The Road to Fabulousness - Chika's diary.
- Thread starter Fat to Fabulous
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Fat to Fabulous
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Thanks honey! I know. I've shed the tears though now and its onwards and upwards. How are you doing?
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Dear Diary...
Thanks everyone for all your support over the past week. I've been a bit mardy for obviousl reasons but all is better now. I think it gave me the kick up the ass I needed to really get serious about eating right.
The past couple of days I've been doing quite well. Scrambled eggs for breakfast with grilled tomatoes and mushrooms (divine). Biiig chicken/turkey or cottage cheese salad for lunch and roasted vegetables with a lean meat for dinner. Combined with lots of fruit to snack on and loads of nuts washed down with water I feel really really good and positive.
Does anyone else think that crap food is addictive? I mean there is obviously something in it that makes people want it but when I eat processed unhealthy stuff I crave it. I have to go cold turkey for a week or so to lose the cravings. Are the manufacturers putting crack in the food or something?!
Last night I went out to celebrate the end of the university year (thank God!) Started out well but had a couple too many drinks, mostly vodka or bacardi and diet coke. However there was lots of dancing so I've hopefully not done too much damage.
Also *excitedly jumping about on chair* when I got to the club there was this HOT man there, he caught me looking and smile, I smiled back and for the next cuple of hours there was lots of eye contact and smiling. Towards the end of the night he came over and was like would you like to dance? So there was lots of dancing and hardcore flirting going on. Hes from scotland so has a hot accent too. I know I shouldn't need men to validate me but its good to feel like I'm attractive again.
Thanks everyone for all your support over the past week. I've been a bit mardy for obviousl reasons but all is better now. I think it gave me the kick up the ass I needed to really get serious about eating right.
The past couple of days I've been doing quite well. Scrambled eggs for breakfast with grilled tomatoes and mushrooms (divine). Biiig chicken/turkey or cottage cheese salad for lunch and roasted vegetables with a lean meat for dinner. Combined with lots of fruit to snack on and loads of nuts washed down with water I feel really really good and positive.
Does anyone else think that crap food is addictive? I mean there is obviously something in it that makes people want it but when I eat processed unhealthy stuff I crave it. I have to go cold turkey for a week or so to lose the cravings. Are the manufacturers putting crack in the food or something?!
Last night I went out to celebrate the end of the university year (thank God!) Started out well but had a couple too many drinks, mostly vodka or bacardi and diet coke. However there was lots of dancing so I've hopefully not done too much damage.
Also *excitedly jumping about on chair* when I got to the club there was this HOT man there, he caught me looking and smile, I smiled back and for the next cuple of hours there was lots of eye contact and smiling. Towards the end of the night he came over and was like would you like to dance? So there was lots of dancing and hardcore flirting going on. Hes from scotland so has a hot accent too. I know I shouldn't need men to validate me but its good to feel like I'm attractive again.
G
Guest
Guest
Hello Fat to Fabulous,
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 10 LB DROP!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!
I doubt that it had anything to do with the weight with that guy. When I first started reading I was thinking, "oh dear" a Player, player's aren't actually true to themselves, that's why they play. And Yes I do judge. A person's past is what represents their future. And a Player does NOT know how to play in the real game....LIFE....so they make up their own game and rules. Anyways just my theory.
You don't want NOR need someone like that. You are doing so well right now, and that is a hurdle that you landed with two feet, just makes you stronger in the end!!
You GO GIRL!!!!! WOO WOO WOO
Lata
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 10 LB DROP!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!
I doubt that it had anything to do with the weight with that guy. When I first started reading I was thinking, "oh dear" a Player, player's aren't actually true to themselves, that's why they play. And Yes I do judge. A person's past is what represents their future. And a Player does NOT know how to play in the real game....LIFE....so they make up their own game and rules. Anyways just my theory.
You don't want NOR need someone like that. You are doing so well right now, and that is a hurdle that you landed with two feet, just makes you stronger in the end!!
You GO GIRL!!!!! WOO WOO WOO Lata
cherrygarcia
New member
OMG! girl your diary is like steamy hot! it's so damn interesting! i always want to kno what your upto (since mine is just gym updates...lol!) so thats what it feels like to have a social life...lol!
i used to be quite social when i was much younger but as the years went by my self confidence started plunging lower and lower and started shutting out the world...i'm only just starting to pick up the pieces now. i'm hoping by the end of this year i'll actually have a social life again. for now, in my case i decided to shut out the world and work on me just a little more.
in the past it would always be my skinny friends all want us to go out so i run into my room and dress up and put makeup on and feel like a million bucks untill i walk out of the room and find that my skinny friends have all dressed up too and look even a million times greater since they're in short skirts and tight little tops...then we'll go out and all the guys will be hovering around them and buying drinks and no one will so much as be lookin my way so at the end of the night we'll all be having 'girl' talk where everyone will be saying this happened and that guy said this and so and so did that....and i'll be dead silent because nothing happened to me all night and go to bed in tears!
when i look back now i think that it's just because i've had really low self-esteem, now i'm starting to get my act together, even though i'm still big i'm feeling a little more confident everyday and i think that shows to the world so hopefully i'll give it a go soon. i have this friend who keeps bugging me to go for some live jazz night thingy every weekend and i keep giving some excuse not to go. hmmm, i just might turn up there one of these fine days.
okay sorry to ramble on about me....getting back to you, i think you have a whole lot of confidence which is so amazing and radiates in all your posts!, because of you i just might go out sooner than i thought i would instead of just making excuses not to all the time.
as for that hot guy woohoo! way to go hun! was so excited for you...you'd think i was there...lol!
and i totally know what you mean by that last statement about how we don't need men to validate us but it sure would be nice to feel desired and wanted every now and then. k, till next time, can't believe tomorrows monday grrrr xoxo
PS: i love how you started your post with 'dear diary'...it reminds me how the other day i found some diary i had when i was 14 and read through it all, it was so damn interesting! everyday i'd be like dear diary i like boy x, the next day boy x likes me back and has told my best friend to tell me, the day after that i catch boy x staring at me etc etc and you know whats sad? at the age of 14 i had more guys interested in me than in the next 14yrs of my life (ie from when i was 15-28), and i'm like WTF? thats not how it's supposed to be! anyway, what matters is that i'm getting my life back again, it's never too late. WE CAN DO THIS!
i used to be quite social when i was much younger but as the years went by my self confidence started plunging lower and lower and started shutting out the world...i'm only just starting to pick up the pieces now. i'm hoping by the end of this year i'll actually have a social life again. for now, in my case i decided to shut out the world and work on me just a little more.
in the past it would always be my skinny friends all want us to go out so i run into my room and dress up and put makeup on and feel like a million bucks untill i walk out of the room and find that my skinny friends have all dressed up too and look even a million times greater since they're in short skirts and tight little tops...then we'll go out and all the guys will be hovering around them and buying drinks and no one will so much as be lookin my way so at the end of the night we'll all be having 'girl' talk where everyone will be saying this happened and that guy said this and so and so did that....and i'll be dead silent because nothing happened to me all night and go to bed in tears!
when i look back now i think that it's just because i've had really low self-esteem, now i'm starting to get my act together, even though i'm still big i'm feeling a little more confident everyday and i think that shows to the world so hopefully i'll give it a go soon. i have this friend who keeps bugging me to go for some live jazz night thingy every weekend and i keep giving some excuse not to go. hmmm, i just might turn up there one of these fine days.
okay sorry to ramble on about me....getting back to you, i think you have a whole lot of confidence which is so amazing and radiates in all your posts!, because of you i just might go out sooner than i thought i would instead of just making excuses not to all the time.
as for that hot guy woohoo! way to go hun! was so excited for you...you'd think i was there...lol!
and i totally know what you mean by that last statement about how we don't need men to validate us but it sure would be nice to feel desired and wanted every now and then. k, till next time, can't believe tomorrows monday grrrr xoxo
PS: i love how you started your post with 'dear diary'...it reminds me how the other day i found some diary i had when i was 14 and read through it all, it was so damn interesting! everyday i'd be like dear diary i like boy x, the next day boy x likes me back and has told my best friend to tell me, the day after that i catch boy x staring at me etc etc and you know whats sad? at the age of 14 i had more guys interested in me than in the next 14yrs of my life (ie from when i was 15-28), and i'm like WTF? thats not how it's supposed to be! anyway, what matters is that i'm getting my life back again, it's never too late. WE CAN DO THIS!
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Fat to Fabulous
New member
Haha, its not my intention to write a Mills and Boon honestly. Thanks for your comments though, I know I say it often but the support and knowing that there are other people in the world going through this makes it just a little bit easier.
Cherry - you need to accept the invitations and go out! I know how tempting it can be to hide away in the house, I've done it lots but the only thing it achieves is to make you depressed and as the kitchen is in such close proximity you just eat. Its a vicious circle. I too have the skinny friends - my best friens is a six foot two size ten goddess who is somehow smaller now after a baby...
I used to feel really in awe of her and my other skinny blonde friends. I hate the way how they can walk into any shop and buy a teeny weeny dress fling it on an still look good. I had to raise my game and spend hours choosing clothes, applying makeup, getting groomed, waxed, threaded to feel even half decent. I wouldn't say it was wasted time though, cos I really do believe that the time I spend on myself boosts my confidence.
Talking of confidence - I wouldn't say I'm over confident - despite the 150 extra lbs I'm carrying I know I'm not ugly. I spend enough time and money on myself to ensure that I look ok. I think what I have is a kind of false confidence - I guess the technical word is a front! I always do the classic confidence tricks like walk tall, smile etc - I try and project it even if I am a quivering mess inside. I've spent years ignoring taunts about my weight and I guess I just developed a false confidence so people didn't see that it was affecting me.
Re guys, its sad but true - I just adore them. Its great now its summery and they are all wandering about wearing next to nothing
I guess I'm quite lucky in the fact that I've had my fair share of boyfriends, dates etc. Attention from men is nice and I totally agree with what you said.
Cherry - you need to accept the invitations and go out! I know how tempting it can be to hide away in the house, I've done it lots but the only thing it achieves is to make you depressed and as the kitchen is in such close proximity you just eat. Its a vicious circle. I too have the skinny friends - my best friens is a six foot two size ten goddess who is somehow smaller now after a baby...
I used to feel really in awe of her and my other skinny blonde friends. I hate the way how they can walk into any shop and buy a teeny weeny dress fling it on an still look good. I had to raise my game and spend hours choosing clothes, applying makeup, getting groomed, waxed, threaded to feel even half decent. I wouldn't say it was wasted time though, cos I really do believe that the time I spend on myself boosts my confidence.
Talking of confidence - I wouldn't say I'm over confident - despite the 150 extra lbs I'm carrying I know I'm not ugly. I spend enough time and money on myself to ensure that I look ok. I think what I have is a kind of false confidence - I guess the technical word is a front! I always do the classic confidence tricks like walk tall, smile etc - I try and project it even if I am a quivering mess inside. I've spent years ignoring taunts about my weight and I guess I just developed a false confidence so people didn't see that it was affecting me.
Re guys, its sad but true - I just adore them. Its great now its summery and they are all wandering about wearing next to nothing
I guess I'm quite lucky in the fact that I've had my fair share of boyfriends, dates etc. Attention from men is nice and I totally agree with what you said.
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Camy
New member
Sounds like you are doing well girl!
Boy attention is always nice, I am "married" (not actually paper and ring married, but live with him off his money married) so I don't "need" it, but man, does it feel good when it happens! I remember about 3 months into my new life style, I had lost like 8 or 10 pounds maybe and a guy saw me checking myself out in a mirror on the streets and said "no need to check, you look perfect"... totally made my day, week and probably month!
Have a great week, Camy
Boy attention is always nice, I am "married" (not actually paper and ring married, but live with him off his money married
) so I don't "need" it, but man, does it feel good when it happens! I remember about 3 months into my new life style, I had lost like 8 or 10 pounds maybe and a guy saw me checking myself out in a mirror on the streets and said "no need to check, you look perfect"... totally made my day, week and probably month!Have a great week, Camy
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Thanks Camy! How are you? Thats a cool story, I bet you are still on cloud nine from that story!
Sounds like you are doing well girl!
Boy attention is always nice, I am "married" (not actually paper and ring married, but live with him off his money married
Have a great week, Camy
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Hi diary!
So today I had a couple of milestones, to some they may be little insignificant ones but to me they are major.
I had polenta with chicken and tomato and veg sauce for dinner, I'm all for the little plate trick so it looks like I've got loads. I was munching away when this really unfamiliar sensation came over me. Honestly I was worried, I thought I needed an ambulance or something. This bizzare feeling was one of being full! Now of course I know what full feels like, I sometimes binge so I'm so full I'm almost sick but this was different, its was like a pleasantly full, not stuffed to bursting but full enough so I knew I didn't need anymore.
For me this is a massive achievement. When I was a young child we were always encouraged to eat everything put in front of us, in so many houses leaving food on the plate was seen as a terrible thing to do so I've never done it. Then when my mum remarried when I was in my early teens her husband fitted a lock on the kitchen door which really messed up my relationship with food.
Although its just a piece of polenta, a couple of chunks of courgette and some chicken, that plate represents so much more than leftovers to me. It represents the fact that I've left my old "cram everything in" mentality behind. I honestly don't even want to wash the plate - this is better than any drop in the scale numbers for my mental wellbeing.
So today I had a couple of milestones, to some they may be little insignificant ones but to me they are major.
I had polenta with chicken and tomato and veg sauce for dinner, I'm all for the little plate trick so it looks like I've got loads. I was munching away when this really unfamiliar sensation came over me. Honestly I was worried, I thought I needed an ambulance or something. This bizzare feeling was one of being full! Now of course I know what full feels like, I sometimes binge so I'm so full I'm almost sick but this was different, its was like a pleasantly full, not stuffed to bursting but full enough so I knew I didn't need anymore.
For me this is a massive achievement. When I was a young child we were always encouraged to eat everything put in front of us, in so many houses leaving food on the plate was seen as a terrible thing to do so I've never done it. Then when my mum remarried when I was in my early teens her husband fitted a lock on the kitchen door which really messed up my relationship with food.
Although its just a piece of polenta, a couple of chunks of courgette and some chicken, that plate represents so much more than leftovers to me. It represents the fact that I've left my old "cram everything in" mentality behind. I honestly don't even want to wash the plate - this is better than any drop in the scale numbers for my mental wellbeing.
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Ok today continued...
I didn't mention this but I went for a long drive to Wales on Sunday and had a job interview which I got The house I'm staying in has a pool so when I was mooching though Sainsburys today I saw some swimsuits in sale. Now this time last year, I wouldn't have dared to put a swimsuit on, not even for a million pounds. But today I bought.... a two piece, yes I said a TWO PIECE!!! I'm chuffed, its not an itsy bitsy one, more of a tankini with big briefs. I tried it on and although there are some bits that need work I can see that the love handles are going and (sorry for the tmi) the overhang that my tummy does over my lady parts (I did say sorry!) is much smaller
Woohoo for non scale victories I'm heading to the supermarket to use their great fancy weighing machine in the morning so I'll be able to update the week's losses (hopefully) in the morning.
Hope you're all doing well, please do say hello xx
I didn't mention this but I went for a long drive to Wales on Sunday and had a job interview which I got
The house I'm staying in has a pool so when I was mooching though Sainsburys today I saw some swimsuits in sale. Now this time last year, I wouldn't have dared to put a swimsuit on, not even for a million pounds. But today I bought.... a two piece, yes I said a TWO PIECE!!! I'm chuffed, its not an itsy bitsy one, more of a tankini with big briefs. I tried it on and although there are some bits that need work I can see that the love handles are going and (sorry for the tmi) the overhang that my tummy does over my lady parts (I did say sorry!) is much smaller Woohoo for non scale victories
I'm heading to the supermarket to use their great fancy weighing machine in the morning so I'll be able to update the week's losses (hopefully) in the morning.Hope you're all doing well, please do say hello xx
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Now for a scale victory!
Ok, just a wee updatew, I went to Tesco to use their high tech weighing scale this monring and I've managed to drop 5lbs this week so thats 36lbs down from my all time high I'm really pleased. I also measured my body fat and the 5lbs has come off that - II'm not 60.1% body fat, still wayyy too high but its shrinking which is incredible!
Ok, just a wee updatew, I went to Tesco to use their high tech weighing scale this monring and I've managed to drop 5lbs this week so thats 36lbs down from my all time high
I'm really pleased. I also measured my body fat and the 5lbs has come off that - II'm not 60.1% body fat, still wayyy too high but its shrinking which is incredible!
cherrygarcia
New member
congrats on getting the new job!
and wow, on the new house with the pool...your one lucky girl! and wow on buying the two piece! and i toally know what you mean about the overhang tummy thing....my goodness for me it's the one thing i wish could dissappear first on my body...lol!
and congrats on loosing the 5lbs (wow, they say when it rains it pours! everything's going so well for you girl, i'm ecstatic!). which reminds me, everytime i go to tesco it's rush hour and i'm so paranoid to step on the scale in case someone finds me, i'll try and go at a later time when the store isn't too packed, the thing i want to know is my bodyfat % since i have no way of measuring it at home because i'd also like to start noting down at what rate its decreasing.
k, bye for now, xoxo
and wow, on the new house with the pool...your one lucky girl! and wow on buying the two piece! and i toally know what you mean about the overhang tummy thing....my goodness for me it's the one thing i wish could dissappear first on my body...lol!
and congrats on loosing the 5lbs (wow, they say when it rains it pours! everything's going so well for you girl, i'm ecstatic!). which reminds me, everytime i go to tesco it's rush hour and i'm so paranoid to step on the scale in case someone finds me, i'll try and go at a later time when the store isn't too packed, the thing i want to know is my bodyfat % since i have no way of measuring it at home because i'd also like to start noting down at what rate its decreasing.
k, bye for now, xoxo
Ok today continued...
I didn't mention this but I went for a long drive to Wales on Sunday and had a job interview which I got
Woohoo for non scale victories
Hope you're all doing well, please do say hello xx
Ok, just a wee updatew, I went to Tesco to use their high tech weighing scale this monring and I've managed to drop 5lbs this week so thats 36lbs down from my all time high
G
Guest
Guest
Hello Fat to Fabulous,
Congratulations on getting fuller sooner!! That is such an accomplishment! That's very exciting!
I still have this problem, I feel like I still have to load the plate to feel like I've eaten enough. I can't find the middle ground yet....I probably need more protein again or something.
I get waxed & threaded too. Ow being threaded....
Way To Go on the Two Piece!! BOOYA!
You're just takin care of all the stops now, and a New Job!!!
Where my high tech scales at in the Grocery Store?!
Take Care, Lata
Congratulations on getting fuller sooner!! That is such an accomplishment! That's very exciting!
I still have this problem, I feel like I still have to load the plate to feel like I've eaten enough. I can't find the middle ground yet....I probably need more protein again or something.
I get waxed & threaded too. Ow being threaded....
Way To Go on the Two Piece!! BOOYA!
You're just takin care of all the stops now, and a New Job!!!
Where my high tech scales at in the Grocery Store?!
Take Care, Lata
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Thanks! I know what you mean about the scale thing - its really loud the first time I used it i was sooo scared it was going to shout out how much I weigh to the whole of Manchester. there are two tesco's near here, one has the sale just behind the checkouts, there is no way I'll ever use that one, but the other has it tucked away in a corner by the loss, so thats the one I like to use.
the body fat thing is interesting - If i had no fat just skin and bone I would weigh 9st 2lbs according to the reading.
the body fat thing is interesting - If i had no fat just skin and bone I would weigh 9st 2lbs according to the reading.
congrats on getting the new job!
and wow, on the new house with the pool...your one lucky girl! and wow on buying the two piece! and i toally know what you mean about the overhang tummy thing....my goodness for me it's the one thing i wish could dissappear first on my body...lol!
and congrats on loosing the 5lbs (wow, they say when it rains it pours! everything's going so well for you girl, i'm ecstatic!). which reminds me, everytime i go to tesco it's rush hour and i'm so paranoid to step on the scale in case someone finds me, i'll try and go at a later time when the store isn't too packed, the thing i want to know is my bodyfat % since i have no way of measuring it at home because i'd also like to start noting down at what rate its decreasing.
k, bye for now, xoxo
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Hi there!
Oh my I o know what you mean about having a loaded plate, thats where I fail, I seem to think i need a mountain of food to satisfy me. So I've just started making the mountains of healthy things rather than chips and mash!
I haven't gotten round to counting cals yet (bad I know) but I fill my plate up with salad and veg, I tend to weigh my carbs and I have as much lean protien as i want. Also try the smaller plate trick - it sounds really stupid but it works. Don't use a saucer, just a slightly smaller diner plate.
Threading is murder isn't it? I cry my eyes out but I LOVE the results, its sooo pretty!
Oh my I o know what you mean about having a loaded plate, thats where I fail, I seem to think i need a mountain of food to satisfy me. So I've just started making the mountains of healthy things rather than chips and mash!
I haven't gotten round to counting cals yet (bad I know) but I fill my plate up with salad and veg, I tend to weigh my carbs and I have as much lean protien as i want. Also try the smaller plate trick - it sounds really stupid but it works. Don't use a saucer, just a slightly smaller diner plate.
Threading is murder isn't it? I cry my eyes out but I LOVE the results, its sooo pretty!
Hello Fat to Fabulous,
Congratulations on getting fuller sooner!! That is such an accomplishment! That's very exciting!
I still have this problem, I feel like I still have to load the plate to feel like I've eaten enough. I can't find the middle ground yet....I probably need more protein again or something.
I get waxed & threaded too. Ow being threaded....
Way To Go on the Two Piece!! BOOYA!
You're just takin care of all the stops now, and a New Job!!!
Where my high tech scales at in the Grocery Store?!
Take Care, Lata
Fat to Fabulous
New member
Hi 18% How are you?
I know, i would never ever measure the amount of veggies I eat. Unless potatoes cos i can pig out on those easily!
I haven't taken any measurements yet - just what the scale says. I also like to see how my clothes fit - I have a few dresses that tell me instantly if I've gained weight. I was walking in the park just now wearing my loose "boyfriend" fitting jeans which kept falling down and revealing my cherry print knickers - I must have looked like onw of those dumb kids that meander about with their pants round their ass!
I'm more bothered about the body fat percentage than weight though at the moment.
I know, i would never ever measure the amount of veggies I eat. Unless potatoes cos i can pig out on those easily!
I haven't taken any measurements yet - just what the scale says. I also like to see how my clothes fit - I have a few dresses that tell me instantly if I've gained weight. I was walking in the park just now wearing my loose "boyfriend" fitting jeans which kept falling down and revealing my cherry print knickers - I must have looked like onw of those dumb kids that meander about with their pants round their ass!
I'm more bothered about the body fat percentage than weight though at the moment.