to all fat cells: i hate you.

[cherrymamiya]

well, this is my first entry to a hopefully long-lasting diary. it probably would have been smarter to start this in the morning, but hey, better late than never, right?

info:

my name is Lauren. i'm 15 years old, going into the 10th grade. i'm 5'11" tall. i love drawing, video games, and my miniature schnauzer, Hermin. i currently weigh 215lbs., and my goal is to weigh 170lbs. i've been heavy my whole life, but i was more fit when i was a kid because of my high energy. when i turned 12, i lost the will to do anything active and packed on about 40 extra lbs. of fat. i was too embarassed to ask for any weight loss help, so nothing changed for 2 years. then at 14, i started doing weight watchers on my own and dropped 20lbs. i got sloppy with my records however, and ended up quitting the diet. i gained the pounds right back. since then i haven't had any success with any diets, and the only way i keep my current weight is by excercising. i'm very unhappy with the way i look, and shopping isn't easy. you'd be surprised how hard it is to find a size 18 pair of jeans that aren't hideous. i remember crying in the changing room when i was shopping for my prom dress because nothing fit. i fell into a depression for a few moths because of that shopping experience. my mom isn't much help when it comes to weight loss either. she's overweight, but very muscular too. all of her weight goes into her butt, so her waist is pretty small. she wears a smaller pant size than me because of this. she says "i wish you were a smaller size, it would be much easier to find clothes for you." wouldn't that hurt your feelings a little? it seems like no matter what i try, the fat just stays there. and i'm sick of everyone telling me "oh, your young. it should be really easy to drop that weight! you just need to eat less and excercise." like i haven't tried that? i've never had a boyfriend, i hate changing in the locker room, and i avoid being seen in a bathing suit in public at all costs. i feel like "the best years of my life" are being wasted.

wow, writing that felt good!


right now in my life:

school's out for summer! but that means i'm stuck at my house by myself all day, bored out of my mind.

the heat makes me super-lazy. and while i don't get hungry, i still eat what seems like too much.

i'm taking karate classes. i'm a purple-belt with two belts left before black. and the test is coming up!

i'm training my sheep to show at the upcoming fair.

i just got back from Atlanta, Georgia. i was there for the FBLA National Leadership Conference. i got to see the Georgia Aquarium, CNN headquarters, and the Coka-Cola place. it was my first time down south, and in a city bigger than Seattle.

i excercise regularly. I go to karate classes 3 times a week for an hour each, and i jog on my treadmil for a half hour twice a week. that's a hell of a lot more than my skinny friends excercise.

 

[glitterhairdye]

Hey Lauren! It's really hard to feel like that in high school, but if you get into the right mindset and do some research you can do it. It just take a lot of work which sucks. Since you're home alone see if you can get and exercise DVDs to do when no one is around watching. Counting calories is really the best thing for me and it might be for you. Because I know I have to write it down and then put it on here and FitDay for me to blantaly see what I was putting in my mouth.
Karate is really cool. How did you get into that?

 

[cherrymamiya]

glitterhairdye: thanks for the advice! i do have a belly-dancing dvd, but it's too basic for me now. maybe i'll order a more advanced one! and i got into karate when my whole family joined one of my dad's friends dojos. i quit for a while a year ago, but now i'm back there studying. my dad's a brown-belt, and my mom's a black-belt!

 

[lena410]

hey there
let me be honest with you: it won't be easy. it takes some discipline and dedication, but most of all it takes the right minbd-set. and that is the will to succeed you're already exercising which is great. perhaps you can add to that exercise during the summer that you have more time (either by increasing your karate lessons, or some other form), and off course eating the right way. This rights way does include less (but not too much), but the choices also matter. why don't you start by recording for yourself (either here, or in a place you feel comfortable with) the food that you eat. Include everything you actually do eat (every bite you grab, all of it).
At the same time look around the forum and through the sticky threads. You will find loads of great info on how much you should be eating for your size and the amount of exercise you're doing. Don't eat too little, start by focusing on losing 1% of your weight per week. In the beginning this can be done by cutting down on some of the things you usually eat (like too much salt, or too much bread or something).

Its one step at a time. and during that process you'll have ups and downs. But I can tell you that the eating the right way and exercising made me the happiest that i've ever been. I did slip back because of various circumstances and now i'm back on track and once more feeling good.

So good luck to you and your upcoming journey
Lena

 

[Ankebuzz]

Sounds to me like you've got a great head start with already exercising regularly. Here's something I posted for another friend a few days back that may help if you don't want to count calories... It's still based on calories though.

Sometimes makes it a bit simpler if you figure out how many portions of each (protein, starch, veg, fruit, fat and dairy) you can have per day... then you can just set up a tick list of portions broken down into the meals/times you would usually eat them at.

Calorie counting can get tiresome

I just go on average calories per portion...

1 starch = 70 (1 slice bread, half medium potato, half cup cooked grains(rice/quinoa)/pasta, 3 health type crackers.)

1 protein = 100 (1/3 of the flat solid part of your hand (palm) when it's facing up or about 100g / 1 cubic inch, or half a cup of pulses or beans like lentils or chickpeas)

1 fruit = 70 (1 cup fruit, small apple, small banana)

1 fat = 50 (1 tsp of any regular mayo/ creamy sauce/ oil/ butter/ margerine, double this for medium to lowfat variants, and 2 tblspns for light salad dressings)

1 veg = I don't count these, just keep yellow or starchy veg to 1 portion at at time.

1 dairy = 100 (these count as protein too. 1 cup lowfat milk, 1 cup yogurt, 1/2 cup cottage cheese)

So if you want to stay under 2000 per day... And keep your ratios:
Protein (includes dairy and beans and pulses) 40%
Carbs (includes your fruit and veg too) 40%
Fat 20%

To find out how many portions of protein you should eat per day, calculate 40% of 2000.
= 800 (this is how many calories of protein you should consume)
Divide it by 100 (1 portion), and the result is roughly 8 portions of protein per day, 3 of which are dairy.

To find out how many portions of carbs to eat, calculate 40% of 2000.
= 800 (this is how many calories of carbs you should consume)
I would take away about 100 cals to account for all the day's veg (as I do not count it), then split the rest of the portions between starch and fruit.
800 - 100 = 700
Divide by 70 to get number of portions (fruit and starch are the same amount of average calories)
700 / 70
This gives you 10 portions of carbs for the day. 6 portions should be starch and 4 should be fruit. (remember that fruit is often 2 fruit portions at a time, as with a biggish apple)

To find out how many portions of fat to eat, calculate 20% of 2000.
= 600 (this is how many calories of fats you should consume)
Divide this by 50 to get number of portions.
400 / 50 = 8
You should take in 8 portions of fat per day. (remember it includes the oils you cook with, and the fat content in all the rest of your foods...)

Phew, hope this is making sense!

Now you've got all your portions for the day:

Protein = 8 portions
Carbs = 10 portions
Fat = 8 portions

Break these up into the food groups as I had above:

Protein = 5 portions
Starch = 6 portions
Fruit = 4 portions
Fat = 8 portions
Dairy = 3 portions
Veg = unlimited (except for starchy or yellow/orange veg)

Now go work out a meal plan for yourself, picking and choosing portions and arranging them into whatever suits you (with your schedule!)

Really hope this helps!

Oh, and I think the exercise you're doing is sufficient right now, and you can think of adding other types or goals (such as running in an actual 5k - 3.1 mile race) once you've exerienced some loss from changing your eating habits.

Just do me one favour and don't eat too little. Here's how you work out how many calories you should be eating to lose weight:

Google "BMR" to get your Basal Metabolic Rate (how many calories to consume to maintain your weight if you were to lay about and do no exercise all day... then the Harris benedict equation (adds in your level of activity, to figure how many more calories you need due to how much you exercise) to get the amount of calories needed per day for you to maintain your weight on your average week (exercise included).

The general rule of thumb to LOSE 1 pound a week is to decrease your maintenance calories by 500, or to LOSE 2 pounds per weeks, decrease by 1000. NO MORE THAN THIS or you will NOT have energy for all your exercising and your body will not thank you!

Otherwise, welcome to your diary... and what tricks can your sheep do!!??

 

[cherrymamiya]

wow! i've never heard so much support! all i'm used to hearing is "diets are stupid, i'd never go on one. why would you want to lose weight anyway?" this place is refreshing~

i would like to add that i portrayed my mom in a bad light, which i didn't mean to. what i said was true, but she does tell me good job when i excersise and is somewhat supportive by not buying a whole bunch of junk food. i guess when i focused on only the bad shopping experiences, i got mad at her. i just wanted to say that my mom is not a bad person, just not the perfect role-model!

anyway, my mom said that since weight watchers worked last time, i should do it again. so she's taking me to an actual meeting tuesday i'm afraid i'll be the youngest one there! oh well! if it works i don't care!

walla walla isn't exactly the most health-supportive town either. (not that i blame the town for my problems!) right now we have a bunch of tourists here to taste the wine and buy sweet onions , so there are tons of food stands everywhere, not to mention all the fatty, deepfried, waaaay sugary things that will be available at the fair at the end of the month! i'm feeling somewhat glad that i don't have to drive into town every day and face temptation like my mom does.

my sheep is nowhere near ready to show yet! he isn't used to wearing a harness, so he thrashes around trying to escape from it! that probably won't look to good to the judges... i don't get why he's not used to it though! i've been walking him around on it every day for about 10 minutes, maybe he's just slow

i just got up about an hour ago, (10:00 am) and i went to bed at about 2 in the morning... i'm going to start getting to bed earlier so i can get up by 9 at least. i've only got about a month untill school starts again, so i need to be prepared to get up at 6 a.m.

and i'm going to start recording what i eat every day on here. i guess i'll guestimate the portions if i forget to measure. i'll post it at the end of the day before i go to bed! thanks again for all the advice and support!

 

[cherrymamiya]

i figured i'd post my motivations for losing weight while i'm thinking about them~

besides just being healthier in general, i want to lose weight because:

1. i want to be able to find clothes in the styles that i like.
2. i want to attract a little more attention from guys.
3. i want to not be embarassed to wear a bikini.
4. i want to be able to run and not feel like a tub of lard.
5. i want to get rid of my excercise-induced asthma.
6. i want to be confident so that i can pursue a career in music.
7. i want to feel cute and sexy.
8. i want to not jiggle.

ok, i think that's it. i think if i look at this later it might be a little boost of motivation if i'm having trouble.

 

[Iwan naloseit]

8. i want to not jiggle.

That is soooo one of my goals too! I hate it when I'm driving on a bumpy road and I'm jiggling around all over the place! Good job on your Karate, I always wanted to do that when I was a kid but my mom would never let me because thats why my brothers did and it was the "boys thing".

 

[cherrymamiya]

Day 1

ok, today i ate about as bad i normally do:

1 bottle chocolate milk : 400 cal. - 10g fat - 0g fiber

1 container fat free yogurt: 100 cal. - 0g fat - 0g fiber

Whole wheat bagel with turkey,
cream cheese, and pickles : 295 cal. - 12g fat - 7g fiber

Sugar-free Pudding: 60 cal. - 1.5g fat - 0g fiber

Subway 6-inch roast beef sub with
pepper jack cheese, lettuce,
cucumber, and ranch: 360 cal. - 16g fat - 2g fiber

licorice: 420 cal. - 0g fat - 0g fiber

wheat thins (reduced fat): 110 cal. - 4g fat - 1g fiber

fig newtons: 110 cal. - 2g fat- 0g fiber


total: 2155 cal. - 145.5g fat - 10g fiber

is that normal?? that seems like a lot of fat and a whole lot of calories.

 

[cherrymamiya]

here's ome photos for the heck of it. these are all from last september or later~

me at my heaviest (225lbs.):

me at my lightest (210lbs.):

me now (reference shots):

i was heaviest at the beginning of the last school year (first pic), but rushing from class to class and not eating so much because of the nasty cafeteria food made me slim down (second pic). this summer has been better than the last one, since i've only gained about 5lbs. since school ended (last pics). during the last summer, i gained 15lbs.!

 

[cherrymamiya]

note to self:

drink at least 64 oz. of water every day.

and cut out all soda, diet or not.

 

[cherrymamiya]

i'm soooo tired... i got up at 8 and went to karate for 2 hours i decided i probably don't need to write down every gram of fiber in my "food diary" right now.

and i did something terrible! i went out to breakfast with my parents, and i got a "german" omlette! it's an omlette with swiss cheese and lots of german sausage in it. i also had hash browns and some wheat toast... i ate way too much of it, and i should have gotten fruit instead of the hashbrowns. looking back, i regret eating it! (even if it was delicious) i guess i'll just have to eat really light for the rest of the day... any advice on how to avoid overeating in resturants would be great.

 

[cherrymamiya]

ok, i have no idea how many calories i've eaten, but i do know what foods i've eaten.


german omlette (eggs, swiss cheese, german sausage)

hashbrowns

2 slices wheat toast with butter and jam

1 cup sugar-free chocolate pudding

3 slices chicken pizza (has chicken, tomatos, onion, and pesto instead of red sauce)

1 cup buttered popcorn


the only good news is that i drank plenty of water and no pop... i'm starting to look forward to the weight watchers meeting. if i join, i'll have new motivation since they weigh you at each meeting...

 

[Ankebuzz]

Hey! The calories sound (don't quote me here) fine for a 15 yr old doing lotsa karate

The weight watchers will get you on track regarding what to eat and how much... But so far it seems you're doing well.

At restaurants, chicken salads (dressing on the SIDE) - just dip fork into dressing before eating salad... I hear it works. Otherwise some sort of meat (as long as it's not battered or fried) so grilled or steamed, broiled or baked is good. For the side, stick to potato or rice and eat only half a cup's worth. Always find out about their veggies too.... don't be afraid to ask!

 

[lena410]

I agree.
You are still growing and developing so for your size, doing karate the caloric intake is good, this way you will progressively add to exercise and lower your caloric intake gradually, and constantly lose weight. One of the biggest mistakes people make is by cutting their caloric intake too much, they start losing fast, but after a couple of months they don't have energy and hit a plateau. This way you'll be able to postpone the plateau for a longer period of time

I do have a question. where did you get the former calories of the food you've eaten? there are great sites that already have food calculated so check them out as well, like or

weight watchers will probably help you keep your caloric intake on track. and again, read through the stickies around the forum. they are very very helpful, both food and exercise wise.

have a great day,
Lena

 

[cherrymamiya]

i'm back! sorry i haven't been posting, but i spent a few days with my cousin, so i couldn't get on the internet. well, i don't remember what i ate, so i'm afraid i can't tell you. i'm going to the weight watchers meeting today, so i'm going to start logging my meals into a paper journal. it's better for me to write my foods down, uh, "manually". with a pencil, you know? and my mom's going to do the diet with me! is losing 10 pounds by september too much to hope for? i mean last time i did weight watchers, i lost 4 pounds the first week and 2 each week after, without excercise. i'm thinking it will be a little more difficult now that i'm older and the fat's been there longer. is it true that fat's harder to lose as you get older? well anyways, i'll tell you all about the meeting tonight, wish me luck!

 

[Ugotwillugotway]

WElcome.

You can do it!!!
You're very young, it will be easier for you to take care of your weight issues than some of us older members here, your body will adjust easier and change easier, wish I listened to my trainers back then when I was under 18.

 

[Ankebuzz]

As I understand, it's gets more difficult after 35.

You're still really young, so don't worry! Another alternative to keep track is to figure out how many portions of what kinds of foods you should be eating every day and creating a checklist... then you just tick off as you go along! I have a template I could mail to you...?

 

[Camy]

Hey there,
Lena has said everything wanted to say, so I really have nothing left to say !

I was in a similar position as you, I also was chubby, but not fat, at your age, doing tons of sports (I didn't do karate, but I danced 3 to 5 times a week). Everybody else (especially in sports) was thinner and ate more than me (or so it seemed to me). I also have a mom who would push for me to lose weight, or would be sad when I didn't fit into stuff... this is normal and I have understood (with some time and a lot of tears) that she just wanted to make me feel better, that she just tried to help me.
I tried a few fad diets when I was your age, and they never worked, then tried dieting again when, after starting college (a few years into college actually) I had put on like 30 pounds on top of my not so slender figure. Nothing worked ever, I would just end up bigger afterwards.
Finally this January something clicked and it worked. I have lost about 22 or 24 pounds since, very slowly, the first 6 pounds were gone in like 2 or 3 weeks, then the rest came off one at a time over a lot of time, although 24 pounds in 8 months is probably an ok rate. I think for some people this clicking happens, for some it doesn't, and some try without the click and fall back into old habits. I had been determined the other times, but this time it felt differently and I wasn't as desperate to lose it all quickly.
I am ok with losing it slowly, I have a goal date, but if I don't make it, it doesn't matter so much, it is just important that I feel better with myself.

Depriving yourself of anything is bad! You can have everything just in small amounts, I like to have some chocolate every now and then and I allow it, even if I may want a piece every day. Well I just work it into my food. I have counted every single calorie for weeks, now I just count approximately in my head and I know how many "chips" I am playing this poker game with.
Weight watchers will probably help you, but unless you want to be on WW forever you have to try to understand what you eat and why it is good or bad for you. I think WW has a high rate of people having to go back to it, because people do not learn from their experience.

The list you made is a great idea, something else you may want to make is a list of things you like about yourself. Those can be physical traits or character traits.
When I reached 160 pounds (almost) I hated myself, I hated how I looked, I hated being me, now I like myself again, not just because I look better, but because I have proven to myself that when I want to do something I can.
My parents have never said I look better, even when I had lost almost 20 pounds (last time I saw them), they have never been a great backup, and although I was upset for like 10 minutes, I remembered, this is about me! Not them, not my soon to be husband person, not my neighbours, or my dance teachers, this is about me!

So, enjoy every day, do not feel guilty, but think before you eat something if you really want/need it (and sometimes you really want/need sugary, fried stuff and that is ok!). Once a day is over do not feel bad about it, look into the future not the past! Think "I had a shitty day, tomorrow will be better".
Lots of people here have done it/are doing amazing things, just look around and be assured you can do it! Camy
P/s: you do not look "fat" at all in your pictures, you look beautiful! But I understand, I didn't look "fat" either and still hated my body!

 

[cherrymamiya]

yay! i went to weight watchers last night and ended up roping my mom into joining too! i went to the grocery store and i got to show off my knowledge of what's good for you (whole-wheat pasta) and what's not (hostess mini pies). my mom got to find out that the mini-pies she had been eating three times a week had 20g of fat and 400 calories, with 190 of those calories from fat. she was not happy about all the healthy food. i tried to explain that "diet foods" aren't all that great. don't get me wrong, i love rice cakes as much as the next girl, but they don't keep you full like a bowl of vegetable soup or an apple would. she took one look at the whole-wheat pasta and said, "Bleh! i hope it tastes better than it looks!" we had a last hurrah with a dinner of burgers and fries with a dessert of blackberry ice-cream last night.

i know that i'll lose weight. there's the whole weigh-in at each weight watchers meeting, along with the realization that i like more healthy food than i used to. plus, i have to do well to keep my mom on track! i found out that i get 31 points a day ! i get extra because i'm young and fairly tall, but i do have to put the extra points towards an extra serving of dairy (because i'm under 17 years old). my mom only gets 25 points a day, and she was not happy about that. i also dicovered that you get 35 extra points a week for treats or special occasions! i thought it was 10! i'm going to pretend i don't have them, or just use them in emergencies. (such as a craving for a french dip sandwhich!) see you later!

(p.s.)
i weigh 218lbs on the weight watchers scale! i guess i need to update my ticker.