Time2change journal

Hi Anne

Dont let a gain divert you from your project.

A war is a lot more than a little skirmish. A weight loss project is a lot more than a few days. We all have our ups and our downs.

Dont give up. I have been there so many times before and done that. Dont spend your life repeating my mistakes.

I am sorry that you are having a battle with SAD. Deal with it as best you can. Sit in front of a light-box. Maybe yoga would help - sometimes yoga meditation could bring welcome tranquility. I would give it a go.

Never feel self-disgust. You are a wonderful person with a health problem that you are addressing.

My advice is go to the party and be proud. I would have never gone out in the past 20 years if I had felt that I had to weigh less than 200 pounds to go. I swear - at your weight I was feeling quite thin. Company parties are normally quite civilised places to go. Your husband loves you (with whatever shape and size you happen to be). Why deny him the chance of taking out his favourite girl.

Then when you go to the next party everyone will notice how much weight you have lost.

:grouphug:

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
The sun is out this morning. Yeahhhhh! It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy today, but I can see the sun now. :)

I hopped on the scale this morning and it said 191.4. I went to the gym in the am and walked 1.5 miles and then at night I walked 2 miles. I'm planning on going this morning after I pick up my daughter from school.

I'm still iffy on going to the X-mas party. I didn't go last year, but I went 2 yrs in a row before that. It's a formal, so I have to wear something nice. I already bought a dress over the summer, but it's too big now and I don't really want to pay over $100 for a new one---especially if I plan to keep dropping weight. Also, I saw some photos of me from the last party I went to and I looked like a cow. I don't want to look like that at another x-mas party. I've never been really fat before. I gained 40 lbs in the past 6 yrs.

I've got to run pick up my daughter now. I'll be back later.

Anne
 
Hi Anne

I am pleased that the sun is out. Also that the scales are getting nearer where you were. Things seem to be beginning to look up.

Well done for going to the gym and doing the exercise. I knew that you could get back into it. It is great that you went today - it will have been easier on the days when your husband accompanied you.

Can the dress you bought be altered to fit your new shape. Sometimes a needle and thread can make a huge difference to these things.

Alternatively it may be worth you checking out the back of your wardrobe. I found a dress that I hadn't worn in 20 years to wear for my school reunion.

I hope that things continue to look up for you.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Hi Anne

Sorry you havent been feeling too good,

Im really glad the scales have dropped right down much of been a false reading!!!

I know your unsure about the christmas party but look how well you have done if the dress you got a few months ago doesnt fit you now! Well done
Is there not a dressmaker nearby who can take the dress in for you? i know many will make alterations no problem and are cheap when you compare to buying all new clothes my friend did this when she was loosing weight and refused to buy new clothes knowing they wont fit soon,
Hope you do decide to go as its always good to get out but dont go if your not really sure as you will hate every min of being there
Instead of a 10lb loss why not say a 5lb loss before the 10th??

Hope your ok
Sarah
 
I forgot to write down what I did at the gym this morning. I walked 1 mile @ 22 min and then I did my weight lifting.

Tonight, I walked my 2 miles in 44 min.

For breakfast I had:
2 clementines
For lunch I had 1/2 sub sandwich with Polish ham, lots of lettuce and red wine vinegar.
For dinner, I ate 4 clementines.

I might go find something else to eat in a little bit--maybe some leftover turkey. I had my Thanksgiving on Sat. so the turkey is still good.

Margaret---the sun was in and out today. It was a much nicer day today. It didn't rain either! My energy level was up, for sure today. I kept soaking in the sun whenever it was poking through the clouds.
Any clothes I have that are 6 yrs and older are much smaller than I am now. I was a size 10 for the longest time and that was fine with me.

Rah--Thanks for stopping in my journal.;) I could alter the dress myself---but I don't want to......I am going to feel fat in whatever I wear. ;( If I could only get rid of the double chin, I'd be happy. I bought the original dress before I realized how fat I looked...and it's a backless dress. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it because it's not something I'd wear even if I were thin. I thought I'd try to be sexy----but I can't feel sexy feeling so fat.

I'm just going to keep up with my workouts as best I can. I keep telling myself that I'm not going to really change my eating habits because if I did, once the weight comes off, I would have to keep eating and denying myself of things I like. I dont' want to live like that. I just have to stop the soda and eat regular small meals, instead of eating only once a day, like I had been doing.

Ok, thanks again for your support. ;)

Anne
 
My weight this morning was 191.0. I'll take those 4 oz. By tomorrow I'm hoping to see 190 or less would be good too...lol

I keep trying to figure out when this double chin creeped up on me. What weight was I at? I started thinking back last night because I said I gained this weight in 6 yrs---that was wrong. I gained it all within the past 4 yrs, ever since we bought this house. Oh, well.

Last night, I looked at the ymca in my area for water aerobics. Holy crap...it's expensive! I guess I'll wait until summer comes and do aerobics in my own pool for free.


I've got to leave to pick up daughter from school.

Be back later.

A.
 
Just got back from the gym. I walked my 1.5 miles @33 min. My legs hurt today. I upped my weight lifting yesterday and I could feel it today..wow. I almost stopped at one mile, but kept pushing myself.

Now I have to take daughter to school. I'll bbl.

A.
 
HI

Great job on going the gym your getting there loads! but the aches and pains you get are never good hope they go soon!

I hope you do find a dress you feel really comfortable in so you can go to the xmas do fingers crossed

Sarah
 
Thank you, Rah. :)

Maybe I'll change my mind in a couple of days about the party.


It's 7:30 here, and I'm seriously debating with myself whether to go to the gym or go to bed. My bed looks so warm and comfy---but these pounds aren't going to melt off by themselves. Grrr.......

Maybe I'll give my hubby a call and he can get me motivated to go.

A.
 
I got my tired, sleepy butt up and went to the gym. I walked my 2 miles @44 min. I called my hubby and my sister. I'm still tired, so I'm going to shower and hit the hay.

I forgot to add what I ate today.
Breakfast 2-3 clementines. can't remember how many.
Lunch: 1/2 sub sandwich with polish ham and lettuce and red wine vinegar.
Dinner: A bowl of soup beans.
Also had more clementines throughout the day. Probably 6.

I'll check in tomorrow.

A.
 
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The scale says 191.0 this morning. It's slowwwwwly coming off. I wish it would come off sooner. I didn't work this hard to put it on.:smilielol5:

I just looked at my weight yesterday and it stayed the same. I thought I had dropped a few oz.'s. Grrr....

I've got to go pick up my daughter in a few min and then I'm off to the gym.

I'll write again later.

A.
 
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Hi Anne

I am pleased that you are managing to persuade yourself to go to the gym. I dont always feel like going out walking - in fact I am leaving the house nearer 9.30 (sometimes later) whereas I was getting out about 7.30 in September. See the less inviting weather affects us all to some extent.

I always congratulate myself for bothering when I am a few minutes down the street. I know that I will not turn back once I get that far. If I was going to chicken out I would find an excuse not to leave the house.

In all honesty I am scared to death of what would happen if I didnt go out walking - I have visions of being back where I started weight-wise. It is actually easier in so many ways to keep walking and formulate a maintenance plan.

You have done very well to keep going and getting your walking in. It certainly works and your weight will melt away.

I am sure that once you get your SAD under firmer control (either by the weather improving or a solution being found that helps you deal with it better) you will regain fully your focus and be unbeatable. Remember how impressed the gym was with your level of commitment.

Your food sounds pretty good. My only concern is whether you are eating enough. There was one night when you were undecided as to whether you would have anything more (you toyed with turkey). I hope that you did as the body needs a certain amount of fuel to keep running healthily. I eat quite a lot. The last thing that you want is for your body to go into starvation mode. And you cannot expect to feel well if you are not giving your body the fuel that it needs.

So - how expensive is water aerobics (tell half a story!!!) - I checked it out but havent been. It costs £4.75 per session at our local public pool. I dont know when I would get the time to go though.

I have signed up for new classes during Jan to March at the adult education centre - 2 sessions of keep fit with aerobics and one session of yoga. They are all more expensive than the water aerobics.

You are so lucky having a swimming pool (makes me really jealous).

Maybe yoga could help your SAD. My class combines exercises with meditation and maybe both could be useful one way or another. The exercises should help to tone us as we lose weight.

If I were you I would keep my options open for the Christmas party. Things can sometimes depend on how we feel on the day. I am sure that your husband would think that you looked great in the dress with a little alteration - and he is the one whose views matter most to you.

As for your double chin - are you remembering to massage it. You would see on my photo (link on p21 of my diary) what a corker of a double chin I had and it really improved 5 days before my reunion. I know that you have to be careful with creams - but I would massage it anyway - even with nothing. I am sure that is what sorted mine out.

I think that you are doing great.:hurray: Dont worry too much about the number on the scale - as long as you are being good with your food and exercise it will happen.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
I *am* going to the gym tonight---but I didn't go this morning. After I dropped my daughter off at school, I came back home and went to bed. I slept from 12:30 until 3:30. :flame: I've only got myself to blame.

Since my husband is coming home tomorrow night, I am trying to clean the house. I've got laundry coming out of my rear and my room is a disaster. I just went through one of my drawers and found a few pairs of size 16 jeans. They all fit me. I know sometimes some brands run smaller or larger, but I was glad to see all brands of 16's fit.

On a whim, I measured myself.

Chest: 46 inches
Waist 42 inches
Hips 45 inches

I just want to keep those measurements so I can compare later on.

Margaret,
Yes, I do have to get my SAD under control. This is my 5th yr back in Michigan and it has gotten progressively worse each year. I need to make a dr. appt and get on some meds and hopefully, they will help.

As far as food goes, I know I don't eat enough. Although, going from one meal a day to three or four small meals is an improvement for me. I did go back and eat a small bit of turkey that night. And last night, I did have a bowl of cereal after dinner. I have never had a problem eating too much--or junk/sweets. My daughter made chocolate chip cookies last night and I haven't even cared to eat one of them. Ice cream sits in my freezer and it doesn't bother me in the least.

The cost of the aerobics: You have to have a membership with the ymca. That is $50-100 depending on if it's a single or a family membership. Then the cost of the class itself is like $50. I don't think so. The class is only like 2 months long and only a couple days a week. With Christmas coming up, I am gonna take a pass on the water aerobics.

All the fitness classes are at the ymca, so it would cost about the same thing. Besides, my stomach is so big, I'm not sure how much yoga I could do. lol

I think the Christmas party is out this year. I had to reschedule my daughter's teeth extraction for Dec 13. I have to be home for her. The X-mas party is in Wisconsin and that is about an 8 hour drive, so we'd have to stay overnight.

I have been massaging my double chin every day. I tell it to go away, it's not welcome here. :smilielol5:

I've got an hour before I have to leave for the gym, so I'm going to keep cleaning and make my house presentable.

Thanks for your support, Margaret, it really helps. :)

A.
 
Margaret,
I keep forgetting to tell you how great you look! I looked at your photos the other day and wow...what a transformation!!

That red dress is awesome--and you look awesome in it!!

A.
 
Hi Anne

Prioritise that doctor's appointment. If you know that there are meds that can help you - get them and feel better. Life is too short to waste a chunk of it feeling so low when it can be helped. I know that you like to look after your house, husband, daughter - but you deserve some priority here. They all get looked after better if you feel well so indirectly you help them by helping yourself.

Try to eat more of the healthy stuff. I seem to be forever having a piece of fruit or a handful of cereal. I really think that it helps to give your body a reasonable amount of decent fuel.

I can understand you being not so keen on the party when it is as far away as that. Especially with the dental appointment lined up to coincide. Next year you can go and knock their socks off when they see the new you.

Good girl for massaging your double chin. I swear that it must be what did the trick for me.

I am pleased that you like the photos. I liked the dress when I first bought it. It was when my weight was on the way up - and I think that I only wore it once - my weight shot up so quickly. I always liked the dress though and luckily didnt part with it either time we moved house this century (when I got rid of loads of my smaller sized clothes). Smaller is a comparitive term and I include my current size as being one of the smaller sizes that was purged. I was delighted to find it when I was looking through old clothes for something to wear. It is about 20 years old. In all honesty I doubt that I could have bought something that I would have preferred to wear.

It is good that you have found a load of pairs of jeans that fit. I am alternating between two leisure outfits. I am not buying any clothes until I get my size lower - I want to save my clothes money for the new me not spend it on this interim me.

The water aerobics classes that you looked at cost about the same as my keep fit and yoga classes at the adult education centre. Having said that remember that I am not paying gym membership.

Well done for planning a trip to the gym. There will be times like this morning when you intend to go but do not get for one reason or another. Forgive yourself for it and move on as you are doing.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
I just wanted to post my times real quick. Iwent to the gym tonight and walked my 2 miles, and since I didn't go today I did my weight lifting at night. I added weights too. I know I'm going to be sore tomorrow.

Ok, I'm outta here.
 
I totally forgot to write down what I ate yesterday. Now I can't remember. I know I had a 1/2 sub sandwich with ham, lettuce, provolone cheese and red wine vinegar for lunch. I had several clementines throughout the day and for dinner I had a 3/4 sub made with hard bread, lettuce, cheese, tomato, cucumber, boiled egg,1/2 tbs mayo and of course, Polish ham. It was a really great sandwich!

I don't have to pick up my oldest daughter from school today, so I'm going to take that time to keep working on my bedroom.

I'll write back later.

Edited to say: My scale read 190.6 this morning....yeaaaahhh!!

A.
 
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I went to the gym today and wow...that treadmill kicked my butt! I decided to try a program, so I punched in my age and weight and 22 min. Holy Crap! The incline started out at 3.0 for like 3 min. then 5.0, then 7.0 ! OMG... I could not do 7.0. I dropped it down to 3.0 and finished up the 22 min.
I only walked a mile. My legs were killing me from weights yesterday.

Hubby comes home tonight! I've got lots to do before he gets home. I'll write again later.

A.
 
Hi Anne

Well done at the gym. It certainly sounds like that treadmill was exhausting - especially when your legs were already tired from the weights.

My gut feel is that yesterday's food was at a better level. You need to give your body a decent amount of fuel or it thinks there is a famine and tries not to lose its fat stores.

Congratulations for the joy at the scales. :hurray: That certainly makes all the hard work worth-while.

I know that you will be busy getting the house nice for hubby's homecoming - but know how much you will enjoy having him home. It will be so good for the project too because I know that you enjoy going to the gym more when you have his company.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
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