Time's a Wastin, and I'm Still Fat.

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MysticRealm

MysticRealm

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It's late and I don't have the energy to do a big long write up, but for those of you that have been here for a while you will remember my old thread "Burlesque Babe". Though that thread had many triumphs in the beginning, where I lost 30 pounds, it ended in too many failures, where I tried again and again to re-lose the 25+ pounds I regained.
So I'm starting a new thread to try to finally concur this issue. I'm running out of time for 'being young' and I really want to look beautiful while I'm still young. I want to wear a bikini and feel great, I want to wear a tight top, with tight jeans, and not worry about the muffin top. I want to feel comfortable with a member of the opposite sex touching me. I also really need to get this under control before my metabolism starts to slow down. I have several aunts who were like me when they were younger, a little overweight, nothing crazy, and now they weigh 300+. You always think 'how could someone let themselves get that way', but when I really think about it, the instant my metabolism slows down, with the way I eat, I'm there.
I will try to weigh tomorrow morning, but it will be close to 170. Even my fat clothes are feeling tight. Last summer I could go to the beach in a bikini and, though I was still not at an ideal weight, I could at least not wear a cover up at all times I wasn't in the water. I will be going camping this weekend, where there is a chance we will go to a river to swim, and I'm not sure I will even bring my suit.
I'm not sure what I will do as far as my 'plan'. I would like to exercise, maybe starting with my DVD's, then maybe the gym. As far as food, I'm not sure if I will count calories, of just try to cut back and be more conscious of what I am eating.

I likely have about 45-50 pounds to lose. I believe I need to be 140 to no longer be considered overweight, and would like to weigh around 120 or so (depending on how I look and feel when I get to around that weight). It will be a long, hard road (that will have to last the rest of my life) but it is so worth it .
I am looking forward to catching up on the fantastic people I knew from last time who are still workin it! As well as 'meet' new people who are giving it a go!
 
I also just started a new diary. I tried before after gaining some of my weight back to start using my old diary and it didn't seem right. Something didn't click. I think for me it was I had awesome success in my original and I couldn't get past the feeling like a failure when I gain almost all my weight back.

So I started a new diary for another chance at health. Sounds like you wanted something very similar. So good luck and sending good vibes for your journey!
 
Thank you. I tried again and again on my last diary, but it was getting so long after 8 months of 'good' and 5 or 6 attempts I decided a knew one was needed.

Yesterday was a bit of an off day because we had a sort of birthday party for my nephew and ordered in pizza. I had only eaten a lunch of carrots and dip and apple with peanut butter so ate probably too many slices, and had some coke. We then also had a bit of ice cream for dessert. I rode my horse but no other exercise.
Today so far I have just had 2 left over slices of pizza. I'm also heading out camping for the weekend so my food choices this weekend will probably be a little not great as well. I'll try not to over indulge, then really try to get on track when I get home. I will also go around to everyone's diaries when I get back and try to make some new friends!
 
Welcome back Mystic!!! Yay!

Getting back on track can be hard, but the good news is I think the weight loss comes easier right after you've gained some. Very happy to see you back and hope you stick around!!
 
THanks guys!
I'm still not feeling terribly motivated about getting back on track which totally sucks.
I wasn't as watchful of what I ate as I would have liked while camping. We did do a small 'hike' climbing up hoodoos, but nothing too extreme.
On Saturday night, just as we were making food a huge storm came up. There were tornado watches in the forecast and we could start to see the clouds start to swirl. Thankfully no tornadoes, but terrible winds, rain, and hail broke our tents and flooded everything. We hopped into our vehicles just in time to keep ourselves in good health!

Our tent

The storm coming in

A pic of me from just a few hours earlier


(Hopefully the pics don't come out huge.)
So we had to pack up and head home. I currently have a bit of infection in both ankles from where I must have scratched open a couple mosquito bites, then I walked through the ankle deep water after the storm to pack everything up.
Sunday I went for lunch to a vietnamese restaurant, then had cake for my nephew and sis in laws bday, had leftover vietnamese for supper, then poptarts for night snack. Ick
Today I had a piece of my lasagna for lunch, stopped and got a slurpee after work, then went for supper out and had pasta, bread, and soup. Got home and had a bunch of chips ahoy cookies.
Just gonna keep trying cause that's all one can do.

BTW as far as my weight goes, I'm around 170-171. I have sometimes weighed in at that before, but generally only for a day or 2 due to eating something super high sodium or something like that. Otherwise my highest stayed around 168. I should be able to drop around 3-4 pounds quickly if I can get my eating on track but it annoys me that I let myself get a little heavier than my heaviest. It scares me for my future if I can't get this under control.
 
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Hello Mystic :)
Those pictures are awesome, especially the one of the storm coming in. And I´m not seeing those 45 extra pounds either, but I know that´s a personal decision. Just keep writing, even if you´re not quite there yet with the eating, it really, really helps (but you know that, you´ve been here longer than me).
 
Thanks guys. Trust me, it's there. I have to be 140 I believe to even be considered not overweight. I got into the 130's before and still was not at what would truly be my ideal weight. I'm not going for a stick figure just want to not be fat.
Yesterday was not a good day. Lunch was fine, a slice of my lasagna. But I got a large bottle of brisk strawberry melon or something which is probably close to 300 cals at least. Then for supper I picked up Swiss Chalet. This consisted of perogies and dip, poutine side dish, 1/4 chicken with dip, a bun with butter, and a Pepsi. Then if that wasn't bad enough I had 2 poptarts. I rode but no other exercise.
Today I had a slice of my lasagna then got a Slurpee on my drive to the barn (oh ya, and a Mars bar cause they were cheap if you bought a Slurpee) Really hoping to eat decent tonight!
 
First off you are adorable at this weight! I bet you are a killer at goal! 140 is also my "not overweight BMI" as well. I was so close in 2012 and then you know...blah blah blah...lol. :)

Secondly...That poor tent! but that picture of the storm coming in is great!

and Third and finally I don't think I can read your diary if you are going to talk about all that awesomely bad but oh so good food! hahaha :willy_nilly:

Do you use anything to log or calories? I use My Fitness Pal app on my iphone and when I am being honest and making an effort...it really helps me stay on goal with the food at least. Now the exercise is another story nothing can get me moving some days...I would rich if I could invent that app!
 
Thanks.
I did use myfitnesspal when I managed to lose about 30 pounds a year and a bit ago. It's something I should really start up again.
 
So I entered what I ate today (roughly) on MFP and it came out to just below 2600. I'd like to keep my weekly average to 1700 cals a day (so 11,900 a week).
I finished off the day by picking up a footlong sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub, with the chips and drink combo, THEN had 2 small apples with way too much PB.
 
Hi Mystic, I use MFP too & have an open diary. I'm CateAussie if you want to add me. I'm keeping it limited , but would prefer to have WLF "friends" like you & tete. Using it makes me re-think what I am about to eat. hen you input something you planned on eating & see what that does to your daily eating plan it can be just the thing to change your mind. I'm currently on only 1350 a day, to shake things up & to lose another 4.5kg. Just keep looking forward & not giving up. You will get your motivation back. You look gorgeous, btw, & when you do get focussed again & drop some weight you will feel much better. Cheers, Cate.
 
I agree with Cate....feel free to add me if you want . I found just looking at her diary makes me want to eat better! I am pretty good with watching calories...its the type of calories I eat that are horrible somedays!
 
Not doing great. :( Will try to post more tomorrow. Got crap news about something really important which is always helpful as well.
 
Ok, so still not doing great haha, but I'm still wanting to get back on track. Hopefully I will soon have even more incentive.
The big crap news I got the other day was that I had bought a house (new, not even started being built) about a month back with a detached garage. Well, on thursday the builder called me and said 'whoops, your garage is now becoming parking pads (ie. just regular old outside stalls)' I live in a climate where the winters are not pleasant to deal with without a garage! And I plain old want a garage!
So now I had/have one week to decide if I want to go through with it (with a measly 10k off the price) or back out. I spent nearly all of today with my mom driving around and looking at showhomes and I think I have settled on a new place. It definitely is more expensive than I was originally looking at, and I will need a roommate at least for the first couple years, but I think it's the best bang for my buck.
It would not be ready for about a year :( however the reason why it'd be a bit of an incentive is because it will be in a lake community, and as I stand (super fat and gross) right now I would not be wanting to be seen in anything resembling a bathing suit!!! And what point is there in living in a lake community if you don't use the lake! So I have a year to shape up!
Now this isn't confirmed yet, I haven't even cancelled the other mortgage and backed out of it yet, nor have I even properly put the place on hold (though it is on hold for me I still need to bring in the $1000 holding cheque. I do have to be a little quick about it as the first 5 people to sign (this new area just opened up for them to sell) I get $5000 off the purchase price which is always helpful.

If I can just get the ball rolling for 2 months if would be so much easier. Right now the cravings are so incredibly intense it's nearly impossible to try to curb them. Especially with all the stress from the house search thing!! Makes me want to eat for some comfort. I'm am absolutely mentally exhausted from today.
 
Thought I would try putting up my goals. I usually weigh in on Friday mornings (officially anyway)

Starting Weight: 171 :banghead:
Current Weight: 171 :banghead: :banghead:
Mini Goal Weight: 165 by August 15th
Goal Weight: 120
 
Urgh that does sound stressful!! How did that happen with the garage in the place you were building?

I didn't have a good week either, oops. All you can do is the best you can in your situation!!
 
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