but I feel like I have made a lot of progress and I feel like my life is on track now, I really want to build a good life and I will continue working on that now. I think my life will improve quickly during this year. I expect huge improvements in every area of my life. I feel like I just started, and that there is a lot of potential growth ahead, and I don't feel there is anything holding me back.

Now, on-topic: my weight (which is part of one of the areas where I expect large improvements: my physical health/strength/energy). I have not idea what it is. I did not weigh myself for the last 12 days. I ate more than normally in the first half of my holiday (which was no problem, I chose to take a short break), but I ate normally on the second half of the holiday, but I also exercised a lot more than normally. If I look to my body, I estimate that I lost some weight. I think that I am around 90-91 kg. It will be interesting to see what it really is. If it is lower than 89.5 or higher than 91.5 I would be really surprised.

The plans that I wrote above will also help me lose weight. Spending less time on the internet and more time doing other activities already helps me burn more. And I mentioned that I will use some of that time to go swimming. I also want to start cooking again (this week already). These changes will help me to start cooking again.

Like I mentioned many times, I put most of my focus on making these lifestyle changes, not (just) on achieving certain outcome. That will come naturally when I make the right changes. That said, I do want to set some kind of goal, I feel that it motivates me. That goal will be to be below 84 kg before the end of 2016. That means that I will have to lose about 0.5 kg per week, which is less than what I managed in the weeks before my holiday (since I last weighed myself), so it should be realistic. Having stated my goal, let me emphasize that this is a secondary goal, the primary goal is to change my lifestyle. I say this (not just to you, but also to myself), because I know that it's possible to lose weight by living very unhealthily, and I know that that's worthless, because you will ruin your health and you will gain weight again.

Living a healthy lifestyle will help me reach my weight goals, and not just that, it also helps prevent diseases, boost energy, reduce stress... the list goes on. So that is what I will do.

So, even though the vacation was great, I am also glad to be back. I look forward to reading from you again. How are you all doing?
 
(Belated) congratulations Tri! Glad you had fun on your holidays. Taking more time to smell the roses sounds like an excellent idea. If you find a way to spend less time online (other then simply planning other things and keeping too busy to do so) let me know please...
 
Thanks Katy and LaMaria! ;)

I will let you know if I have something that works, LaMaria. This is my first attack plan now (after thinking about it for 5-10 minutes):

Step 1:
Look for ideas that I could try out. For starters, I found this list of options: http://superheroyou.com/less-time-online/ (and there are many other of such lists, I just picked the first one that I saw with lots of tips that seem reasonable on first sight (thus avoiding paralysis by analysis)).

Step 2:
Look through the list of ideas, and assess for each of the suggestions whether or not it is worth it to try it out, and write this down.

Step 3:
Pick the one idea from the list that will help me get a "quick win", one that is quick and easy to execute that will help me make a step in the right direction, even if it is just a little one, so that I get the confidence that I can do this and I get more motivation to continue making changes.

Step 4:
Pick another idea (from the list, or one that popped up in my head), and try it. Through the process, celebrate victories, and see "failures" as lessons.

I think that should be able to get me started. It is nice to have a simple list of tasks, so that I know what I have to do.

And this is my motivation for doing this (I also find it helpful to write this down):
Spending less time on my computer allows me to free time that I can spend in the "real" world, and the real world is amazing, so I don't want to miss it! I estimate that I can potentially free 10-20 hours per week, so this lifestyle change is among the most impactful that I can make (including quitting smoking and losing weight, other changes that have amazing benefits (that I can enjoy now (in part; as losing weight is now done just over 50%))).

If you have good ideas LaMaria, let me know! :)

Edit: by the way, I have not arrived at home yet, so I have not have had the opportunity to weigh myself. I stayed at a hostel in the Netherlands, because I arrived late (around 11 pm) and it was too late to reach my city by train. I will weigh myself when I am at home (at the end of this morning).
 
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Sounds good to me! Reading that I realized I'm not yet motivated enough to tackle my screentime. Even though I could use the time. Don't forget to tell us the result of your weigh-in!
 
Despite the strong case that I made to reduce my screentime, I also feel a heavy resistance to let go of my computer. It provides me with many of my needs; comfort, entertainment, ideas, etc. That's why I am taking small steps; I will need time to let go of it and find other activities. I trust that my motivation will grow too.

By the way, my weight was about 91.5 kg; about the same as when I left (so that's good).
 
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