Time to stick with it!!

chubbygirl said:
Thanks girls and you are right :) I did kick butt on that run and it felt like an accomplishment! The thing I was mad about was the fact that I don't even like plain chips and ranch dip wouldn't be my choice - I should have said no and wanted to but just didn't and didn't even enjoy the crap I was eating. Oh well it's Monday and the weekend is over!
So I have been reading in some journals today how people are commenting on their confidence improving since losing weight and I started to think about it with respect to myself and my confidence and honestly I think my confidence has declined in the last little while. While others are writing about walking with their head tall and I just noticed I am looking at the floor more when I walk. I've been walking with my head down and I don't remember doing that before. Could it be that I was comfortable with being big because I was always big and now I'm not sure where I fit in? I also feel that people are not commenting on my weight loss because maybe they are jealous and I hate that - it's making me see who real friends are or what they really care about - like maybe I had a lot of friends before because people like being friends with someone bigger than them and they feel they can relate to me and now maybe not? I don't know but it's annoying. I should be more confident but I'm not and people who I thought would say something, say nothing at all. Just a couple things bugging me today. I'll get over it - I can't wait to get to the gym, only 1 hr and 20 min left to feel the burn!
Click to expand...


Sounds to me like your not feeling good about yourself strictly b/c you haven't been told too. I believe that's called Low self esteem, and everyone on this forum suffers from it. You need to decide WHY you are on this journey. Is it b/c you want a better life, you want to be healthy, you want to look good in the mirror, or you want the people around you to tell you look good. Confidence doesn't come from other people and that is one of the major design flaws in the human brain. If your hiding behind yourself, waiting for someone to say something before you lift you head up... I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. If you start walking into the room proud of yourself and your new body... they'll take notice.

Again, your focusing on the negative. Change your view, change your life!!


marie
 
Hey CG

Sometimes I think people are scared to comment on weight because its such a personal thing. Its probably about them and not about you (people are pretty self centered..), and you are such a giving caring person they're probably used to you caring for them not the other way around.

We all think you're doing really well, and you always seem confidant and positive in your journal. Try to keep those feelings at the surface when you are out and about!

Ana
 
:iagree: what Marie and Ana said!!!

I do know what you are talking about though. I even read someone's thread in another category somewhere around this forum talking about how she had MORE confidence BEFORE she lost weight. I responded by saying that I think it's because before we decide to lose weight, we really don't "care" what people think or even "care" how much we weigh... because we are happy. Were fine, we're living, we're surviving. But now that we DO care... we feel like everyone else should too! But we can't expect people to do that for us. What we CAN expect is for US to acknowledge the change, embrace it, and flaunt it :p Are you tellin' me that you feel better walkin' around at 220 pounds as opposed to 150?! GIRLLLL you have come WAY to far to be walkin' around not feeling like you are the shit!!! CUZ YOU ARE!!!! :p

You have accomplished something very great, something the most people cannot even dream being able to do. You've got us here cheering you on and we know you are fabulous :D So hold your head up high, keep smiling, and make sure everyone knows just what you are!

You rock :coolgleamA:

~ Sarah
 
thanks girls - you always make me feel better. I hate it when I get feeling sorry for myself and such - I have come a long way. It's like I need Jillian Michaels to tell me what's wrong with me so I can get over it and really focus - I love the way she figures everyone out on that show. I have some emtional baggage I'm holding on to and I don't know why. I want to hold my head high but it just doesn't feel right - not yet anyway but I hope to get there. Having low self esteem is something I need to get over before I start reproducing because I don't want to pass it on to anyone. I think once I become more comfortable in this new body everything will start to click - I hope anyway.
I also feel really bad for my hunnie because I have had no sex drive what so ever lately - like nothing and this is really unusual! I thought when people lost weight it was supposed to increase but mine has decreased. :nopity: I just have no desires and that stinks.
Anyway yesterday was a good day, here's how it looked:
B - ff yogurt & all bran buds
Snack - 2 cups mint green tea
L - big veggie salad - cherry tomatos, snap peas, black olives, yellow pepper, cucumber, mixed greens, shredded carrot & raddish w calorie wise French dressing.
Exercise - 27 min treadmill (2.60 miles - 2 min warmup, 23 min 5.5-5.7, 2 min cool down) 1 hr 20-20-20 class - warmup, step aerobics, strength training, abs, stretch
D - celery, onion, tomato & 4oz chicken breast without skin on bone baked with marinade
Snack - 1 1/2 cups watermelon, 1 point peanut butter bar, a couple plain chips :( I was trying to calcuate how many points I ate Sunday night and there were a couple left in the bag I put in my mouth - about 3 points worth before my hunnie grabbed them from me and threw them out.
I didn't have much at dinner to fill me up so I was into snacks an hour later - we need groceries but not sure when I will get there.
I'm looking forward to spinning tonight - I need to really push it for tomorrow's weigh-in. I might push the weigh-in to Friday if I don't see what I like tomorrow morning at home because I really want to reach my goal before the 22nd! Hope everyone has a good day.
 
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There is a book called "Woman's Bodies, Woman's Wisdom", by Christiane Northrup that you NEED to read. It's like 800pages, but it's 800pages of pure gold. It's kind of like a woman's map for her body, mind and spirit. You need to get out of your head and this book will help you to do that. It's long, but a very easy read b/c it's like she's talking right to you. Go buy it... NOW :)

I love that your hunnie took the bag of chips away from you and tossed them. He's a good boy!! :)

Have a great day... and stop beating yourself up :banghead:. Your fabulous remember?!?!? :D:D:D
 
chubbygirl said:
thanks grils - you always make me feel better. I hate it when I get feeling sorry for myself and such - I have come a long way. It's like I need Jillian Michaels to tell me what's wrong with me so I can get over it and really focus - I love the way she figures everyone out on that show. I have some emtional baggage I'm holding on to and I don't know why. I want to hold my head high but it just doesn't feel right - not yet anyway but I hope to get there. Having low self esteem is something I need to get over before I start reproducing because I don't want to pass it on to anyone. I think once I become more comfortable in this new body everything will start to click - I hope anyway.
I also feel really bad for my hunnie because I have had no sex drive what so ever lately - like nothing and this is really unusual! I thought when people lost weight it was supposed to increase but mine has decreased. :nopity: I just have no desires and that stinks.
Anyway yesterday was a good day, here's how it looked:
B - ff yogurt & all bran buds
Snack - 2 cups mint green tea
L - big veggie salad - cherry tomatos, snap peas, black olives, yellow pepper, cucumber, mixed greens, shredded carrot & raddish w calorie wise French dressing.
Exercise - 27 min treadmill (2.60 miles - 2 min warmup, 23 min 5.5-5.7, 2 min cool down) 1 hr 20-20-20 class - warmup, step aerobics, strength training, abs, stretch
D - celery, onion, tomato & 4oz chicken breast without skin on bone baked with marinade
Snack - 1 1/2 cups watermelon, 1 point peanut butter bar, a couple plain chips :( I was trying to calcuate how many points I ate Sunday night and there were a couple left in the bag I put in my mouth - about 3 points worth before my hunnie grabbed them from me and threw them out.
I didn't have much at dinner to fill me up so I was into snacks an hour later - we need groceries but not sure when I will get there.
I'm looking forward to spinning tonight - I need to really push it for tomorrow's weigh-in. I might push the weigh-in to Friday if I don't see what I like tomorrow morning at home because I really want to reach my goal before the 22nd! Hope everyone has a good day.
Click to expand...

The sex drive thing will come in waves to be honest..... you would THINK you want to be naked more because you are looking way hotter... but because you are working your butt off to lose weight and your diet is ever changing... you are probably just exhausted most nights and would rather relax and let your body recover. I go through that as well.... i know how you feel!!!! BUT... makes the sex you do have WAYYYYYY hotter... let me just say hehee.

chin up girl!!!


hey! And way to go with the 5K!!! :)

Melissa
 
Hey Lisa,

I'm sorry you didn't do as good as you were hoping this weekend, I would love to kick that snacking moster's butt, hes a royal pain isn't he? I'm so glad your hunnie took your chips away from you, you should tell him to stop you anytime he sees you eating something bad. But don't worry about it because your work outs sound amazing, you must have some serious energy to do so much in one day, it is probably evening out your snacking. This weekend I tried to spread out my meals and I had dinner later then I usually do during the week since I go to bed later on the weekend and thats when I usually get myself in trouble- staying up late watching movies then that stupid snacking moster usually rears its ugly head. So this weekend instead of curling up with snacks I curled up with my late dinner and a huge salad while I watched movies so I stayed full and didn't crave anything through the movie. I also really filled up on water and tea. So on the weekend consider a late dinner and see if that helps you resist snacking. But keep up the great workouts and try your best with your meal plan, your doing great!
 
thelast20 said:
There is a book called "Woman's Bodies, Woman's Wisdom", by Christiane Northrup that you NEED to read. It's like 800pages, but it's 800pages of pure gold. It's kind of like a woman's map for her body, mind and spirit. You need to get out of your head and this book will help you to do that. It's long, but a very easy read b/c it's like she's talking right to you. Go buy it... NOW :)

I love that your hunnie took the bag of chips away from you and tossed them. He's a good boy!! :)

Have a great day... and stop beating yourself up :banghead:. Your fabulous remember?!?!? :D:D:D
Click to expand...

Thanks Marie, after reading your post I went straight to Amazon.ca and made my purchase, plus some Christmas shopping! I'm not a big reader so I'm glad you pre-warned me about the 800 pages! I look forward to it's arrival!
My hunnie is a good boy - now if only I could get him to not bring home the chips in the first place! I know I can't blame me eating them on him though - darn.
 
M_Marie said:
The sex drive thing will come in waves to be honest..... you would THINK you want to be naked more because you are looking way hotter... but because you are working your butt off to lose weight and your diet is ever changing... you are probably just exhausted most nights and would rather relax and let your body recover. I go through that as well.... i know how you feel!!!! BUT... makes the sex you do have WAYYYYYY hotter... let me just say hehee.


Melissa
Click to expand...

thanks Melissa - glad to know I'm not the only one and you are right about being exhausted after my gym time - I don't feel like getting sweaty again!
 
Janvier said:
Hey Lisa,

I'm so glad your hunnie took your chips away from you, you should tell him to stop you anytime he sees you eating something bad. But don't worry about it because your work outs sound amazing, you must have some serious energy to do so much in one day, it is probably evening out your snacking.
Click to expand...

I do tell him to stop me but sometimes I fight back, lol. I really don't have that much energy but I don't move a lot at work and my work is really laid back-most of the time, so I look forward to the exercise to get my body moving! I am happy I am maintaining after all that snacking but after all the hard work at the gym I don't want to maintain so I need to get the snacking under control. One of these days i'll be able to stick with it through the weekend.
 
Okay... do you even know how much ass you're kicking in that gym lately?! My gosh!!!! I don't even know WHY you are so focused on those petty little snacks or not meeting your goal for weigh in.... you are seriously doing AMAZING work at the gym, you should be totally proud of yourself!!! Keep it up girl!! I have a feeling you're gonna see 149 BEFORE your hunnie's birthday :D

~ Sarah
 
awwww...girl..:grouphug:..so sorry I haven't been around here to cheer you on. I'm sure you've been killin it in the gym, and I'm sure you are looking hotter and firmer and toner than ever!!! .....About the sex part,....I haven't knocked the dust off this coochie either for like 2 weeks since I've been dying sick forever it seems.!!!....Don't worry, your desire will come!!!....You will adjust, and you will see yourself soon for who you are, not who you were!!!....The new you deserves some Bootayy Boootayy rockin Everywhere!!!!!!

...Have you ever considered gettting some sexy corresettes with open bottoms, kinda like the halloween costume kind, so that you don't have to take it off during sex, and it can shape you and perk up you sexy parts and hide the parts of you that you don't like!?!!....:D!!!.....
 
Thanks Sarah and Alta - I was hoping to get some last night but after spinning I was down for the count!
So yesterday was a great day! Wish they could all be as good, here's how it looked:
Exercise - 10 min treadmill, 20 min stair master, 10 min rowing machine, ab machine & stretch
B - ff yogurt & al bran buds
Snack - 3 cups mint green tea
L - instant regular oatmeal w 1 cup raspberries, 1 pear
Snack - 2 scoops protein powder w 4 oz ff milk & 6 oz water
Exercise - 1 hr spinning class - 55 min bike, 5 min stretch
D - 3 1/2 oz salmon filet w little bit of light margarine & spices, 1 whole egg & 3 egg whites scrambled w pan spray & little bit ketchup, veggie salad - mixed greens, cucumber, red pepper, apple, black olives, shredded carrot w olive oil & balsamic vinegar.
NO SNACKS AFTER DINNER! and I didn't go to bed until 10:30pm! I was more hungry than normal this morning though so that will take some getting used to.
OK so I woke up to go to the gym this morning and after going to the washroom & brushing my teeth I got on the scale and I was still 151 so I decided to go back to bed and change weigh-in day to Friday because I really want to reach my goal this week. I was really sore and tired so I decided to wait and do the gym tonight instead of twice today. When I woke up an hour later and weighed myself I was 149.8!!! I'm still going to wait until Friday to weigh-in because by the time noon rolls around and I've had breakfast I might be back up to 151 so I am going to push hard until Friday and go then.
I was so proud I didn't snack last night - I really wanted to. My boyfriend was drinking beer and clamato - one of my favourites and I went a couple times to have a drink from his glass and reached for my water instead! He is leaving tonight and won't be back until Friday night so I think it will be good to focus on working out and not snacking after dinner the next two nights and hopefully reach my goal at weigh-in Friday! That would be so exciting!
I also realized last night that after I get into the 140's I am not going to stress as much about the weigh loss and concentrate more on strength training and toning. I have until August to reach 140 so I am going to enjoy the journey more and not stress about some snacking here and there as much. That's my plan anyway - we'll see how it goes.
Have a great day everyone! I have some work to catch up on because I've been a slacker!
 
:hurray::hurray::hurray:

Yep... I KNEW your hard work would pay off :p No doubt that Friday's weigh in you will meet your goal!!! I'm so excited for you... you're doing such an amazing job with your work outs, I can't tell you enough!!! I'm so happy for you for doing so well these last 2 weeks... I'm also happy that you are getting to the point where you are going to focus more on your strength and health because this is what is most important! And like I wrote in my journal yesterday... I can see how far I've come.... and I've come this far WITH the slip ups (snacking, drinking, etc)! Same for you! The important thing is that we have been able to keep up and keep going, pushing for what we want instead of giving up and just waiting or hoping for it.

Have a great day Lisa! I'm glad I read this post this morning... it definitely ups my mood :D

~ Sarah
 
:party: So happy for you today!! AWESOME job not snacking last night. It seems so hard at the time, but so good when you accomplish it.

LOVE your attitude this morning :) So nice to wake up to such positivity!! Keep it up, you ROCK :D:D
 
:party: Exactly, I second what they all said.....LOVE THE ATTITUDE change!!!...I think not focusing on the weight loss and focusing on the training of it all and fitness, will eventually have weight loss as a by product! ....You are ON YOUR WAY SISTA!!!!!.....We are living LIFE here remember that.....don't let this all rule you. That's the one thing I learned about being sick. When we obsess I think that's why we stump!...Great job, and 140 here you come!!!....

Why don't you start taking measurements? I'm sure everything on you is shifting nicely into some great areas!! I'd love to see your sizes and I think it will serve you well as a measuring tool!! :D!!!! Have a great day!!!!
 
Thanks girls, I do feel like I have a new attitude today and it feels great. I even noticed myself walking with my head higher around the office - baby steps.
Sarah - your posts always make my moods better in the morning! I love that you did 4 miles on the treadmill while having a sore throat! That is motivating right there!
Alta you are right about living life - I need to do this more instead of just going through the motions. I have taken measurements along the way so if I remember to bring them to work I will post them tomorrow - one accomplishment I know I have made in this area is being under 40 inches everywhere! More on that when I have the measurements.
Marie - it did feel so good when I walked up to bed and passed the kitchen without stopping - as soon as I got in bed I heard my hunnie open the fridge and I usually yell down - "what are you having, I want some!" and instead I just rolled over and went to bed! I am going to try and keep this up tonight and Thursday - I am not even going to try and not snack on the weekend evenings because I know that is not possible and frankly not fun - just a goal for the week nights!
Thanks girls for your support - it is helping a ton! I always think about you when away from the computer at night - almost makes me want to get a computer but then I know I will be fighting my hunnie for it - he loves to watch hockey fights and is a little obsessed, last time we had one I couldn't get him away from it! So better off without it for now.
Take care xoxo
 
Ok so yesterday could have been better but I'm not getting down about it. I planned to go to the gym in the morning and didn't. I planned to go to the gym after work and didn't. And then I planned to do some exercises at home and didn't. I planned to not have any snacks after dinner and I didn't do that either so in other words I went off plan and that is never great.
Here's how it went:
B - ff yogurt & all bran buds
Snack - 2 cups mint green tea
L - big veggie salad, same as night before's dinner with ff dressing
Snack - 1/2 cup pickled onions
D - Life Smart brand chicken primivara frozen meal
Snacks - crackers w PB & jam, 1/2 mini watermelon, left over plain chips, 4 slices hot genoa - I know it's so bad but so good!
I hung out with my boyfriend after work until he had to catch a plane and then just felt like going home and sitting on the couch. I was tired and didn't feel like cooking and I didn't have any groceries so I made that frozen dinner and it really didn't satisfy me so I just kept snacking mindlessly all night. I kept saying to myself "ok get off the couch and do something to burn those calories" but it didn't happen.
I couldn't fall asleep like I normally do and just when I did around midnight our cat (well it's actually my bf's but I have to love it now - and do most of the time) started screaming - like screaming like you have never heard before! It was intense and freaked me right out - I was too scared to go downstairs and see what was happening because I imagined going down and seeing him having a heart attack or something and not being able to help him and not knowing what to do so I just waited upstairs and listened to it - it was so awful and I'm sure the neighbours heard it too! After about 15 min it stopped and my heart was racing so fast - I just sat up in bed listening to see if I could hear him moving around and I didn't and just kept thinking how I was going to tell my hunnie and how sad he was going to be and not knowing what to do with the cat. I woke up this morning and walked downstairs slowly and heard him meow and walked around the corner and there he was fine. Rubbing up against me for food like nothing happened. I looked around for puke or signs of what could have been happening and seen nothing. I called my hunnie this morning and he said he does that sometimes if he sees another cat outside and I couldn't believe it was all that noise over another fricken cat. Oh well I was so happy he wasn't dead - that would have been awful!
Anyway today I am going to try and be good and plan on going to spinning tonight - I also really need to get some groceries so last night isn't repeated.
Have a great day everyone!
 
Oh and I took some measurements this morning. The last ones I could find where back from April 2006
April 2006 Today
Arm - 14 12
Wrist - 6.25 6
Chest - 40 35
Natural Waist - 37 29
Belly Button - 43.5 34
Hips - 45.5 38
Thigh - 25 22
Calf - 15.75 14.5
Weight 182 151

So it's taken a while but I'm getting there! I'm pretty happy with those numbers and never going back!
 
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