The road to loving myself!!!

Verobc1

Verobc1

New member
Good Evening

My name is Véronique but most people call me Vero, I am a married mother of two and would love to blame the pregnancy for my weight loss, but can't my baby is 5 that is more then enough time to loose the weight. It is harder to get in shape after a few kids, your body doesn't react the way it used to, you are tired a lot of the time (that could also be the extra weight) and you have way less time for yourself. Still they are not the ones putting the food in my mouth they don't even buy the food I do. The thing is I spend so much time just hating everything about my boday and dreaming of waking up to look like an actress or a model, but I have to be realistic that ain't happening. How can I have success if I hate myself. I am at the lowest I have ever been, I can hardly look at myself in a miror to do my hair, I need to start taking care of me to bring up my self confidence, I applied for a lot of job, and when I get a review of my interviews I always get the same comment your expérience is impressive but you need more self confidence. I think that if I work on my body issue and don't fix the immotional I will just regained the weigh...that is why I am stuck at around 199 -201lb have been since January and I am so tired of bein stuck in this rut....I am in a bad mood a lot, I have constent headach and some days I can't stop eating at all, I eat everything in sight. I bet that makes whom ever read up to here more huh. I have plan.... we bought an xbox one and with it the Zumba World Party....I like to dance so I should be able to stick with this. I will also watch what I eat. at a 80% of the time I will eat home made real food, no diet processed crap cause it taste bad and I don't beleive chemicals belong inside me, I don't judge people who use those product they just aren't for me.

I weighted in this morning at 199lb

Food today

Coffee 2 cream 1/2 surgar)

breakfast sandwich (egg, real cheddar (1 tiny slice less then an ounce) whole wheat english muffin


a home made veggie burger for lunch ( black beans, spinach, carrots, garlic cummin, crushed sunflower seeds to replace flour)
wrap in lettuce

Dinner
I don't have a clue what I will eat....I cooked red meat wich I don't eat (not a diet thing I just hate it) so I will most likely have a salad a juice cause I am not that hungry.

May 1 st 199lb

on May 29 my goal is to be 191lb....I think that is a healthy amount of weigh, I plan to do Zumba 20 min 4 times a week starting tommorow cause I have to set up the x box.......

In this journal I will rant a lot cause my husband tends to not listen when I get emotiional and I then eat my feelings.....I also have access to a threadmill but in my tiny living room it take a lot of work to set it up very time consuming and I am short on time, but once I am more in shape I would like to sign up for a run a 10k to get that feeling of completing something. This time I can't give up....I owe it to me and my kids and husband, I need to feel good....and also this time I am not setting a final goal weight I know I need to get below 140 to have a healthy BMI afther that I just go with feeling good!!!
 
Hey sorry for the long stay away from the forum. I have been busy visiting houses and applying for jobs trying to complete my course....and stay on strack....wich I mostly have done. I did eat poutine once this week but considering all the other bad choices I could have done I say I did good....we will see what the scale has to say on thursday. Finally got the xbox set up correctly so that kinect works so will start the dancing soon like this afternoon.


I will back to update later I have to finish getting ready for a job interview :) wish me luck I need this!
 
Hello....

To all the people on here.....video games can be dangerous!!! I was dancing away really into my Zumba class and I made a move and hit the wall with my wrist, thought I had broken it but after x rays no not broken...but in a lot of pain. I will take up the Zumba again on monday but I will have to concentrate not only on the movement but where I am standing lol! I have eaten good for the last two week not great but good I did buy some packaged food . Job interview didnt go well and I decided to have a pity party....really got to stop dealing with stress by eatingcrappy foods!!! I cannot change what is done I must move forward....weight in will be next thursday since TOM as arrived and I don't weight myself during that time.

Thank you for the welcom amber!!

food today

woke up late so breakfast and lunch are
coffee 2 cr 1/2 sug
english muffin (egg, real cheese, english muffin)

diner
we are cleaning the bbq so chicken wth a ceasar (no bacon) salad
4 oz of white wine ....this will count as desert

if I get hungry I will have 1 cup of mix frozen fruits (mango and cherries)
 
Hello

I don't get to log on alot ...I am trying to stay busy....the weight loss not going too well! I weighted at 202.5 this morning, I will have to start comming on here every morning and write down what I eat cause I didn't eat loads of junkand I drank lots of water so I don't know where the extra 3lb come from but it's gotta go....all my summer clothes feel very tight I haven't really done the Zumba thing...can't wait to be in our own home I can't really do Zumba in the daytime the hairdresser will complain and the landlord is her dad. I think I need to acheive something in 2012 I started an administrative assistante programme, weighloss and permanent job search, I havent accomplished anything, I am stuck in a rut and that leads to my emotional state wich makes me over eat and then makes me gain weight and hate myself, not a great place I am in....so the plan is to continue to eat real foods and check my portion size, I will walk to got get the mail everyday rain or shine (the post office is at the other end of town not just at the end of my driveway lol) That should help the weight loss, I will also finish my course I am 80% done I now have a working pc and internet connection at home so no more excuses, the job thing may be help with the completion of my course, I am planning to take a business french class in September cause really even if french is my first language I suck at it and all jobs I apply for seem to make me take a french test. This is my plan. I will do Zumba cause I like it but since I can't do it as much as I want I will have to reply on walking and hopefully next winter we are in our home!!!

food today

breakfast
coffee
1/2 a 12 grain bagel
1tsp of butter
one bananna

snack
coffee
grapes

lunch
a spinach salad with feta cheese 2 ounces
(spinach, red oignion, red pepper, cucumber, feta)
2 tbsp of italian dressing

diner

veggie burger
1 cup of cesar salad (no bacon)
 
Hey I made it on here two days in a row!!

change of plan last night ended having creamy chicken linguini about 1 cup (cause that is no diet food)
with the ceasar salad and 3 glases of wine.....hubby and I decided to wait till the kids where in bed to have diner kind of a celebration next tuesday will be our 8 wedding anniversary! I consumed way to many calories, but usually when I drink I eat chips and cheese on crakers and I did munch on anything and didn't have desert.

food today

Brunch
2 cups of coffee
3 egg (one yolk the other just the white) cheese omellette with two slices of chicken bacon and two lightly buttered toast

diner will be spinach feta salad with some chick peas for added protein and fiber!!

I am also drinking a lot of water not hung over but almost....

Hubby downloaded a phitness game on the x box and it had MMA training thing that I tried this morning it was fun and exausting couldn't quite do the full 30 min I had to stop to catch my breath and strech a bit...but I am planning on doing it again to heck with the hairdresser in the basement....I need to think about my health and we won't be living here much longer. We found the hosue we want to buy in the right price range and in a small town that isn't too far from my husbands work...now I just need to find a job so we can make an offer. In other news I dove back into my course yesterday and I have 4 graded project and one exam left and I will get my certificat!!! I am feeling optimistic, I am hoping it stays cause I really need the extra energy that I have and I am hoping that by my next weight in I will be under 200lb even if it 199.8 I will be happy with that!!!
 
hey Veronique just stopping in to say hi :) will come back in a bit to catch up on things. So good to see u!
 
Hi again Veronique :) I had no idea that French was your first language:) It is also my husband's first language and I am no good with it lol all i can say is "A la votre" or "A votre sante" and "enchente du faire votre conoissance" lololol oh also chercher la bonne phrase...i got that from the teach yourself tapes i was trying to learn French with haha. I am so happy you are back and unfortunately I can relate to how you have been feeling. I feel so much more in control and so much better since going back vegan but just a couple of weeks ago i was feeling so stuck and defeated and my weight kept climbing. I went down to 250 in October of last year and was 294.6 just a couple weeks ago. There are two things you said that i feel bad about 1) that you have to vent here because your husband won't listen when u get too emotional. That is so hurtful ad I can relate to the pain because my husband is the same way but only when it is directed towards him...like if we are in conflict. I just wanted to congratulate you in finding an outlet and don't let it make you feel as if what you are saying, feeling, and experiencing is invaluable, you are important and deserve to be heard. I am not saying this to indicate he is a bad person because i love my husband also even though he does this...and i know he loves me it is just that people handle things differently and some people just have a difficult time handling negative emotions. He is getting better at it though..i try to talk to him when i am calm to let him know how i feel and he is being more empathetic. 2)it bothers me that your lack of confidence is coming through in your interviews. Even if in EVERYTHING ELSE you have doubt you have to know that you know your work and you are the best at what you do! Be sure not to coach yourself in a negative way before interviews...just think Hey I know this stuff, I am the best candidate for the job, I am an excellent person and I have a good heart. I WILL GET THIS JOB lol. If I as a stranger can see that in you, another stranger can as well. I really commend you for getting back on track...this is a big step. I think I will be around for the long haul this time because I finally found a lifestyle that i can stick to so I look forward to being here through your journey. Congratulations on ur certification progress and sticking with the diet. You are AWESOME!
 
Hi Vero!

I've been away for a bit myself, but sounds like you are back on a good track! Buying a house is definitely motivation. Until then, I agree with the "screw the hairdresser" your health IS more important. Congrats on almost being done with your certificate! What is it for again?

I too need to get back to drinking more water. It can be hard though! Tea and pop taste better...

It sucks that you can't vent to your hubby, but I guess some people are just like that. Just know we are hear and will listen and help where we can :)

I HATE interviews. I hate having to look perfect and sell myself to a complete stranger for a job. I think the key is to research the company and the job and know that you can do whatever you set your mind to (which I know you can). It is easier said than done, I know this, but it's still true. Knowing what you are getting into, and knowing what is expected of the person in the position you are applying for will help you be more confident because you will feel more prepared. Try to research general interview questions - both for what they could ask you and for good questions to ask them. Know your skills and what you are good at, along with examples to prove it from your past work experiences. I know it sucks, but it will be worth it when you find the right job and company to work for.

GOOD LUCK!
 
Hello

Xe happy to see you on here!!!

Can't vent with the husband....last year was a very bad year for the hubby, he stood out in the freezing cold watching his work place go up in flame...while I was trying to find him in a croud. We had to fight to get money to replace his wedding band It was in his locker) For close to a month we where both unemployed, then he had to start driving 4 hours a day to get back to and from work still going on since they are still in the rebuilding mode, ...While travelling he witnessed an accident where a man died while looking at him right in the eyes,and finally a good friend of his from work commited suicide. I don't want people on here thinking he is an ass....he isn't last year was bad and he got help and is doing much better I just think he needs time to get stronger before I can vent.... Intervews...I used to be so good at them....I think the difference between then and now isn't just my weight, I used to apply for the easy almost same no challenge job and I was always employed so if I didn't get the job I still had the one I had even if I hated it. Then I took a job failed miserably (customer service , order desk not for me) and then decided enough with receptionist type jobs I want more. So for the last 5 years I have been working in school or the school board on contracts loving everyone of em but the contracts come to an end and interviews witht the board are few cause inside people always have the upper hand even if they are less qualified (gotta love the union) I guess I feel defeated even before I walk into the interview and my confidence in my skills inst comming through. Also they want more the a high school diploma wich is why I have to complete my course....almost there!!! Once I accomplish the certificat I will be feeling more accomplish I guess.. Thank you for your kind words and stopping by!!!

Hey Icy

I am studying to have administrative assistant certificat, then I hopefully will have a better time in an interviews.....just have to face that there will be no job with out an interview it isn't possible!


I have been away from the site not cause I wanted to but because I was busy working on my course handed in my drafts I am watting on those before completing my project and then take the final exam!!!! so when the kids are home for the summer I am not working on that!!! Eating has not been super basically I was out of moeny for groceries so we had to eat canned stuff and packaged stuff wich taste like crap and isn't good for me but we gotta do what we can until I work! At least hubbys job covers the rent and bills usually my pay covers food and daycare and the rest into saving wich we don't want to touch that is for the house .....but veggies are starting to come on sale so I can try and stick to my plan a lot more. weighted in a 204 lst friday it was very hummid and tom will start soon also packaged food has lot of sodium and I am sure at least a bit of it was actuall weight gaine.

as for exercise it is so hard to get into the programe when the idiot downstairs is knocking at your door and if I don't answer she let herself in......Things will get better soon they just have too!

food this week

Monday
breakfast

cheese and toast
coffee

lunch
spinach strawberry salad


diner
veggie burger


tuesday

egg white cheese omelette
coffee

spinach strawberry salad
ice cream ( was so hot in the house)

hot chicken poutine :( (bad choice)

wednesday

cheese toast
coffee

spinach feta salad

mushroom chicken with salad

tommorow

egg white veggies omelette
coffee

spinach salad

chicken taco salad

friday

veggie omellette
coffee

spinach strawberry salad

creamy linguine chicken
4oz of white wine.

I shoudl be back on here at some pointe to update !!!! take care!
 
Can stay long kids are home today....it's 10 and I am already so exausted!!! How do they get so much energy!!! I weight in this morning at 202.8 so that is 2 lb lower then last week and Tom still hasn't started so looks like I am doing great!! the mushroom chicken the other night was to die for.....so easy to make and the only ingredients are chicken with skin no bones mushrooms 1/2 tbsp of butter water salt pepper so easy to make and packed with flavor!!! off to the park with the kids before my house is destroyed!!!
 
Good morning!!

I had a great weekend stayed outdoor most of the time, weather was so beautiful...and we finally have the ac going so we have good night sleeps too!

I was supposed to have an interview today but that was postponed.....hopefully something better comes along that one was for a contract i would rather have steady reg job even if it pays a little less you know....

here is the meal plan for today

egg with cheese and 1 toast
coffeee

lunch
chicken salad
strawberries


diner
I am looking for a familly pleasing recepies...these are rare!
 
Good Morning!!

Well I stuck to my plan yesterday and ended up eating a salad for diner as well...it'S so hot (not complaning) that it's all I feel like making but the kids are not all that jazzed about the prospect of eating salad my daughter will have a bowl but I made them cooked chicken nugets...) basically I cup up chicken nuggets and make batter (this time I used flas and sunflower seeds with the flour just to make it healthier) dipped my chicken in milk and eggs then in the flour and then I fry it in coconut oil for a min then bake it in the oven.


today on the menu

breakfast
cereal bar
coffee
frozen cherries and mangoes


lunch
strawberry spinach salad

diner
legume salad


Liek I said with the heat all I want is fresh cool salads....hopefully that registeres on the scale...also by friday TOM will be over so I would love to see like 199 even if it is .9 under 200 and hopefully I am there to stay!

I have a very low energy level... went to the doctors to get blood test and my Iron and vitamine B are right where they should be , I cut down on artificiall sugar a lot, not completely but a lot I still eat bread but not in huge quantities and it is always the full grain varities never bleach flower I like flax and sunflower seed bread it's heavy and very filling. I want to exercise but I wake up in the morning and I am not refreshed but exausted....I sleep well I got to bed at around 10:30 pm and wake up at around 7 so that should be more then enough....any suggestion on how to get more energy so that I can actually get a workout done and not feel dead....also not just for workdouts cleaning my house is just awful....help!
 
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Hi Verobc!

I find that whenever I make significant changes in diet and/or exercise that there is an adjustment period when I feel bad. Weak, low energy, and cranky or depressed. The bigger the change the worse it is. I also find that if I stick with it even when I'm miserable that I feel way better once I adjust. My hope is that is what is going on with you. Just stick to the plan and hopefully you will be feeling great soon.

Also the added stress of kids and job searching make it tougher. Hang in there!
 
Hi Quercus I am hoping you are right.....I was thinking it is my body adjusting to less sugar, hopefully this will end soon cause summer time is here and kids will be home all day!

Ginger....I don't want to have a tasty desert cause once I am off the wagon it is so hard to get back on....and also I live in the middle of nowhere it a 15 min drive to get to the nearest Tim Hortons, or Mc Donalds even further then that to a cafe.....but I think getting out of the house and out in the world ain't a bad idee.

I am off to get the mail wich mean a 1.5 to 2 km walk each way......Thank you for stopping by!!!
 
Good Morning!

Last night was a hard night.....really hard, I had a monster craving for mint choc chip icecream.....I wanted it so bad!

I had none in the house and we go the the store once a week I preplan my meals saves a lot on groceries nothing goes to waste and I try to plan my meals around the sales....so that helps but i would have walked 10 miles for that Ice cream...instead I log on here and read some diaries...then I had 1/2 a cup of frozen cherries and mangoes


breakfast

Egg cheese on one toast
coffee


strawberry spinach salad

diner
Greek chicken home cooked and I will skip the potatoes and just have 1/2 a cup of whole wheat rice and of course greek salad.
 
Ok time to take measurements!!!

June 10 2014

Bust 46

under the bust 38 1/2


waist 44 1/2

hips 48

thigh 39

upparms 15


I will try and take measurment again on august 10 in two months I am hoping to see a difference!!!
 
You go girl! Planning really is half there is to losing weight. Every time you beat a craving you become stronger and less likely to give in next time.
 
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