This Time Imperfect.

Definitely didn't had a good workout today.

So far I've gotten a 35 min walk and for my workout I could only do a couple of strength exercises. I'm kind of lethargic today and not really motivated.

I've noticed that I really need to put an effort to start the day properly if I want to finish properly in the first place. If I get distracted I can screw up the entire day.

Still need to do 10 mins of cardio. It's gonna be 10 mins of moderate-intensity steady-state. That's gonna be pretty much it for me today. Don't really want to do anything.

I'm kind of hungry too. What happens when I feel lethargic is that I generally just want to sit down and EAT! But I can't do that

Still I shouldn't be going over my calories today unless something goes horribly wrong.

Tomorrow will be another day and I'll try to do better then.
 
Thanks Q. I'm really trying to focus on adherence to my plan at this point. If I happen to fail (I hope not) I'll just get back up and try again.

--

I completed my 10 mins of cardio and that concludes today for me. It wasn't a particularly productive day and it was pretty much a grind. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

2063 Kcal;
201g of carbs.
164g of protein.
67g of fat.

Drank way more water and liquids than usual and spent my last 500 calories on 300 grams of chicken and some oranges so I wouldn't be hungry. Seems to have worked!

Tomorrow's my weight day. I'm two weeks in (I believe), so I may (or may not) have to make a few adjustments based on that number. We'll see. If anything, it won't be anything too serious and maybe bumping cardio a little bit. Really don't want to mess with calories as I'm struggling to keep up even on the 2000 - 2200 range.
 
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I think it´s great that you stick to a healthy plan even on bad days. That´s what will help you get to your goals AND stay there!
 
I will say that starting my 90 days challenge and making it my mission not to screw this up has really helped. I would have probably over-eaten and missed workouts on a couple of instances already if it wasn't for that.

--

Official weight day... I'm still at 73.9 Kg.

So this is a total weight loss of 1.5 Kg for this two weeks. 1.2 Kg for week 1, and only .3 for week two.

I was expecting the first week loss to be higher than the actual amount, but DAMN! 4 times more?

As I already said, weeks 2 and 3 are the most important and when I need to start making adjustments. This isn't really good feedback, so I gotta get more serious this week.

So the first change is gonna be to keep calories in check. I will continue on the 2000 - 2200 range, but try to aim for the lower end unless it's strictly necessary for me to go up.

Minimum daily walking goes from 35 min to > 45 min and minimum daily cardio goes from 10 to > 15 min.

So my program for the time being is gonna be the following;

Calories: 2000 - 2200 (or a bit less).

Staples: Walk for 45 min and do at least 15 min of cardio each day.

Monday: Strength training.
Tuesday: Intervals. (I will not count them as cardio, so 10 intervals + whatever my minimum cardio is)
Wednesday: Strength training.
Thursday: 20 min dedicated cardio session + staples. (Same applies here. The cardio session will not count towards my minimum cardio. So it will be 20 mins + whatever the minimum is.)
Friday: Strength training.
Saturday: Conditioning work (Same stuff I did last Saturday. Basically cardio at the highest intensity I can sustain for a set period of time).
Sunday: Rest day. (Only the staples here).

I took some pictures today which will be my 'official' 'before' pics. I really don't have anything from last year or even previous to this, since I always deleted all the 'before' pics I ever tried to take.
 
Update for today;

Weight 73.9 Kg / 162 lbs. 'Grand' loss of .3 kg for the week. (Goddamit!)

2107 Kcal;
154g of carbs.
150g of protein.
99g of fat.

45 min walk.
30 min moderate-intensity SS cardio.
 
A loss is a loss, congratulations. Since you´re not overweight (judging from your pics) slower loss is quite normal and since the loss I hear quoted as ideal most often is about a pound a week you´re doing great!
 
Thanks LaMa. But I still see myself as overweight based on body fat %. :/ I will have to go very low to lose that damn fat. But this time i'm trying to do it in a more sensible way.

I weighed myself 4 times today. first two were 73.9 and the other two. 73.6 It was 4 times on a row ( no time frame in between) so I'm not sure which one is it.

Really not having good performances lately. I'll be on bed at 10pm today and do what I can to keep bad days to a minimum.

Today's update;

45 min walk.
No strenght training.
No cardio either. :(

1962 Kcal.
299g carbs.
97g protein.
42g fat.

I will see if I can fit my strength training tomorrow. If I do it early in the day I can do a cardio/conditioning session later in the evening.
 
I don´t want to know what devils are haunting you when you step on the scale four times in a row :( Sorry to hear you´re feeling down, hope sleep will help (it usually does for me).
 
I almost forgot about it, but on August 8 it was my 1 year anniversary since I started a serious weight loss. I weighed 76.0 Kg that day (I was lucky that my weight day for the august challenge was on the 8, because I would have forgotten otherwise), so that is a weight loss of 26.6 Kg (58 lbs) for that year.

That is almost an average of 1 lb / week, but I did a lot of silly stuff, so I had a couple periods with very fast weight loss, and a lot of periods either maintaining or going up and down with weight. This goes to show how important consistency really is, because I would have gotten the same results if I had lost 1 lb / week (or better if it was more than that) and would have saved a lot of headache along the way.

Still a bit overweight, but I'm trying to be a bit more flexible about things instead of having an all or nothing mindset. I'm determined to reach my goal, so for me it's only a question of 'when'.

You'll hear from me again once I'm there! :)
 
I would have gotten the same results if I had lost 1 lb / week (or better if it was more than that) and would have saved a lot of headache along the way.
I think I need to write that on my mirror, but still: Congratulations on losing 26.6 kg!
 
As of lately I haven't been explicitly dieting, but I've trying to moderate what I eat and not go on crazy binges that destroy my progress.

I've been quite interested on Dr John Mcdougall work (even when I was trying all sorts of crazy diets! :biggrinjester: ), and eventually I changed my own diet to what his recommendations are, which means it's a low-fat starch-based vegan diet. The diet should be something like 70 % starch / 20 % vegetables and / 10 % fruit.

I really don't mind the change and since I think my health is best suited here I'm pretty happy with it :) I should also mention that this is a diet made by an actual doctor with an actual base on history / science and not some fad diet made by some lunatic with a blog. :leaving:

--

I haven't really had a schedule for exercise either. I did some stuff but nothing that was scheduled or consistent. So it has been almost a month (July 18) since I had an actual schedule but I'm trying to organize myself a bit again.

Lately, I seem to get particularly depressed at night, which, well, it sucks. I've been on kind of an emotional roller coaster which I need to get under control. This means trying not to obsess about stuff and add unnecessary stress, NOT eating junk (I have an horrible pattern with binging and then getting horribly sad), and just generally trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

I've trying to put an emphasis on cardio / aerobic work and doing it outside to help me with mood a bit. As for having an schedule I outlined the following;

MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday
AMUpper body + 40 min tempo workLower body90 min Aerobic work (low - moderate intensity)Upper body + 40 min tempo workLower body30 min Sweet spot trainingoff
PM30 min recovery work.Ab workOff30 min recovery work.Ab workoffoff

So for upper and lower body I do 20 sets of different exercises, with about 1 of rest between every set. I have gotten a pull up bar and found some old dumbbells, so it's a mix of bodyweight stuff and isolation stuff.

'Tempo' work is essentially moderate intensity steady state (MISS) cardio. 'Recovery' work is supposed to be veeeery easy cardio (almost no effort at all). On wednesday it's just anything that is aerobic. It's not quite as hard as MISS, and the idea is to go at a pace sustainable for 90 min. Sweet spot is essentially SS cardio but at a high intensity. When I do it, I'll have to divide it on 1 set of 20 mins > take a little break > another set of 10 mins.

This is only an outline though. In the practice It might be a little different. Today (Thursday) I could only do 15 sets for upper body before I was worn down. I could do the cardio (both sessions) fine.

The harder days are Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. The two upper body days are easier but have more volume. Saturday will be the hardest, I think (I started this a few days ago, so I haven't been 1 full week on it yet).

--

I realize I really have a problem with ruminating [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumination_(psychology)] (I now know the term for this!). Or, in my case at least, I tend to 'obsess' over something and think about it all the time (specially at night!!!!) I did it as a young boy when I played video-games, I did it later with diet and nutrition / training stuff and of lately I did it with philosophy (particularly nihilism) and death. Which is, in my opinion, by far the most depressing of the three, since there's no damn thing I can do about it and with my tendency to over analyze things I just feel hopeless whenever I start thinking about the stuff (which happens at least once a day, mind you)

This is pretty much my biggest problem right now. I bring myself down out of nowhere, just by thinking about stuff. I can be pretty happy one second and out of nowhere I'll get sad because I started thinking about this stuff.
 
Lately, I seem to get particularly depressed at night, which, well, it sucks. I've been on kind of an emotional roller coaster which I need to get under control. This means trying not to obsess about stuff and add unnecessary stress, NOT eating junk (I have an horrible pattern with binging and then getting horribly sad), and just generally trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

QUOTE]

I know what you mean AR. I've been beating myself up the past few weeks with personal issues and been pretty depressed. It really makes it hard to workout with my mind going in the wrong direction.
 
Stress, anxiety and other issues really do make it a lot harder. I was underestimating the role those things can have until now. It doesn't make it better that I constantly stress trying to 'optimize' my training and diet.

I think I need to simplify at this point. Pick something very simple and straight-forward, and that is 100% fool-proof, so I don't have to think about it.

My priorities have changed a little at the moment. I really need to deal with stress and sort some stuff, so diet and weight loss are taking a second place for me, at least for the moment.
 
I really like this speech given by David Foster Wallace. 'Learning' how to think is something that I find particularly relevant to me at the moment, and it's something I have to keep reminding myself of daily.

[video=youtube;8CrOL-ydFMI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI[/video]

Here's a transcript of the same speech;




I can't quite resume the whole speech here, but these are the parts I like. (and I hope the quotes make sense for everybody else that isn't me)

(There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?")

[]

The point of the fish story is merely that the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude, but the fact is that in the day to day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have a life or death importance, or so I wish to suggest to you on this dry and lovely morning.

[]

The really significant education in thinking that we're supposed to get in a place like this isn't really about the capacity to think, but rather about the choice of what to think about. If your total freedom of choice regarding what to think about seems too obvious to waste time discussing, I'd ask you to think about fish and water, and to bracket, for just a few minutes, your skepticism about the value of the totally obvious.

The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you will, too.

[]

Please don't worry that I'm getting ready to lecture you about compassion or other-directedness or all the so-called "virtues." This is not a matter of virtue. It's a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self. People who can adjust their natural default setting this way are often described as being "well-adjusted", which I suggest to you is not an accidental term.

Given the triumphant academic setting here, an obvious question is how much of this work of adjusting our default setting involves actual knowledge or intellect. This question gets very tricky. Probably the most dangerous thing about an academic education -- least in my own case -- is that it enables my tendency to over-intellectualize stuff, to get lost in abstract argument inside my head, instead of simply paying attention to what is going on right in front of me, paying attention to what is going on inside me.

As I'm sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head. "learning how to think" really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.That may sound like hyperbole, or abstract nonsense. Let's get concrete. The plain fact is that you graduating seniors do not yet have any clue what "day in, day out" really means. There happen to be whole, large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration. The parents and older folks here will know all too well what I'm talking about.

Think of the old cliché about "the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master." This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth. It is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms almost always shoot themselves in: the head. They shoot the terrible master. And the truth is that most of these suicides are actually dead long before they pull the trigger.

And I submit that this is what the real, no bullshit value of your [] education is supposed to be about: how to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone day in and day out.

[]

It just depends what you want to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting,then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.

Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it.

This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you.

On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness. Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out.


But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings. They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing.

And the so-called "real world" will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the "rat race," the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

I know that this stuff probably doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational the way a commencement speech is supposed to sound. What it is, as far as I can see, is the capital-T Truth, with a whole lot of rhetorical niceties stripped away. You are, of course, free to think of it whatever you wish. But please don't just dismiss it as just some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon. None of this stuff is really about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death.

The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe even 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

"This is water."

"This is water."
 
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So I've been trying to figure out what has been my major issue trying to lose weight (or what the underlying cause of my weight was) and I think it is an issue with emotional eating and/or binging. I though I had gotten over this stuff, but looking back, it is a pattern that has repeated over and over in the last months and it is a problem.

I need to deal with the emotional / comfort eating and that should solve the issue of binging (you don't overeat, and much less binge, if you have no attachment to food).

Weight loss is really as simple as eating less and moving more, but I have come to think the psychological side is a lot more important. We all got overweight / obese for a reason. And it's that underlying issue that we have to deal with.

I have also come to think (this is pure speculation though) that THIS is the real reason of why most dieters fail in the long term. The weight loss part is very easy, but if you don't get around on fixing what got you fat on the first place, your gonna have a very hard time losing the weight, and a hell of a time trying to maintain that.

So my number 1 priority right now is to fix that issue. I will most likely lose weight in the process of doing that, but fixing the issue has to be the priority. Weight loss is easy once you have no issue with food.

On another note, I also need to learn to deal with stress, I think. I think taking up meditation might help. I'll have to really put up an effort and make it a habit. That could help me quite a bit, actually, so I really want to do it.
 
On another note; I found this british tv show on Youtube the other day and I love it! It's called Supersize vs Superskinny. You won't get any good weight loss tips from it, but it's kind of fun to watch, specially if you're trying to shed some weight yourself. :)

[video=youtube;B0xsbfRXpf4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0xsbfRXpf4[/video]



I've watched most episodes (not all) from season 5, and I'm almost done with season 1. I think season 1 was better than season 5 (haven't watched other seasons) on some aspects but I'm SO glad that on season 5 they removed the stupid segments they had on season 1 (particularly the one with the blonde woman, and the other girl that was trying fad diets).
 
... Hello Athala :) You've done so, so well since last I've been on here, really proud of you. Not sure how to reintroduce myself but I know I'm making a new diary and trying harder this time. I watch that show sometimes ^^ :)
 
Very very wise of you Athala, I think you are correct there is an underlying issue why we become overweight. I think that in many ways when there is an emotion that we don't want to feel or something that we don't want to think about, that food/eating is a way to block out those things.

It can be very frustrating to know this, to know what over eating can do to us....yet we do it.

I'm very impressed with the way that you are addressing this issue!

Be well!
JadeLynn
 
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