The Road to Change...

It's hard for me to eat. I know it sounds insane or something coming from a 300lb woman, but I find it really hard to eat a lot. Before dieting my normal eating routine would be something like... wake up, eat breakfast (like a bowl or cereal or I would make pancakes) then the whoooole day I wouldn't eat anything until dinner. I would just have a normal 3 course meal and hardly ever go back for seconds. Then I would eat something really unhealthy for me right before sleep, like a piece of pie or a donut or something. I realize that its not the amount you eat, but WHAT you eat. And that was the cause of my gradual weight gain over the years.

But now that I'm eating healthy, its still hard for me to eat a lot. I count my calories and I get extremely discouraged when I can't make it to a certain amount. I think "Damn, I still have to eat more?!" Eating is becoming a chore, sometimes I have to force the food down.

I do feel better than I did last night. I gave myself a good talking to, and also my mom cheered me up. This is a slow process and I shouldn't expect to lose a certain amount of weight every week.

Yesterday though I walked to Curves, and let me say that the distance doesn't seem that far by car, but its a hell of a walk for someone that doesn't usually walk that far. The muscles in my legs were screaming, either with agony or triumph. I'm going to continue to walk to Curves.
 
hey CFL, way to go with walking to curves, that's awesome!!! no worries about the scale my dear. i know it can be really frustrating especially when you're working so hard, but just remember that no matter if you lose 4 lbs one week or gain one back the next, it's the process you're going through that matters!!! you're making a positive change for your health, and that's fantastic!

on a side note, 150oz of water does seem like quite a bit. i drink 64 oz a day minimum which is my 8 cups. i'd recommend something less because you definitely can overhydrate yourself which causes a drop in sodium within the body. . . . .not a good thing. (despite all the hype about low sodium, our bodies actually do need it to work!)

chin up, soon you'll be jogging to curves and back! ;)
 
Hi Girl, I know you are strong. Please look at the big picture-Health! :) You have nothing to gain but happiness! You are doing every thing right!But you could try to eat something every 3 hours, your body could be trying to store fat because it thinks your going to starve it)
YOU deserve This:) Please don't look back, when you have so much to look forward to! YOU are the one who will make this happen. Don't let the little thing hold you back. This change is for you,Sister. I'm holding your hand :D Smile
 
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hey CFL, I know what you mean about not being able to eat enough. I had a tough time when I first started counting... mostly because I started eating healthier food at the same time. 3 meals per day with 2 snacks in between has been great for me. If half way through the day i think I'll be low I'll have a bigger mean or snack (not quantity but calorie wise). Keep that head up high girl, your doing great!
 
Hi CFL!! You walked to the gym?? That's great - Wow! Don't get discouraged. This isn't a diet it's the rest of your life. You're still building new habits and it can be a hard process. Keep up the super work girl!!! :D:D
 
Hey Guys, thanks for the replies, hope all is well with you.

Tonight family was over. It was weird too because we weren't expecting them, they all just sort of ended up over at our house tonight.

My parents made Ham, Collard Greens and Macoroni and Cheese. I was going to eat a lean cuisine meal but then everyone started digging in to the yummy feast and I decided to join. I just ate a slice of Ham and Collard Greens, no Macoroni and Cheese and made myself a salad. The thing is, I have no idea how many calories is in what, but I think I was in range for today. I also had a half a cup of ice cream. Yum.

This morning my crazy scale told me I was down two pounds, tonight it says I'm up about 3 pounds. I'm blaming it on the time of day and eating so late. Hmmm...

Silly time changes, it seems later than it is.

My friend that I haven't seen in a while because her schedule is so busy emailed me a picture of her before and after weigh loss pictures and I'm totally blown away by them. We're really good friends, we've been friends since elementary, knew each other since pre-school. I'm sad that lately our friendship is just been reduced to an email friendship cuz of her hectic schedule. Though I am SOOOO proud of her for doing this, it motivates me SO much. It makes me wanna exercise. I missed Curves yesterday because it's only open in the morning on Saturdays and I didn't feel like waking up. And its closed on Sundays. I want to put in a Richard Simmons tape and work out for a bit. I feel so motivated to do so.

I obviously feel in the mood for typing, I'll stop now and go work out.
 
So, I did all 60 minutes of Richard Simmons, and I'm glad I did. It's the first time ever since I started dieting recently that I worked out at 60 minutes at a whole time. Yay me!!
 
Way to go!! Richard Simmons? Wow, I haven't seen one of his vids in a looong time! He's so much fun though, hope you enjoyed it! :)
 
Way to Go sister!:p Just popped in to say Hello, and to let you know that I am cheering for you!:D Have a great Day!!!!!:p
 
Thanks guys.

So I went to the doctor today. (BLAH) The best part about it was I got weighed and it said that I'm 296! Wahooo. So that means that I'm officially down 2lbs. I am going to weigh myself at Curves too, since I've been using that scale, so I can get the correct reading from that. But I think it will be just as accurate.
 
TY pequin.

So...A lady that my mom knows told me that I looked good, later, after she talked a bit with my mom, my mom told me that she said that it looks like I lost weight. This is very surprising as I've only lost 8lbs so far. My pants and tops still fit the same, so I don't think I've lost many inches yet. Maybe I just look healthier? I don't know. It was weird, yet it still made me feel good.

:D
 
Morning.

Worked out to Richard Simmons for 40 minutes. Got a real good sweat up, got the heart rate up.

There is chocolate in the house. A whole bucket full. Snickers, Milky Way, Heath. I see it sitting on the dinning room table as I go into the kitchen. It's taunting me with its shiny wrappers glistening in the open.

The kids that live nearby go to a local church where they pass out loads of candy, play games, and have good ol clean fun. So not many tricksters come by. Last year THREE kids came to our house. THREE!! I don't know why on this green earth my parents bought so much candy.

My parents made me fat. Well, at least they taught me very bad habits of eating. I don't necessarily blame them, but I know they helped me get this way. I would never tell them that, it would hurt their feelings, make them feel bad, they probably know it anyway.

My sister-in-law is a size that doesn't take 3, 4, or 5 sets of hands to count on, actually you could count her size just on one hand, hell, maybe even just stick up your thumb. When the car pulls over to pick you up, tell them your next destination is I-wanna-puke-because-she's-so-skinny-town. Despite this I learn from my brother and my sister-in-law. They are very fit and healthy people, that have two beautiful children. They keep their kids on a really good diet, make sure they get exercise, and make sure they don't eat too many sweets and candy. But they do tend to splurge when they come over to grandma's house.

All kids need more healthy food like they do. But I guess it is fun for the kids to have some chocolate on Halloween.

Afternoon.

Couldn't resist the chocolate any longer. I had 4 mini Snickers bars. - 170 Cals. Not bad.

Evening.

I got into a sort of argument with my mother. I asked her to give all the candy away, I sort of told her that it shouldn't be around the house because I will get tempted, and my parents frankly don't need it either because my parents aren't in the best shape. She didn't say much, but could tell that she didn't want to get rid of it. It really made me mad.

I left and worked out at Curves. Just got back. Felt good to exercise out what I was mad at.

Now I just wanted to say thanks to EVERYONE that joined this forum. I read diaries, and posts everyday and it really really motivates me to stay on track, because its really hard to do it in the house where everyone eats what I cannot. It's not like my parents and family don't support me, they do, a lot. They've helped me, but seeing them not being on the same track as I, really makes this house and my emotions unbalanced. So I don't think I could do it without this support of this community, so thanks.

Happy Halloween everyone.
 
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lol.... I'm so stupid! I was reading your workout for the morning. I was like "Richard Simmons has a workout video?" I was thinking Gene Simmons for some reason! :D

You're doing great CFL, keep it up. Glad to hear your trying to get rid of all temptation. You certainly sound like you're on the right track!
 
Thanks ready.

Just worked out at Curves. I weighed myself for the November challenge and I lost 2 more pounds, bringing me to a total of about 10lbs since October 11th when I started. So the November challenge of 10lbs should be no problem.

I am SO happy for me its a crying shame.
 
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Also, I don't know if it was the mirror or something, but I was looking in it sideways and I think I can see a difference. Yay, I'm so happy.

*does a cartwheel and lands in a split* (K, maybe I'm pushing it with that)
 
changeforlife said:
*does a cartwheel and lands in a split* (K, maybe I'm pushing it with that)
Click to expand...

LOL.. I soo wish I could do that, splits - sure thing.. but I have problems with the cartwheel part.

You're doing sooo good!! I'm proud of you girly!! :D:D:D

Ps.. Gene Simmons workout tape? Sounds like a porno..lol
 
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