Time's a Wastin, and I'm Still Fat.

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Thanks guys. I'm ok, but I usually do my diary entry at around 10pm at night and I forgot to do it yesterday till I was too tired.

Official Weigh in yesterday. Obviously with hardly eating anything the day before (and exiting all the liquids in my body!) it was quite a good one haha.

Starting weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 140.4 (-3.4)
First Mini Goal Weight: 160 by March 27 *Accomplished March 20th*
Second Mini Goal Weight: 144 by July 3 *Accomplished July 3rd*
Third Mini Goal Weight: 133 by September 4
Final Goal Weigh: 125


Thursday's Fitbit (First day I was sick)
Steps: 1327
Floors: 0
Miles: 0.55
Calories: 1570

Thursday's Deficit: 1020

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 1472
Floors: 1
Miles: 0.62
Calories: 1563

Yesterday's Cals Eaten: 3428
Yesterday's Deficit: -1865

Yesterday I just stayed at home all day. I certainly was still not feeling great. Mostly my lungs were really bothering me, however my tummy was ok so I could eat again and boy did I eat again! Woke up and had 2 pieces of french toast, immediately followed up by an entire recipe of pancakes, both with syrup. I also had a lot of chocolate, an ice cream sandwich, popcorn, and my supper. I'm surprised my tummy put up with me to be honest! My mom came over for supper as she really liked the chicken cashew pasta salad I made.

Today's Weigh in 141.8

Today my lungs still feel gross, and so I'm going to miss out on my long run!! Ahh! My Tough Mudder is only 2 weeks away! I may have to try to do my long run on Monday if I feel ok then. I also haven't weight lifted since thursday of LAST week! Geesh!
I'm gonna push myself a bit and will walk to the mall and do some shopping. I'm not sure if I mentioned it but my mom and I are going to New York City for vacation at the end of September, and I just really do not have much to wear. So I'd kinda like to go and find maybe a couple of nice bottoms and a few nice tops. I also should really go through all the clothes I currently own and pull out all the stuff that doesn't fit me. I keep trying things on when I go to go out and so much of my tops are so baggy they just don't look good.
I started the day off jamming 2 bagels into me, and I plan to go to the fireworks today with that guy and we will probably stop and grab a bite to eat beforehand so I really need to not keep jamming my face for the rest of the day!

I mentioned a bit ago that me and my best friend were in a bit of a tift. She had written me a FB note on Monday telling me her feelings on the situation. I wrote her back Tuesday telling my feelings on the situation and it is now Saturday and she has not responded in anyway. I was honest with her on what I thought about the guy she is currently dating, and though I think in the back of her mind she probably knows he's not a good guy, I think she might be ending our friendship due to what I said. I really need to get the balls up to call her and talk straight up with her but that's hard for me especially when I am still sick and don't have the energy.
 
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Continuation from my above post.

My less than good eating lasted through to lunch, which I had at the mall. However I was able to get it in check after that and all I had the rest of the day was a slice of watermelon just now.
At the mall I was able to find some really nice stuff surprisingly. My legs looked really quite good in the pants I tried on. I bought size 6-7 pants, and size small tops. I got 3 pairs of pants and 3 tops.
Here's one of my new outfits
11951262_10153517334795132_3059830444908906112_n.jpg


In the evening I met up with the guy I talked about and we went to the fireworks show. It was actually really neat. The fireworks were set to go off in time with music that was playing, to match the feel and intensity of the music as well. The guy was nice and we had a good time. I will probably go with him again tomorrow. (Though that will probably be the last time as it's 20 bucks a pop then had to pay 10 bucks for parking!!)

Calories Eaten: 1981
 
So I had a really crappy night of sleep. Woke up somewhere around 3 and could not seem to get back to bed. Had some restless leg stuff going on. Got up, took an advil, didn't seem to help much, went on the computer then read a bit... and for some reason ate 2 servings of chocolate!! At like 5am! I added the cals to yesterday's diary though I will try to make up for them a bit today. I won't be under my weekly cals this week, but if I can get myself more on track today it will make getting under my weekly cals next week easier.
I did eventually fall back asleep (with my light on since I was too tired to get up and turn it off)
So yesterday's cals eaten was: 2401
 
That outfit looks great Mystic. You are really looking good! Chocolate in the middle of the night? :eek: Hope you feel 100% now xo Cate
 
Thanks. Ya, the chocolate was not a good idea, but then again neither was all the chocolate I had today. :(

141.3 this morning (at 10am or so)

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 10535
Floors: 4
Miles: 4.41
Calories: 1994

Yesterday's Deficit: -407
Got up and made myself go for a walk. Probably 5-6km or so.
Got home and had a salad for lunch. Starting my day well.
I then went out and met my realtor (walked the short distance to the coffee shop)to discuss nothing like he usually likes to do.
Got back and planned to maybe have a snack between then and supper.
And then I had chocolate, more chocolate, then a sandwich, then more chocolate, then a bit more chocolate.
I was finally able to stop and decided against the vietnamese I had planned for supper.
I showered and headed out for another walk, 5-6km, before I was going to get ready to go out to the fireworks display again with that guy (who asked for it to be a 'real date' this time)
And then I started to pay for my bad eating and probably over exerting myself on my walks while still not feeling 100%. I felt BAD. I ended up cancelling my date because of it. Gonna reschedule to the next day it goes on which is Tuesday.
I didn't have anything to eat until just now, when I had some yogurt and raspberries because I didn't want to be starving tomorrow early in the day because I didn't eat since 3:30 in the afternoon.
Still don't feel great but it's getting better. If I count last nights 5am chocolate as yesterday's eating then I ate within my calories today. I just gotta get it under control.
I was really hoping to be able to start doing real exercise again, but after today and my chest still feeling tight a lot of the time I'm not sure if that will be possible, but I only have less than 2 weeks to go till my race!
For some reason my fitbit recorded 53 floors today! 35 of those floors within 15 mins while on my pretty level ground walk today. I know that it goes by air pressure to tell when you've gone up and so on windy days it can be off a bit, but it wasn't even that windy and a good 45 extra floors?!

I finally got up the balls to call my 'best friend' today, I called her on my walk in the am. She didn't answer, and has not called or messaged me back at all. I can't believe that it seems she's dumping me for this, but it appears so. I won't completely give up for a couple more days but I won't hold my breath either.

Calories Eaten: 1526
 
:( That's a lot of crap to come your way in a few short days! Take it easy for a bit please, you don't want to still feel like crap when it's time for the race! In all honesty: the next two weeks aren't really going to count as training anymore anyway you put in the work already and you'll see the result soon enough. For now I'd say: get fit and do some moderate exercise once you are, but save your energy.

Hope you'll feel better soon!
 
Sorry you're under the weather still. I like your hair like that, looks great. Hopefully your dates with this guy continue to work out. You seem to be enjoying them. As for your friend, I can relate right now. My friend is having some personal turmoil which is making him lash out a bit, so I'm guessing yours might have a little of the same going on.
 
Hope you're feeling better now Mystic & that you go out on the fireworks "date" with this guy. I think you quite like him. Stay off the chocolate though! Give yourself a bit of healthy love instead xo Cate
 
Thanks guys. I'm starting to feel better. My friend has still not responded to me in anyway. If I don't hear from her by wednesday I'm just going to ask her if she can at least let me know if she still wants to be friends or not. That way I will at least know one way or another. I can't imagine dumping my best friend of years and years for her being honest about having worries about the guy I'm dating, especially when she says that that if I think he's a good guy then she will support me. But I know that she absolutely feels she NEEDS a man to be happy in anyway so I suppose it's not totally shocking.

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 16473
Floors: Unknown due to weird overestimation
Miles: 6.89
Calories: 2047

Yesterday's Deficit: 521
Last Week's Deficit: 329, not much of a deficit but hey it IS a deficit!

141.8 this morning. Happy not to see it jumping above 142. If I get in a good eating and exercise week maybe I can slide into the 130's by friday.

Had an easy day of work, but could feel as I was done that I was going to go home and want to eat crap. I got off work around noon and promptly went home and ate crap. I managed to stop myself at 3:30 or so, and the good news is is that I am now out of chocolate, and ice cream sandwiches. Doesn't mean I won't over eat on other stuff, but at least none of the super tempting stuff.
I felt not great from the bad eating, and really tired. I really wanted to do some walking or try to run but I knew I couldn't do it right away or I would get a bad side stitch, plus I was tired. So I decided to take a nap. I was a bit worried that I would not be able to get myself back into working out after being 'lazy' during being sick, I knew I had to get back on it soon. Was in bed from around 4:30-6 then got myself up and got ready to head to the gym.
Spent 40 mins on the treadmill, with 25 of that running. Went 4.12miles. I was surprised how easy it felt to run that straight with my chest being a bit funny still but it didn't really bother me. I then went and did weights. My program told me to deload since it's been longer than a week since I lifted.
Squat 120
Overhead press 55
Deadlift 120
I then got back on the treadmill. I tried to run a bit but didn't have it in me. 2miles, 30 mins.

Didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day after I stopped eating at 3:30. I didn't quite exercise enough to make up for my eating, but pretty close. Probably around 100 cals over but I should be able to make that up during the week if I can really get on track.

Cals Eaten: 1863
 
Heres the thing about best friends who think they need to be with dudes to validate them...they will chose a temporary relationship over best friends. I have been there before. I'm sure I'll be there again. I'm sorry you are there right now, because it sucks. But the reality is, friends come and go and you will find another bestie. Especially with as much as you are getting out and mingling now. I'd tell you the story of my ex-bestie but this is your diary not mine and I'm not hijacking you just lending you a bit of support in this dark time. Chin up. Don't ever think she wasn't a real friend though, she most likely was, but your paths went in different directions when her's followed his. That happens more and more often the older you get. I think the best thing I ever did was get an insufferable dude as a best friend. And then surrounded myself with a whole bunch of chicks that I've known for so long they are all married or newly divorced and have so many kids they depend on me for wine and laughs. And who knows, your friend will probably gravitate back to you eventually when she realizes that A) she needs girlfriends and B) she needs girlfriends. So don't burn the bridge, maybe just leave that door open because she might need you someday.
 
I so love KP's post. I agree with the lot. Either your friend gets over it, or she doesn't. Friendship is unconditional, just like a really good marriage. Whatever happens, don't eat any more chocolate Mystic. Chocolate is not the answer to anything.......xoxo Cate
 
Thanks guys. Good news is that I avoided any chocolate today (despite remembering I had chocolate still in my house, in a smores making kit!)
I'll do a quick friend update before moving on the the rest of my day. So I finally couldn't take it anymore at around 11am this morning and I messaged my friend and said 'I would really appreciate it if you could answer just this one question. Do you consider this the end of our friendship?" She finally, and pretty quickly, responded back "no, I don't consider this the end. I would like to go for coffee and discuss this" So that was very relieving. She may not be the worlds most awesome friend but I do love her and I want us to remain good, if not best, friends. So we will see how coffee goes.
On to the rest of my usual post

141.2 this morning. Was nice to see it drop down a little bit. Give me hope that I MAY see the 130's by friday if I'm still holding some water weight now.

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 16628
Floors: 11
Miles: 8.36
Calories: 2273

Yesterday's Deficit: 410

Work was ok today. Slow still with school starting. Unfortunately my groomer is feeling like she's having trouble making rent with having too many slow days/days off and is going to try to find a second job for 1 day a week. Not a huge deal, especially when we are slower, but we will feel it when we are busy. I was so glad my lunch was 2 cashew granola bars because I could eat one at 9am when I felt really hungry since I hadn't eaten since 3:30 the day before. Then I still had one for lunch. Got off work around 2 and went home. I still felt a bit hungry so worked my calories so I could have a bagel with peanut butter. I relaxed till 3 then headed to the gym. Did more than 5 miles running (1 min walk breaks every 10-15mins), then did an additional 25mins walking.
BTW the reason why I am running in the gym and not outside is that we have a poor air quality advisement due to all the smoke in the air due to the fires down in washington!! (Which is an 11 hour drive from us!). It looks like it's overcast when it's really just smoke and it smells like campfires 24/7.
After my workout I had supper (and popcorn haha), then had to rush to get ready to go to the fireworks with that guy. Let's call him C. Had a really great time. Walked around a bit, he really wanted me to try the belgian waffles (which I knew ahead of time), I told him I was really full from just eating supper (which isn't true, I can ALWAYS eat more but wanted to be watchful of my cals) but that I would try a bit of his. But he waits all year for these so he ended up getting 2, but I was very good and ate only half, giving him the rest (when I got home I saw that I had actually had enough cals I definitely could have had the whole thing, but I was happy I showed such restraint!). The fireworks were fantastic, super upbeat and fun music, and some really neat fireworks, some even from the middle of the lake!
Afterwards we talked a bit more, then C tried to kiss me! Now I am NOT experienced at all when it comes to dating and kissing and making out and what have you, and I get really embarrassed about possibly being bad at it and not knowing what I am doing. I ended up turning away and I'm sure my face was bright red! I apologized and he could tell I was really embarrassed and nervous, but he was a real gentleman about it. He didn't push it anymore and kept the conversation up to put me back at ease. It took a bit but I did relax back down. It's not that I thought he was too forward or that I didn't want to kiss him, but I just didn't want to make an ass of myself. When we got back to my car he hugged me once, we talked a little more, he asked me when I would be free on the weekend and talked of some tentative plans. He then hugged me again and said that he was just gonna give me a peck and I said ok.
When I got home I thanked him again for being understanding and joked about since we didn't actually hold hands it couldn't count as a date (a throwback to a conversation we had earlier) and he said that we would then have to try another date. So surprisingly a guy close to 30 (I don't actually even know how old he is haha) is willing to put up with a girl that's too embarrassed to kiss him (so likely won't be putting out any time soon) and continue to date her! That's pretty impressive I think. I will definitely be seeing him again!
When I got home I had to quickly tidy my place a bit. I didn't make it perfect as it was late, but tidy enough that is someone needed to see it on a really short notice it would be acceptable, then I saw that I should really eat something a little more so had a peanut granola bar.
I am gonna have to miss out on commenting on other people's diaries tonight simply because it's already midnight, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately AND I have to be up and at work for 7:45am! Will try to comment early tomorrow if possible!

Calories Eaten: 1669
 
Oh Mystic. C sounds like a really good guy! Do you know kissing is not something that I particularly enjoy. I have been with G for 44 years & really don't enjoy kissing. It's lovely that C is respectful & understanding. Glad you had a drop too! xoC


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That's a cute story, he sounds great! Don't worry about that first kiss, even if it feels awkward when it happens... Practicing can be fun :)
 
First kisses are ALWAYS awkward. But after a while you find your kissing groove and its different kissing different people. And that was a cute story. And made me want waffles.
 
Thanks guys. I'm gonna try to be less embarrassed next time. He knows now why I'm may be bad at it and such haha so hopefully I will be more ok next time!

140.8 this morning. Crossing so many fingers for 130's on friday!

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 23289
Floors: 20
Miles: 11.32
Calories: 2583

Yesterday's Deficit: 914

I think I had too much of a deficit yesterday. I netted under 1000 calories, which felt fine yesterday but I felt really hungry today.
I didn't have any food prepared for lunch so I just brought 2 cashew granola bars. I had one at 10, then one at 11:30, but was still hungry. My mom had an almond granola bar so I had one of those. I finished work at 2 and was still hungry so had some chicken my mom had brought. Then when I left work I had another almond bar.
I went to the barn and had a riding lesson. My horse was a little excitable, but that's to be expected.
I then went and drove by my house being built. They have stucco'd the outside. It still needs to be painted or something yet but it's looking pretty good. I then went to the frozen yogurt place.
Went to the grocery store on my way home, and picked up just a couple things. Stayed away from the chocolate and ice cream sandwiches for now. Will add that back in once I'm more on track.
I had to rework my calories for supper since I had eaten so much earlier in the day. I debated back and forth about what I would do for exercise, I thought maybe I would just be able to walk or do a light run. Decided to eat supper first. Had to wait a while after supper to workout so only went down to the gym around 8:45. Amazingly didn't get any side stitches from running so close to supper, I did have a few throw up burps though! Mild ones haha. I walked 10 mins, ran a little over 5km, then walked for 15 mins, then decided to do another 10 mins running, then 5 mins cooldown. Total of 75mins.
Came back and had more cals to work with so had a couple snacks to make sure I kept my net cals about 1200.

C and I are going to go running on friday, then go bowling afterwards, and maybe out for dessert. Saturday we'll probably go to a pub for supper (been CRAVING potstickers) then to the finale of the firework competition thing.

Calories Eaten: 1820
 
140.6 this morning.

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 17618
Floors: 4
Miles: 8.69
Calories: 2446

Yesterday's Deficit: 626

I felt really munchie all day today. I brought a granola bar and salad for lunch today. I ended up having both of those, plus 3 of my mom's granola bars she keeps at the shop. I went out for coffee with my best friend after work to sort out our stuff (which went well, though I still feel like the dude isn't the best and she's moving too fast, but that's her choice) and didn't get any food there. I then went home and exercised, 15 mins on the treadmill before weights
Squat 125
Bench Press 60
Barbell row 60
Then 35 more mins on the treadmill.

That put me in the 'green' enough with my calories to have my popcorn for evening snack after supper. I had planned for another walk but by the time I finished eating my supper, then evening snack it was already quite dark outside! You can tell the days are getting shorter! I knew that I would probably end up a little over cals once my fitbit cals readjusted but by less than 100, until I had a mini binge on honey and peanut butter. Which put me up over my cals today by probably close to 500 by the end of the day. This puts me around maintenance for today. I just hope the extra food and sodium so late this evening won't throw off my official weigh in tomorrow morning!
I'm off work tomorrow. I'm going for a run with C tomorrow evening, but I also plan to do a good bit of exercise in the morning and to ride my horse so I should still think I could get myself under my weekly cals if I don't eat too poorly on the weekend, especially with my long run on saturday and probably hiking on sunday.

Cals Eaten: 2070
 
I'm glad you caught up with your friend Mystic. Sometimes people have to learn by their mistakes &, you never know he may be the one for her.
You are so close to the 130's!! Good luck! Have fun with C xoC


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Thanks.

Official weigh in day. Paid for my little peanut butter binge.

Starting weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 141.2 (+0.8)
First Mini Goal Weight: 160 by March 27 *Accomplished March 20th*
Second Mini Goal Weight: 144 by July 3 *Accomplished July 3rd*
Third Mini Goal Weight: 133 by September 4
Final Goal Weigh: 125

Yesterday's Fitbit
Steps: 13021
Floors: 10
Miles: 6.33
Calories: 2130

Yesterday's Deficit: 60

Well, as quickly as it started it's over with C. He ended up being a weirdo, I thought we were just joking around while texting and suddenly he was saying that I was complaining too much and that he didn't feel like seeing me. He had said a few odd things here and there in the past but I thought that I had mis-interpretted/misunderstood what he had said, but now I realize that he probably had meant it the way I had understood it. I don't have the desire or effort to be with anyone I have to pussy foot around or watch what I'm saying like that, I joke the same way in real life. I am more than happy being single if it is not the right guy. Glad I didn't kiss him now!

Onto my day.
Woke up at 7:30 to weigh myself, then went back to bed. Slept in till around 10 then stayed in bed till around 11. Got up and made myself ham and cheese biscuits. First time trying to make them and OMG they came out good! TOOO good!! I ate... NINE of them!! Thus started my bad eating day. I had some odd snacks here and there, I went to my mom's house for supper and had that, then a ice cream sandwich. Then on my drive home at 10pm I ate a granola bar that I had in my purse, then stopped and got a donut. Then when I got home I made icing to eat with a spoon! For pete's sake!
I did go on my mom's treadmill for an hour, only 30 of those running.

Definitely ate over maintenance today. Still crossing fingers that with my long run tomorrow and a hike on sunday if I can eat ok I will hopefully stay under or close to my cal goal.

Cals Eaten: 3389
 
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